Mom Furious After Her Mother Secretly Makes Her Kid Take A DNA Test For ‘Family Gossip’

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to know where you or your family members come from. Today, that’s very easy with at-home testing kits like AncestryDNA. Over 18 million people have used the platform to find their roots. But what about the times when someone submits a child’s DNA without the parent’s consent?

That’s exactly what happened to this mom whose mother took her grandchild to take an ancestry test but wanted it to be a secret. The mom, of course, found out and was so livid that she started considering reporting her own mother. But first, she asked the Internet to weigh in: should she go scorched earth on her mother or just let it go?

A woman took her grandchild to take an ancestry DNA test without the mother’s consent

Elderly woman in kitchen wearing apron, holding tea and phone, representing nosy mother with ancestry tests theme.

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo) 

After she found out, she considered cutting ties with her mother and even reporting her

Nosy mother causes family conflict by forcing ancestry tests without consent, crossing privacy and personal boundaries.

Family members overwhelmed by nosy mother pressuring them with ancestry tests and invasive questions nonstop.

Text excerpt describing a nosy mother crossing boundaries by using ancestry tests involving the family and child.

Text excerpt from a family email discussing a secret dentist trip amid ancestry test tensions.

Text about a nosy mother causing family tension with ancestry tests and crossing personal boundaries.

Woman in a gray shirt looking stressed, holding her temples, illustrating nosy mother and ancestry tests conflict.

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Excerpt showing a nosy mother researching family ancestry and crossing personal boundaries with genealogy questions.

Text explaining a nosy mother annoying family with ancestry tests to uncover secret family connections and gossip attempts.

Frustrated woman with curly hair gesturing angrily, expressing tension related to ancestry tests and family conflict.

Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Child reveals mother’s invasive ancestry test requests causing family tension and crossing personal boundaries.

Angry message about nosy mother using ancestry tests without consent and crossing family boundaries.

Text about a nosy mother crossing a line by trying to control family decisions and undermine authority.

Text message expressing frustration about illegal actions related to ancestry tests and family conflicts.

Text message expressing plans to confront nosy mother who terrorizes family with ancestry tests and crosses privacy boundaries.

“My mother just wants to gossip about tragic [passings] and kissing cousins,” the mom added in an update

Text post discussing a nosy mother crossing a line with ancestry tests and family boundaries.

Elderly woman and young boy embracing closely, reflecting family ties and ancestry connections in a warm setting

Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text message discussing differences between paternity and ancestry DNA tests and secrecy involving the nosy mother.

Text excerpt showing a nosy mother’s intrusive behavior related to ancestry tests and family secrets being revealed.

Text excerpt discussing a nosy mother obsessed with ancestry tests and causing family tension through gossip and DNA testing.

Text message about stopping a nosy mother by removing child's data from ancestry tests to end genealogy issues.

Image credits: throwRA_hurtgirlz

Image credits: NCI / Unsplash (not the actual photo) 

Some companies might store DNA samples and results indefinitely

There’s nothing murky about parental consent when it comes to ancestry DNA tests. AncestryDNA, for example, writes on its website that only parents and legal guardians can register minors for testing kits. “If you are not their parent or legal guardian, you cannot register their kit,” the website says.

It’s understandable why parents wouldn’t want to have their children’s genetic information in the databases. As one commenter pointed out, it’s not just that one platform will have the test results; they will be available for download into other online databases.

AncestryDNA offers the option to delete one’s test results. With other platforms, however, it might be harder to delete your data from them forever. As James Hazel, PhD, JD, a postdoctoral researcher at the Law Centre for Health and Life at the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands, explained to Consumer Reports, some companies have “little to no policy in place, or policies that permit storage of your sample and the data, sometimes indefinitely.”

That’s why Hazel strongly advises reading privacy policies attentively. 23andMe, for example, writes that if the consumer gives their consent, they might hold onto your sample and test results indefinitely in their biobank. Living DNA, on the other hand, keeps the samples and results only for six months or six months after the customer closes their account.

According to Hazel, people should look out for these clauses in the privacy policies:

• whether the company will share the data with third parties,
• whether the shared data will be individual-level genetic data,
• or will it be aggregate genetic data, combined from a number of people.

Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo) 

Finding surprise relatives through at-home test kits is not uncommon

The mom in this story seems quite fed up with her mother’s obsession with revealing some family drama through doing ancestry DNA tests. This might seem like a silly objective, but some people really do find out something juicy after they submit their DNA to these companies.

As Diahan Southard, founder of Your DNA Guide, explains to Bored Panda, genealogy research has been discovering family secrets for years. “The addition of genetic testing has just accelerated that rate of discovery,” she says.

“There aren’t any officially posted numbers telling us how many people make unexpected discoveries of close family members using these platforms, but as most people at least know someone who has made a discovery, the experience is not uncommon.”

Some folks are skeptical about whether or not at-home DNA test kits can be reliable. But Southard tells us that the margin of error is very slim. “DNA matching for close biological relationships is extremely accurate,” she says. “It is not possible for a lab error to accidentally create a close family member for you.”

“However, there are errors in interpretation of what those numbers mean. For every genetic relationship (that is measured in those numbers of centimorgans you see on the website), there are multiple genealogy relationships. For example, someone sharing 1384 cMs could be your grandma, your aunt, your half-sibling, or your grandchild. They could even be your first cousin.”

So, the grandma in this story shouldn’t be so happy if she finds some potentially juicy family goss. “We need to be careful about how we are interpreting the results before we start jumping to conclusions about who did what when and with whom,” Southard recommends. Her company Your DNA Guide does exactly that – it helps people decode the test results and find out what they really mean, without misunderstandings.

People gave the mom advice about how to remove her child’s information from the database

Commenter explains risks of sharing DNA data on Ancestry and advises caution with family ancestry tests privacy.

Reddit user discusses removing child's info from ancestry tests after family member's unexpected DNA match causes concern.

Comment discussing concerns over DNA ancestry testing and family boundaries involving children and parents.

Reddit user discusses nosy mother obsessed with Ancestry tests, aiming to get her banned for crossing family boundaries.

Conversation about nosy mother crossing a line with ancestry and paternity tests causing family boundary issues.

Reddit conversation discussing legal options and privacy concerns about ancestry tests and family tree data.

Reddit comments discussing a nosy mother terrorizing her family with intrusive ancestry tests and boundary crossing behavior.

Comment discussion about a nosy mother causing family tension after ancestry tests, highlighting toxic relationships and boundaries.

Reddit user discusses family conflict over ancestry tests and privacy, highlighting nosy mother crossing personal boundaries.

Reddit conversation about a nosy mother causing issues with ancestry tests and family tree privacy concerns.

The commenters thought the grandma seriously messed up: “I’d file a police report”

Reddit comment expressing strong disapproval of a nosy mother interfering with family through ancestry tests.

Screenshot of a user advice comment suggesting to report to Ancestry and consult an attorney about nosy mother behavior.

Screenshot of a user comment suggesting to file a police report and report the nosy mother to Ancestry for harassment.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing a nosy mother causing family tension with ancestry tests.

Comment discussing legal concerns about ancestry tests taken without consent in cases of nosy family members crossing boundaries.

Screenshot of online comment discussing a nosy mother terrorizing family with ancestry tests and crossing boundaries.

Comment discussing legal advice on stopping a mother from sharing child’s DNA test info without consent, highlighting ancestry test issues.

Comment expressing frustration about a nosy mother who undermines parenting in ancestry tests family drama.

Comment urging to call ancestry services and erase child's data from their database regarding privacy concerns.

Comment on ancestry tests violation, urging reporting of a nosy mother who crosses a line with family privacy.

Comment text on a forum thread discussing a nosy mother who terrorizes family with ancestry tests crossing a line.

Commenter advising legal action regarding ancestry tests due to concerns about privacy and potential family harassment.

Comment discussing legal risks and consequences of unauthorized use of ancestry tests and DNA data involving family privacy issues.

Comment about family drama and concerns after ancestry tests, warning about nosy mother crossing personal boundaries.

Comment expressing concern over privacy risks of ancestry tests and warns about nosy mother crossing boundaries.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a nosy mother terrorizing family with ancestry tests.

Screenshot of a comment suggesting to report a nosy mother to ancestry and consider legal actions to stop her.

Others urged the mom to take this matter seriously and go to the authorities ASAP

Comment discussing the consequences of a nosy mother using ancestry tests and causing emotional distress to family members.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!