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Couple Never Revealed The Birth Of Their 2 Y.O. Daughter, Get Blasted By Their Neglectful Family For Hiding The Kid From Them
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Couple Never Revealed The Birth Of Their 2 Y.O. Daughter, Get Blasted By Their Neglectful Family For Hiding The Kid From Them

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Perhaps you remember Andersen’s famous fairy tale “The Ugly Duckling”? About how the birds on the farm paid absolutely no attention to the strange chick, and then were incredibly shocked when he grew into a beautiful strong swan and left the farm, to everyone’s admiration?

But what if the tale developed differently, and even when the beautiful swan grew up, he was still considered an ugly duckling? And, like in childhood, completely ignored? The great storyteller did not foresee such a plot – though it is, by the way, quite realistic.

For example, just read this popular thread in the AITA Reddit community, which has amassed nearly 13K upvotes and over 1.4K miscellaneous comments – mostly in support of the Original Poster. No, the plot is not quite classic, but it’s no less interesting.

More info: Reddit

The Original Poster and his wife live across the country from his relatives and contact them rarely

Image source: daveynin (not the actual photo)

So, the OP and his wife live across the country from his relatives, and neither of them have sought to communicate regularly, getting together only on rare significant occasions like weddings or funerals.

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Image source: throwawaysecchild

The OP and his wife are deaf from birth and the man was ignored by relatives since his very childhood

The thing is that the OP and his wife are deaf from birth, and while the woman was lucky with relatives, her husband was practically ignored since his childhood. That is, the child was fed, dressed, taken to school – but nothing more. No one tried to make friends with him, to delve into his inner world – and this is actually very insulting.

Image source: throwawaysecchild

The OP’s parents did not even bother to learn sign language to make it easier for him to communicate

What can we talk about, when the parents didn’t even bother to learn sign language so that it would be more convenient for their son to communicate with them? Of course, the OP could talk and read lips, but still, some of the information is lost there.

Moreover, the relatives always, for some reason, considered OP and his wife incapable and not so smart. According to the author of the post, they seriously believed that the husband and wife were living at the expense of the woman’s relatives.

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Image source: throwawaysecchild

The couple decided that they didn’t want any of the husband’s family in their daughter’s life

In the meantime, they both have good jobs with a stable income, travel regularly and are only waiting for the real estate market to cool down in order to buy a house. Moreover, recently, a new reason for this has appeared…

Yes, two years ago, the OP’s wife delivered a daughter, but the parents decided not to advertise this event among his relatives. On the one hand, of course, there are many children of her age there – on the other, the OP and his wife were afraid that if the girl was also born deaf, she would be treated the same as her father was once treated.

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Image source: throwawaysecchild

One day, the OP’s older brother somehow found out that he has a niece

The girl was born without any hearing problems, but her parents did not change their minds. They kept her off social media and lived quietly for two years, until OP’s older brother somehow found out that he had a niece.

We must admit that the OP’s older brother, in his own words, does not have his life together – he works odd jobs, has unstable relationships and regularly mooches off people. Nevertheless, the family somehow considered the man to be a wonderful and very smart person, despite his behavior. And yes, as a child, he treated the OP badly.

Image source: Rad Blondie (not the actual photo)

The relatives blasted the OP for being a selfish snob

So, when the relatives found out that for two whole years, the OP had concealed from them the very fact of the girl’s existence, they were furious. The OP’s wife was chosen as the main antagonist – they say it is she who set her husband against his family, and they would be happy to help raise the child.

However, the OP and his wife believe that in the circle of people who treated their father badly throughout his life, the daughter will not be welcome. Although, being under an avalanche of accusations, the man even wondered to himself whether he is doing the right thing by depriving his daughter of communication with relatives.

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People in the comments not only supported the OP’s decision, but also gave him a lot of advice

All things said, the commenters were unanimously on his side and massively supported such a decision. The OP was asked to think about whether he wants his relatives to try to convince his daughter that her father is incapable before she can understand the difference herself.

