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Counselor Reveals Why Encouraging Your Offspring To Stop Crying Is Emotionally Damaging
Counselor Reveals Why Encouraging Your Offspring To Stop Crying Is Emotionally Damaging
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Counselor Reveals Why Encouraging Your Offspring To Stop Crying Is Emotionally Damaging

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Parenting is a lifelong commitment. By bringing a child into this world, you automatically make them your full-time responsibility, and you’re obliged to give them a healthy and loving environment. It’s not a secret that folks from older generations have a completely different view on the way one’s upbringing should be done – however, nowadays, people are very open about their emotional traumas, making parents reconsider the raising methods they use on their offspring.

Gentle parenting was introduced a while ago and is based on four main factors – empathy, respect, understanding and boundaries. It’s a way to ensure that your children are not lacking in emotional connections and are growing up in wholesome environments. Many are mistaken and think that just because the technique has the word “gentle” in it, discipline doesn’t exist, though it very much does – however, it’s focused on teaching various valuable life lessons rather than focusing on punishments.

This TikToker and parenting coach shared a video helping parents to accurately handle their children’s emotional outbursts. The technique covers aspects of gentle parenting and ensures that your child feels loved, valued and protected.

More info: TikTok

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    Parenting is hard, but this woman has a great number of helpful tips

    Image credits: Jax Anderson , LPC

    There are no ultimate instructions for raising your kid correctly, though – it’s important to always validate your offspring’s feelings, regardless of their age. Humans long for connections and it’s extremely easy to harm their emotional health, leaving the child scarred for life.

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    A TikTok video with over 814K views reveals how a parent should help their offspring in moments of emotional distress

    Image credits: psyko_therapy

    Emotional tantrums are equally stressful for parents and their kids. Just imagine how your child feels going through all these crazy changes in a very small amount of time. Of course they’re going to struggle with their feelings, and by validating your child’s emotions, you’re making them feel important and safe. If your child doesn’t feel heard, they’ll do whatever it takes for you to notice.

    Image credits: psyko_therapy

    The woman begins with an example of how some parents would handle their children’s emotional outbursts, or in this case – just crying. When you don’t know why your little one (or not so little one) is struggling mentally, telling them that they’re fine and that there’s nothing to cry about is, in fact, a very unhelpful response.

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    Image credits: psyko_therapy

    That kind of response conveys to your child that they’re not taken seriously and that there is something wrong with them. Children begin to think that their emotions are not reasonable, which later could terribly impact their mental well-being.

    It could be hard for parents to understand their child’s outbursts, but it helps to remember that by validating their feelings, you’re not saying that you allow/agree with this behavior, you’re only showing that you’re actually listening and trying to understand their thoughts.

    Image credits: psyko_therapy

    So, in reality, what you should really do is reassure them that it’s absolutely normal to feel frustrated and that crying and letting your feelings out is okay, as you will be there to talk everything out as soon as they’re ready. Again, it’s crucial not to show any kind of judgement and just acknowledge their feelings. It’s not easy and sometimes takes a lot of practice – however, it’s all worth it in the end.

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    Image credits: psyko_therapy

    After all, being understood is an essential part of a healthy lifestyle, whether you’re a toddler or not. When someone close to us accepts and feels our struggles, it supports and improves our self-compassion, as well as teaches little ones to be empathetic with others. Scolding someone for their feelings and emotions is a horrible thing to do, so why not focus on bringing your child up in a kind and considerate environment?

    You can watch the video here:

    @psyko_therapy Crying is okay #parent#kids#fyp#momsoftiktok#mom#parentsoftiktok#foryoupage#xyzbca#tiktoktherapy#mentalhealth#pov#crying♬ original sound – TiKToKmom

    Fellow followers appreciated the advice and even shared their own stories

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    Darja Zinina

    Darja Zinina

    Author, Community member

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    Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

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    Darja Zinina

    Darja Zinina

    Author, Community member

    Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

    Saulė Tolstych

    Saulė Tolstych

    Author, Community member

    Read more »

    Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

    Read less »

    Saulė Tolstych

    Saulė Tolstych

    Author, Community member

    Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

    What do you think ?
    DUN DUN (she/her)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My grandma passed away last year this month. That day I had an entrance exam, and I was completely numb. I did not feel like crying, or feel sad, or anything. Fast forward to evening after the exam, I'm sitting on bed, and suddenly all those tears start flooding out of my eyes. My mom comes near me, hugs me, pats my back and says, "Let it all out, honey. Let it all out." The grief was so bad back then that I had no idea how her soothing words helped me calm down. Today as I read this article, all the memories came flooding back, and now I'm an emotional wreck again.

    K Witmer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dun I feel your pain. My mom passed away in April last year and the periods of grief come and go. I'll smell something that reminds me of her and I start to cry. It's very difficult. I wish you moments of peace as well. Hugs to you.

    Load More Replies...
    A Jones
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At a young young age I learned how to cry without making a sound so my family couldn't hear. I did this for too long it just stuck. It's not a good thing. I just stopped coming to my folks whenever I was hurt emotionally/physically due to the toxic nonsense.

    DUN DUN (she/her)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I could hug you, I would. But with what we have, virtual hugs to you. I'm really sorry you had to go through all those as a child. I hope you're okay now.

    Load More Replies...
    E B
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sounds much better than "don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about."

    Daniel Mattock
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The movie Inside Out taught us this.

