50 People Reveal The “Oh, Hell No” Moment That Made Them End Their Relationship
Depending on the circumstances, it can be incredibly difficult or extremely easy to end a romantic relationship. And while we can have virtually endless discussions about the first category, this time let's focus on the second one.
Recently, Reddit user DonutNoLikey asked other platform users, "What was your 'OH, HELL NAH' moment in a relationship that made you leave?" and people have shared plenty of personal stories that provide interesting insight into what pushes us to our breaking points.
Of course, these reasons are often just the tip of the iceberg, but sometimes we need an obvious sign to notice broader, more nuanced problems.
She got really upset at me at a party (nothing I did) and started a huge verbal argument. Then I demanded that we leave because it was inappropriate to do this as guests in someone’s home. On the way to our place, she hit me a bunch of times demanding “answers” for someone that I slept with before we even met.
She got even more angry and physically violent once we got home, to the point where I had to restrain her before she hurt me or herself for that matter. She screamed to let me go and that if I didn’t she would scream for the police — she looked me in the eye then said “who are they going to believe..?”
For context, we’re both roughly 5’11” but I’ve got about 80 pounds on her. I’m a black man, she’s a white woman. I have never been more afraid of being shot by the police than that night.
We were hanging out at his house and he kept pressuring me to have sex. I was still a young, naive virgin so I refused. We started watching a movie instead. I went to the bathroom and he stole my car keys. Once I was back on the couch he started trying to take off my clothes. I was scared so I grabbed my purse to leave. That's when he jingles my keys. He said I could have them back once I slept with him. I just ran outside and called my dad. My dad showed up and threatened to beat his a*s if my keys weren't returned. Got my keys and got the f**k out. He continued to stalk me for the next 7 years.
First Mother’s Day as a mum, and just got my first period after a brutal emergency c section. I was so sick I could only crawl to the toilet. Should have been hospitalised, but too mentally incoherent to know. Ex ignored the special occasion, ignored my need for help, and ignored our newborn who I was too unwell to feed or hold so he could go out with his mates. When I called him beginning him to come home in tears he made it sound like he was doing me a favour. Kicked him to the curb as soon as I was strong enough. No regrets.
I was dating this girl for 3 years ( broken up now) it was coming to the end of the relationship. We were arguing constantly at one point eventually I just started to agree with her to get her to shut up, so one morning we're awake in bed and she says "we should have a kid" I say yes knowing if I don't it'll just lead to another argument. She tears up and gives me a hug, I hug her and I say well it's gonna take some time because you gotta get off your birth control and she says, with the straightest face in the world "I stopped a month ago" we had been having sex 3 to 4 times a week and I never pulled out any of those times. At that moment right there I decided no more sex and I was gonna end the relationship. You absolutely do not make a life changing decision for your partner without consulting with them first.
My best friend is female we have been friends for 18 years, was out with a new gf and ran into NY friend at the mall. Friend hugged me and I introduced her and I though all was well until we got home. She freaked out and said she broke "girl code" and I wasn't allowed to talk to her anymore... side note she had male friends that I didn't freak out over, I pointed that out and she said "it's different, you're a guy" to which I said she has issues and this wasn't going to work out and I never looked back.
I'm not throwing away a life long friend to appease a jealous girlfriend.
I had a dream where everyone in my life treated me like she treats me every day and in my dream it made me kill myself, I woke up in tears and realized truly just how abusive she is.
Never introduced me to his friends. Would actively avoid being seen with me by people he knew. I pretty quickly asked him what was his problem. His answer was that I needed to change my appearance because he didn't want people seeing him date a weird goth chick. Dumped him right then.
Ex wife started an argument with me one morning when I was headed to the funeral of a childhood friend. I asked if she could not do this right now. Her response was “ohhhh, poor you.” That was the beginning of the end.
She had been abusive the whole relationship and had successfully isolated me from all my friends. Except one.
This guy stuck with me through it all, and put up with horrendous amounts of s**t that I should never have let happen.
She tried everything. She bullied him, called him a pedo, told me she can’t be with someone who has him as a friend, called him racist, everything she could drive him away or pull me away. I didn’t understand what was happening but he did. I thought I was just unlucky enough that the two people I loved most couldn’t understand each other.
Then she gave me an ultimatum. Either she is going to be at our wedding or he is.
I picked him.
