Au Pair Fears Talking Back To Host Family, Comes To The Internet To Vent About The Food Situation

Moving abroad for a cultural exchange program should be exciting, but one 19-year-old nanny discovered the reality isn’t necessarily so rosy.

Reddit user Remote-Narwhal5726 shared her experience working in the United States, where she earns just $196 a week while caring for two children.

Instead of being welcomed as part of the household, she was restricted to a single cabinet stocked with cheap pantry food and scolded for buying her own snacks. Now she’s wondering whether she needs to comply with the family’s rules or stand up for herself.

A 19-year-old au pair in the U.S. was limited to a single cabinet of basic food

Young nanny from abroad eating snacks while sitting on a couch, reflecting American family houses food restrictions.

Image credits: gpointstudio / Envato (not the actual photo)

When she tried to buy snacks for herself, the children’s mother got angry

Text excerpt from a nanny explaining low pay and food restrictions while working for an American family as an au pair.

Text excerpt from a 19-year-old nanny abroad describing her experience with an American family and food restrictions.

Text about American family houses restricting food for 19-year-old nanny from abroad, limiting eating to one cabinet.

Text excerpt showing a nanny discussing agency advice about food restrictions by an American family and options to stay or leave.

Text excerpt about a nanny restricted to one food cabinet by American family, mentioning unhealthy snacks she wants.

Text from a nanny describing restricted food access in an American family house and managing hunger with limited snacks.

Text excerpt from nanny’s experience with American family restricting her food access, highlighting food sharing and restrictions.

Angry woman in a cozy sweater arguing indoors, illustrating tension in an American family with a nanny from abroad.

Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / Envato (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt about American family nanny from abroad dealing with food restrictions and unfair treatment in the household.

Text message screenshot discussing a nanny’s food restrictions set by an American family in their house.

Image credits: Remote-Narwhal5726

Technically, the host family might not even be within the rules

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

According to the organization Cultural Care Au Pair and the U.S. Department of State, host families must provide three meals a day, a private room, and a minimum stipend of $195.75 per week.

That number isn’t arbitrary—it’s calculated from the federal minimum wage, minus deductions for the room and board the family is required to provide. On paper, this is supposed to ensure au pairs don’t have to spend their limited funds on basic survival.

But in practice, that stipend barely covers more than pocket money. Out of $196 a week, many au pairs need to budget for transportation, personal items, phone plans, and social activities—things that are part of the “cultural exchange” they signed up for.

If a host family isn’t willing to provide full meals or snacks, and the au pair has to dip into her stipend just to buy groceries, it eats into what little that paycheck offers.

This particular conflict also highlights another tension: household rules versus cultural integration. While parents have the right to set dietary standards for their children, host family guidelines explicitly advise treating au pairs as family members, which includes considering their dietary needs and preferences. Forbidding the teen from bringing her own snacks into the home and simultaneously denying her access to family groceries is just unfair.

Most  of the people who read what happened felt really sorry for the teenager

Comment thread discussing American family houses restricting 19-year-old nanny's food to one cabinet and her struggles.

Text post discussing low pay and poor treatment of a 19-year-old nanny from abroad by an American family.

Comment warning about American family nanny abuse, food restrictions, and unfair treatment of a 19-year-old worker.

Comment warning about American family restricting food of 19-year-old nanny from abroad, urging others to avoid them.

Comment from EmceeSuzy criticizing an agency for restricting the nanny’s food to shelf stable items in an American family house.

Comment discussing American family houses restricting food access for 19-year-old nanny from abroad.

Comment about American family restricting food for 19-year-old nanny from abroad, highlighting unfair treatment and food limitations.

Comment discussing challenges faced by a 19-year-old nanny working long hours and treated as just help.

Comment on au pair subreddit discussing norms of American family houses sharing meals with 19-year-old nanny from abroad.

Reddit user comments on American family housing 19-year-old nanny from abroad and restricting her food to one cabinet.

Comment on Reddit discussing exploitation of a 19-year-old nanny from abroad by an American family restricting her food.

Comment on American family restricting 19-year-old nanny’s food, calling it starvation and threatening behavior.

Comment from a forum user about restricted food in one cabinet for a 19-year-old nanny from abroad.

Comment discussing a temporary solution for a 19-year-old nanny restricted to one food cabinet by an American family.

Comment discussing potential labor law violations related to an American family employing a 19-year-old nanny from abroad.

Text comment criticizing an American family restricting food access of their 19-year-old nanny from abroad.

Comment highlighting concerns about food restrictions placed on a 19-year-old nanny by an American family.

Comment advising a 19-year-old nanny from abroad on food restrictions and employer issues in an American family household.

Comment warning about American family houses restricting food of 19-year-old nanny from abroad, advising to leave for a better experience.

Comment discussing American family houses restricting food access for 19-year-old nanny from abroad in a harmful environment.

Comment on a forum post advising a 19-year-old nanny from abroad to leave her American family and find a new one due to food restrictions.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing American family houses restricting food for their 19-year-old nanny from abroad.

Screenshot of an online comment advising a 19-year-old nanny about food restrictions by an American family.

Screenshot of an online comment criticizing an American family for mistreating their 19-year-old nanny from abroad.

Text post from a user commenting on a situation involving an American family and a 19-year-old nanny from abroad.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment advising a 19-year-old nanny restricted to one food cabinet by an American family to leave.

Comment about American family houses restricting food for 19-year-old nanny from abroad, sharing personal Au Pair experience.

But a few said she should’ve handled the situation differently

Comment from Reddit user NobodyKillsCatLady criticizing American family restricting nanny's food, calling it mean behavior.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing manners related to eating in front of people in a casual online conversation.

Comment on a forum about American family houses restricting food for their 19-year-old nanny from abroad.

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