GF Shocked To Learn BF Runs Loyalty Tests On Dates, Thinks His Behavior Is Manipulative And Odd

There are many milestones in a new relationship from the first month together, the first trip together, to one of the most terrifying of all which is the first meeting with their friend group. There’s something that’s just oddly thrilling about walking into a room full of people your partner already adores, hoping they’ll like you just as much.

The best-case scenario would be you welcomed with open arms, jokes flying left and right, and suddenly feeling like you’ve gained an entirely new squad overnight. Unfortunately, the first time today’s Original Poster (OP) met her boyfriend’s friends didn’t end well. In fact, it left her feeling weirded out and questioning the entire relationship.

More info: Reddit

We’ve all heard the phrase “testing someone’s loyalty”, but in real-life relationships, this tactic rarely goes as planned

Three young adults sitting on stairs eating pizza, illustrating an immature guy and his friends testing his new girlfriend.

Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The author shared that she had just started dating a guy, and met his friends for the first time during a casual hangout

Immature guy and his friends test his new girlfriend, who later discovers his past with many girls before.

Text excerpt describing an immature guy and his friends testing his new girlfriend, revealing past behavior.

Text excerpt about an immature guy and his friends testing his new girlfriend, revealing past behavior with many girls.

Text on a white background stating discomfort about friends ragging on an immature guy's appearance and calling him a failure.

Text excerpt explaining a girl resisting her immature guy and his friends testing her loyalty in a challenging situation.

Text excerpt from a story showing frustration after an immature guy and his friends test his new girlfriend.

Image credits: gauntletthrowaway

Young woman looking upset and thoughtful indoors, reflecting on immature guy and friends testing his new girlfriend.

Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

While they were all hanging out, the boyfriend stepped out, and his friends began mocking him and trying to get her to join in which made her uncomfortable

Text message conversation showing someone upset that their immature guy's friends talk bad about him after testing his new girlfriend.

Text excerpt about an immature guy being tested by friends and his new girlfriend learning his past actions.

Text describing an immature guy and his friends testing his new girlfriend to see if she talks badly about him behind his back.

Text excerpt from an immature guy and his friends testing his new girlfriend, revealing past behavior with many girls.

Text discussing an immature guy and his friends testing his new girlfriend, questioning if behavior is normal.

Text conversation screenshot showing a woman explaining how immature guy and his friends tested her by badmouthing him behind his back.

Image credits: gauntletthrowaway

Young woman confronts immature guy about his past, testing their relationship as tension builds between them.

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

She tried to deflect at first before she eventually snapped, telling them that she would inform her boyfriend of everything they said

Screenshot of an online post update where the user thanks everyone for advice after their post gained attention.

Text message apologizing for not responding due to work break, appreciating comments and calling readers radiant unicorn moonbeams.

Text excerpt about immature guy and friends testing his new girlfriend, revealing his past behavior with many girls.

Text excerpt describing an immature guy being tested by his friends, revealing his past actions with many girls.

Image credits: gauntletthrowaway

Immature guy and his friends test new girlfriend as she discovers his past with many girls during a tense confrontation.

Image credits: Grinvalds / Freepik (not the actual photo)

She left to her boyfriend’s room in frustration, and when she told her boyfriend everything his friends said, he broke into a grain and revealed that it was all a test

Text block showing a personal story about an immature guy testing his new girlfriend, who later learns about his past.

Text on screen saying he tried to blow up my phone but I stopped it by blocking him, about immature guy and his friends.

Text expressing gratitude for dodging a massive Bullet Bill sized bullet, appreciating friends as beautiful sunlit diamonds.

Text on plain white background stating: TLDR Sam is a jerk, and also no longer my bf.

Image credits: gauntletthrowaway

He explained that he often tested his partners in that way, but that she was the first person to “pass” the test, however she found it situation strange and unsettling

The OP shared that she had just started dating a great guy, and things were going so well that she recently met his friends. On the day she met his friends, things started perfectly normal until her boyfriend stepped out of the room. The friends flipped the switch and started tearing him apart, trying to rope her into joining the roast.

