Kids are full of paradoxes. They’re innocent and carefree, yet somehow, they seem to know a thing or two about life. There’s always something on the tip of that expert tongue. When the right moment comes—it strikes. Beware, parents, your days are numbered and you’re about to stand trial. Meet the judge—your heavenly child.

Let’s see how it turned out for these parents who shared the not-so-welcome opinions of their beloved bambinos in this Twitter thread.

After you’re done with this roasting session, pick up those parenting karma points from the floor and give yourself a confidence boost right here. To all the fellow parent pandas out there: like Dr. Phil says, this is a safe space to talk about hard things—share your experiences in the comments, so we can toast them!

#1

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

JujuHook Report

Demi Zwaan
Community Member
1 year ago

And here we see that homophobia is something people TEACH their kids. This kid doesn't think having two moms is weird or wrong, but just that since his mom forbids him things (and is obviously more strict than his dad), having two moms must mean you aren't allowed to do anything.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#2

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

UllaMeredith Report

Danish Dynomummy
Community Member
1 year ago

Ouch

View more comments
#3

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

kikuandjuju Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
1 year ago

ok. Thats adorable and one of the few here not shaming a woman for not being pretty without makeup

View More Replies...
View more comments

Bored Panda contacted Sean Duffy, an associate professor of psychology at Rutgers University, to find out why our little devils tend to point out very odd things. “We are all interested in some profound questions as to what it means to be—be being an important verb. But kids do ask the strangest questions: the universe, why does it exist? Will the sun die in my life time? Will our efforts to curb climate change really make a difference?” In fact, “children today are a lot more aware of the challenges of the future than previous generations”, says Sean Duffy. “Just imagine our fathers or grandfathers in the 1950s even considering climate change. They had their own challenges—communism, the Soviet Union—but they live in a different context than their grandparents in the 1960s.”

#4

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

Fes_Toy Report

Hans
Community Member
1 year ago

This is very unclever. Children perceive things differently. They see beaty where we are quick to judge "ugly". You should, thus, even more believe her words.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#5

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

aubreyhirsch Report

Max L.
Community Member
1 year ago

it happens with kids when talking to them in third person if they don't want to eat for example. You start telling things like who's going to eat this ? if you say mom several times he will assume is another person, not the one holding the spoon. Give it a few years and some other characters will show up in his chats

View more comments
#6

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

samcross47 Report

Petra Schaap
Community Member
1 year ago

hahaha omg

View more comments

Let your child discover their own challenges of existence. “Every parent must understand that they created in their children a new world. They had their own universe of morally ambiguous situations, whether it be the fall of the Berlin Wall or 9/11... every generation has to realize its own uncomfortable place in the order of things.”

It’s okay not to have the answers to all the things your child asks, because “there are no simple or easy answers to any of the myriad complex of unanswerable questions.” The professor explains that “we live in a universe of moral ambiguity and that our culture and society has provided only weak answers to existential questions.”

#7

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

Desha7 Report

Hans
Community Member
1 year ago

"Sort of..."

View more comments
#8

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

EhrlichLara Report

tuzdayschild
Community Member
1 year ago

Total love and acceptance. You can't ask for more than that.

View more comments
#9

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

doritos4dinner Report

Hans
Community Member
1 year ago

"Doritos for dinner"

View More Replies...
View more comments
#10

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

elphaba_wins Report

Hans
Community Member
1 year ago

"Don't tell mommy!"

View more comments
#11

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

twrobertsII Report

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
1 year ago

Savage....

View More Replies...
View more comments
#12

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

kueblerwolf Report

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
1 year ago

Age. son, age....

View More Replies...
View more comments
#13

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

andeesings Report

N G
Community Member
1 year ago

I still find this confusing, i make a mental note of hair style and colour. If it changes then i don't recognize them.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#14

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

solaana Report

Hans
Community Member
1 year ago

Right he is...

View More Replies...
View more comments
#15

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

Betsyberman Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
1 year ago

Was this the sign of an epic hangover?

View more comments
#16

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

theeisforerin Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
1 year ago

Some women at age 41 are already grandmas.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#17

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

AlisonLew Report

Carrot dude
Community Member
1 year ago

Oof, harsh.

View more comments
#18

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

BitterSappho Report

Daria B
Community Member
1 year ago

This one reminds me of my brother. I wasn't born yet, so it's a family story I know, not something I remember myself. Our mom always had elegant straight long hair, then she had to cut it for health and practical reasons. My brother, who was still a baby/ toddler couldn't recognize her for a good while.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#19

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

starsih Report

Rahul Eluri
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

View more comments
#20

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

brynadamson Report

Suzi Gauthier
Community Member
1 year ago

Sounds like when my mom would get on us to clean the house. We'd always ask, "Who's coming over?"

View More Replies...
View more comments
#21

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

faunzfaunzfaunz Report

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
1 year ago

Same... but a beard

View More Replies...
View more comments
See Also on Bored Panda
#22

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

blue_chelley Report

Cristian Hain
Community Member
1 year ago

I would love to be compared to Joaquin Phoenix

View More Replies...
View more comments
#23

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

ShamblesAndFuss Report

tuzdayschild
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

This has more to do with the fact that kids like consistency than her actual appearance. They'd like her either way as long as she always appeared the same way. I changed my hair and my nephew screamed "no!" when he first saw me.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#24

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

Sawoodard22 Report

#25

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

DuchessCle Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
1 year ago

I have a cat named Merida because she is brave. I lover her to bits

View More Replies...
View more comments
#26

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

LaurelFynes Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
1 year ago

Good students are learning to disregard "stereotypical" gender markers at an early age. We clearly start programing them young if kindergartners already think long hair=girl, short hair=boy

View More Replies...
View more comments
#27

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

lipbalmy Report

Lou Herout
Community Member
1 year ago

ooooooommmph....

View more comments
#28

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

woodsinkcom Report

Naomi Wayker
Community Member
1 year ago

oodpf

View more comments
#29

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

_CFierroLopez_ Report

Bukky Olaneye
Community Member
1 year ago

Your mum,of course.

View more comments
#30

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

bethnew Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
1 year ago

At least she liked it.

View more comments
#31

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

bbmiller372 Report

Alex K
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

so, you get offended when someone asks too , now?

View More Replies...
View more comments
See Also on Bored Panda
#32

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

amyfigarelle Report

Rick
Community Member
1 year ago

The first couple of times I read this I thought she was trying to pass off that her kindergarten-aged son was saying these things to and about her because of the “speech” marks!

View more comments
#33

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

JulieZwillich Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
1 year ago

I can understand they left their son with the babysitter but why did she have to emphasize that he was crying as if this was somehow funny?

View More Replies...
View more comments