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Bio Mom Throws A Fit After Realizing Daughter Wants To Honor Dad’s Bestie As Mom At Her Wedding
Young woman in a white lace dress looking contemplative, reflecting on honoring dad's bestie as mom at her wedding.

Bio Mom Throws A Fit After Realizing Daughter Wants To Honor Dad’s Bestie As Mom At Her Wedding

Interview With Expert

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When my parents were putting together the guest list for their upcoming wedding, my father took a piece of paper and wrote in large letters under the first number: “Mother.” It’s no surprise; for the vast majority of us, our mother is a very special person in our lives, the most important one. However, there are always exceptions…

Today, we’ll tell you about one such exception – a story from the user u/Lucky-Adeptness3413, whose biological mother suddenly returned to her life after twenty years of separation – and immediately demanded a place of honor at the daughter’s wedding. However, let’s just tell things in order and read on for the details.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    A mother is in fact the most important person in the life of almost every one of us – but there are exceptions, as always

    Couple holding hands on a table with a bouquet of red roses, symbolizing emotions in a wedding honor situation.

    Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The author of the post was literally abandoned by her own bio mom when she was 5, and was raised by her dad, with the help of his female bestie

    Text image showing a question about letting dad's best friend take the mother role at a wedding.

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    Text showing a 23-year-old woman describing her traditional wedding plans with her dad walking her down the aisle.

    Text excerpt explaining daughter’s context about dad and bio mom’s reaction after honoring dad’s bestie as mom at wedding.

    Text excerpt about bio mom throwing a fit as daughter wants to honor dad's bestie as mom at her wedding.

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    Alt text: Bio mom throws a fit after daughter decides to honor dad's bestie as mom at her wedding, causing family tension.

    Text excerpt about daughter honoring dad's best friend Phoebe despite bio mom's lack of connection or support.

    Image credits: Lucky-Adeptness3413

    Young girl sitting alone on a bench looking upset as bio mom throws a fit over honoring dad's bestie at wedding.

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    Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    This lady became the girl’s true mother, and even when she married and had kids herself, she remained a maternal figure for the author

    Text about daughter honoring dad's bestie as mom at wedding and bio mom reacting with a fit.

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    Text image with a daughter describing how her dad's bestie supported her during tough times before her wedding honoring him as mom.

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    Text excerpt about family dynamics and calling Mom Phoebe, highlighting bio mom's reaction to honoring dad's bestie at wedding.

    Text excerpt showing Sarah apologizing and reflecting on missed time before the daughter's wedding honoring dad's bestie as mom.

    Text excerpt discussing a bio mom’s reaction after daughter honors dad's bestie as mom at her wedding.

    Image credits: Lucky-Adeptness3413

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    Young woman hugging an older woman outdoors, illustrating a bio mom reacting to daughter honoring dad's bestie as mom at wedding.

    Image credits: arty / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    But recently, when the woman was about to get married, her bio mom unexpectedly appeared in her life

    Text excerpt from a woman describing wedding planning issues with her bio mom after deciding to honor dad's bestie as mom.

    Text excerpt showing a bio mom upset after daughter wants to honor dad's bestie as mom at wedding.

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    Alt text: Bio mom throws a fit after daughter honors dad’s bestie as mom at wedding, causing family tension.

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    Text excerpt showing a bio mom upset after daughter wants to honor dad's bestie as mom at wedding.

    Text conversation showing bio mom throwing a fit after daughter honors dad’s bestie as mom at her wedding.

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    Text-based image showing the phrase So, AITA? questioning a situation involving bio mom and wedding honor choices.

    Image credits: Lucky-Adeptness3413

    The woman demanded the honor place at the reception and became incredibly livid after being rejected by the newlyweds-to-be

    The Original poster (OP) is getting married soon, and among the honored guests invited to the wedding will be the groom’s parents, her own dad, and his best friend, “Phoebe.” The thing is, our heroine was born when her parents were teens, and a couple of years later, her bio mother decided she and her dad weren’t on the same page and moved to another part of the country, effectively abandoning maternity.

