Son Starts Making Plans To Move Out After Mom Hikes Rent, She Is Shocked
Interview With Expert
The luxury of staying at home rent-free is a privilege, not afforded to many. The moment you turn 18, you are often expected to become independent. You might have to say goodbye to free food, internet, and most importantly, free rent. This poster, though he has been living with his parents, has been paying a weekly rent of $60. However, with a recent job promotion, his rent needs to increase. This has sparked some drama as he plans his exit from the family home.
More info: Reddit
Having a roof provided by family is a gift many are not afforded
Image credits: todd kent (not the actual photo)
The poster got a new job, which came with a pay increase, and a rent increase, which came from his mother
Image credits: Le Creuset (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
This did not meet him well and he informed his mother that he will move out
Image credits: Johnyb183
Now his mother is displeased with him and he is also angry with his mom that she will charge him for rent
The 25-year-old Redditor has been paying rent at his parents’ home for a few years now. Recently, he started a well-paying temp job, but his mother significantly raised the rent to $150 per week.
Shocked by this increase, he informed his mother that he would be moving out. He reasoned that he could already afford his own meals and only had a small bedroom in the house.
From his perspective, he could rent a studio apartment larger than his room for only a few hundred dollars more than what his mom was charging. The poster also pointed out that he paid his own bills and rarely interacted with his parents except when returning home from work.
While his mother was angry at him for voicing his concerns, the author is also upset that his own mother would ask him to pay an amount equivalent to what he would pay a landlord to simply sleep in the house. The author argues that if he were going to pay so much, he deserves a space of his own.
Image credits: ClatieK (not the actual photo)
Apparently, the rent debate is a bit more one-sided than we initially thought. According to the author in the comments section, only the OP’s mom wants him to pay rent, while his dad doesn’t care.
“Charging rent is a perfectly reasonable request by a parent given her ‘child’ is now financially independent,” shared Michael Ungar, Canada Research Chair in Child, Family and Community Resilience, Director, Resilience Research Centre, Dalhousie University, with Bored Panda.
The expert discussed the author’s housing expectations, which is pretty interesting considering that he made mention that he could easily find accommodation for less or about the same amount with far more benefits, though he then seems to suggest that for his small amount of rent, he should get housekeeping services as well.
“Evidently there is some confusion here, as I’m not aware of any living arrangement at that price that would provide all of those services.” He added “Perhaps the mother is simply tired of having a child at home who is obviously not appreciating the support he receives or perhaps the mother would simply like to finally have her own space?”
Michael points out that the rent may be the author’s mom‘s gentle way of suggesting her child seek other housing after 25 years. “It is a culturally odd way, too, that we raise children. While other cultures would never charge a 25-year-old rent, there would be every expectation that the mother would move in with her child as she gets older. Might the author of the post consider this?”
Finally, he shared that in some instances, parents will ‘bank’ the larger rent as a savings plan for their child and return the money to them in the form of a down payment on a house later in life. There are plenty of things to consider in this example, but a grown man living with his mother and not contributing equally to the household seems a little exploitive of a parent’s goodwill.
You can check out Michael’s blog and new book “Working with Children and Youth with Complex Needs: 20 Skills to Build Resilience (2nd Ed.)”
With that said, what are your thoughts on the story? Do you believe his reaction is a tad too much or justified given the situation? Make sure to share everything important in the comments below.
The comment section was conflicting, with many saying he was not the jerk, yet also admitting that the author was a little bit entitled in his thought process
The mother is the AH for being cheesed off. She has chosen to convert the arrangement to a financial transaction. That is her right. As such, the OP is free to terminate the business arrangement and move out. If you change the rules, don’t be upset that people don’t want to play anymore.
My thoughts as well. Mom (seemingly) has reduced their relationship to one of business. Anyone, if put it the situation of having their rent increased, will shop for a situation that's more beneficial to them. She should not be surprised that the OP has chosen to respond this way, she might be surprised by the sudden loss of income her son provided. I'll bet that after the 2nd month she will wish she had a do-over. Classic FAFO.
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I think this is odd. The parents don't need the money: they have enough of their own. Why not let their son save up a decent amount so that he can move to a decent apartment in a decent part of town/city? I paid not rent, but a contribution to my mother, because she lived on the absolute minimum: no problem with that. We didn't ask our son to pay rent: instead, he saved everything so that when he got his apartment, he was able to buy a decent bed, some furniture and household basics. Why make things harder than they have to be?
You and your mom did it right. This is exactly how I think it should be if you’re not a trashy and hateful person. Of course an adult child should CONTRIBUTE to their own household and parents if the parents need the help. It isn’t rent. And of course parents who don’t need the help shouldn’t demand rent like a stranger off the street, but rather expect the kid save up for their own future.
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It feels like OP is already chipping in with a bunch of stuff considering how they pay for half the Wi-Fi all of the streaming subscriptions and the phone plan. Let's be real, in this economy even someone in their mid to late twenties would struggle, especially if they're still going to school and can't have a full-time job yet.
They'll be in for a cold surprise when anything goes wrong. Like a washing machine breaking down. Oh OP isn't paying for any insurance or the other things listed by the last replyer?
Load More Replies... The mother is the AH for being cheesed off. She has chosen to convert the arrangement to a financial transaction. That is her right. As such, the OP is free to terminate the business arrangement and move out. If you change the rules, don’t be upset that people don’t want to play anymore.
My thoughts as well. Mom (seemingly) has reduced their relationship to one of business. Anyone, if put it the situation of having their rent increased, will shop for a situation that's more beneficial to them. She should not be surprised that the OP has chosen to respond this way, she might be surprised by the sudden loss of income her son provided. I'll bet that after the 2nd month she will wish she had a do-over. Classic FAFO.
Load More Replies... I think this is odd. The parents don't need the money: they have enough of their own. Why not let their son save up a decent amount so that he can move to a decent apartment in a decent part of town/city? I paid not rent, but a contribution to my mother, because she lived on the absolute minimum: no problem with that. We didn't ask our son to pay rent: instead, he saved everything so that when he got his apartment, he was able to buy a decent bed, some furniture and household basics. Why make things harder than they have to be?
You and your mom did it right. This is exactly how I think it should be if you’re not a trashy and hateful person. Of course an adult child should CONTRIBUTE to their own household and parents if the parents need the help. It isn’t rent. And of course parents who don’t need the help shouldn’t demand rent like a stranger off the street, but rather expect the kid save up for their own future.
Load More Replies... It feels like OP is already chipping in with a bunch of stuff considering how they pay for half the Wi-Fi all of the streaming subscriptions and the phone plan. Let's be real, in this economy even someone in their mid to late twenties would struggle, especially if they're still going to school and can't have a full-time job yet.
They'll be in for a cold surprise when anything goes wrong. Like a washing machine breaking down. Oh OP isn't paying for any insurance or the other things listed by the last replyer?
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