 

According to people in the comments, this family is unlikely to help raise a child; the girl is probably only interesting to them because, unlike her father, she can hear. The OP was advised to keep distance, enjoy life and continue to protect his child from them.

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We’re pretty sure you have something to say about this story too, so feel free to express your opinion and we promise to take your comments with all our attention.

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lisahewes avatar
Lisa H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Family is VERY important. So important, that if one's biological family treats one person as stupid, incapable, always doubting them, never encouraging them, then find a new group of people to call family, blood or not. They can be a partner with which you create a family with children, pets, plants, friends, etc. Everyone deserves a supportive family and if the biological family is not it, then friends, pets, spouses can all be a wonderful family.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well said. Aside from my sister, my family were as dysfunctional and selfish as they possibly could be. But when I met my MIL and husbands other family, I realized how a family was supposed to be towards each other. My MIL and her parents never hesitated to accept me into their family and were always encouraging. Because of them, my husband and I are in a good place with our relationship and finances to where we can look out for the rest of his relatives. As for my family, my sister is the only one I have time for and the only one that I would bend over backwards for. The rest can go skip rope.

Load More Replies...
ivanakramaric avatar
Ivana Bašić
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Walked away from all family but three people. My only regret is that I didn't do it earlier.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You and me both. It's like you hold out hope that maybe they will change and be better people by seeing you flourish. But then you realize they will continuously drag you down if you let them. I stopped letting them. Funny thing is, they spent all those years telling me I was a pain and that I should be grateful they even took care of me. Then when I left and cut off connections with them, they suddenly wonder why I never came around or called. Probably because I realized you needed me more than I needed you....

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mzzsada avatar
Sada Singrajphak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I would stay away from them as far as possible. They didn’t want you or your wife in their life, so now that you have a daughter they want to be apart of HER life? What about you guys? Don’t they want to mend things? I highly doubt it. They’re going to sadly brain wash her into thinking you guys are incapable of doing anything right. Your family is so disgusting. I hope OP just live their lives the way they are, without any family members around.

raymond-bille avatar
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lisahewes avatar
Lisa H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Family is VERY important. So important, that if one's biological family treats one person as stupid, incapable, always doubting them, never encouraging them, then find a new group of people to call family, blood or not. They can be a partner with which you create a family with children, pets, plants, friends, etc. Everyone deserves a supportive family and if the biological family is not it, then friends, pets, spouses can all be a wonderful family.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well said. Aside from my sister, my family were as dysfunctional and selfish as they possibly could be. But when I met my MIL and husbands other family, I realized how a family was supposed to be towards each other. My MIL and her parents never hesitated to accept me into their family and were always encouraging. Because of them, my husband and I are in a good place with our relationship and finances to where we can look out for the rest of his relatives. As for my family, my sister is the only one I have time for and the only one that I would bend over backwards for. The rest can go skip rope.

Load More Replies...
ivanakramaric avatar
Ivana Bašić
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Walked away from all family but three people. My only regret is that I didn't do it earlier.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You and me both. It's like you hold out hope that maybe they will change and be better people by seeing you flourish. But then you realize they will continuously drag you down if you let them. I stopped letting them. Funny thing is, they spent all those years telling me I was a pain and that I should be grateful they even took care of me. Then when I left and cut off connections with them, they suddenly wonder why I never came around or called. Probably because I realized you needed me more than I needed you....

Load More Replies...
mzzsada avatar
Sada Singrajphak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I would stay away from them as far as possible. They didn’t want you or your wife in their life, so now that you have a daughter they want to be apart of HER life? What about you guys? Don’t they want to mend things? I highly doubt it. They’re going to sadly brain wash her into thinking you guys are incapable of doing anything right. Your family is so disgusting. I hope OP just live their lives the way they are, without any family members around.

raymond-bille avatar
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