I had just found out my dog had a tumor and he needed surgery to remove it. About 2-3 hours after finding out the news and telling my ex she thought it was a great time to try and pressure me into making vacation plans for her spring break a few months out because we were running out of time to make them. I had no clue how much the surgery was going to cost or if there would be other treatments besides surgery at that point. Since she was in grad school the expectation was I’d pay for the majority of said vacation due to the difference in our income too… There was a very big OH HELL NAH moment where I lost my s**t and let me know I didn’t give a f**k about her spring break and the only thing that mattered was my dogs health and safety. She’s now gone, my dogs healthy, and I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time!
I was sitting on the couch feeling like I was going to die after a medical procedure when she decided it would be the perfect time to try and punch me in the head because I wasn't paying enough attention to her. I picked her dumb a*s up, carried her down six flights of stairs while getting kicked, bit, punched in the head etc and dumped her outside of the building. Went back up to the garage and drove myself straight to the hospital.
I was dying from sepsis as it turned out. I was in the ICU for a week, needed six surgeries and two years to recover. I have permanent kidney damage.
When I had been the sole breadwinner for fifteen months (then-husband was physically and mentally healthy), deeply in debt, house was always filthy, hadn't hung out with my friends in a year, and hadn't been intimate for a few months.
I was standing on a chair tying a noose to an I-beam in the basement when it occurred to me that I was basically letting this guy kill me. So I walked instead.
I was in a 5 yr relationship with this guy that was psychologically abusive. One year, my sister in law was having pregnancy complications so my family all decided to go to their house for Christmas so she didn't have to travel the 5 hrs to get to us. I told my bf and he said "well obvious you're not going". Turns out not getting to see my family on Christmas was just the push I needed.
Found a stack of papers sort of stashed in my ex's stuff. It was every email from my gmail account printed out so she could read them at work or something I guess. I dunno, it was weird. It didn't work out.
I was on a trip out of town with him and we were out to dinner with one of his friends. I can’t remember what we were talking about, but he said something and I corrected him because what he said was factually wrong. When he tried to argue his friend backed me up and also pointed out that he was wrong. This enraged him, though at the time I didn’t know it.
He waited until his friend went to the bathroom and then grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled my head down so forcefully it hit the seat of the booth. He’d been a raging a*****e for most of the relationship and I was pretty much over the relationship at this point due to his constant temper tantrums but this crossed such a line that I was completely stunned. Even more stunned that no one in a crowded restaurant seemed to notice or care. I’ve never been so scared.
I knew in that moment that if I stayed and left that restaurant with him there was a very likely chance he was going to hurt me. It took me a few minutes to process/gather myself, but I realized this s**t was beyond f****d and I had to gtfo now. I excused myself to the bathroom, called an Uber, and went straight to the airport which was only a few minutes away. I told the agent I needed the soonest flight to my home city— there was one leaving in 15 minutes. I had none of my stuff, the airport was empty and I think she could sense my urgency so she called the gate and I made on the plane. By the time my phone began ringing from him realizing I was gone I was buckling my seat.
Found him lurking near my house a few times after that but made it real clear I would go to the police full force if it continued, which luckily scared him off. It took me a long time to process everything and I still get spooked when I see vehicles like his, but I’m super grateful I made it out when I did.
It was already heading down that way, but what got me was one day when he invited his friend to my house (without telling me, while I was at work), and when I came home, they started talking about my cat who they thought should put down because she was 'feral' and given the chance they would do so.
They claimed she was 'feral' simply because she spent the first weeks of her life outside before she had her leg amputated and found her way to me. Ex didn't like her because 1. I'd gotten her when I was with a previous ex, and 2. she was mean to him because she didn't like the way he handled her and never listened to her warnings to leave her alone.
He owed me about $3500, most of which I owed to my parents because he used to manipulate me into asking them for money so we could buy weed. After over two and a half years of paying for every good time we ever had, constantly stressing over money and getting nothing in return, I was close to giving up on him anyway. Then we went out after work for drinks and he won $100 on the pokies. I had been buying his beers all night so I asked him to shout me ONE back. He said no.
Got home, started cooking us dinner as I always did. I got halfway through chopping the garlic and thought, why the f**k am I still doing this for him!? Put my knife down, looked him dead in the eyes and told him to get the f**k outta my house. Almost three years by that point and it took me less than 5 minutes to end it.
There was a lot of c**p but this was the final straw.
I locked the door before going to bed one night when he was out late with friends. He had lost his house key and never bothered to mention it, which was somehow my fault.
He woke me up by banging on the window and when I let him in began screaming and throwing things at me. Telling me to pack up my s**t and leave and locked me out of our bedroom. I slept on the couch.
