“Looked At Me Puzzled”: Parents Aghast After Babysitter Confesses To Having A Few Slices Of Pizza
When you’re a babysitter, you have to be very adaptable. That is because you are often entering someone else’s space with its own rules that you have to obey. You are also looking after someone else’s children and need to tailor your approach to cater to the specific parenting style.
However, no matter how adaptable you are, issues are bound to arise here and there. Miscommunications and misunderstandings are sometimes simply unavoidable.
In this situation, the miscommunication was about food. Scroll down to read why the babysitter thought she might have been in the wrong, and if the Am I the [Jerk] community agreed.
The key to success for any babysitter is their ability to communicate well with both the kids and the parents
Image credits: sofiiashunkina (not the actual image)
However, no matter how good you are at your job, miscommunications are bound to occur from time to time. This is exactly what happened in the following story
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual image)
Image credits: u/Wrong_Net_5989
There should have been clearer communication between the parents and the babysitter
It is completely reasonable for the parents to not want their babysitters rummaging through their fridge or pantry. If they feel like their food is off limits, it is their own personal boundary to draw.
However, in this situation, the parents should have communicated that. After all, they knew the babysitter was staying at their place for more than a couple hours, so it was fair to believe she was going get hungry eventually.
On the other hand, assuming you could eat the food can also come off as rude. So, if they didn’t clarify the rules, the next thing the sitter needs to do is to check in with the parents about their preferences.
Communicating your expectations and being kind is always the way to go
If the family food is not to be touched, parents might want to provide some babysitter-only food. That could be snacks, pre-made meals they can heat up, or extra cash to order something in. They can also ask the sitter to bring their own food—that is not an uncommon ask, and there’s nothing wrong with it.
Whatever the preference, just like with any other rule of the house, communicate it and follow it. And if there is something that’s unclear, do not assume what might be the way to go. It is always better to ask instead.
Many showed support for the babysitter’s actions
Others thought she had crossed the line
Those saying OP is TA have obviously never babysat in their lives. If the babysitter is expected to feed the children then she should be eating too. And the parents should always provide food or snacks for the babysitter. Soon enough they won't have anyone watching their crotch goblins if they keep up the entitled c**p.
For real. I babysat a little bit and the parents were like, "here's the leftovers, here's the pantry, here's the fresh fruit, and here's all the microwavable frozen food." These parents are unreasonable and cheap and so are all the people who are going on about OP being an employee. Guess what a******s, employees are legally entitled to breaks and lunch/dinner.
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People cannot seriously be equating babysitting to a 9 to 5 job. Employee theft?
She's taking care of there children for a evening show some gratitude mom and dad..it's two slices of pizza. Petty people, I wouldn't work for them again. Do they count toilet paper squares too?
If they want to equate this with a ‘job’ then I’m sure those people are paying sitters at least minimum wage, social security and Medicare taxes, sending them a 1099, etc., right?
Exactly. It's not a job in that sense, and many normal job rules do not apply. You wanna treat it like a job, then I would like to see a full health and safety write up of your house, and have a contract that we follow to the letter!
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Imagine the children and the babysitter sitting down and sharing a meal together. Why, they might even chat during dinner. The horror! Far better that the very hungry babysitter stand over the kids so they're properly uncomfortable while eating.
Especially with her stomach growling for extra points.
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YTA people need to chill. I've never had issues with this and have worked for many families (nanny and baby sitting). Did I gorge myself on their food? No. Did eat with the kids and maybe had a little dessert when the kids went to bed? Yes. At least Midwest culture is ‘help yourself to whatever’ and then be respectful about how much and what you eat.
She was respectful of how much she ate. The kids had as much as they wanted and there were even leftovers. She only had 2 slices and 1 breadstick. She didn't 'gorge' herself. She was also respectful of what she ate. She didn't take anything from the fridge or pantry. She only had what the kids had. You admit to doing the exact same thing. Why are you calling her TA?
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If you don't expect your babysitter to eat with your kids when they are feeding them, there's something wrong with you. If that is the expectation, then babysitter should be told to bring their own food ahead of time. YTA people are crazy!
2 pieces and a breadstick? The YTA are the A$$4oles. Guarantee they dont have kids and are cheap, petty pricks. It would be stealing if she ordered a $5 pizza and kept the rest of the money. Treating the person caring for your children like ish screams they have no character.
Wtf are those people telling her that she js stealing? Seriously? They have some twisted idea over what a babysitter is and does. Amy and all of our babysitters were always told that they could help themselves to anything in the kitchen, just to jot it down on the shopping list (we have a whiteboard to note down all food shopping we need), if they finished any item. ...... Babysitting isn't a recognised employable role anyway, with set wages/benefits. Its a favour for a family with children, in exchange for payment..be that in money or food. If you trust someone enough to watch your children, you should also trust them enough to know that they may need sustenance during that time. Caring for children can be challenging!