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    She barely sent child support or contacted her daughter for nearly two decades, and Phoebe became her true mother. Over time, Phoebe married and had two sons herself, but she was always happy that the author considered her almost a mom and her children – almost siblings.

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    And then, shortly before the wedding, our heroine’s biological mother suddenly appeared in her life. The original poster didn’t refuse contact, but she made it clear that she shouldn’t count on a close family relationship—especially not being at the mother’s place at the wedding reception. That position, as you’ve probably already guessed, would be filled by Phoebe.

    Upon learning of this, the author’s bio mom became livid, threw a huge tantrum, and even called Phoebe a “thief of daughters.” In response, the OP’s fiancé firmly declared that the wedding was their own business, and only they could actually decide who to invite and who would occupy the seats of honor. So our heroine is now wondering whether it was even worth inviting this woman – a de facto stranger – to the wedding.

    Stressed woman sitting at kitchen table upset after learning daughter wants to honor dad's bestie as mom at wedding.

    Image credits: milanmarkovic / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    “By and large, being a biological parent doesn’t automatically make you a true parent – especially if the person essentially cuts off all contact with the child and isn’t involved in their life in any way,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. “That’s why the term ‘biological parents’ actually exists.”

    So, the expert really believes that communicating with a biological parent after years of no contact can be beneficial for anyone, especially if that communication is based on a healthy relationship. But the situation described in this story is clearly far from being healthy.

    “This woman was lucky to have such a maternal figure in her life, who gave her everything she was deprived of because of her biological mother’s deeds. So, it’s not surprising that in her eyes, her godmother is her true mother. And no biology can, in fact, change that,” Irina Matveeva concludes.

    People in the comments also fully supported our heroine, arguing that if her biological mom had truly wanted to be more than just a wedding guest, she actually had twenty years to change things. She didn’t – so she has only herself to blame. “Tell her to go back to where she came from,” someone added in the comments. So do you, our dear readers, also agree with this?

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    Most commenters agreed that the author did everything right, and that she probably shouldn’t have invited her bio mom to the wedding at all

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    Screenshot of online comment discussing bio mom’s reaction to daughter honoring dad’s bestie as mom at wedding.

    Comment about bio mom throwing a fit after daughter decides to honor dad's bestie as mom at wedding.

    Comment on a forum post discussing a bio mom's reaction after daughter wants to honor dad's bestie as mom at her wedding.

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    Comment explaining bio mom's fit after daughter honors dad's bestie as mom at wedding, supporting daughter's choice.

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    Reddit user responds firmly to bio mom upset over daughter honoring dad's bestie as mom at her wedding.

    Comment on forum post showing frustration from bio mom over daughter honoring dad's bestie as mom at wedding.

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    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a bio mom upset after daughter honors dad's bestie as mom at wedding.

    Screenshot of an online comment discussing a bio mom’s reaction to daughter honoring dad’s bestie as mom at her wedding

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    Comment on a forum where a user expresses strong disapproval of a bio mom throwing a fit over daughter honoring dad’s bestie as mom at wedding.

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    Screenshot of a Reddit comment praising inclusion of the woman honored by daughter instead of bio mom at wedding.

    Comment discussing bio mom throwing a fit after daughter honors dad’s bestie as mom at her wedding.

    Screenshot of a forum comment advising to rescind invitation due to bio mom's expected jealousy at wedding honoring dad's bestie as mom.

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    Comment discussing a bio mom’s upset reaction after daughter honors dad’s bestie as mom at her wedding.

    Screenshot of an online comment about bio mom throwing a fit after daughter honors dad's bestie as mom at wedding.

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    Oleg Tarasenko

    Oleg Tarasenko

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

    Read less »
    Oleg Tarasenko

    Oleg Tarasenko

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

    What do you think ?
    Cee Cee
    Community Member
    37 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She ditched you as a small child. Now time for you to ditch her. This level of toxicity is not what you need when you're getting married. Good luck with all your wedding plans, hope you have a super day!

    Cee Cee
    Community Member
    37 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She ditched you as a small child. Now time for you to ditch her. This level of toxicity is not what you need when you're getting married. Good luck with all your wedding plans, hope you have a super day!

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