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People Share Their Stories About How Damaging Their Partners’ Gaming Addiction Is
There can always be too much of a good thing. If you throw moderation out the window, you’re not only harming yourself but you’re also impacting the people closest to you. In our digital and technologically advanced world, internet, social media, and video game addiction are a fact of life.
Today, we’re featuring three powerful and honest stories from Reddit where people opened up about how their partners’ massive video gaming habits have affected them. Scroll down to read them and to see what advice the internet had to share.
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Video game addiction can have massive negative effects on a person’s physical and mental health, as well as their social life
Image credits: Fausto Sandoval / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
One mom opened up about how her partner prioritized gaming over childcare
Image credits: ResolutionGreat8923
Another person opened up about how obsessed her boyfriend can get when it comes to video games
Image credits: Soumil Kumar / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Acrobatic-Bus-9911
Meanwhile, another internet user detailed how gaming has become a core part of her partner’s identity
Image credits: Anton Porsche / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: rogwithnoname
Image credits: JESHOOTS / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Gaming is incredibly widespread in this day and age
According to a recent study conducted by the Pew Research Center, 85% of teenagers living in the United States play video games. 41% of them do so every single day, and around the same number identify themselves as ‘gamers.’
There are lots of pros and cons associated with gaming, from making friends and getting good at solving various problems to losing sleep and getting harassed online.
72% of respondents revealed that they game to spend time with other people, while 47% admitted that they’ve made friends this way. However, 80% of American teens said that they believe harassment over video games is a problem that people their age deal with. 41% opened up that they’ve been insulted while playing online.
Video game addiction is also known as gaming disorder and has negative consequences on a person’s life because they’re unable to control their behavior. Their impaired control over gaming takes priority over other parts of their lives, harming their work, school performance, health, and personal relationships.
The World Health Organization has officially included gaming disorder in its 11th edition of the International Classification of Diseases.
People who suffer from gaming addiction can experience withdrawal symptoms. Among these are irritability or sadness when they stop playing. Meanwhile, they can also feel a greater need to play video games for longer. Some feel like they need to lie to others about how much they game. Meanwhile, others have failed at controlling their excessive gaming time.
However, Psychology Today notes that some experts are critical of gaming disorder diagnoses. From their perspective, it’s an indication that normal human behavior is being pathologized and treated for the sake of profit. From their point of view, it’s gaming passion, not addiction, that we should be talking about.
Image credits: Fredrick Tendong / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Some people are more likely than others to develop an obsession with activities that offer them escapism
People who are impulsive, have lower social skills, and a higher tolerance for violence may be at greater risk of video game addiction. Some other risk factors include having ADHD, depression, and anxiety.
The intention behind gaming matters, too. For instance, someone who plays video games for fun, to relax, or to connect with their friends may be less likely to become addicted than someone who wants to escape from their problems or to improve their status.
Gaming activates dopamine pathways. It’s what also happens when we do other pleasurable activities, though. Gaming can actually improve our minds. Say, for example, you like to play games that deal with a lot of spatial problems. Naturally, those regions of your brain that deal with spatial memory get activated, and they can grow over time. The same holds true for the parts of your brain related to visual acuity and attention.
If you can’t seem to stick to self-imposed time limits for gaming and you feel that your quality of life is suffering, then you need to take more serious steps to solve the problem. You can opt for a full or partial tech detox, exercise more, focus on other hobbies, or spend more time in nature or around family and friends. If things are really bad, you may want to get in touch with a therapist who specializes in addiction.
How much time do you spend gaming these days, dear Pandas? What’s the longest stretch of time that you’ve played video games for? Have you ever felt that you or a loved one has been addicted to gaming? How did that affect your lives? If you’re feeling up to it, share your thoughts in the comments.
Here’s how some internet users reacted to the viral stories they read
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What do you think ?
winterwidow87 1 year ago (edited)
I say this as a gamer and as someone who doesn't particularly like children: if your 4 month old is struggling for air and your answer instead of "omg is the baby ok?" is "i can't pause my game", there is something really deeply wrong with you. That level of disregard for human life (not to mention your own child) is definitely not normal and cannot simply be explained with addiction, i think the only solution is run and take the baby with you.
Kari Panda 1 year ago (edited)
Exactly. I don’t usually advocate for divorce/separation on these stories because we only know so little. But this scenario - the bf WILL get the baby hurt eventually, either by negligence or becoming violent if the kid is older and interrupts his game. This is non-negotiable - the moment you‘re a danger to your kid, you‘re out. And the whole "This is the first time that this happened“ - no, it’s the first time that she knows of.
