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“This Is What Bravery Feels Like”: 77 Pieces Of Oddly Specific Parenting Advice To Write Down And Try
Raising kids, as rewarding as it is, is full of challenges that you might not even see coming. As a parent, you might feel exhausted and overwhelmed, as if you have to juggle a hundred different tasks each day. So, it helps to know that you’re not alone in this. There’s a whole world of parents out there ready to support you.
Comedian Joe Dombrowski recently sparked an interesting viral discussion on Threads after inviting everyone to share their “oddly specific” parenting advice. These are the types of tips that feel fresh, unique, and bizarrely helpful, and we’re featuring some of the best ones with you today. Scroll down to check them out, and make sure that you’re taking notes! We’re pretty sure you’ll want to test a few of these out ASAP.
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#1
If you don’t want your child to be gay, trans, et al - don’t have kids. This isn’t Build-A-Bear. You don’t get to pick and choose anything about your child. Parents love their children unconditionally and accept who they know themselves to be.
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#2
Ignore untrained busybodies who tell you that vaccines are poison, or ineffective or cause autism. They are safe and effective.
Hopeful Pagan 4 hours ago
Also do your own research and don't follow those old wives tales that your mother-in-law tries to impose on you or your kids.
#3
When your kid is nervous about doing something, but does it anyway, tell them in the moment, "This is what bravery feels like. It feels like still being nervous." This helps break the narrative that you'll "feel brave" before doing something brave.
nottheactualphoto 12 hours ago
That's exactly the definition of bravery. You're afraid, but do the thing anyway.
One of the most important things to know about becoming a parent is that you should set any ideas of ‘perfect parenting’ aside. You do the best that you can. You learn while ‘on the job.’ And if you ever need support, you can always rely on your partner, family, friends, and the internet for help. It is empowering to know that other people have been in your shoes and have faced and overcome the same challenges that you’re struggling with now.
As the BBC points out, new parents put a lot of pressure on themselves, so it’s important to learn to ease up. Being a parent doesn’t come easily to anyone (no matter how picture-perfect their parenting social media account might look). It’s also important that you take on other people’s advice and read up on parenting, but at the end of the day, trust your instincts and have faith in your own judgment.
#4
I had all my close relatives and friends write a letter to my kid on their 1st birthday, to be opened on their 18th. By that time, 4 of the elders had passed. When we opened them, it was incredible and now my kid has them forever.
Spencers slave no more 15 hours ago
This is something I never considered. I'm going to do this for my grandkids so they know I always loved and enjoyed spending time with them.
#5
Use the real names for body parts
nottheactualphoto 12 hours ago
As seen in the other comments, many of the real names are considered evil by BP.
#6
If you have a baby or toddler keep a full change of clothes for the whole family in the trunk of your car. Just trust me.
Furthermore, it’s vital that you constantly communicate and (re)connect with your significant other. You should find ways to share your parenting duties, plan things together, and let each other rest because you’re both exhausted. It’s important to remember here that nobody is a mind-reader and you need to get good at asking for help, instead of keeping your partner guessing about your wants, needs, and struggles.
Meanwhile, take some time to actively reach out to other parents who are in the same situation as you are. Connecting with other new parents helps you stay social and exchange parenting tips.
#7
Ignore untrained busybodies who tell you that vaccines are poison, or ineffective or cause autism. They are safe and effective.
#8
Whenever you go to a store where you type in your phone number on a pad for rewards, have your toddler do it. Coach them through it.
They will memorize your phone number in no time.
nottheactualphoto 12 hours ago
When I was a kid, we were made to memorize our address and phone number. Most parents did that.
#9
If you see your toddler walking by with a step stool do NOT ignore it. Nothing good can come from that scenario.
Good sleep is a fundamental part of your physical and mental health. If it suffers, it has knock-on effects throughout your entire life.
The NHS suggests that new parents try to rest whenever their baby sleeps. “It might be tempting to use this time to catch up with housework or other chores, but sometimes getting rest is more important. Set an alarm if you're worried about sleeping for too long.”
Moreover, try to go to bed earlier every night. And if you have a partner, share the night feeding between both of you.
#10
When you are driving them around, do not play kiddie music. Play your music. It is a sanity saver.
You’ll hear enough little kid music and soundtracks in your house. In your car, you teach them about the time Stevie Nicks wrote “Silver Springs” about her ex and then made him play it on stage.