Next morning he acted completely normal, like nothing had happened. I was gone that day because I no longer felt safe.
I had just been medically discharged from the navy (honorable, and not relative to back story other than to set mood).
I started dating a girl I met around 2 weeks after returning home and 6months into the relationship she developed a tumor (cancer) and I had to drive her to radiation therapy and doctors appointments 2-3 times a week.
We lived around an hour apart but we made it work and I’d drive to her after I got out of college classes and drop her off at her appointments, go back to another class and then come pick her up and take her home.
Fast forward a year later into the relationship her younger sister informed me that she had been lying to me the entire time and that she in fact did not have cancer but was using me to drop her off to her side piece who worked at the hospital. To make it worse, both of her parents knew about it and neither felt it was necessary to inform me.
Never saw her again, never even really “ended” it, just never f*****g went back her way and have been better for it ever since.
Edit : Answering a few questions.
1. I verified by visiting the hospital AFTER her sister had informed me, that was when I learned that her parents had known because I was informed that they sometimes picked her up with her side piece (I guess he didn’t have a car either?) and that the hospital staff just thought I was her brother…
Sub-edit to #1 for clarification : I asked the front desk clerk/nurse on a day that I would have normally dropped my Ex off if she had been in that day for her appointment, that’s when she informed me that she didn’t have any appointments and wasn’t a patient, yes, the nurse violated HIPAA by providing that information.
2. Physical symptoms, she had issues with hair falling out and patchy areas and she was exhausted what seemed like 24/7.
He admitted he and his family belonged to a hate group and said the Holocaust was a Jewish media myth. I’m not Jewish but my dad was helping smuggle Jews out of Warsaw and got caught and sent to a camp. He had a tattoo just like the Jewish victims. Don’t try to tell me it was a lie.
I woke up at 3am to my partner of 11 years muttering at me when he thought I was asleep.
His tone was so dark and disturbing I felt that if I hadn't woken up to hear him I may not have woken up at all.
He wasnt loud so maybe it was the way he was speaking that made me wake up like I did but my brain was immediately on high alert. I snapped awake and alert in an instant and just knew that I should just stay still and quiet and not let him know I was awake.
What came out of him where all sorts of wild accusatory delusions spat at me with so much venom that 6 years later I still clearly remember the feeling of dread that washed over me. My whole body was weighed down with it.
Our relationship wasn't a great one by any means but it was the first time I genuinely felt afraid of what he would do. I was afraid to speak up but also afraid that if I stayed quiet and let him keep on his rambling that it could progress into something worse and if it came to it I could never have fought him off.
That's when it really clicked to me how seriously he needed professional intervention and that I was not only unable to help him but also that I needed to get out from under the same roof as him as soon as possible.
Paranoid schizophrenia is a b***h and the available mental health care in our area is a joke.
She went on vacation to have a spiritual awakening by doing drugs in the jungle and came home accusing me of being a demon.
He told me that a few years before we met, he and his friends secretly filmed a girl that I knew (but I didn’t like her so I guess he felt safe telling me for some stupid reason) while she was in the shower. He even went through certain things that she did, like slipping (they were at senior week and “she was SO DRUNK”, like that makes it okay- oh and THEY WERE ALL DRUNK TOO so make it make sense). He was obviously super proud of himself and thought it was hilarious. I was so disgusted with him and his shi**y friends. And yes, I told her about it.
My fiancee cheated on me and got pregnant, then told me "You never did anything to prove you really love me"
She asked me to prove my love for her by accepting the baby she got from cheating on me.
I asked her to leave - this was my home, my name only was on the lease. She refused to go.
So I gave my notice to the landlords, moved out and told her she had two weeks left.
"But what am I supposed to do? I don't have a job!" she wailed.
Not my problem.
She's a single mum now.
He got physically aggressive with my eldest daughter. I left the next day with both of my kids.
I got married young, basically military pushed us into it
It was ending anyway but we moved home and since I was around my support people and back in a place I was comfortable I thought maybe we would work on it
Went to his house once to see him, our dog who was so well behaved he would pout if he did something he shouldn't was in a crate. His bed was heavy it was so full of pee.
I opened the crate, put the dog in the car, told the husband to f**k off.
My dog turns 12 this year. He isn't doing too well, I'm glad we spent the last 11 years without that moron.