Wow I can’t believe people say she’s TA! Whenever I used to babysit it was always encouraged to help myself!! Moreover, I used to house sit for multiple people, in multiple towns, and same thing, most the times people would purposely stock up on items specifically for me (I don’t eat meat so they’d go out of their way to provide options), I can’t imagine someone being upset by her having FOOD. It’s food, a necessity!! Like how are you supposed to be your best self if you’re hungry? Do they expect her to pack a lunch when she’s there during an obvious meal time?? Seriously, I feel so bad for her, for them to shame a young person for eating the bare minimum, it’s crazy rude behavior. I bet these are the same people who don’t think they need to make a pot of coffee when someone stops by…
Same! We have a great girl who pet/house sits for us when we go on vacation, or if we have a long day out of town (our lil pup has separation anxiety). Before we leave on vacation, I have her write a list of any food and drinks she'll need while she's there, there's not enough we can do for someone we trust in our home and with our pets. I can't imagine the parents here valuing money over a good babysitter.
Load More Replies... I can't conceive of someone being barred from eating when they are feeding my kids in my home, it's just plain rude not to include them. They are not servants or slaves. All the UTA comments bother me, they intrinsically view a fellow human being as being somehow lesser and find it perfectly okay to have them hungry and salivating in front of what is plenty of food for everyone. My heart can't imagine putting anyone through something like that.
I can't imagine barring ANYONE who is a guest in my home from eating! I'll let people know that I keep some well-known allergens (like peanuts and tree nuts) or ask if they have any special needs or preferences, but otherwise, you're my guest, it's my responsibility to feed you!
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Here's my take on this. Babysitting isn't just a job. When you hire a babysitter, you are hiring someone to be friendly to your kids and care for them when you're away. These kids develop an attachment to the babysitter, and treat her as a friend or another parent. So, here's the question. If your kid had a friend over, would you have your kids eat and not the friend?
They're probably the type of family that would eat IN FRONT of another kid but tell them no they can't eat.
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All of the YTA people are probably as petty, cheaper and greedy as the parents OP babysat for. It's not like babysitting comes with employment benefits right? When you have someone over doing you the huge favour to be willing to look after your kids, even if you pay them, you show your most hospitable skills and make sure they feel comfortable and welcome. You're kids are watching how you treat others.
Right like babysitters get legal work breaks, OT, accrued vacation days, SS benefits, etc. By the kid some pizza you cheap, basic jack...
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I thin I would have accepted 1 more job, and showed up with a meal, beverages, my own table and chair, water, shoe covers, gloves, a permission slip to use their toilet, toilet paper, and hand sanitizer. When I babysat, I had parents upset I didn't fix myself a meal and that I washed up afterwards .
Right. Just show them how petty they are. Provide them with an itemized deduction list for electricity, wear and tear on the couch. Etc. TF is wrong with people. They think they live at Buckingham palace and their children are titled royalty? Downton Abbey? Ha ha ha you're basic.
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Beyond babysitting, in decades of marriage, we’ve never been serving food and told someone there they can’t eat. If they are in our home, they get treated like a human. Even ask repair guys if they want a beer.
I've done that my whole life, when I've lived with my folks and when I've lived on my own. Someone comes into my house, I offer them hospitality. That's just good manners.
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Those cheapskates saying YTA have unhappy sitters. Food = happy baby sitter. Happy baby sitter = happy kids. Get it, tightwads?
When I babysat as a teen, I was told specifically to eat with the kids. They also told me not to eat more than one of XYZ snacks because they're for lunches, please help yourself to the bowl of old Halloween candy on the fridge just don't eat it in front of the kids, etc. I'm paranoid, so I'd prolly ask "hey is it okay if I eat some pizza?" But that's just me. I certainly wouldn't expect somebody babysitting for me NOT to eat!
The YTA people are the type who would go to lunch with you, then send you a Venmo request of $0.25 because you ate the last mozzarella stick they said they didn't want.
Oh please, there were leftovers even after she ate 🙄. I'd just never sit for them again. The YTA people need to calm down.
Omg, that’s entitled AF! So, what if the babysitter happened to have low blood glucose … do they expect her to wait until they’re home before she goes into hypoglycaemic crisis, FFS?? If they don’t want the babysitter “eating THEIR food”, it’s their duty to tell the her to bring her own food/drink along & give her enough notice beforehand to do so (or at least give some money to get her own food). Otherwise, they can’t expect her to watch their kids with nothing to conserve energy levels for that time-period, unless they are okay with poor quality care. Honestly, though? They’re being insanely petty, so blatantly greedy & setting a terrible example for their kids; basically teaching them to never show any compassion or treat anyone hired to provide a service with dignity. Make sure to bring a bag of food/drink next time … then pack some VERY tasty stuff, refuse to share & say the parents won’t let you eat, so this is yours alone (& watch the parents face up to their bad choices). 🤷♀️🙄
Everyone saying you're not paying to feed the babysitter. Get a flipping hold of yourselves. Bring your own food? Next yougoing to say charge them for the electricty needed for running the microwave. No a sitter isnt allowed to raid your fridge, but having a meal with your kids. Uh yes that is included. As if sitters get regulated work breaks. They dont. Just feed the damn sitter you cheap m**o's.