Spencers slave no more 15 hours ago
My 2 listened to so many different genres of music but Alice Cooper, Queen, Enya and Andrea Bocelli stuck with them. Alice Cooper's "P o i s o n" is their anthem.
#11
When your kids get to elementary age buy one kind of sock. No patterns. No colors. ONE Kind. Saves you hours and $ in trying to keep socks matches
Littlemiss 14 hours ago
I gave up, he chose mismatched socks for fun. As long as there were enough socks to wear, without holes, it was fake game
#12
Don’t lie to your kids about “trivial” things. Not only are you setting yourself up to be mistrusted, but you’re skipping all of the little opportunities to help your kid practice boundaries and emotional regulation. I.e. The park isn’t “closed,” you just don’t want to go, and sometimes we don’t go because I don’t want to and that’s okay.
karen snyder 14 hours ago
Thank you!!! Being lied to feels bad at any age. When they find out they've been tricked it creates a distrust relationship that effects every decision they make to be honest with you.
It’s also not a sign of weakness to ask for help. You can ask a family member or friend to temporarily babysit while you catch up on some sleep.
In the meantime, sleep aside, remember to take care of the other aspects of your health, like getting enough exercise, eating nutritious food, staying hydrated, and having (some sort of) a social life.
“When you're feeling tired, doing more exercise may be the last thing you feel like doing. But regular exercise can help you feel less tired. Walking is one of the easiest forms of exercise. Try to get out for a walk every day with your baby, even if it's just to the shops.
#13
When your toddler is losing their mind, put your hand in front of their mouth and tell them to blow your hand away. Theatrically move your hand a little bit and tell them they have to take a bigger breath to blow it away. This forces them to take deep breaths and allows them to calm their body down so you can eventually talk to them about their big feelings.
#14
Take them to the places you want them to know how to behave in. Love fancy dinners? Bring them. Love travel? Bring them. People will tolerate a toddler learning how to behave in public but will not tolerate a 5yo learning the same.
patricia patricia 8 hours ago
I think most people will understand normal behaviour even if it's annoying. A baby crying on a plane can be annoying AF, but it's nobody's fault. However, a five year old running along the aisles and screaming at the tip of their voice, or a teenager playing video games with the sound on, it's definitely the parents' fault, and makes the rest of us feel murderous.
#15
When they need to split something, like the last cookie- Have one of them cut it in half, and the other one picks which half they want. I promise you, this stops so many “it’s not fair” fights.
In your personal experience, what are the biggest challenges that you’ve had to overcome in raising your kids? On the flip side, what are the best parts of being a parent?
What advice would you give anyone who’s a new parent and feels completely exhausted and utterly overwhelmed? What do you wish your partner would ‘get’ to help you get on the same page?
Feel free to vent and share your parenting hacks in the comments down below!
#16
I have three: 1) Make thrift stores the coolest places to buy clothes & household decor, 2) cook w/ them often & encourage safe kitchen behaviors, & 3) encourage 1 long term skill like baking, sewing, or repairing things. - Signed a mom of 4
#17
Do not equate food with emotions. “You won the big game! Lets get pizza!” “You’re sad, lets get chocolate and ice cream.” “It hurts grandma’s feelings if you don’t eat seconds.”
patricia patricia 8 hours ago
Food has always been associated with celebrations, in every culture. There's nothing wrong with it if it's done right. However, teaching kids they are responsible for other people's feelings is sick. It should never be tolerated or encouraged. If grandma's feelings are hurt if the kid doesn't eat seconds, or if they don't want to study music or wear pink, fúck grandma. It's grandma's problem and she should get her own life and stop manipulating people around her.
#19
don’t lose yourself in motherhood. you’re raising someone else’s husband, father, friend, business partner, colleague, etc. they’re not yours. they will leave you one day. make sure you don’t forget to pour into the woman you were before motherhood.
Norfolk and good 8 hours ago
These are the women that become nightmare Mothers-in-law. Their whole entire sense of identity and purpose is being a mother so they have a meltdown when their baby loves another woman more than them.
#20
Practice opening lunch containers by using them at home before they take them to school, etc. Opening AND closing.
#21
Your kid is new at being a person. Remember that this is their first time doing so many things and it's unfair to be impatient with them that they don't get it right away. Remind yourself that they are new people.
#22
Boost your child’s confidence every chance you get. Not just when they do something big, but in the small moments too… because how you speak to them is how they’ll learn to speak to themselves.