Load More Replies...
UpQuarkDownQuark (he/him) 1 year ago
I’d chuck the Switch straight in the toilet if my partner said something like to me in response to our child suffering. I don’t even have a child. I don’t even *like* children, but f*ck that guy. You bring a baby into the world, you change your f*cking priorities!
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
I'm always playing games, but I'm a shut-in with absolutely no social life other than Bored Panda. My mom comes to visit every few months, and I put the games down.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
So this couple has a 4 month old and the bf sleeps from 3am -2pm? What?! That's what struck me.
Sergio Bicerra 1 year ago
They're two different stories (3 in this post). Either way, s****y partners.
Load More Replies... Amelia Jade 1 year ago
We're a family of five and all gamers. As children of the 80s, the husband and I grew up in arcades, then moved to consoles, then to PC. We're both 50 this year and still game regularly--almost daily. We also have weekends where we'll get on a game together until the wee hours of the morning. Our kids have been gamers their entire lives. And yet, we've all held down jobs. Kids were great students, graduating in the top of their class. And we each have hobbies outside of gaming. We're very outdoorsy and live in an area great for hiking. It's possible to be a well rounded, responsible person and still be a gamer. If someone can't set aside their game to tend to real life, and to keep their child safe, something is seriously wrong.
Moosy Girl 1 year ago
It’s also possible to enjoy alcohol in a responsible and fun manner, except for alcoholics. It’s possible to have fun playing the lottery and spend an occasional sunday afternoon at the slot machine in your local arcade, except for a gambling addict. It’s possible to enjoy food and even make a family hobby out of trying new foods, except for people with food addiction or any other eating disorder. Etc.
Load More Replies...
PattyK 1 year ago
The men in the three examples are addicts. Addicts rarely recognize there’s a problem, and since gaming involves no d***s or alcohol, they probably think it’s harmless. Their significant others can either find local support groups for families of addicts, leave the addicts, or let things continue the way they are.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
They are addicted to the dopamine effect from getting rewards and levelling up. This kind of addiction is really difficult to cut because they could quit video games, but then seek out the dopamine elsewhere, and that could be in the form of gambling, shoplifting, or something else. Some people just have addictive traits they need to work out the root cause of. Support groups for families... I don't know. Discussing how you feel about someone with an addiction doesn't help the addict. Best just to leave them to it.
Load More Replies...
Miss Pierce 1 year ago
gamer mom of 2 here. whenever I have the kids alone I just play turn-based games, simple as that, when one of my kids (2 and 6) need me, I am there, no matter how the game is going, I can walk away and continue after I am done with the kids, sometimes it will even take a whole afternoon and we go into the night attending the kids, and that's ok. I know that the game will wait for me and I can continue at any point. My kids come first!
StrangeOne 1 year ago
I would've thrown him out and all his gaming stuff. We would be done. No second chances. No second risks of that happening again.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
I played an incredibly good game a couple of years ago, and I loved it so much that once I'd beaten it I began another playthrough. When I realised I was beginning to grow obsessed with it to the point that I kept dreaming about it, I went "okay, not good, back out now". So I stopped playing it. Obsession faded. As an autistic person I'm especially prone to this sort of thing, so I have to be careful.
Charity Angel 1 year ago
It's good that you are aware enough of yourself that you can do that. If only more people were as aware of their mental health and how to take care of themselves. Actually, if only *society* had that collective level of awareness of mental health, it would be a lot easier not only for people to recognise this as an issue, but be able to seek help when it happens.
Load More Replies...
Ouss Ben Aziza 1 year ago
I am starting to think this is not a "gaming" problem... What kinda rational human picks those types of people?
Samsquatch & Monko 1 year ago
On the positive side my parents play games together and have fun so there’s that
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
Don't have a child with an addict who is not in recovery. If your partner develops an addiction, or relapses whike you are co-parenting, kick them out or remove the child. If the addict wasn't the other parent, leaving a baby with addict is prosecutable neglect. I don't understand why the exception is when the other parent is dangerous. Certainly that is more abusive to ensure the kid is in the home with an addict than simply leaving them with the addict temporarily. The child should be taken off both of them.
lauren hughes 1 year ago
I had a relationship where my partner got addicted to WOW. He eventually was playing every hour that he was home from work. Things breaking point on my birthday when he has promised to take me to dinner and the cinema. He procrastinated "getting ready" so that we missed our dinner booking. I begged him to still take me to the film. He led me on with promises ("5 more minutes" ect) then eventually sneaked back upstairs, got changed back onto casual clothes, and went back to game. I literally cried for hours. I felt so worthless that I couldn't make him spend time with me, even on my birthday. Good news is that gave me the courage to leave him though. He has no life now, games all day and virtually never leaves the house
Charity Angel 1 year ago
Well done for leaving him and protecting yourself. Neglect is a form of abuse, after all - whether it's being done on purpose or because of something like this. It isn't talked about enough. It's a shame it wasn't the wake up call for him that it could have been, though - he had an opportunity to realise what he had become, and wasted it.