If there were left overs, the value of 2 slices of pizza is negligeable, come on. I can only think that this might be something to be cleared upfront. There are not that many alternatives, she has to eat and will not bring her own food (here you go kids, eat your brocoli while i'm enjoying my burger king)
Anybody who said yta, I would avoid doing any business with them at all. The ones without class are the ones that stab you in the front and the back.
Do these people who are saying she's TA have any idea what a gift it is to have a babysitter you trust and your kids like? Most parents go out of their way to show their appreciation for a good babysitter and letting them eat what the kids are eating is one way of doing that. Plus, a lot of kids like to share their food. How would they feel knowing that they can't even offer their babysitter a piece of pizza because their parents consider it stealing?
I'm confused by the YTA comments. As a parent, I'd just assume the sitter will eat whatever I provide for the kids or, if they can't or don't want to eat it, I just say they're welcome to any food in my house. Eating what my kids eat or making whatever they want from my groceries just seems like a perk for the sitter.
Take them at their word. Order and pay for your own food - and raise your fee to cover it.
Wow….I guess I’ve been a little thief since I was 15. I regularly babysat for certain families throughout all high school (small town USA). I was always invited to eat the same food I made for the kids OR make myself so thing else with what they had in the house. I would want my babysitter to be happy and comfortable in my home and that would include eating meals with the kids, snacking during a movie, or treats at the park.
That is so odd, if I needed a babysitter I wouldn't have any problem with them eating whatever was ordered. We have a cleaner that comes in once a month and I showed here where all the food and drinks are so she can grab whatever she wants.
YTA people have any of you ever babysat a day in your life? The custom is for babysitters to come over, take care of the kids, feed them, and eat with them, have a conversation and be a person with them. If you she can't even share a meal with the kids then there is something very wrong with tgis family. Truly, you should never babysit for these people again. Not only did they get upset when you ate a meal with the children, but this was after the fact. They didn't tell you ahead of time. These are people that find joy in creating mistakes that others have committed that don't actually exist. They will find other things you've done and at some point probably decide not to pay you or get you in trouble in someway.
I always offer the babysitters to share diner with the kids. Some do, some don´t. But the possibility is there. Those with intolerances are taken into account etc... Weird move from the parents
Maybe the were planning on feeding the kids leftover pizza for the rest of the week. Either way, it is their problem not yours...NTA!
I babysat for decades and I can honestly say that every single one allowed food to be eaten by the babysitter, most times snacks they specifically provided for me. I don't see any of this as stealing... that's a stretch for met. It was eating food that was provided and I'd think nothing of having a slice or 2. NEVER encountered this "don't eat our food" nonsense. We always provided food for our babysitters... it can be a long visit, why not offer food. Nothing extravagant but snacks at least.
Okay, I may regret asking this...but what's an "upper decker"?
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I don't see what's a big deal if you help yourself with a it of food while babysitting. I certainly wouldn't make a scene over two slices of pizza But all people are different, you can't predict how somebody is going to react to you eating their food, so next time don't overshare with your employers, they aren't your friends.
I think it's smart she told them. If they'd found out from the kids later on, she'd have gotten a nasty phone call.
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I've never babysat, but comparing it to working in a restaurant or grocery store is absurd. You know what's rude? Having someone in your house, for hours, expecting them to watch over your kids, and not offering them something to eat or drink. She may be an employee, but she's also a guest. And when it's in your own home, you treat your guests with courtesy whether you're paying them to be there or not. And to have them, as a guest, server your family food but expect them sit there, smelling it, watching your family eat but not join? That's an extremely high level of rudeness.
Who TF doesn't offer someone in their home food or drink anyhow? Nobody steps into my house without being offered hospitality unless they've barged in knowing they're not welcome (OK that happened once, and technically the guy broke in... if I'd known he just was hungry, I'd have fed him, but I was a physically ill woman home alone and he was a huge, intoxicated man. I had to call the police for my own safety). There's an encampment nearby, and sometimes people get into our yard. Even then, my dad goes out and offers them food. He doesn't let me go, which I find sexist, but I get it's a safety thing too.
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To those who called her TA, may they never find babysitters ever again.
I'll go further. May they never get to do anything that might occasion the need for a babysiter in the future.
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I feel that a slice or two of a delivered pizza is more than acceptable, especially if it isn't a personal sized pie. I think that pizza is generally considered a social food, and I'm surprised the topic of eating hasn't come up because there are some mild variances between households. It really just depends. For example, maybe they hadn't ordered pizza in a while, so there would be a special circumstance at play.
Pizza is a pretty normal thing to feed a babysitter. Even when my cousin's kids were on bottles and pablum, he ordered a pizza for me when I sat for him. EVERYONE feeds the babysitter.
