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I remember my 14-year-old self reading Herman Hesse’s “Steppenwolf,” thinking of the dumb world and dreaming that it would have no consequences. My CD player would be blasting Nirvana’s Nevermind again and again, like a stuck record that had no way of escaping. Fast forward to today, I cringe a little and yet, I find it cute. Being a teen is one ride of a lifetime that feels eternal in the moment, but passes so fast as if it never happened.

Every parent who raises a teenage kid also experiences a fair share of that awkward, overwhelming and transformative time of life. Some, well, most of them, argue (because that’s just a law of nature, right?) and others arm themselves with a smashing sense of humor. And it turns out that some savage parents are able to roast their teenagers into barbecue in just a single tweet.

Today, we collected some of the funniest tweets from the unstoppable parents with teen kids, so scroll down below to laugh your eyes out!

#1

Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

RealFionaO Report

Andy Acceber
Community Member
4 years ago

True for all parenting: Don't give kids a choice where it doesn't exist. Kids are literal thinkers, and teenagers are wiley. If there's a loophole, they'll find it.

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    #2

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    DrWhoWhatWhyHow Report

    Pain
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    If this isn't true, I don't know what is.

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    #3

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    sweetmomissa Report

    Thomas Stead
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    lol

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    #4

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    StevenIsserlis Report

    GoddessOdd
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    I bypassed kids and went straight to animals... all kinds of them. I've never regretted my choice!

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    #5

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    WendiAarons Report

    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Hey, he trusts you enough to be open with you, and his big "crime" is sneaking into the wrong movie. I say you've done something right.

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    #6

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    TheMandiEm Report

    Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    My teens can wear what they want but then don't get to complain about the cold. Also, I tell them in advance that I will not help out with my warm clothing. That worked rather well after a wee bit of hard learning. (If we go up to the mountains in winter they will wear what I say. Too potentially dangerous.)

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    #7

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    dramadelinquent Report

    Bobby
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    How many were there, before these 2.

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    #8

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    whinecheezits Report

    Adam C
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    I will try this. Thanks!!

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    #9

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    maryfairybobrry Report

    Elli Rahim
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Grateful to the Lord above said teen is willing to be out with the family at all.

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    #10

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    WendiAarons Report

    Mistralok
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Clever.

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    #11

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    LibyaLiberty Report

    Evil Hornet
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Is it really possible that people would wear clothes they consider ugly just because they are in style atm? Oo

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    #12

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Report

    Mistralok
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Likely looking for an earring she absolutely can't find.

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    #13

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    SamMcAlister1 Report

    twoflowerAUT
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    How about accept a "no"? Which clearly didn't happen here.

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    #14

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Parkerlawyer Report

    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Maybe you just raised a really independent young person? If so, congrats! That's one of the major goals of parenting. Hopefully in a few days, things will mellow out for her and she'll realize, "Oh yeah, I should probably talk to mom."

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    #15

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    mommajessiec Report

    IlovemydogShilo
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited)

    I have a nephew like this. He eats and eats and never puts weight on. He never gets a hangover after a night out (don’t worry, he’s over 18). And everyone around him could be dying of some illness or virus and he never gets sick. We’re all jealous of him.

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    #16

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    ChristiLukasiak Report

    DUN DUN (she/her)
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Oh god oh god oh god THIS IS SOO SOO TRUE, AND I DON'T EVEN DO ANYTHING FISHY!!!

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    #17

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    FoxyWinePocket Report

    Babsevs
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    And sometimes even pickier eaters...I have one who eats everything...one is very beige!

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    #18

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    RodLacroix Report

    Nika De Beer
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Tequila

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    #19

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    ICantEven001 Report

    DUN DUN (she/her)
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    ...this kind of makes me sad Idk why tho

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    #20

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Six_Pack_Mom Report

    lunar eclipse
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited)

    If I even think about walking away from a convo and my parents emit death rays. Can't even imagine slamming a door

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    #21

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    steveolivas Report

    tom
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Was he your son?

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    #22

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Parkerlawyer Report

    NsG
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    In the UK (and possibly elsewhere) Axe is sold under the name Lynx. And we had a headline a few days ago: "schoolboy loses both nipples after dare to freeze them with Lynx". So there is a maximum spray number.

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    #23

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Cheeseboy22 Report

    Berit Zurbuchen
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited)

    Yeah, doing very extended handstands as a 40-something mom always impresses kids and teens, and my daughter explodes with pride 🥳🤣. (But I do it only when they request it and it's literally my job, teacher for contemporary circus especially acrobatics/clowning/minitramp.)

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    #24

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    sarcasticmommy4 Report

    Nika De Beer
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    You need a SWAT team to diffuse that situation

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    #25

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    thebabylady7 Report

    Some Cool Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Its like the day of their 13th birthday they wake up as a completely different kid.

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    #26

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    sarcasticmommy4 Report

    Roxy Eastland
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    And need a lift

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    #27

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Six_Pack_Mom Report

    Rijkærd
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    I saw a Twitter thread about a dad teaching his daughter how to use a can opener and it was super hilarious....

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    #28

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    sweetmomissa Report

    Mistralok
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    The carpet these days is usually a tile floor.

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    #29

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    KrisnBrit Report

    Yoga Kitty
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    I am afraid, I don't think so. There is only so much you can do against hormones on a rollercoaster - remind the teen in question to shower frequently, wear fresh clothes and, for the love of God, try your best to keep them away from evil smelling products like Axe (for boys) or Impulse (for girls) as these are only unlocking the next level of smell hell... Thank you, thank you, thank you for your efforts!

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    #30

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    saltymermaident Report

    tom
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Cool. Then the house will be quiet

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    #31

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Kalarigamerchic Report

    Yort
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Parents b***h about how their kids never tell them anything but also b***h when their kids are excited to share their hobbies with the parents and then the parents b***h when their kids steadily withdraw from engaging with the family and don’t share their hobbies or interests anymore.