Load More Replies...
Charity Angel 1 year ago
Not just "as" an addiction - it absolutely *is* an addiction. Society in general needs to accept and talk more about psychological addiction. We recognise that gambling can be an addiction - gaming is just the same.
Load More Replies... SlightlyTarnished 1 year ago
Whatever happened to growing up and taking responsibility? What the serious fück is wrong with some of the 20-30 somethings, even some in their 40's, more than normal have zero ambition other than what serves themselves. Don't know whether it's the parents, the culture of social media, whatever, but people need to mature and get some reality.
Elio 1 year ago
Video games can be as addictive for some people as d***s or alcohol. A lot of people in my family are addicted to the last two things.
Anonymous Otter 1 year ago
As someone who is married with a teen and has played video games all my life, y'all need to drop people like this. My husband and I have played together since before my son was born, we did raiding and pvp, neither of which can be paused. And when our son was born, we scaled back because baby ALWAYS comes first, and our online friends understood that. We still game with each other all the time, our son plays with his friends, and sometimes kiddo and I play together on the couch. But life and all that entails has to come first. Always, always, always. If these people are going to prioritize games over their own little babies, they need to go.
Lara Verne 1 year ago
I like video games and I sometimes spend a lot of time playing, but I don't have kids. If have children, you have to care for them. I can't imagine playing if I heard baby crying. Missing high score in your game won't kill you.
UpQuarkDownQuark (he/him) 1 year ago
Dear ladies, please stop having children with these manboys. Read these stories, learn from them. Kick these guys to curb if you want a family. If you still want to share an important life event with a toddler of a man, then be the one to bring him an ice pack for his sore, post-vasectomy balls.
talliloo 1 year ago
my son is a big gamer and he sometimes talks to me about gaming. in passing, he has mentioned that some of his buddies will stop to take care of the kids and since most of them are married with kids everyone just accepts it as part of being parent. this even goes for pets as a few of them have left games to take them for walks and such. there is nothing wrong with getting into a hobby but you have to stay in the real world as well.
QUINN SANE 1 year ago
What a bunch of losers. You can do better. Also, CPS should be called on the guy who almost let his daughter die because he didn’t want to lose a game meant for 10 year olds. He shouldn’t be allowed near his daughter. He’s a moron and a terrible human being.
Marsx Bars 1 year ago
I wouldn't abandon DBD for a task that can wait til after my match but if I had a child suffocating in front of me? Sorry to my other 3 teammates, you're gonna have to do gens and unhook each other without me
Steve Hall 1 year ago
If you can't grow up and put the games away, don't be surprised when the world passes youu by.
Tracy Sellars 1 year ago
Someone needs to remind this dude there is no gaming in jail. So maybe stop neglecting the kid.
_-DungeonKeeper-_ 1 year ago (edited)
I play a lot of video games and the only instances where I can't pause and turn off my game are that I'm playing Splatoon, in an important cutscene I can't see again, or playing Danganronpa and in the middle of a Hangman's Gambit or Logic Dive. Lemme just say, frik my Influence gauge, I would help my child.
James016 1 year ago
I love gaming as much as the next person but it has never taken over my life. The most I have ever done in a given time period was gaming weekends at a friend’s place. However I was single then back then. Since my gaming pc is 15 years old and doesn’t run so well these days. I don’t game nearly as much apart from mobile gaming but even that is sporadic.
Averysleepypanda 1 year ago (edited)
I lost respect for OP when she is more upset about him playing video games, than the fact her baby could have DIED. one word. Leave!
StrangeOne 1 year ago (edited)
There's a few different stories in there. It's not all one story. Just the way it's laid out seems they all blend together. She's very much concerned about the safety of her baby.
Load More Replies...
winterwidow87 1 year ago (edited)
I say this as a gamer and as someone who doesn't particularly like children: if your 4 month old is struggling for air and your answer instead of "omg is the baby ok?" is "i can't pause my game", there is something really deeply wrong with you. That level of disregard for human life (not to mention your own child) is definitely not normal and cannot simply be explained with addiction, i think the only solution is run and take the baby with you.