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It is actually a good practice to have the caregiver eat with the kids. It improves social-emotional co-regulation. Kids tend to eat at a better pace (not too fast, not too slow), when accompanied. They also practice their manners, and engage in the give and take of social conversation. Furthermore, if you tell your children that the babysitter cannot accompany them in their meal because the sitter is not entitled to the food, you set up a power dynamic where the children see the sitter as "less-than". They will be less likely to listen to and respect the sitter, especially if the sitter needs to steer the children out of dangerous or unhealthy situations.
Dinner was a given, you're the goddamn babysitter on duty. Did they f**k you over on the pay rate too?! This is ridiculous, they should be embarrassed for acting like that. You did nothing wrong and, no offense, if you actually babysit for them again, then you're an a*****e ... purely to yourself - you're better than that.
I was one of many babysitters once in a babysitting situation for teachers during a workshop. The school district supplied food for the children AND us babysitters. No one made a big deal over how much we ate and we still got paid very well for it.
I've never babysat, never been babysat, and I don't have kids...and even I would assume that the babysitter would be welcome to eat some pizza in this situation (obviously unless something was specified beforehand). If you're really hurting for money, then inform the babysitter to bring their own food/snacks. Otherwise it's weird to expect them to feed the kids dinner and then fend for themselves. If I were a parent, I'd rather all the sitter's focus to be on the kids and not have them trying to cook or having to order something just for themselves. It's not like this sitter bought a whole meal for themselves, they ate some pizza and bread, FFS.
Easy solution to this is to simply not think about it anymore and never babysit for them again. Do people really let stuff like this eat at them or is it nothing more than an artifact of AITA sites existing?
She's 20. This is probably the first time something like this has happened. No wonder it was upsetting. The parents probably pulled that c**p because she's young and they figured they could get away with it. A 40-year-old babysitter with more experience in life would have called them on their BS.
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NTA. If you are babysitting at dinner time, the family feeds you. That is normal. Period.
They're just selfish people. So she made a mistake by assuming that she could have some pizza too. She's used to others being kind and ok with it. They're just teaching their children to be greedy. You people saying she's TA are just as bad. It's a few pieces of pizza. Get over it.
When I used to babysit the parents would almost always tell me to help myself to anything in the kitchen. I did the same when my kids had babysitters. I would most certainly expect the sitter to share a pizza. When I lived overseas, I babysat for an Italian family. The dad spoke eniglish, the mom didn't. She would prepare these amazing dinners for me before they'd go out. He'd pick me up bring me to the house, and she would still be cooking. Then she'd sit me down put a plate in front of me, and then go get ready for their night out. And she'd always send me home with a container of leftovers. I can't even fathom telling a babysitter they can't eat dinner.
NTA.. maybe it's because it's been almost 40years since I babysat, but every parent who has had me babysitting for them has always allowed me to eat if they ordered out OR told me what I could eat in their pantry... has so much changed with babysitting in this time? Other than the cost of babysitting I mean.
Those parents are nuts. Someone like them suggested, that the personnel in old age homes should not be allowed to eat with the patients. To save money of course, but they didn't take into account, that if the nurses didn't eat with them the patiens wouldn't eat either. Thereby costing society much more money, when they got sick. I think these children wouldn't have eaten much if their babysitter had just sat there looking at them. I couldn't have.
Damn. I used to work for a couple of daycares in my mid-large city and we all babysat on the side back in the day. Not a single one of the Richie rich parents would dream of not allowing us to eat a bit of their food while we babysat. We're taking care of your kids for God's sake, a piece of pizza or two is not a bank breaker. Hell, not a single one of the daycares's wouldn't have fed us either. I had chicken nuggets and apple slices as a lunch for years. As a matter of fact my spouse currently works for a daycare and eats the same things as the kids after they've all been fed. It's just part of the job.
When I babysat as a teenager, I was always told to help myself to anything in the fridge or cupboards, and to partake of the kids pizza, popcorn or snacks they had while watching a movie or whatever. I ate if I was hungry but never took advantage. There was never a problem with it.
I truly shocked at how many people went with YTA. I guess maybe babysitters should start asking for tips now then, instead? What a joke! U ALWAYS feed the babysitter! And how much could 2 pieces and a breadstick REALLY cost?! It's a "side gig" and not a 9-5 like they r implying with their "the parents r the employers" OP is SO NTA!
The YTA people are TA here as well as the parents. How cheap can one be? I have never babysat for such tightwads. If you don't value the person you choose to watch your children, you don't deserve a good babysitter. Also, what kind of example are you setting for your children if you think it's okay for them to eat while the carer cannot? What's next? An itemized bill with kilowatt hours for heating, lights, TV usage... after the children are in bed since the kids aren't using that electricity? NTA and don't work for them again. You deserve better than that.
Wtf you always let the babysitter eat, I always tell them They can have whatever they want. What is wrong with people.
I cannot believe the YTAs. I started babysitting at age 11 (normal back then). I ALWAYS ate along with the kids. Even if it wasn't mealtime, the parents would show me where to access snacks if I wanted. My cousin always ordered me a pizza even when his kids were on bottles. Same for when I was a kid and had babysitters. It's just understood; you feed the person who comes into your house to care for your kids. If those parents are so cheap and entitled, they won't be finding a decent sitter anywhere.
