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Woman Explains Why You Should Respect Your Child’s Privacy In An Eye-Opening Message
Being a parent is hard as it is – you want the best for your child but sometimes good intentions can be a cause for toxic actions. For example, some parents are over-protective of their children, therefore, they are having a hard time trusting them. One Tumblr user told a story about participating in a panel of Girl Scouts event, where a question was asked: “Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?” Seemingly, the older and the younger generation had very conflicting opinions about it.
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Other users sided with OP by sharing their own thoughts on children’s privacy
One teenager offered their own experiences to support the idea that over-protective parents harm their relationship with children
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What do you think ?
Andrea Jones 7 years ago
As someone who has depression and anxiety since a young a child, I used to write poetry in a book and hid it under my mattress, I once came home to my uncle reading it, when he saw me he said "that's F***ing depressing" I was mortified. I felt I had nobody to talk to, I didn't have friends and I was 10 years old. I always felt that nobody took me seriously, I would feel like there was a black hole inside I could not fill and adults told me to get over of it. As an adult it took me a long time to come to terms with it all, but I had a wonderful friend who supported me and gave me perspective. Finally I gained some insight and it is this: Different generations are taught, raised differently, and have a tool box... sometimes they don't have the right tools. If i could give advice. Listen to your child, try to understand or at least take their feelings seriously because feelings are real; regardless of whether they are warranted.
In too many fandoms 3 years ago
I’m so sorry for you, it must have been horrible… I’m glad you’re better!
Load More Replies...
sugarcoolness 7 years ago
I can tell you for a fact this is true. My parents read all my texts put trackers on my phone and even took the door off my bedroom. I had nothing that was mine, it felt like my thoughts were the only thing I had. I lost respect for them, and eventually lied constantly. They tracked my phone so I would leave my phone in the mailbox, they read my texts I'd stop texting anything Important to me. The only thing I wanted was to get away from them. To this day now that I'm out of the house my brother is now going through the same problems. Our parents may have thought they knew everything about me, but in reality they pushed me away. Strict parents create rebellious kids, kids who know how to get around them.
bob 7 years ago
Wow your parents are f*cked up... Should be totally illegal what they did to you.
Load More Replies...
Lazy Panda 7 years ago
When I was young my parents got a divorce and it hit me hard. I struggled a lot and only ever spoke to my mom out of fear my dad would get mad at me so I spent a lot of time texting my mom. He got angry at me over that and installed a nanny app on my phone (monitors screen time, apps used, displays texts, etc.). Once that was there I didn’t text anyone and closed myself off. Those were the loneliest years of my life, I still suffer from it. Had my father let me be my own person and not gotten angry that I didn’t open up to him I might have talked more. Seriously, parents, spying on your kids is damn near the worst thing you can do.
Carol Emory 7 years ago (edited)
I hate it when a divorce gets ugly enough between spouses that the kids get dragged into the crossfire. A friend of mine had a father that didn't deal with loss very well. When her little brother died, he destroyed every picture of him so he wouldn't have to remember him. When her mother died years later from cancer, she hid pictures of her mother. He found most of them. When I met her..she only had three left because he'd found the rest and destroyed them. Her father became a raging alcoholic and was very severe in his punishments (making them stand in the corner and hold a dictionary with outstretched arms for an hour.) She eventually moved in with an older brother and went wild child from all the new found freedom.
Load More Replies...
mouse dog 7 years ago
I had an experience when I was keeping a diary, my father snuck into my room while I was in the shower and read my diary. When I got out, he was laughing at my latest entry, about feeling like I wanted to die. Another thing, whenever I tell my mother things, she tells her friends, if I tell her someone said something mean to me, she would have called my school, and so to this day I never write a diary, and I never tell my parents anything, because I can't trust them.
Wil Vanderheijden 7 years ago
When parents have to read their children's diaries and texts to learn what's going on in their lives, they've already failed as parents from the beginning. Controlling your kids is not equal to loving them. It leads to losing them to drugs, criminality, alienation or suicide.