At first, she tried to deflect, but they kept pushing. Finally, she shut it down, told them it was messed up, and made it clear she planned to tell the boyfriend what they said. Her boyfriend returned and the friends acted like they hadn’t just been trash talking him in his absence, and this annoyed the OP so much that she got up and left for her boyfriend’s bedroom.

He appeared in the room shortly after and asked her if everything was okay, and she told him what happened. What she didn’t expect was for her boyfriend to break into a smile. When she asked what he was smiling about, he then explained that the whole thing was a planned test.

Apparently, this was something he carried out on every woman he dated. If she joined in trash talking him, he dumps her, but if she doesn’t, she passes. The boyfriend insisted it was harmless, and that she was the first person to actually tell him what happened meaning, she was “the best”. Finding it strange, the OP shared that she eventually broke up with the boyfriend.

Stressed woman sitting on sofa holding pillow upset after realizing immature guy has treated many girls the same way before.

Image credits: myoceanstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Verywell Mind explains that psychologists emphasize that hidden “tests” meant to measure a partner’s loyalty only chip away at the trust a relationship needs to thrive. These staged scenarios create insecurity, discourage honest communication, and often leave both partners feeling misunderstood or emotionally strained.

Psychology Today adds that these secret tests often come from personal insecurity or unresolved issues, not genuine concern. Instead of voicing fears or doubts directly, the tester creates manipulative situations that confuse the partner and ultimately harm the relationship.

Relationship expert Abby Medcalf also notes that while the opinions of a partner’s friend group can influence relationship satisfaction, that influence should never involve undermining someone’s dignity.

She explains that sabotaging or “testing” a partner through group behavior, social media trends, or silent evaluations isn’t scientifically valid and only encourages deceit. Instead, she stresses that open communication about worries, boundaries, and expectations is what strengthens intimacy.

Netizens expressed strong disapproval of the OP’s boyfriend and his friends’ “loyalty test,” emphasizing that deceiving someone to gauge their reaction is manipulative and unnecessary. They also noted that testing partners often backfires and signals immaturity, insisting that relationships require trust rather than games.

What would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes? Would you stay with someone who tested you like this, or would it also be a dealbreaker? We would love to know your thoughts!

Netizens insisted that games and deception in relationships are dealbreakers, and honesty should always come first

Comment text on social media about an immature guy and his friends testing his new girlfriend, who discovers his past behavior.

Text message screenshot showing a comment about an immature guy and his friends acting childish despite being in their 20s.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing how people who test their partners often escalate conflicts in relationships.

Comment about an immature guy and his friends testing his new girlfriend, who discovers his past with many girls.

Screenshot of an online comment warning about playing games with people in your life, related to immature guy and his friends testing new GF.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing immature guy and his friends testing his new girlfriend in a TikTok trend.

Comment by user CountryEither7590 stating they knew the answer was yes without reading past the title.

Text comment on a grey background with username yybbyy, discussing an immature guy and his friends testing his new girlfriend.

Text post showing a user comment about an immature guy and his friends testing his new girlfriend repeatedly.

Comment discussing the immaturity of guys who test girlfriends and revealing patterns with multiple girls before.

Comment about an immature guy whose friends test his new girlfriend, revealing he has done this to many girls before.

Comment discussing immaturity, relationship tests, and how the new girlfriend learns about past behavior.

Screenshot of an online comment about an immature guy and his friends testing his new girlfriend and past behavior.

Comment discussing an immature guy tested by friends, mentioning loss of all his girlfriends due to the test.

Comment discussing relationship test about handling minor disagreements, reflecting immature guy and friends testing new girlfriend behavior.

Comment praising the new girlfriend’s intelligence and self-respect after being tested by immature guy and his friends.

Comment discussing an immature guy and his friends testing his new girlfriend, revealing a recurring pattern with past girlfriends.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!