It's always been my assumption that my babysitter should be allowed to eat (I always made sure there were snacks) and if I'd ordered pizza, f*ck yeah I'd expect her to have some. I was taught that you always offer service workers (cable guy, contractor, etc.) something to eat or a beverage. I have always done so. Mostly they seem surprised and almost always decline. But my contractor, Robert, has a real soft spot for my homemade chocolate chip & walnut cookies.
I always fed my kids before the babysitter arrived, but when the babysitter did arrived, I showed her where she could find drinks and snacks and told her to help herself! However in the OPs shoes I probably wouldn't have eaten the pizza but I don't think they are the AH for doing so. And the parents' reaction was very OTT.
Clearly by the YTA comments, there are plenty of tight scroogey a******s out there inventorying the pantries and going off on their sitters
Load More Replies... Those saying OP is TA have obviously never babysat in their lives. If the babysitter is expected to feed the children then she should be eating too. And the parents should always provide food or snacks for the babysitter. Soon enough they won't have anyone watching their crotch goblins if they keep up the entitled c**p.
For real. I babysat a little bit and the parents were like, "here's the leftovers, here's the pantry, here's the fresh fruit, and here's all the microwavable frozen food." These parents are unreasonable and cheap and so are all the people who are going on about OP being an employee. Guess what a******s, employees are legally entitled to breaks and lunch/dinner.
Load More Replies... People cannot seriously be equating babysitting to a 9 to 5 job. Employee theft?
She's taking care of there children for a evening show some gratitude mom and dad..it's two slices of pizza. Petty people, I wouldn't work for them again. Do they count toilet paper squares too?
If they want to equate this with a ‘job’ then I’m sure those people are paying sitters at least minimum wage, social security and Medicare taxes, sending them a 1099, etc., right?
Exactly. It's not a job in that sense, and many normal job rules do not apply. You wanna treat it like a job, then I would like to see a full health and safety write up of your house, and have a contract that we follow to the letter!
Load More Replies... Imagine the children and the babysitter sitting down and sharing a meal together. Why, they might even chat during dinner. The horror! Far better that the very hungry babysitter stand over the kids so they're properly uncomfortable while eating.
Especially with her stomach growling for extra points.
Load More Replies... YTA people need to chill. I've never had issues with this and have worked for many families (nanny and baby sitting). Did I gorge myself on their food? No. Did eat with the kids and maybe had a little dessert when the kids went to bed? Yes. At least Midwest culture is ‘help yourself to whatever’ and then be respectful about how much and what you eat.
She was respectful of how much she ate. The kids had as much as they wanted and there were even leftovers. She only had 2 slices and 1 breadstick. She didn't 'gorge' herself. She was also respectful of what she ate. She didn't take anything from the fridge or pantry. She only had what the kids had. You admit to doing the exact same thing. Why are you calling her TA?
Load More Replies... If you don't expect your babysitter to eat with your kids when they are feeding them, there's something wrong with you. If that is the expectation, then babysitter should be told to bring their own food ahead of time. YTA people are crazy!
2 pieces and a breadstick? The YTA are the A$$4oles. Guarantee they dont have kids and are cheap, petty pricks. It would be stealing if she ordered a $5 pizza and kept the rest of the money. Treating the person caring for your children like ish screams they have no character.
Wtf are those people telling her that she js stealing? Seriously? They have some twisted idea over what a babysitter is and does. Amy and all of our babysitters were always told that they could help themselves to anything in the kitchen, just to jot it down on the shopping list (we have a whiteboard to note down all food shopping we need), if they finished any item. ...... Babysitting isn't a recognised employable role anyway, with set wages/benefits. Its a favour for a family with children, in exchange for payment..be that in money or food. If you trust someone enough to watch your children, you should also trust them enough to know that they may need sustenance during that time. Caring for children can be challenging!
Wow I can’t believe people say she’s TA! Whenever I used to babysit it was always encouraged to help myself!! Moreover, I used to house sit for multiple people, in multiple towns, and same thing, most the times people would purposely stock up on items specifically for me (I don’t eat meat so they’d go out of their way to provide options), I can’t imagine someone being upset by her having FOOD. It’s food, a necessity!! Like how are you supposed to be your best self if you’re hungry? Do they expect her to pack a lunch when she’s there during an obvious meal time?? Seriously, I feel so bad for her, for them to shame a young person for eating the bare minimum, it’s crazy rude behavior. I bet these are the same people who don’t think they need to make a pot of coffee when someone stops by…
Same! We have a great girl who pet/house sits for us when we go on vacation, or if we have a long day out of town (our lil pup has separation anxiety). Before we leave on vacation, I have her write a list of any food and drinks she'll need while she's there, there's not enough we can do for someone we trust in our home and with our pets. I can't imagine the parents here valuing money over a good babysitter.