Kari Panda 1 year ago (edited)
Exactly. I don’t usually advocate for divorce/separation on these stories because we only know so little. But this scenario - the bf WILL get the baby hurt eventually, either by negligence or becoming violent if the kid is older and interrupts his game. This is non-negotiable - the moment you‘re a danger to your kid, you‘re out. And the whole "This is the first time that this happened“ - no, it’s the first time that she knows of.
Load More Replies... UpQuarkDownQuark (he/him) 1 year ago
I’d chuck the Switch straight in the toilet if my partner said something like to me in response to our child suffering. I don’t even have a child. I don’t even *like* children, but f*ck that guy. You bring a baby into the world, you change your f*cking priorities!
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
I'm always playing games, but I'm a shut-in with absolutely no social life other than Bored Panda. My mom comes to visit every few months, and I put the games down.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
So this couple has a 4 month old and the bf sleeps from 3am -2pm? What?! That's what struck me.
Sergio Bicerra 1 year ago
They're two different stories (3 in this post). Either way, s****y partners.
Load More Replies... Amelia Jade 1 year ago
We're a family of five and all gamers. As children of the 80s, the husband and I grew up in arcades, then moved to consoles, then to PC. We're both 50 this year and still game regularly--almost daily. We also have weekends where we'll get on a game together until the wee hours of the morning. Our kids have been gamers their entire lives. And yet, we've all held down jobs. Kids were great students, graduating in the top of their class. And we each have hobbies outside of gaming. We're very outdoorsy and live in an area great for hiking. It's possible to be a well rounded, responsible person and still be a gamer. If someone can't set aside their game to tend to real life, and to keep their child safe, something is seriously wrong.
Moosy Girl 1 year ago
It’s also possible to enjoy alcohol in a responsible and fun manner, except for alcoholics. It’s possible to have fun playing the lottery and spend an occasional sunday afternoon at the slot machine in your local arcade, except for a gambling addict. It’s possible to enjoy food and even make a family hobby out of trying new foods, except for people with food addiction or any other eating disorder. Etc.
Load More Replies... PattyK 1 year ago
The men in the three examples are addicts. Addicts rarely recognize there’s a problem, and since gaming involves no d***s or alcohol, they probably think it’s harmless. Their significant others can either find local support groups for families of addicts, leave the addicts, or let things continue the way they are.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
They are addicted to the dopamine effect from getting rewards and levelling up. This kind of addiction is really difficult to cut because they could quit video games, but then seek out the dopamine elsewhere, and that could be in the form of gambling, shoplifting, or something else. Some people just have addictive traits they need to work out the root cause of. Support groups for families... I don't know. Discussing how you feel about someone with an addiction doesn't help the addict. Best just to leave them to it.
Load More Replies... Miss Pierce 1 year ago
gamer mom of 2 here. whenever I have the kids alone I just play turn-based games, simple as that, when one of my kids (2 and 6) need me, I am there, no matter how the game is going, I can walk away and continue after I am done with the kids, sometimes it will even take a whole afternoon and we go into the night attending the kids, and that's ok. I know that the game will wait for me and I can continue at any point. My kids come first!
StrangeOne 1 year ago
I would've thrown him out and all his gaming stuff. We would be done. No second chances. No second risks of that happening again.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
I played an incredibly good game a couple of years ago, and I loved it so much that once I'd beaten it I began another playthrough. When I realised I was beginning to grow obsessed with it to the point that I kept dreaming about it, I went "okay, not good, back out now". So I stopped playing it. Obsession faded. As an autistic person I'm especially prone to this sort of thing, so I have to be careful.
Charity Angel 1 year ago
It's good that you are aware enough of yourself that you can do that. If only more people were as aware of their mental health and how to take care of themselves. Actually, if only *society* had that collective level of awareness of mental health, it would be a lot easier not only for people to recognise this as an issue, but be able to seek help when it happens.
Load More Replies... Ouss Ben Aziza 1 year ago
I am starting to think this is not a "gaming" problem... What kinda rational human picks those types of people?
