True story: I once had a roommate who would stock up all the kitchen cabinets with pasta. He didn’t really cook it quite that often, but when asked for an explanation, he did say that knowing he had boxes of every available kind at home gave him comfort. With such dedication, I think jokes about pasta would be his favorite.
Pasta has indeed been known as a comfort food for a long time (I mean, if you eat it and don’t just hoard it). Apart from it being high in carbs – we all love some good ol’ carbs every now and then – one major plus point is that you can eat pasta in so many different ways. From all kinds of shapes and cooking styles to a heartwarming variety of sauces, you will never run out of options.
But I also encourage you to experiment. Even if you are not a great cook, there is little you can do to ruin pasta. I, for one, used to sprinkle a spoon of sugar over macaroni when I was a kid. Believe it or not, it tastes amazing. Besides, if pasta puns are not really your thing, this will give you full right to start making pasta sauce puns. It will still count as a pasta joke.
In our collection of funny pasta jokes, nothing is off the menu. You will find some good noodle puns alongside carbonara jokes and much more. And if you are in the mood to experiment, we have even put together some pasta pick-up lines to try on someone you fancy.
"I spent my entire life savings on Pasta. It was worth every Penne."
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What do you call pasta that has shrunk in the washing machine?
Micro-ni.
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What is the saddest pasta?
Tort-alone-i.
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"I stopped eating Italian food, now that’s a thing of the pasta!"
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How does a guy from Boston ask his minister to pass him the spaghetti at dinner?
"Pastah pastah pastah."
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"My girlfriend left me because of what she described as my "Weird pasta fetish." Now I'm feeling cannelloni."
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"I'm starting a new pasta cult. May we praise the Noodle Lord for eternity. Ramen."
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What pasta is always getting locked out of its house?
Gnocchi!
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"I told my wife I was making a bicycle out of spaghetti. She didn't believe me... Until I rode pasta."
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There are 500 types of pasta, the pastabilities are endless.
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What kind of pasta do ghosts like to eat?
Fettuccini afraido!
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What do you call a sad noodle?
Upsetti spaghetti!
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What do you call partially cooked pasta that’s on fire?
Aldente’s Inferno.
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Those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.
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What's the most relaxing type of pasta?
Spa-ghetti.
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What do you call pasta that lives in the hood?
Spaghetto.
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Why wouldn’t the fettuccine go out for Halloween?
Because it was too Alfredo.
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What do you call it when someone cries because their spaghetti is vegetarian?
A meat brawl!
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What do you get when you make a dish with marinara and alfredo sauce?
The best of both pasta-bowl worlds!
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What did the ravioli play at his birthday party?
Pasta parcel!
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The local scientist takes his dog to work to help experiment on pasta. It’s a labranoodle.
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Did you hear about the pasta maker who followed in his father’s footsteps?
It just goes to show that the apple doesn’t farfalle from the tree!
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Like unrinsed spaghetti noodles, good friends stick together.
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Why does pasta always have to pay so much for car insurance?
Because his car always ends up al dente.
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How do you say goodbye to an Italian chef?
Pasta la vista!
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What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccini A-fraid-o.
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What did Lara eat for dinner?
Croft Macaroni and Cheese.
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What does Elton John have after getting drunk at an Italian restaurant?
Penne and regrets.
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"A chubby woman got stuck in the door of my local Italian buffet. I just couldn't get pasta."
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When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop. He was known as the pasta barista baby.
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"I like to chat with others while eating Italian food. It helps to pasta time."
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"I was at a buffet trying to get some spaghetti but a lady was blocking me... I couldn't get pasta."
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A restaurant served me soggy spaghetti. So I put in a re-straining order.
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What did the cheese say to the spaghetti?
"I'm gonna touch you. Do I have your parmesan?"
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Why did the woman miss the spaghetti train?
Because it went straight pasta.
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What do you call something that looks like pasta, and tastes like pasta, but isn't pasta?
An impasta.
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What type of pasta is best eaten on its own?
Ravi-lonely.
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What kind of pasta do they eat in Antarctica?
Penguine.
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What type of pasta do crooked musical writers like?
Rigatoni.
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I told my mom I wanted to have potato pasta for dinner. Her response?
Gnocchi dokey.
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What sort of pasta do you use if you want to fix a musical theatre award?
Rigatoni.
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Where do the tomato and pasta go dancing?
At the Meat Ball.
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Did you hear the pasta makers in Italy revolted?
It was a ravioli-tion.
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What is the scariest type of pasta sauce?
Mushroom and ghost cheese!
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What did the pasta say to the tomato?
Don’t get saucy with me!
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What type of pasta clings to everything?
Clinguine!
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What type of pasta does the Pope eat?
Holy macaroni!
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What did the pasta say to the cheese?
It’s grate to meet you!
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How did the police solve the case of a stolen marinara sauce?
They caught the thief red-handed!
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"I cannoli shake my head and marvel at how fantastic you are."
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Should Ric make the chicken parmigiana?
No, ricotta make the lasagna!
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Do you know the Ghostbuster’s catchphrase in Italian?
"I ain’t alfredo no ghost!"
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What does expensive pasta cost?
