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Mental health issues are a tough thing that many people struggle with. And for them, having someone they trust is very important. After all, it’s said that opening up can be a big step toward accepting and working out your problems. Yet, not everyone is that lucky.
Like this man who decided to open up to his girlfriend because his troubles were crushing him. Sadly, it turned out that this woman wasn’t as reliable as he thought, and it only sent him down the deep end.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
When opening up to someone, you not only have to worry about how to be vulnerable with them but also how they’re going to react
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics (not the actual photo)
A man who had never opened up to anyone in his life before decided to do this to his girlfriend of 2 years
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)
She listened to him talking about the struggles he endures and didn’t say anything bad
Image credits: Alena Darmel (not the actual photo)
But then, a few days later, she dumped him seemingly out of the blue
Image credits: u/Feisty-Summer8884
After some time, he learned that the reason she did that was that seeing him cry was a turn-off for her and she made fun of him behind his back
Today’s OP revealed that he’s been going through tough times. He understood that he needed to talk to someone about it, even though it was very hard, as he had never done so before.
The original poster didn’t specify the reason why he had never opened up to anyone up until this point. Well, we could guess that it might have something to do with the “boys don’t cry”stereotype. When growing up, boys are told not to cry as it “isn’t manly.” This makes them repress their negative emotions from when they were little, which results in them having a tough time and not being able to talk about their feelings. Today’s author is a perfect example of this.
Well, basically, this whole story is about him breaking this kind of wall in his mind and deciding to finally open up to someone, which didn’t end pleasantly, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
The person he opened up to was his girlfriend of 2 years.Overall, finding a person you trust enough to talk to them about your struggles is very important. Having someone to understand or at least acknowledge what you’re going through can be a step toward dealing with the troubles.
Yet, the process of opening up might be scary. In a way, it’s like getting emotionally naked in front of someone and hoping they won’t make fun of you. Despite many cases of people supporting those who open up, there are still many cases of people who don’t.
And sadly, the girlfriend of today’s author was one of those people. A few days after her boyfriend got so vulnerable, she dumped him. While at first, it seemed out of the blue for him, he soon learned why she did that.
Image credits: Alena Darmel (not the actual photo)
Apparently, seeing him cry was a turn-off for her. She and her friends also made fun of him for opening up and dubbed him weak.
This crushed the man. He trusted her so much that she was the first person he ever talked about his struggles with. And now, he has no one he can talk about this stuff with.
So, he vented about the whole situation on Reddit. Here, he received quite a mix of comments, just as he pointed out in the update himself. Many comments talked about how this betrayal, while painful, would be for the best in the long run, as he learned that his ex wasn’t trustworthy.
It will surely be hard for the OP to open up to someone else in the near future. Yet, we hope that he will finda way to do that, either in his social circle, online, or maybe even by reaching out to a therapist.Bottling up emotions is never a beneficial thing, and it’s just too sad that he got hurt when he tried to deal with them by talking for the first time ever.
What would you do if you were in a similar situation? Share with us in the comments!
This made the man vent about it on Reddit, where people assured him that it’s better to know what a terrible person she is sooner rather than later
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What do you think ?
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 1 year ago
The "save it for the boys" comments are sad. And also bad advice: you need to be able to trust your partner. Part of the damage of toxic masculinity is that some men wont share any vulnerability at all with their partner. As part of getting to know someone, you have to share some hard stuff so you can know what theyre like with you when youre vulnerable. If thats the kind od person you want, you have to let them show you who they are a little earlier.
Kira Okah 1 year ago
ime, the reason why men won't show vulnerability to their partners is exactly the thing this post speaks about. So many men I've been acquainted with and dated have directly experienced exactly what the article is about, and they just won't make the risk of potentially getting burnt again. To resolve this concept, it would require a partner - man, woman, whathaveyou - to not be a d**k and not break their partner's trust.
Load More Replies...
Rebel Peewee 1 year ago
I always had a rule that i only dated men who could talk to me about their feelings and cry. Only way they can be healthy enough for a strong relationship.
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
This cultural stigma of "A man has to eat rocks and shīt gravel" really has to finally die out. It doesn't just teach people to bottle up until they break, it also sets into the stereotype that men aren't *allowed* to feel anything but anger without being devalued. My fiance too struggles with being open about his feelings, even though he knows I'd never and have never ridiculed him and have always been supportive. It's so ingrained into everyone that he keeps trying to hide it until he can't no more and it becomes so obvious I can clearly see it and have to help him open up. Everyone's vulnerable deep inside, and it's on us to work together and support one another though those bad times
Karen Philpott 1 year ago
I agree. We need to support our guys and teach our sons that it's OK to be vulnerable. And teach our daughters that it's OK for their male friends and partner to be that way too.