    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At first I thought this was about letting babies cry and I was het up. Then I saw it was about giving kids permission to cry and stayimng with them for it and I did a 180. I have always given my kid total freedom to cry - and to pout in a closet if they needed to do that. They usually don't cry or pout very long - just enough to get the emotions out and then they're fine. (I was punished for crying, so I'm doing it different.)

    mysticalasDUCK
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m so glad that a bunch of the people here are trying to be better, and admiting their mistakes

    Rissie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is truth in both responses. Crying uncontrolably is also a sign of not being able to self regulate. There's not showing any emotion and there is just letting everyting out the moment you feel it. And somehow you need to find a way that works. If there is clearly a reason a child is upset, you give them some space to let it out. But. If that's not the case, they might actually need you to help them to stop. The key is to talk afterwards and figure out what happened and caused the emotion. Make it something to understand. I have two kids, one is more on the front of showing them it's ok to cry and show how you feel, while the other is the complete opposite and just lets it all out and actually needs help becoming aware about how to regulate that. And with those two I learned that it's not as easy as a one solution fits all. And those glasses truly are awful.

    Load More Replies...
    Rissie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those glasses will make me cry any day. I'm sorry, yes yes, totally right, show you support your kid and sometimes it's also just fine to first stop the panic and then talk about it. WIthout dismissing whatever caused the emotional response. Learning to regulate is also important.

    Nezuko_Chan
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was always so angry at my parents and grandparents when they told me to stop crying, they still tell us to when my brother or sister does. My brother has anger issues and telling him to stop crying just makes him more sad and angry. I got so upset with them I just stopped crying in front of them. Still don’t let them know I’m crying and I rarely cry now

    Lemonclouds20
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok, now to how to respond when toddler is crying uncontrollably because they don't want to hear " eat your dinner/ pick that up/ it's bedtime/ we have to leave the park"

    Linny H
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish someone would have told me to quit crying. I was a freaking crybaby. Knee socks falling down-wahwahwah! Not enough milk in my cereal wah wah wah! Bawling while my mom brushed my hair, bawling because I couldn't get my tights on my sweaty legs, bawling because I didn't like my dinner. Honest to God I don't know how my parents could stand me.

    Load More Comments
    DUN DUN (she/her)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My grandma passed away last year this month. That day I had an entrance exam, and I was completely numb. I did not feel like crying, or feel sad, or anything. Fast forward to evening after the exam, I'm sitting on bed, and suddenly all those tears start flooding out of my eyes. My mom comes near me, hugs me, pats my back and says, "Let it all out, honey. Let it all out." The grief was so bad back then that I had no idea how her soothing words helped me calm down. Today as I read this article, all the memories came flooding back, and now I'm an emotional wreck again.

    K Witmer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dun I feel your pain. My mom passed away in April last year and the periods of grief come and go. I'll smell something that reminds me of her and I start to cry. It's very difficult. I wish you moments of peace as well. Hugs to you.

    Load More Replies...
    A Jones
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At a young young age I learned how to cry without making a sound so my family couldn't hear. I did this for too long it just stuck. It's not a good thing. I just stopped coming to my folks whenever I was hurt emotionally/physically due to the toxic nonsense.

    DUN DUN (she/her)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I could hug you, I would. But with what we have, virtual hugs to you. I'm really sorry you had to go through all those as a child. I hope you're okay now.

    Load More Replies...
    E B
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sounds much better than "don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about."

    Daniel Mattock
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The movie Inside Out taught us this.

    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At first I thought this was about letting babies cry and I was het up. Then I saw it was about giving kids permission to cry and stayimng with them for it and I did a 180. I have always given my kid total freedom to cry - and to pout in a closet if they needed to do that. They usually don't cry or pout very long - just enough to get the emotions out and then they're fine. (I was punished for crying, so I'm doing it different.)

    mysticalasDUCK
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m so glad that a bunch of the people here are trying to be better, and admiting their mistakes

    Rissie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is truth in both responses. Crying uncontrolably is also a sign of not being able to self regulate. There's not showing any emotion and there is just letting everyting out the moment you feel it. And somehow you need to find a way that works. If there is clearly a reason a child is upset, you give them some space to let it out. But. If that's not the case, they might actually need you to help them to stop. The key is to talk afterwards and figure out what happened and caused the emotion. Make it something to understand. I have two kids, one is more on the front of showing them it's ok to cry and show how you feel, while the other is the complete opposite and just lets it all out and actually needs help becoming aware about how to regulate that. And with those two I learned that it's not as easy as a one solution fits all. And those glasses truly are awful.

    Load More Replies...
    Rissie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those glasses will make me cry any day. I'm sorry, yes yes, totally right, show you support your kid and sometimes it's also just fine to first stop the panic and then talk about it. WIthout dismissing whatever caused the emotional response. Learning to regulate is also important.

    Nezuko_Chan
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was always so angry at my parents and grandparents when they told me to stop crying, they still tell us to when my brother or sister does. My brother has anger issues and telling him to stop crying just makes him more sad and angry. I got so upset with them I just stopped crying in front of them. Still don’t let them know I’m crying and I rarely cry now

    Lemonclouds20
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok, now to how to respond when toddler is crying uncontrollably because they don't want to hear " eat your dinner/ pick that up/ it's bedtime/ we have to leave the park"

    Linny H
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish someone would have told me to quit crying. I was a freaking crybaby. Knee socks falling down-wahwahwah! Not enough milk in my cereal wah wah wah! Bawling while my mom brushed my hair, bawling because I couldn't get my tights on my sweaty legs, bawling because I didn't like my dinner. Honest to God I don't know how my parents could stand me.

    Load More Comments
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