#23
Don’t get an Elf.
Kristiina Männiste 13 hours ago
We have a different problem in Estonia. In Estonia Santa is helped by toe-talls (päkapikud), called so, because they are as tall as an adults toe, but look like cross between LOTR dwarves and american elves. The problem is, that the toe-talls do the surveillance and reconnaissance for Santa AND bring little presents for good children EVERY DAY from 1st of December until Christmas eve. So parents have to stock up on candy and small toys and sneak them into the slippers left for toe-talls. Adding the traditional bags of candy kids get from kindergarten/school and their parents employers and the candy advent calendars, most Estonian children are 60% chocolate by the time Christmas eve arrives.
#24
Make a distinction between “plans” and “promises”. And do not break your promises.
Giraffe Sitter 6 hours ago
To quote Everclear: “promises mean everything when you’re little and the world is so big”.
#25
Do NOT avoid goodbyes. DONT “sneak away” when leaving them with a baby sitter so they won’t notice and “be happier” Always say goodbye and do it happily, goodbye to the TV, goodbye to the toy they have to leave home, goodbye to the store you’re leaving, etc. then goodbyes aren’t anxious! For all 3 of my kids worked like a charm vs other toddlers/littles their age
OneHappyPuppy 1 hour ago
My husband travels often for work. A day, two or three, depends. He draws a calendar for our son with when he's leaving and when he'll be back. It doesn't stop the crying when he's leaving, but it does give a sense of peace because he knows when he's coming back.
#26
Give your kid a weirdly specific job at family gatherings like “official olive distributor.” My 5 yerra old can already salt a margarita glass like a pro
Spencers slave no more 15 hours ago
My two older grandkids vary between measuring the ingredients and adding them to the breadmaker. Either way, they delight in taking the bread home, especially if it's fruit bread.
#27
TURN CLOSED CAPTIONING ON ✅
Your kid will be reading 3 grades ahead, just trust me.
#28
Stick to a ROUTINE vs SCHEDULE! Schedules are bound by a clock. Routines are formed by knowing what to expect next no matter what time the clock says.
Funderthuck 3 hours ago
My son has the same routine every morning. We get out the door on time because he knows what's expected of him every day.
#30
Don’t try to make a happy child happier. If they’re content playing in a cardboard box, don’t try to make a trip to the zoo happen.
DrBronxx 14 hours ago
Unless you have plans with other people to go to the zoo, or you've already said you'll go to the zoo today. They may be happy playing with a cardboard box in that minute, but they are fully expecting to go to the zoo as well. Then, after you decide to abandon the zoo plans, they will come to you too late in the day asking "so when are we going to the zoo?"
#31
Prevention of the most common cause of mortality in toddlers is literally sitting next to them and watching them when they are in Any amount of water.
#32
Never go to bed without gas in the car. You never know what the night may bring.
#33
It could be chocolate or poop, but always clean it up as if it's poop.
#34
Don’t let on to your kids that batteries in toys can be replaced. When the original batteries die, they become “quiet toys” and that’s that.
#36
Keep a running note of all the insane and funny stuff your kids say, with ages. I have a list almost 8 years long and I love going back a reading it
#37
Until they go to school they have no concept of what is popular. You can make them like your bad old shows and music.
#38
Kids have a double life. Monitor it but respect it.
#39
Teach your tiny children to play Marco Polo as soon as they are verbal. If you lose them (in the house, in the store, in the library, at church), just yell out "MARCO!" and they'll yell "POLO", even if they're hiding. I found mine in the foot well of the church pipe organ.
#40
When they say a word wrong please record them because you'll miss it when it's gone.
#41
When you threaten to “turn this car around and go home” make sure to act like you’re about to press this button.
#42
Use a pool noodle under the fitted sheet along the edge of a bed to help with roll-offs when learning to sleep in a big-kid bed. Low enough they can get out if they need to, but usually enough of a bump that they don’t roll onto the floor.
#43
frozen peas are a perfectly acceptable snack, toddlers love em. Frozen waffles, same
thing. We just caled everything "Elsa ___" and the kids requested it constantly.
nottheactualphoto 12 hours ago
We were talking about cooking in the presence of a bored toddler. Somebody mentioned frozen vegetables, and the little girl instantly perked up and said "FROZEN?"
#45
Two sets of sheets on the bed- waterproof sheet, fitted sheet, waterproof sheet, fitted sheet.