Load More Replies...
LuckyTanuki 1 year ago
He did, but it may cause very harmful damage like "commiting not alive". If he's really in as dark a place as he is, and this happens when he's at his lowest, I can only imagine the harmful thoughts going through his head. She potentially may have just caused another incel at nest, or an unalive at worst.
Load More Replies...
zovjraar me 1 year ago
omg so many comments about don't share that with your girl.... wow. that is so sad. i've been married for over 20 years, and i would NEVER (nor have i) think less of my husband because he's going through a tough time and needs a shoulder to cry on. that's what i'm here for!!! i'm here to support him when he needs it, just as he supports me when i need it! i can't imagine what kind of toxic relationships these guys have been in that they think this is good advice- to only tell your bros. dudes, stop going for looks and consider the personality of the person you're with!
Steve Hall 1 year ago
I don't care who down votes this but there is nothing that helps your soul like a good cry, even if you are a guy.
Melissa anderson 1 year ago
His ex is scum of the earth. Nobody with any self respect will have her.
Helena 1 year ago
I've never known any woman to react like this to a man crying, let alone a gaggle of them. Weird.
Kira Okah 1 year ago
I have known a lot of men - acquaintances and dates - who have experienced exactly what the OP describes. Thee are people on twitter who openly post word for word the explanation given by the gf.. There is a Vogue column about why men being emotional gives them the ick.
Load More Replies... Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 1 year ago
The "save it for the boys" comments are sad. And also bad advice: you need to be able to trust your partner. Part of the damage of toxic masculinity is that some men wont share any vulnerability at all with their partner. As part of getting to know someone, you have to share some hard stuff so you can know what theyre like with you when youre vulnerable. If thats the kind od person you want, you have to let them show you who they are a little earlier.
Kira Okah 1 year ago
ime, the reason why men won't show vulnerability to their partners is exactly the thing this post speaks about. So many men I've been acquainted with and dated have directly experienced exactly what the article is about, and they just won't make the risk of potentially getting burnt again. To resolve this concept, it would require a partner - man, woman, whathaveyou - to not be a d**k and not break their partner's trust.
Load More Replies... Rebel Peewee 1 year ago
I always had a rule that i only dated men who could talk to me about their feelings and cry. Only way they can be healthy enough for a strong relationship.
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
This cultural stigma of "A man has to eat rocks and shīt gravel" really has to finally die out. It doesn't just teach people to bottle up until they break, it also sets into the stereotype that men aren't *allowed* to feel anything but anger without being devalued. My fiance too struggles with being open about his feelings, even though he knows I'd never and have never ridiculed him and have always been supportive. It's so ingrained into everyone that he keeps trying to hide it until he can't no more and it becomes so obvious I can clearly see it and have to help him open up. Everyone's vulnerable deep inside, and it's on us to work together and support one another though those bad times
Karen Philpott 1 year ago
I agree. We need to support our guys and teach our sons that it's OK to be vulnerable. And teach our daughters that it's OK for their male friends and partner to be that way too.
Load More Replies... LuckyTanuki 1 year ago
He did, but it may cause very harmful damage like "commiting not alive". If he's really in as dark a place as he is, and this happens when he's at his lowest, I can only imagine the harmful thoughts going through his head. She potentially may have just caused another incel at nest, or an unalive at worst.
Load More Replies... zovjraar me 1 year ago
omg so many comments about don't share that with your girl.... wow. that is so sad. i've been married for over 20 years, and i would NEVER (nor have i) think less of my husband because he's going through a tough time and needs a shoulder to cry on. that's what i'm here for!!! i'm here to support him when he needs it, just as he supports me when i need it! i can't imagine what kind of toxic relationships these guys have been in that they think this is good advice- to only tell your bros. dudes, stop going for looks and consider the personality of the person you're with!
Steve Hall 1 year ago
I don't care who down votes this but there is nothing that helps your soul like a good cry, even if you are a guy.
Melissa anderson 1 year ago
His ex is scum of the earth. Nobody with any self respect will have her.
Helena 1 year ago
I've never known any woman to react like this to a man crying, let alone a gaggle of them. Weird.
Kira Okah 1 year ago
I have known a lot of men - acquaintances and dates - who have experienced exactly what the OP describes. Thee are people on twitter who openly post word for word the explanation given by the gf.. There is a Vogue column about why men being emotional gives them the ick.
Load More Replies...
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