“AITA For Not Paying For My Sister’s Vacation Because She Won’t Agree To Babysit?”
Sometimes your family are the people who can help you out no matter what. Rain, sleet or shine, they’ll be there to pull your butt out of any kind of trouble, at least in an ideal world. But you shouldn’t forget that you also need to pull your weight and help your family members as well.
A Reddit poster wanted to know whether they were a jerk for not financing their sister’s part of a family trip for $2k after she refused to occasionally help them with babysitting.
More info: Reddit
Helping out family financially is always a headache, especially if they’ve got nowhere to turn to
Image credits: Kevin Woblick (not the actual image)
The poster of the story was wondering if he was a jerk for refusing to pay for his sister’s part of the family trip, costing $2k
Image credits: u/Stock-Campaign8854
Image credits: Streetwindy (not the actual image)
In order to pay the sister’s costs without dipping into savings, he needed to save somewhere and suggested hiring the sister as a babysitter in exchange
Image credits: u/Stock-Campaign8854
Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual image)
The sister categorically refused to babysit even sparingly, sparking a fight in the family
Image credits: u/Stock-Campaign8854
Apparently the sister would have been babysitting at a rate of $62 per hour, but still decided not to do so, calling it “unpaid labor”
The gist of the story is that the original poster’s (OP) family was going to a resort for two weeks, with the cost of tickets and accommodation being $2k. OP’s sister asked if they could pay her price, as the parents of the family could not, nor could she do it herself, as she is in her last semester of studies and jobless.
As the cost would have strained OP’s family’s savings, they calculated that they could have the sister babysit for two hours, at least a couple of times per week for two months, which works out to a rate of about $62.50 per hour, according to commenters.
The sister categorically refused, sending the family into a fight, with some people taking the sister’s side, and others simply supporting OP and his reasonable request.
In the comments, OP gives some more important details. Apparently, he’d only ask for babysitting services at most thrice per week, with his kids being calm and the sister being able to do her schoolwork while babysitting.
Additionally, the vacation is as expensive as it is because OP’s dad’s health hasn’t been good in recent years and their mom “is not getting any younger,” but they both have dreamt of visiting another country for a long time now.
For reference, OP’s family also pay $1200 for their babysitter monthly, which includes two hours of childcare five days a week and money for gasoline to pick up the kids, so the sister would be getting more money for less work, compared to the babysitter. And if you were wondering, they pay that much because they’ve had bad experiences with other babysitters and are hiring via an agency.
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual image)
Perhaps you’re wondering exactly when you should help your family out financially. People on Quora have also asked similar questions, with widely varying replies.
A lot of people mentioned that you should be careful with giving your relatives money, especially if you’re sacrificing your own comfort or wellbeing to rescue them. Doing so may only drain your own finances and leave you resourceless.
It may also teach your family members that they’ll be bailed out of any situation instead of learning to deal with problems themselves.
CNBC suggest that you shouldn’t rush when asked for financial help by a family member. You could consult a financial planner or your spouse. Furthermore, if the decision will hurt you financially, it’s likely to hurt your relationship with that person too.
Consider why they are asking for help and how often – if you give into their requests one time too many, you may become an enabler.
If you aren’t comfortable with giving your family money, tell them why you’re unable to help them out at the time. Be firm, but honest. Do not give into feelings of guilt, especially if the family member tries to trip you up.
And if you agree, you may want to say that you won’t be able to help them in the future, in order not to encourage them to rely on you continuously.
OP’s post collected 10k upvotes in about a day, with 2.3k comments. Commenters were supportive of the poster, saying that they’d be happy to do so little work at such high rates of pay. Others just couldn’t understand why the sister accused her brother of having her do “unpaid labor”. Have stories like this of your own? Share them down below.
Commenters were shocked to hear that the sister wouldn’t accept such a generous deal and the community decided the the poster wasn’t a jerk
Camilla requests a $2000 gift; OP is free to negotiate or decline. OP counteroffers with a job that essentially pays $2000; Camilla is free to negotiate or decline. She is not entitled to up her gift request to a demand and enlist Mama to amplify those demands. This vacation is a luxury, not a necessity. Camilla won't die if she can't afford this vacation because she (and Mama) can't come up with some other way to make the 2 grand. Nobody has the right to demand gifts like that.
Mmmm Everyone making plan to travel abroad for vacation but nobody thinking about how the 22yo would be able to paid for that "family trip". I think Camila shouldn't be judged just because she said no; why would she accept to babysit her sister's kids if she doesn't want to?. Why the hell it would be a win-win situation for Camila if she doesn't want the job of babysitting. If you really want to "help" your sister, tell her what SHE wants or is capable to do in order to pay you back the money. Why forcing her to accept babysitting your kids (otherwise you aren't paying her tickets) would be fair?
Nothing in this world is free tiger... And Camila kinda showed what kind of a person she is when the brother brought up the idea and her response was "perfect".. knowing she isn't employed and still in university... Most people in that position would have said something like "ya hold on... I don't have a job and vacations aren't free... How am I supposed to pay for this?" Instead she said " perfect" like she expected for someone else in the family to pay for her...
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Camilla requests a $2000 gift; OP is free to negotiate or decline. OP counteroffers with a job that essentially pays $2000; Camilla is free to negotiate or decline. She is not entitled to up her gift request to a demand and enlist Mama to amplify those demands. This vacation is a luxury, not a necessity. Camilla won't die if she can't afford this vacation because she (and Mama) can't come up with some other way to make the 2 grand. Nobody has the right to demand gifts like that.
Mmmm Everyone making plan to travel abroad for vacation but nobody thinking about how the 22yo would be able to paid for that "family trip". I think Camila shouldn't be judged just because she said no; why would she accept to babysit her sister's kids if she doesn't want to?. Why the hell it would be a win-win situation for Camila if she doesn't want the job of babysitting. If you really want to "help" your sister, tell her what SHE wants or is capable to do in order to pay you back the money. Why forcing her to accept babysitting your kids (otherwise you aren't paying her tickets) would be fair?
Nothing in this world is free tiger... And Camila kinda showed what kind of a person she is when the brother brought up the idea and her response was "perfect".. knowing she isn't employed and still in university... Most people in that position would have said something like "ya hold on... I don't have a job and vacations aren't free... How am I supposed to pay for this?" Instead she said " perfect" like she expected for someone else in the family to pay for her...
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