A Dyke From The Dreamworld 7 years ago
When I was a kid, my parents went through one of my social media accounts. They found some potentially dangerous but already solved s**t that I did and banned me from it. Not only did I resent them and feel violated, I had trouble making friends because I had a lot of internet pals on there. My mom even once explicitly said to me; "You're a kid. You have no privacy." It really f*****g pisses me off when people tell kids that they have no rights or that they have no privacy. Blatant adultism.
Martha Meyer 7 years ago
I suppose there is a reason the US is the only country on the planet that has not ratified the "Convention on the Rights of the Child". The right to privacy and the right to be raised without physical punishment is in there.
Load More Replies...
Night Owl 7 years ago (edited)
It's much better to openly talk to them about their activity on the internet and about the dangers (and possibilities) that internet brings and maybe even ask them to voluntarily(!) show you some of their communications if you're really worried than going behind their backs and constantly monitor their communications and their every move. They do need privacy but they also need parents who are interested in them and how they day went and who will ask about it and listen to them, parents whom they trust and who trust them. You only get that from open communication, and it takes time and effort. The most important and hardest thing to do is find a balance and keep it.
lasagna's underrated 7 years ago
I had a social media profile in sixth grade where I put my feelings onto. As soon as I fell asleep every night, my parents would go onto my phone, onto my account, and read every post that my friends that live across the country wrote, and me complaining about my brothers. I trusted those people, and I did trust my parents. I posted a joke about suicide, which was clearly a joke. I was sent to therapy, which I resisted. I've since left my account behind and I still go to therapy, but this time, with trust issues. I change my phone and computer password every month, just to make sure no one finds them out. Don't go onto your children's phones and social media to check what their friends see. Listen to them when they're upset, and stop when they don't want to talk about them. If you invade their privacy like that, it'll cause problems in the future, and probably make their mental health worse.
Hans 7 years ago
Any relationship thrives if it is based on trust. This is equally true for a marriage as it is for parents caring for a toddler! Of course you need to protect your children. But trusting them is the first step to make them trust that they can seek you in need of help REGARDLESS of what might have happened.
Bored Fox 7 years ago
In most European countries we have 'Secrecy of correspondence' which protects people from other people who want to read their personal messages. Also children could easily sue their parents of they read their personal diary or other texts without their permission. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secrecy_of_correspondence
A Dyke From The Dreamworld 7 years ago (edited)
We need this here in America!
Load More Replies...
Andrea Jones 7 years ago
As someone who has depression and anxiety since a young a child, I used to write poetry in a book and hid it under my mattress, I once came home to my uncle reading it, when he saw me he said "that's F***ing depressing" I was mortified. I felt I had nobody to talk to, I didn't have friends and I was 10 years old. I always felt that nobody took me seriously, I would feel like there was a black hole inside I could not fill and adults told me to get over of it. As an adult it took me a long time to come to terms with it all, but I had a wonderful friend who supported me and gave me perspective. Finally I gained some insight and it is this: Different generations are taught, raised differently, and have a tool box... sometimes they don't have the right tools. If i could give advice. Listen to your child, try to understand or at least take their feelings seriously because feelings are real; regardless of whether they are warranted.
In too many fandoms 3 years ago
I’m so sorry for you, it must have been horrible… I’m glad you’re better!
Load More Replies... sugarcoolness 7 years ago
I can tell you for a fact this is true. My parents read all my texts put trackers on my phone and even took the door off my bedroom. I had nothing that was mine, it felt like my thoughts were the only thing I had. I lost respect for them, and eventually lied constantly. They tracked my phone so I would leave my phone in the mailbox, they read my texts I'd stop texting anything Important to me. The only thing I wanted was to get away from them. To this day now that I'm out of the house my brother is now going through the same problems. Our parents may have thought they knew everything about me, but in reality they pushed me away. Strict parents create rebellious kids, kids who know how to get around them.
bob 7 years ago
Wow your parents are f*cked up... Should be totally illegal what they did to you.