When i started talking/texting her less cuz i had university exams coming up so she said that i was prioritising my studies/future over her
U bet ur sweet a*s im doing just that
I dated a guy long enough to become close with his family, and one day we were having dinner at his house and his mom asks me (at the table with the family) how I liked this new restaurant in the area as if I’d been there. When I said I hadn’t been there yet, she said “oh I thought that’s where you two went last weekend?” We had not gone out that weekend, and that’s how I found out he was dating other girls and telling his mother he was going out with me.
The “hell nah” part was that he could lie so easily to his mom and that she believed him - if a guy treats his mom like s**t he’s not going to respect his wife either.
She crawled through my doggie door at 1:30 am, went through my phone, and then asked me why I was talking to another woman.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I broke up with her a month earlier. We were not in a relationship when she pulled that stunt.
Came home from work. She was in the kitchen happily making us dinner. Went to bathroom. Was in the middle of washing my hands when I thought of something I had to tell her (untreated adhd) as I come around the corner I juuuust barely see her drop something into my bowl. Like her hand was cupped over it and she slipped something in it. And it just looked sketchy as f**k. She didn’t see me see her so I just walked back into the bathroom. Finished washing my hands. Told her thank you so much for making me dinner but I just wasn’t hungry. Then I spent most of the night awake thinking what the f**k did I just see her trying to do? Around three AM I’m convincing myself I imagined it and that I just need to get up, and go pee, and get some sleep. And then my very next thought was, man my penis really itches.
I went up to the clinic the very next day, got tested for STDs just to confirm what I already suspected. Positive for chlamydia. It was the antibiotic. That’s what she put into the soup she made me.
Called my sister. Told her I needed to stay with her for a few weeks. Went home. Packed up 1 backpack full of the absolute essentials and a trash bag for all my clothes. Threw both in the car. Went back in and said “I know you cheated on me and there is no sense in denying it. When we started getting serious I told you that I could compromise on just about everything. But cheating was something I could never under any circumstances get past. That if you cheated on me, there would be no discussion, no explanations, no working it out. I wouldn’t leave angry, but I’d just leave. Because the relationship is now over. So goodbye, tell your kids whatever you want to.” (She had two kids from a previous marriage.)
Blocked all her communication on my way to my sisters. Told her what happened when I got there and we stayed up all night drinking and crying and laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. She cheated on me, infected me, then tried to cure me so I’d never know! which crazily enough probably would have worked except I just happened to see her do it. Something that never should have happened because what kind of lunatic just leaves the bathroom in the middle of washing their hands to tell someone they live with something. 😂. I was weeks from proposing to this woman. And then… Sometimes people talk about moments that define their lives. Or days that they will never forget. The most important days of their lives. How about seconds? *one second.* that’s about how long of a window I had to watch her put the antibiotic into my food and slink backward into the bathroom without her seeing me. On either side of that one second window my life would possibly be very different… it’s just so crazy to think about.
We were watching t.v. and I was laying on my stomach beside her on my bed. She poked my butt and I asked her not to. I tickle easily. A few moments later she did it again but poked my butthole. I jerked and grabbed her arm. It was involuntary and a reflex... You know... How people react when tickled or poked in a sensitive area without warning.
I was frustrated and when she realized I was not enjoying the ordeal she began to accuse me of hitting her. We were 19. I decided I should just take her home since the mood was kind of off and I wasn't sure what to make of her accusation. As I'm driving her home we are discussing everything and she says she's going to tell her dad I hit her.
I slammed my brakes and told her that hitting her was the furthest thing from the truth and that we both know it. Told her to get the f**k out. She quickly apologized after seeing I wasn't about to play the game. I drove her home for the last time.
When your partner starts making stuff up that can affect your life... OH HELL NAH
Straw that broke the camel’s back was when I grabbed an Oreo out of the package and he said, “Do you *really* think you need that?”
She f****d multiple other people and when confronted she physically assaulted me. I walked out the door with her following and smacking me in the back of the head.
Best thing that ever happened to me. Taught me how to appreciate decent people and to not compromise my own comfort to excuse others sh**ty behavior.
The relationship that followed that one has lasted 24 happy years.
I dated a guy who’s ex left him randomly one morning, kissed her goodbye for work and came back and her s**t was gone. Changed her number, and moved back home. He never talked to her again, I thought it was super sad and messed up for what she did. He use to wake up in the morning crying over her, I pathetically just comforted him. But one day I woke up to him emailing his ex girlfriends mother saying he was going to come down to Seattle and kill them all! It wasn’t much later I found out he was served a restraining order from the family. Now I see why she left without saying goodbye.