Load More Replies... I can't conceive of someone being barred from eating when they are feeding my kids in my home, it's just plain rude not to include them. They are not servants or slaves. All the UTA comments bother me, they intrinsically view a fellow human being as being somehow lesser and find it perfectly okay to have them hungry and salivating in front of what is plenty of food for everyone. My heart can't imagine putting anyone through something like that.
I can't imagine barring ANYONE who is a guest in my home from eating! I'll let people know that I keep some well-known allergens (like peanuts and tree nuts) or ask if they have any special needs or preferences, but otherwise, you're my guest, it's my responsibility to feed you!
Load More Replies... Here's my take on this. Babysitting isn't just a job. When you hire a babysitter, you are hiring someone to be friendly to your kids and care for them when you're away. These kids develop an attachment to the babysitter, and treat her as a friend or another parent. So, here's the question. If your kid had a friend over, would you have your kids eat and not the friend?
They're probably the type of family that would eat IN FRONT of another kid but tell them no they can't eat.
Load More Replies... All of the YTA people are probably as petty, cheaper and greedy as the parents OP babysat for. It's not like babysitting comes with employment benefits right? When you have someone over doing you the huge favour to be willing to look after your kids, even if you pay them, you show your most hospitable skills and make sure they feel comfortable and welcome. You're kids are watching how you treat others.
Right like babysitters get legal work breaks, OT, accrued vacation days, SS benefits, etc. By the kid some pizza you cheap, basic jack...
Load More Replies... I thin I would have accepted 1 more job, and showed up with a meal, beverages, my own table and chair, water, shoe covers, gloves, a permission slip to use their toilet, toilet paper, and hand sanitizer. When I babysat, I had parents upset I didn't fix myself a meal and that I washed up afterwards .
Right. Just show them how petty they are. Provide them with an itemized deduction list for electricity, wear and tear on the couch. Etc. TF is wrong with people. They think they live at Buckingham palace and their children are titled royalty? Downton Abbey? Ha ha ha you're basic.
Load More Replies... Beyond babysitting, in decades of marriage, we’ve never been serving food and told someone there they can’t eat. If they are in our home, they get treated like a human. Even ask repair guys if they want a beer.
I've done that my whole life, when I've lived with my folks and when I've lived on my own. Someone comes into my house, I offer them hospitality. That's just good manners.
Load More Replies... Those cheapskates saying YTA have unhappy sitters. Food = happy baby sitter. Happy baby sitter = happy kids. Get it, tightwads?
When I babysat as a teen, I was told specifically to eat with the kids. They also told me not to eat more than one of XYZ snacks because they're for lunches, please help yourself to the bowl of old Halloween candy on the fridge just don't eat it in front of the kids, etc. I'm paranoid, so I'd prolly ask "hey is it okay if I eat some pizza?" But that's just me. I certainly wouldn't expect somebody babysitting for me NOT to eat!
The YTA people are the type who would go to lunch with you, then send you a Venmo request of $0.25 because you ate the last mozzarella stick they said they didn't want.
Oh please, there were leftovers even after she ate 🙄. I'd just never sit for them again. The YTA people need to calm down.
Omg, that’s entitled AF! So, what if the babysitter happened to have low blood glucose … do they expect her to wait until they’re home before she goes into hypoglycaemic crisis, FFS?? If they don’t want the babysitter “eating THEIR food”, it’s their duty to tell the her to bring her own food/drink along & give her enough notice beforehand to do so (or at least give some money to get her own food). Otherwise, they can’t expect her to watch their kids with nothing to conserve energy levels for that time-period, unless they are okay with poor quality care. Honestly, though? They’re being insanely petty, so blatantly greedy & setting a terrible example for their kids; basically teaching them to never show any compassion or treat anyone hired to provide a service with dignity. Make sure to bring a bag of food/drink next time … then pack some VERY tasty stuff, refuse to share & say the parents won’t let you eat, so this is yours alone (& watch the parents face up to their bad choices). 🤷♀️🙄
Everyone saying you're not paying to feed the babysitter. Get a flipping hold of yourselves. Bring your own food? Next yougoing to say charge them for the electricty needed for running the microwave. No a sitter isnt allowed to raid your fridge, but having a meal with your kids. Uh yes that is included. As if sitters get regulated work breaks. They dont. Just feed the damn sitter you cheap m**o's.
If there were left overs, the value of 2 slices of pizza is negligeable, come on. I can only think that this might be something to be cleared upfront. There are not that many alternatives, she has to eat and will not bring her own food (here you go kids, eat your brocoli while i'm enjoying my burger king)
Anybody who said yta, I would avoid doing any business with them at all. The ones without class are the ones that stab you in the front and the back.
Do these people who are saying she's TA have any idea what a gift it is to have a babysitter you trust and your kids like? Most parents go out of their way to show their appreciation for a good babysitter and letting them eat what the kids are eating is one way of doing that. Plus, a lot of kids like to share their food. How would they feel knowing that they can't even offer their babysitter a piece of pizza because their parents consider it stealing?
I'm confused by the YTA comments. As a parent, I'd just assume the sitter will eat whatever I provide for the kids or, if they can't or don't want to eat it, I just say they're welcome to any food in my house. Eating what my kids eat or making whatever they want from my groceries just seems like a perk for the sitter.