#46
Don't send them to school in 'tie shoes" until they can reliably tie them, themselves. Always empty the littlest one's pockets OUTSIDE. Trust me on this
#47
“Do you want advice or do you want me to listen?”
#48
If you are exhausted at bedtime and reading aloud to a non-reader, most Bernstain Bears books still make sense if you only read the first sentence on each page.
#49
Of your kids won't eat "broken food" tell them the only way to put it back together is to put all the pieces in their tummy.
nottheactualphoto 12 hours ago
My mom used to say that it's all in one piece in your stomach. (Real names for body parts; there is no "tummy.")
#50
When you are driving t(w)eens around, fade the music to the back and then turn up the volume… They will think you can’t hear them and will speak more loudly. The intel is STAGGERING.
#51
Keep a bag of craft supplies (with googly eyes) and construction paper/poster board. So when your kid tells you at 7:45pm they have a project due the next day, you’re not doing a late evening craft run. I say this as a mom of boys.
patricia patricia 8 hours ago
This should be tolerated only once. The second time they "forget"... they should go to school without the project and face the consequences. It won't happen again. anyway, I don't understand why parents tolerate so much b******t from school, but there's no point in becoming your kids' PA.
#52
If you’re going on a trip with multiple overnight stops, pack a suitcase by day, not by person. Then when you get to the hotel late at night, you haul one bag to the room with everybody’s stuff in it for the night+the next day. “Wednesday suitcase” “Thursday suitcase” etc. Same when flying, so if luggage gets lost, it’s one day’s worth, not one person now has nothing.
karen snyder 15 hours ago
I don't think this is reasonable advice. My kids and my husband and I wear the same stuff multiple times, like pajamas, slippers, hats, sweatshirts/jackets, bathing suits and flip flops, etc. also, we all have separate toiletries, electronics, books, etc. And, I'm not gonna pack three pairs of socks and underwear in each suitcase for accidents. And, who has room for 7 suitcases in their car for a week long road trip? This is a solution where there isn't really a problem.
#53
Buy all the healthy snacks and say they can’t have any because they’re yours. Now they will be eating healthy snacks. You’re welcome.
#54
Do not EVER assume they want you to peel their bananas
Doug Moyer 5 hours ago
Teach them to peel the bananas like apes do - from the bottom. So much easier, especially for a child.
#56
I taught my daughter to drive in the cemetery. Slow winding roads & everyone is already dead.
karen snyder 15 hours ago
This is not what cemeteries are for. Please teach your kids a little more respect. No one wants to see a teenager learning how to parallel park while saying goodbye to grandma. Use a big, empty parking lot like the rest of the people who have a modicum of decency.
#57
If you have to take a little kid on a flight, have one or two surprise presents (like an action figure or a car) that you don’t reveal to them until they start to get restless.
Auntriarch 4 hours ago
My grandmother used to make me up a shoe box of stuff which I could open half way through the journey
#58
If you plan to do something with them (zoo, trip somewhere, even ice cream shop) and you want to surprise them, tell them about it ON THE DAY OF. They’ll still be surprised, but you’ll avoid being asked every day “how many days left”, “ how many hours?” Etc
DrBronxx 13 hours ago
On the other hand, if you have a big trip coming up and you're worried about your small child travelling, put a calendar on the wall and do a countdown. Then, have your child cross off each day as they pass. We did it for our child when going to Disneyland. She crossed off each day before she went to bed. It also got her excited for Disneyland, and made the journey there much easier. The journey home after was harder, but that's why we had Disney Plus on a tablet for her. That's another piece of advice - if you are bringing a tablet to keep your child occupied, put off using it until you absolutely need it. Our rule is only for the trip home. It's a rule that can be broken, but if we do our job and our child is excited for the trip, we won't need to break it.
#60
Tell them that your favorite part of the parent-teacher conference was when the teacher said you were a good friend.
#61
Get good at being silly when you're mad, or sad, or exhausted. Turning what could be a snappy response into a silly game will save you a lot of drama
#62
There will be a time when life will be lifeing for your kid, you’ll know they need a “win” and that’s when you break a BIG rule. For us it was icecream or cake for breakfast. Yes, it’s unhealthy and no you can’t do it all the time, the point is the feeling of “breaking a rule” is going to overshadow the losses. We can teach our children how to bend and not break. But I don’t know, pray about it.
#63
Make hard transitions in the summer. Drop the paci, potty train, big kid bed… daylight helps on hard days. Summer has more daylight.