Samsquatch & Monko 1 year ago
On the positive side my parents play games together and have fun so there’s that
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
Don't have a child with an addict who is not in recovery. If your partner develops an addiction, or relapses whike you are co-parenting, kick them out or remove the child. If the addict wasn't the other parent, leaving a baby with addict is prosecutable neglect. I don't understand why the exception is when the other parent is dangerous. Certainly that is more abusive to ensure the kid is in the home with an addict than simply leaving them with the addict temporarily. The child should be taken off both of them.
lauren hughes 1 year ago
I had a relationship where my partner got addicted to WOW. He eventually was playing every hour that he was home from work. Things breaking point on my birthday when he has promised to take me to dinner and the cinema. He procrastinated "getting ready" so that we missed our dinner booking. I begged him to still take me to the film. He led me on with promises ("5 more minutes" ect) then eventually sneaked back upstairs, got changed back onto casual clothes, and went back to game. I literally cried for hours. I felt so worthless that I couldn't make him spend time with me, even on my birthday. Good news is that gave me the courage to leave him though. He has no life now, games all day and virtually never leaves the house
Charity Angel 1 year ago
Well done for leaving him and protecting yourself. Neglect is a form of abuse, after all - whether it's being done on purpose or because of something like this. It isn't talked about enough. It's a shame it wasn't the wake up call for him that it could have been, though - he had an opportunity to realise what he had become, and wasted it.
Load More Replies... Charity Angel 1 year ago
Not just "as" an addiction - it absolutely *is* an addiction. Society in general needs to accept and talk more about psychological addiction. We recognise that gambling can be an addiction - gaming is just the same.
Load More Replies... SlightlyTarnished 1 year ago
Whatever happened to growing up and taking responsibility? What the serious fück is wrong with some of the 20-30 somethings, even some in their 40's, more than normal have zero ambition other than what serves themselves. Don't know whether it's the parents, the culture of social media, whatever, but people need to mature and get some reality.
Elio 1 year ago
Video games can be as addictive for some people as d***s or alcohol. A lot of people in my family are addicted to the last two things.
Anonymous Otter 1 year ago
As someone who is married with a teen and has played video games all my life, y'all need to drop people like this. My husband and I have played together since before my son was born, we did raiding and pvp, neither of which can be paused. And when our son was born, we scaled back because baby ALWAYS comes first, and our online friends understood that. We still game with each other all the time, our son plays with his friends, and sometimes kiddo and I play together on the couch. But life and all that entails has to come first. Always, always, always. If these people are going to prioritize games over their own little babies, they need to go.
Lara Verne 1 year ago
I like video games and I sometimes spend a lot of time playing, but I don't have kids. If have children, you have to care for them. I can't imagine playing if I heard baby crying. Missing high score in your game won't kill you.
UpQuarkDownQuark (he/him) 1 year ago
Dear ladies, please stop having children with these manboys. Read these stories, learn from them. Kick these guys to curb if you want a family. If you still want to share an important life event with a toddler of a man, then be the one to bring him an ice pack for his sore, post-vasectomy balls.
talliloo 1 year ago
my son is a big gamer and he sometimes talks to me about gaming. in passing, he has mentioned that some of his buddies will stop to take care of the kids and since most of them are married with kids everyone just accepts it as part of being parent. this even goes for pets as a few of them have left games to take them for walks and such. there is nothing wrong with getting into a hobby but you have to stay in the real world as well.
QUINN SANE 1 year ago
What a bunch of losers. You can do better. Also, CPS should be called on the guy who almost let his daughter die because he didn’t want to lose a game meant for 10 year olds. He shouldn’t be allowed near his daughter. He’s a moron and a terrible human being.
Marsx Bars 1 year ago
I wouldn't abandon DBD for a task that can wait til after my match but if I had a child suffocating in front of me? Sorry to my other 3 teammates, you're gonna have to do gens and unhook each other without me
Steve Hall 1 year ago
If you can't grow up and put the games away, don't be surprised when the world passes youu by.
Tracy Sellars 1 year ago
Someone needs to remind this dude there is no gaming in jail. So maybe stop neglecting the kid.
_-DungeonKeeper-_ 1 year ago (edited)
I play a lot of video games and the only instances where I can't pause and turn off my game are that I'm playing Splatoon, in an important cutscene I can't see again, or playing Danganronpa and in the middle of a Hangman's Gambit or Logic Dive. Lemme just say, frik my Influence gauge, I would help my child.
James016 1 year ago
I love gaming as much as the next person but it has never taken over my life. The most I have ever done in a given time period was gaming weekends at a friend’s place. However I was single then back then. Since my gaming pc is 15 years old and doesn’t run so well these days. I don’t game nearly as much apart from mobile gaming but even that is sporadic.
Averysleepypanda 1 year ago (edited)
I lost respect for OP when she is more upset about him playing video games, than the fact her baby could have DIED. one word. Leave!
StrangeOne 1 year ago (edited)
There's a few different stories in there. It's not all one story. Just the way it's laid out seems they all blend together. She's very much concerned about the safety of her baby.
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