Take them at their word. Order and pay for your own food - and raise your fee to cover it.
Wow….I guess I’ve been a little thief since I was 15. I regularly babysat for certain families throughout all high school (small town USA). I was always invited to eat the same food I made for the kids OR make myself so thing else with what they had in the house. I would want my babysitter to be happy and comfortable in my home and that would include eating meals with the kids, snacking during a movie, or treats at the park.
That is so odd, if I needed a babysitter I wouldn't have any problem with them eating whatever was ordered. We have a cleaner that comes in once a month and I showed here where all the food and drinks are so she can grab whatever she wants.
YTA people have any of you ever babysat a day in your life? The custom is for babysitters to come over, take care of the kids, feed them, and eat with them, have a conversation and be a person with them. If you she can't even share a meal with the kids then there is something very wrong with tgis family. Truly, you should never babysit for these people again. Not only did they get upset when you ate a meal with the children, but this was after the fact. They didn't tell you ahead of time. These are people that find joy in creating mistakes that others have committed that don't actually exist. They will find other things you've done and at some point probably decide not to pay you or get you in trouble in someway.
I always offer the babysitters to share diner with the kids. Some do, some don´t. But the possibility is there. Those with intolerances are taken into account etc... Weird move from the parents
Maybe the were planning on feeding the kids leftover pizza for the rest of the week. Either way, it is their problem not yours...NTA!
I babysat for decades and I can honestly say that every single one allowed food to be eaten by the babysitter, most times snacks they specifically provided for me. I don't see any of this as stealing... that's a stretch for met. It was eating food that was provided and I'd think nothing of having a slice or 2. NEVER encountered this "don't eat our food" nonsense. We always provided food for our babysitters... it can be a long visit, why not offer food. Nothing extravagant but snacks at least.
Okay, I may regret asking this...but what's an "upper decker"?
Load More Replies... I don't see what's a big deal if you help yourself with a it of food while babysitting. I certainly wouldn't make a scene over two slices of pizza But all people are different, you can't predict how somebody is going to react to you eating their food, so next time don't overshare with your employers, they aren't your friends.
I think it's smart she told them. If they'd found out from the kids later on, she'd have gotten a nasty phone call.
Load More Replies... I've never babysat, but comparing it to working in a restaurant or grocery store is absurd. You know what's rude? Having someone in your house, for hours, expecting them to watch over your kids, and not offering them something to eat or drink. She may be an employee, but she's also a guest. And when it's in your own home, you treat your guests with courtesy whether you're paying them to be there or not. And to have them, as a guest, server your family food but expect them sit there, smelling it, watching your family eat but not join? That's an extremely high level of rudeness.
Who TF doesn't offer someone in their home food or drink anyhow? Nobody steps into my house without being offered hospitality unless they've barged in knowing they're not welcome (OK that happened once, and technically the guy broke in... if I'd known he just was hungry, I'd have fed him, but I was a physically ill woman home alone and he was a huge, intoxicated man. I had to call the police for my own safety). There's an encampment nearby, and sometimes people get into our yard. Even then, my dad goes out and offers them food. He doesn't let me go, which I find sexist, but I get it's a safety thing too.
Load More Replies... To those who called her TA, may they never find babysitters ever again.
I'll go further. May they never get to do anything that might occasion the need for a babysiter in the future.
Load More Replies... I feel that a slice or two of a delivered pizza is more than acceptable, especially if it isn't a personal sized pie. I think that pizza is generally considered a social food, and I'm surprised the topic of eating hasn't come up because there are some mild variances between households. It really just depends. For example, maybe they hadn't ordered pizza in a while, so there would be a special circumstance at play.
Pizza is a pretty normal thing to feed a babysitter. Even when my cousin's kids were on bottles and pablum, he ordered a pizza for me when I sat for him. EVERYONE feeds the babysitter.
Load More Replies... It is actually a good practice to have the caregiver eat with the kids. It improves social-emotional co-regulation. Kids tend to eat at a better pace (not too fast, not too slow), when accompanied. They also practice their manners, and engage in the give and take of social conversation. Furthermore, if you tell your children that the babysitter cannot accompany them in their meal because the sitter is not entitled to the food, you set up a power dynamic where the children see the sitter as "less-than". They will be less likely to listen to and respect the sitter, especially if the sitter needs to steer the children out of dangerous or unhealthy situations.
Dinner was a given, you're the goddamn babysitter on duty. Did they f**k you over on the pay rate too?! This is ridiculous, they should be embarrassed for acting like that. You did nothing wrong and, no offense, if you actually babysit for them again, then you're an a*****e ... purely to yourself - you're better than that.
I was one of many babysitters once in a babysitting situation for teachers during a workshop. The school district supplied food for the children AND us babysitters. No one made a big deal over how much we ate and we still got paid very well for it.