Load More Replies... Lazy Panda 7 years ago
When I was young my parents got a divorce and it hit me hard. I struggled a lot and only ever spoke to my mom out of fear my dad would get mad at me so I spent a lot of time texting my mom. He got angry at me over that and installed a nanny app on my phone (monitors screen time, apps used, displays texts, etc.). Once that was there I didn’t text anyone and closed myself off. Those were the loneliest years of my life, I still suffer from it. Had my father let me be my own person and not gotten angry that I didn’t open up to him I might have talked more. Seriously, parents, spying on your kids is damn near the worst thing you can do.
Carol Emory 7 years ago (edited)
I hate it when a divorce gets ugly enough between spouses that the kids get dragged into the crossfire. A friend of mine had a father that didn't deal with loss very well. When her little brother died, he destroyed every picture of him so he wouldn't have to remember him. When her mother died years later from cancer, she hid pictures of her mother. He found most of them. When I met her..she only had three left because he'd found the rest and destroyed them. Her father became a raging alcoholic and was very severe in his punishments (making them stand in the corner and hold a dictionary with outstretched arms for an hour.) She eventually moved in with an older brother and went wild child from all the new found freedom.
Load More Replies... mouse dog 7 years ago
I had an experience when I was keeping a diary, my father snuck into my room while I was in the shower and read my diary. When I got out, he was laughing at my latest entry, about feeling like I wanted to die. Another thing, whenever I tell my mother things, she tells her friends, if I tell her someone said something mean to me, she would have called my school, and so to this day I never write a diary, and I never tell my parents anything, because I can't trust them.
Wil Vanderheijden 7 years ago
When parents have to read their children's diaries and texts to learn what's going on in their lives, they've already failed as parents from the beginning. Controlling your kids is not equal to loving them. It leads to losing them to drugs, criminality, alienation or suicide.
A Dyke From The Dreamworld 7 years ago
When I was a kid, my parents went through one of my social media accounts. They found some potentially dangerous but already solved s**t that I did and banned me from it. Not only did I resent them and feel violated, I had trouble making friends because I had a lot of internet pals on there. My mom even once explicitly said to me; "You're a kid. You have no privacy." It really f*****g pisses me off when people tell kids that they have no rights or that they have no privacy. Blatant adultism.
Martha Meyer 7 years ago
I suppose there is a reason the US is the only country on the planet that has not ratified the "Convention on the Rights of the Child". The right to privacy and the right to be raised without physical punishment is in there.
Load More Replies... Night Owl 7 years ago (edited)
It's much better to openly talk to them about their activity on the internet and about the dangers (and possibilities) that internet brings and maybe even ask them to voluntarily(!) show you some of their communications if you're really worried than going behind their backs and constantly monitor their communications and their every move. They do need privacy but they also need parents who are interested in them and how they day went and who will ask about it and listen to them, parents whom they trust and who trust them. You only get that from open communication, and it takes time and effort. The most important and hardest thing to do is find a balance and keep it.
lasagna's underrated 7 years ago
I had a social media profile in sixth grade where I put my feelings onto. As soon as I fell asleep every night, my parents would go onto my phone, onto my account, and read every post that my friends that live across the country wrote, and me complaining about my brothers. I trusted those people, and I did trust my parents. I posted a joke about suicide, which was clearly a joke. I was sent to therapy, which I resisted. I've since left my account behind and I still go to therapy, but this time, with trust issues. I change my phone and computer password every month, just to make sure no one finds them out. Don't go onto your children's phones and social media to check what their friends see. Listen to them when they're upset, and stop when they don't want to talk about them. If you invade their privacy like that, it'll cause problems in the future, and probably make their mental health worse.
Hans 7 years ago
Any relationship thrives if it is based on trust. This is equally true for a marriage as it is for parents caring for a toddler! Of course you need to protect your children. But trusting them is the first step to make them trust that they can seek you in need of help REGARDLESS of what might have happened.
Bored Fox 7 years ago
In most European countries we have 'Secrecy of correspondence' which protects people from other people who want to read their personal messages. Also children could easily sue their parents of they read their personal diary or other texts without their permission. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secrecy_of_correspondence
A Dyke From The Dreamworld 7 years ago (edited)
We need this here in America!
Load More Replies...
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