A pretty penne.
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What did the spaghetti say to the penne when they were walking too slow?
Go pasta!
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Tired of boiling water every time you make pasta?
Boil some at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later.
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What do you call religious pasta?
Raviholy.
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What’s the most humorous kind of pasta?
Tortellini!
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What do you call sick pasta?
Mac n’ sneeze!
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Why couldn’t the man lift three tonnes of pasta?
Because he wasn’t stroganoff!
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"If I waited too long to eat my ravioli, would I be pro-pasta-anting?"
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Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Pasta.
Pasta who?
Pasta salt please.
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What did the spaghetti say to the meatball at dinner time?
Pasta sauce.
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"I'm not saying I'm a bad cook. But how long does pasta stay in the toaster?"
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What do you call religious pasta?
Raviholy.
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"Today is National Pasta Day. I have a friend that would have loved today, but sadly she's pastaway."
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"My partner laughed at me when I told her I was going to make a bike out of Macaroni. You should've seen her face when I cycled pasta."
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What do you call a little boy made of pasta who comes to life?
Pi-gnocchi-o.
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Why is Mom's Spaghetti better than the covid vaccine?
Because you only get one shot.
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Why was the spaghetti so exhausted?
Because it strained itself.
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What do you call a plate of spaghetti that sells itself?
A pastatute.
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"I really like going to the Old Spaghetti Factory, but... I just wish they would make me a fresh plate."
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Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery. We're calling it Send Noods.
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What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Spooketti.
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Why don’t Italians have BBQs?
The spaghetti falls through the grill.
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Did you hear about the pasta and its cooking water?
Their relationship was strained.
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"I dropped a piece of pasta off of a cliff, It was a farfalle."
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What do you give an abusive pasta chef who always serves wet noodles?
A re-straining order.
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A Macaroni, a Penne, and Spaghetti were drinking wine in a bar one evening. They saw a noodle sitting by himself and discussed inviting him to join them. They all agreed he looked Cannelloni.
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Why didn’t the ravioli get invited to hang out with the cool pasta?
Because be was too square!
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What do you call pasta that you haven’t eaten yet?
Futura!
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Asked the waiter how long my spaghetti would be. He said he didn’t know but would measure it.
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Always wonder if mixing pasta and antipasto is like mixing matter and anti-matter.
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What kind of pasta can make all your wishes come true?
Fettugenie.
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Where do you find scary stories about Italian food?
CreepyPasta!
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What would you get if you crossed pasta with a snake?
Spaghetti that wraps itself around a fork.
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"I taught my son about gravity by throwing pasta and sauce at the ceiling. He didn’t get it at first, but it wasn’t long before the penne dropped."
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What type of dish does an impasta make?
Faked ziti!
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"I’ve been trying to come up with a good pasta joke but it’s in pasta bowl!"
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What do Pastafarians smoke?
Medicinal Marinara.
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What do you call a pasta designer?
J.C Penne.
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"My wife left me because I couldn't stop doing impressions of pasta. And now I'm cannelloni."
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Asked a mate about the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He said Well, it boils down to this.
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What do you call heavily burnt pasta?
Al Dante.
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What is Forrest Gump's favorite pasta?
Penne.
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You know what place has great pasta?
Hell, I hear everything is Al Dante.
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Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
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The mafia has boiled a man to death in an industrial pasta cooker. Police are still trying to al dentefy the victim.
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"I was choking on some alphabet pasta when a lady asked if I needed help. She took the words right out of my mouth."
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What did the macaroni say to the spaghetti in the boxing ring?
Came and spaghet it!
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Did you hear that Sally ate three bowls of spaghetti?
"No, but I wouldn’t put it pasta!"
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Sorry, this gift is pasta due.
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What do you call a plate of spaghetti that looks like blood and guts?
Creepypasta!
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How small is the smallest type of pasta?
It’s about a centimeter orzo!
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How much water should you use when you make pasta?
About a cup orzo!
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What does an Irishman get after eating Italian lasagna?
Gaelic breath!
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Where does an Italian keep their loose change?
In their penne jar.
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Did you hear about the traveling pasta salesman?
His commission was penne’s on the dollar.
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What Beatles song charted highest in Italy?
Penne Lane.
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There’s an Italian town where pasta is a currency. A penne for their thoughts.
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What did the mummy pasta say to the baby pasta?
It’s pasta your bedtime!
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Did you hear about the Italian man who pasta way?
Now he’s a pizza history!
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Did you hear about the man with a car made out of pasta?
He got in a crash and now his car's al dente!
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Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Sid.
Sid who?
Sid down, it’s time to eat our pasta!
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"I think I was Italian, in a pasta life."
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Did you hear about the new Italian restaurant that just opened in the afterlife?
It's called Pasta Way.
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My 9-year-old told me this one. What is the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti?
Meatballs.
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What's the secret ingredient in Bruce Buffer's spaghetti sauce?
IIIIIIIIIt's Thyme!!!
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There was a pile-up on Spaghetti Junction today. Reports say that 4 people were injured and 3 pasta way.
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Alphabetti Spaghetti makes a handy ouija board... For contacting people who've pasta way.
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