#64
If they poo their pants, just throw the underwear away. Don’t torture yourself by trying to rinse them out and clean them
Doug Moyer 5 hours ago
That's a ridiculous idea. A little p*o won't k**l you. I hate how disposable society has become.
#65
A friend whose kids started hitting each other during disagreements were limited to “one sibling smack per day”. They ended up negotiating with each other about how strongly they felt about said argument and collectively deciding whether it was “worth the hit.”
#66
Do not let the children apply magnetiles to their braces
#68
Once in a while, It’s ok to allow your child to eat leftover pizza as breakfast.
#69
1. When your kids are little play your music in the car your sanity will thank you later. 2. ALWAYS carry an extra outfit, diapers, wipes, and cream in the car. You just never know even with a diaper bag. 3. Silence when everyone is awake means someone is up to no good. I promise you. 4. Routines are better than schedules, we know the order of what comes next rather than exact times to do them= less stress 5. You can make most healthy foods look like junk food while keeping it healthy.
#70
For as long as you’re able, if you’re in situation where your kid is going to order an icee or a popsicle or a shave ice, order the clear (white raspberry or birthday cake) option. No food dye, and much easier on your laundry.
#71
Oh! When your kid starts kindergarten, go to the thrift store and buy an adult-size Hawaiian shirt. You’re going to need a Hawaiian shirt at least three or four times a year for the next thirteen years, just buy one they can grow into.
#73
If your toddler is arching their back while you’re trying to put them in the car seat, say, “Hiya!” as you lightly karate chop them at the waistline. They fold right in half.
Spencers slave no more 14 hours ago (edited)
Why not just involve them in buckling up for safety instead of introducing a karate move? 3 year olds know what safety is, IF you teach them.
#74
If you can, buy a house as close as you can to the high school. No matter what extra curricular activities your teen does, you will be at that school for drop offs and pickups ALL.THE.TIME and at ALL HOURS.
#75
Whenever you go to a store where you type in your phone number on a pad for rewards, have your toddler do it. Coach them through it. They will memorize your phone number in no time.
#76
Santa brings 2-3 presents per kid and game and art project for kids to share, and parents do everything else including any big ticket items. Wrap it all in Santa paper that you hide from kids.
#77
Turn vegetables into a food race. "Who can eat their asparagus the fastest??? Ready, go!"
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What do you think ?
Littlemiss 13 hours ago
Sit and listen to your children. They won't remember the toys you gave them, or the flashy cŕàp you spent extra hours working to afford. They will remember the time you sat and played, listened, read books to, and were present with them. Or the lack thereof.
KatInAHat 3 hours ago
Speak to your children respectfully from day one. Use please, thank you, excuse me, and I'm sorry just as you would with an adult. Your child will learn to speak in the same manner to others and will also appreciate being respected like their adult counterparts.
Edward Loopyderm 1 hour ago
I never spoke to my kids in baby talk. Small words first, bigger words for bigger concepts. Treat them like small adults
Load More Replies... Doug Moyer 5 hours ago
Get your kids involved in any adult project that you're doing. (Not giving them access to power tools or other dangerous bits, of course!) My kids always felt so proud to be involved when I built something (for example the two story "castle" playground...)
B.Nelson 1 hour ago
We taught our nephews how to use a paintbrush, gave them oversized shirts, and let them help paint the living room.
Load More Replies... Littlemiss 13 hours ago
Sit and listen to your children. They won't remember the toys you gave them, or the flashy cŕàp you spent extra hours working to afford. They will remember the time you sat and played, listened, read books to, and were present with them. Or the lack thereof.
KatInAHat 3 hours ago
Speak to your children respectfully from day one. Use please, thank you, excuse me, and I'm sorry just as you would with an adult. Your child will learn to speak in the same manner to others and will also appreciate being respected like their adult counterparts.
Edward Loopyderm 1 hour ago
I never spoke to my kids in baby talk. Small words first, bigger words for bigger concepts. Treat them like small adults
Load More Replies... Doug Moyer 5 hours ago
Get your kids involved in any adult project that you're doing. (Not giving them access to power tools or other dangerous bits, of course!) My kids always felt so proud to be involved when I built something (for example the two story "castle" playground...)
B.Nelson 1 hour ago
We taught our nephews how to use a paintbrush, gave them oversized shirts, and let them help paint the living room.
Load More Replies...
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