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    #32

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    QueenBlueeyed Report

    Sheila Stamey
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Spoke to a lady who was nursing a coffee in the subway restaurant as I passed, ( we do that here, nothing strange, and she looked slightly down) I asked, " Are you ok?" She replied, "yeah, I've just got three teenagers at home and I am talking myself into going back." I patted her back and reassured her these days pass. Teen years are extremely hard. My lovely daughter once tried a mini exorcism on me when I didn't wash her underwear! No joke! One son was so emo I worried he would never really walk upright after age fourteen. But we lived through it, they do too. We forget, often we were little turds at that age!!!

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    #33

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    RodLacroix Report

    cybermerlin2000
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    You can find anything in their room? What's your secret?

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    #34

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Cheeseboy22 Report

    Evil Hornet
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    He not only thinks outside the box. He also acts outside the basket

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    #35

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    MacDicksonShow Report

    Cadena Norton
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Mine once got mad at me for leaving without telling her she woke up and I had been gone 4hrs. I said I'm I woke u up tried to get u to come with us u sat up we had a whole conversation ....she was like what?

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    #36

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    sweetmomissa Report

    chi-wei shen
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    I'm just curious. What would be the meaning of "Mom, you've fattened up a bit"?

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    #37

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    ksujulie Report

    Babsevs
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This period lasts from around 11 to 18 in my experience

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    #38

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    RodLacroix Report

    Kai David
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    That does not bother me much since they clean up their own meß. It's the boys, husband included, that put empty containers back in the fridge or cupboards. just because there are 2 gallons of milk in the fridge does not mean there is milk inside said gallon of milk containers

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    #39

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Cheeseboy22 Report

    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Naw. You can spend quality time with your teens without intentionally embarrassing them. It's hard enough to be a teen. You wouldn't like it if your teen intentionally embarrassed you. Don't do it to them. Still definitely spend quality time with them though.

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    #40

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    HousewifeOfHell Report

    PandaGoPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    I'm still waiting for this to hit As my son is 17, daughter 16 and neither of them have shut up yet, I'm guessing the "grunt" gene passed them by.

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    #41

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Parkerlawyer Report

    Comfy Panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    God forbid the Wi-Fi goes out!!!!!! Y'all know EXACTLY what I'm talking about too!!!!

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    #42

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    sarcasticmommy4 Report

    Madzdad the Bard
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    In Colorado, USA, 15yo are required to have X hours of "mountain driving" in order to get their license. I believe that took about 10 years off my life!

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    #43

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    katierosman Report

    Yort
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    You went from being s beautiful young actress to a beautiful and very wealthy actress?

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    #44

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Parkerlawyer Report

    Sequoia
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    It's an automated response. If you want to change it you need a new one. You must make sure to download the proper manners update though. You may have to get rid of the other one so its influence doesn't spread. Maybe wait until the teen moves out.

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    #45

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    That1teddygirl Report

    Maddy_BobaTea
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited)

    ???? uh ok how about: ye,ya,yea,yee,yes,yas,yaaaas,YAASS QWEEN,yup,yep,yeah,yeehaw

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    #46

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Six_Pack_Mom Report

    Lynne Hammar
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This was my son! I can't tell you how many salespeople asked me, "Is he all right?"

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    #47

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    DomesticGoddss Report

    Mistralok
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    One of my Grandfathers in the early 60s invented an under the dash bar; just put your cup under and push a button.

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    #48

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    MidgardMomma Report

    tom
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Yep catching up on Netflix

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    #49

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Parkerlawyer Report

    Babsevs
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    YES!!!!

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    #50

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    CarolineHirons Report

    moose man
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    And then you told them to do something else and they walked away NS left the trash in your hands.

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    #51

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    DannyZuker Report

    Babsevs
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    My elder has a split personality here ..50% contemptuous silence....50% arrgghhh my ears are burning and my head is about to explode . I never know what day I will get

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    #52

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    AndyRichter Report

    Maddy_BobaTea
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    .....raccoons?

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    #53

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    BigMama Report

    SCamp
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This is the killer for me - 0 details

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    #54

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    3sunzzz Report

    cybermerlin2000
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    It's not that easy

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    #55

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    HousewifeOfHell Report

    Karen Lyon
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    And if the teens are girls, then there are hormonal issues for both! I remember reading an article from a columnist in my local paper that I really liked. Her daughter was in high school, she was going through menopause, they were driving each other crazy. She and her daughter would be hashing out some conflict at the tops of their voices, with her husband literally in the middle: on the couch, watching it all play out like he was at a demented tennis match. I really felt for the guy!

    #56

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    sarcasticmommy4 Report

    tom
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    The fun thing about being a parent is that you can tell them that there are two choices, take it or leave it

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    #57

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    HilaryVervers Report

    chi-wei shen
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Twenty years sounds too early. It's rather 40 or 50 years.

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    #58

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Cheeseboy22 Report

    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    I really don't get that practice. Even if it was for a real proposal I think it's weird.

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    #59

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    mommajessiec Report

    Sanchi
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited)

    No (13f)

    #60

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    EricaWhoToYou Report

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    #61

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    KateFONeill Report

    tom
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    That's when you open a can of dog food next to her,empty half of it out, leave a spoon in it and let her wake up wondering

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    #62

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    NatashaVianna Report

    Mari
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Just give food and go away!

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    #63

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    AndyRichter Report

    tom
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Solution....Fly free song bird and do your own thing

    #64

    Parents-Roasting-Teenagers-Tweets

    Parkerlawyer Report

    Comfy Panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    "Frankly my dear I don't give a damn."

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