I’ve talked about this before but I had a real Karen of an ex who was easily the meanest person I’ve ever met. The turning point for me in the relationship was when she made me rehome one of my dogs when I lived with her, she claimed after four months of me living with her that her lease wouldn’t allow it. So I tearfully rehomed my German Shepard chow mix and got called a little bit for bawling like a baby when I did it by my ex. The next week I’m chilling in the house when In walks my ex with a basset hound. I asked her about her lease and she straight up told me she lied about that because she hated my big dog, the same one both of her kids loved. At the time an apartment was out of the question due to my horrible credit so I bought a camper and moved it onto my parents property shortly after. Im now in an amazing relationship with someone just as goofy as me and we’re currently house hunting!
I was in a car accident with a friend. When I called to tell my SO that we had been in an accident, the car was totaled, and I had just been released from the ER…he LAUGHED because my friend’s car wasn’t even paid off yet and “sucks to be him”.
Nah. Just nah.
I caught her banging the guy she picked to be my best man on the preacher's desk on our wedding day.
When I was 16/17, I dated a guy who was in town for the summer. He was so cool (I thought) and I had a car so I would drive us on dates and junk. He really made my heart flutter. If I said no to him, he'd get upset a bit, but it didn't seem to be a huge issue. Like, if he wanted me to drive him somewhere to drop him off to hang with his friends, normally I would but a few times, it was like a 30min drive and I said no.
Then he hit me once. We were in the car and he wanted me to drop him off at a girl's house and I asked why. He wouldn't really answer and then admitted that he was using me for my drug connections and my car. I was surprised and said no. I'd drop him off where he was staying and then we were done. He hit me. I pulled over and kicked him out of my car and drove away.
My ex boyfriend was angry his mom woke him up at 10 in the morning via phone call, so after the call, he punched a hole in his door, threw his phone at the window, woke me up forcefully, and yelled at me to buy a new door so his parents wouldn’t kick him out.
He refused to use soap. Yes, this includes hand soap. He believed that water and scrubbing was enough to keep yourself clean and it was important not to strip your body of its natural oils. I must admit, he did have really nice hair and skin but he always smelled bad and I could not get over the fact that he didn’t even use soap after using the bathroom. I have no clue what he does if his hands get sticky or really dirty, I didn’t stick around long enough to find out. Thankfully we never got physical or made it official, but we “talked” and went on dates for a month and I still get the ick when I think about him.
When he was polyamorous (literally dating other people) but got super upset and jealous when I would hug my friends.
I was 2 weeks away from getting married and then my fiance dropped a bombshell on me. We had talked at length about future plans, career ideas, her wanting to leave her current job and return to working as a nurse, etc.. but then she suddenly announced that she had handed in her 2-week notice and was done working for good. Her exact reasoning was that, well, eventually she would have to take time off anyway if/when we had kids. So for now, she was going to play housewife, not work at all, and just do the cooking/laundry for me that I've already gladly done for myself for years.
There were a lot of one-sided mental health issues and emotional abuse in that relationship, especially from the day we got engaged. I foolishly kept hoping that things might get better after the marriage, nothing permanent/un-fixable had happened. But quitting work and openly admitting to denying all our plans for the future? She did me a favour then.
In a gay situationship.
He wanted me to start taking estrogen/transgender drugs to "have a more feminine physique" and become a femboy.
I didn't think I would ever be stupid enough to be love bombed and gaslit until it happened to me. Had a whirlwind relationship with a guy who manipulated me so quickly that I was lying about spending time with my own friends and family b/c I knew he'd be upset that I wasn't spending it with him. It was finally like a lightbulb clicked on in my brain that I realized he was nuts and I was an idiot for putting myself through his chaos and I blocked him on everything, wrote him a break up letter/email, and never heard from him again. He tried to contact my sister on Instagram and she blocked him too. Luckily I was in the process of moving as well so he couldn't find me and murder me or anything.
She stole my car, drove it from Washington to Las Vegas, and married a guy she met on Xbox Live so he could get residence.
(For clarification, this was a strictly online relationship). This one’s weird. He described a fantasy of his to me in which I was his daughter, once he impregnated me, he would impregnate that child when they got their period, and so on and so forth. Took me 2 months to finally leave, but that was the point where I became scared of him.
Did I mention I was 14 and he was 30
When he made new female friends that I wasn’t allowed to meet/talk to.
She cut herself in front of me to see if I’d cry about it.
I noticed I was always trying to be asleep by the time she got back from drinking and that was cause she would regularly black out and get mean (not in a sexy way) with me.
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