I've never babysat, never been babysat, and I don't have kids...and even I would assume that the babysitter would be welcome to eat some pizza in this situation (obviously unless something was specified beforehand). If you're really hurting for money, then inform the babysitter to bring their own food/snacks. Otherwise it's weird to expect them to feed the kids dinner and then fend for themselves. If I were a parent, I'd rather all the sitter's focus to be on the kids and not have them trying to cook or having to order something just for themselves. It's not like this sitter bought a whole meal for themselves, they ate some pizza and bread, FFS.
Easy solution to this is to simply not think about it anymore and never babysit for them again. Do people really let stuff like this eat at them or is it nothing more than an artifact of AITA sites existing?
She's 20. This is probably the first time something like this has happened. No wonder it was upsetting. The parents probably pulled that c**p because she's young and they figured they could get away with it. A 40-year-old babysitter with more experience in life would have called them on their BS.
Load More Replies... NTA. If you are babysitting at dinner time, the family feeds you. That is normal. Period.
They're just selfish people. So she made a mistake by assuming that she could have some pizza too. She's used to others being kind and ok with it. They're just teaching their children to be greedy. You people saying she's TA are just as bad. It's a few pieces of pizza. Get over it.
When I used to babysit the parents would almost always tell me to help myself to anything in the kitchen. I did the same when my kids had babysitters. I would most certainly expect the sitter to share a pizza. When I lived overseas, I babysat for an Italian family. The dad spoke eniglish, the mom didn't. She would prepare these amazing dinners for me before they'd go out. He'd pick me up bring me to the house, and she would still be cooking. Then she'd sit me down put a plate in front of me, and then go get ready for their night out. And she'd always send me home with a container of leftovers. I can't even fathom telling a babysitter they can't eat dinner.
NTA.. maybe it's because it's been almost 40years since I babysat, but every parent who has had me babysitting for them has always allowed me to eat if they ordered out OR told me what I could eat in their pantry... has so much changed with babysitting in this time? Other than the cost of babysitting I mean.
Those parents are nuts. Someone like them suggested, that the personnel in old age homes should not be allowed to eat with the patients. To save money of course, but they didn't take into account, that if the nurses didn't eat with them the patiens wouldn't eat either. Thereby costing society much more money, when they got sick. I think these children wouldn't have eaten much if their babysitter had just sat there looking at them. I couldn't have.
Damn. I used to work for a couple of daycares in my mid-large city and we all babysat on the side back in the day. Not a single one of the Richie rich parents would dream of not allowing us to eat a bit of their food while we babysat. We're taking care of your kids for God's sake, a piece of pizza or two is not a bank breaker. Hell, not a single one of the daycares's wouldn't have fed us either. I had chicken nuggets and apple slices as a lunch for years. As a matter of fact my spouse currently works for a daycare and eats the same things as the kids after they've all been fed. It's just part of the job.
When I babysat as a teenager, I was always told to help myself to anything in the fridge or cupboards, and to partake of the kids pizza, popcorn or snacks they had while watching a movie or whatever. I ate if I was hungry but never took advantage. There was never a problem with it.
I truly shocked at how many people went with YTA. I guess maybe babysitters should start asking for tips now then, instead? What a joke! U ALWAYS feed the babysitter! And how much could 2 pieces and a breadstick REALLY cost?! It's a "side gig" and not a 9-5 like they r implying with their "the parents r the employers" OP is SO NTA!
The YTA people are TA here as well as the parents. How cheap can one be? I have never babysat for such tightwads. If you don't value the person you choose to watch your children, you don't deserve a good babysitter. Also, what kind of example are you setting for your children if you think it's okay for them to eat while the carer cannot? What's next? An itemized bill with kilowatt hours for heating, lights, TV usage... after the children are in bed since the kids aren't using that electricity? NTA and don't work for them again. You deserve better than that.
Wtf you always let the babysitter eat, I always tell them They can have whatever they want. What is wrong with people.
I cannot believe the YTAs. I started babysitting at age 11 (normal back then). I ALWAYS ate along with the kids. Even if it wasn't mealtime, the parents would show me where to access snacks if I wanted. My cousin always ordered me a pizza even when his kids were on bottles. Same for when I was a kid and had babysitters. It's just understood; you feed the person who comes into your house to care for your kids. If those parents are so cheap and entitled, they won't be finding a decent sitter anywhere.
It's always been my assumption that my babysitter should be allowed to eat (I always made sure there were snacks) and if I'd ordered pizza, f*ck yeah I'd expect her to have some. I was taught that you always offer service workers (cable guy, contractor, etc.) something to eat or a beverage. I have always done so. Mostly they seem surprised and almost always decline. But my contractor, Robert, has a real soft spot for my homemade chocolate chip & walnut cookies.
I always fed my kids before the babysitter arrived, but when the babysitter did arrived, I showed her where she could find drinks and snacks and told her to help herself! However in the OPs shoes I probably wouldn't have eaten the pizza but I don't think they are the AH for doing so. And the parents' reaction was very OTT.
Clearly by the YTA comments, there are plenty of tight scroogey a******s out there inventorying the pantries and going off on their sitters
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