“I Don’t Care As Much About Her”: Stepmom Is Blamed For Leaving Out Stepdaughter In Room Decor

Most parents love each of their children equally. They may have unique relationships with all of them, but that doesn’t mean that there’s ever any lack of love. But what about stepchildren? Is it possible for parents to care just as much about their spouse’s kiddos?

One mom was recently accused of favoritism by her stepdaughter after putting an immense amount of effort into her son’s bedroom. Now, she’s beginning to wonder if she should have done more for her husband’s daughter. Below, you’ll find all of the details that the mother posted on Reddit, as well as a conversation between her and Bored Panda.

Despite not being her parent, this mom has a great relationship with her stepdaughter

Mother showing affection to son and step-daughter while sitting on a couch, highlighting family dynamics and bonding.

Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)

But when the girl noticed how much effort was being put into her brother’s bedroom, she began to wonder if her stepmom was playing favorites

Alt text: Woman shares her experience putting more effort into decorating her son's room than her step-daughter’s room.

Text excerpt about a mom describing her biological son and step-daughter, highlighting family relationship dynamics.

A neatly arranged boy's room with blue walls, bed, and storage bins, reflecting more effort put into son's space.

Image credits: Planet Volumes / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Alt text: Mom's effort in creating a custom son’s room with ombre walls and glow-in-the-dark stars highlights step-childroom contrast

A Montessori-style boys room with sun and moon lighting, tree-shaped furniture, ball pit, and grassy rug showing mom’s effort.

Text describing efforts put into stepdaughter’s room featuring a reading nook with cushions and mosquito net canopy.

Text excerpt about shared room costs and furniture choices highlighting mom's differing effort in son's room versus step-daughter’s room.

A stressed mom in a red sweater wrapped in a blanket, reflecting on effort put into her son's room versus step-daughter’s.

Image credits: George Milton / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Alt text: Mom puts more effort into her son's room than her step-daughter’s, causing feelings of favoritism and hurt.

Text excerpt showing a mom expressing guilt about putting more effort into her son’s room than her step-daughter’s.

Image credits: ImpossibleScallion12

“She’s a pretty awesome kid”

To find out more about this situation, we got in touch with the mom who shared this post on Reddit, ImpossibleScallion12. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share even more details about her situation.

Since she posted an update about the new plan for her stepdaughter’s room, she says that the situation has, thankfully, been resolved. “We’re waiting on the wall mural to be delivered, and we’ve ordered her mirrors. So once we load those up, it’ll match her personality much more.”

We were also curious about how this mother’s relationship with her stepdaughter typically is. “I’ve always been of the mind that she didn’t get to choose me being in her life, so I let her choose what kind of relationship we have,” the author shared. “She’s the type of kid who will randomly kiss my head if I’m sitting on the couch, she was just having a hard time. She’s a pretty awesome kid.”

We also asked ImpossibleScallion12 what she thought of the replies to her post. “I always knew I’d have to make things right. Her dad was right about the bed and dresser he bought being good quality, and they were designed to last. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do something cool. That’s the benefit of buying a house.”

Finally the mom wanted to defend her husband. “My husband is an amazing father to both of his kids. His boundary setting was entirely reasonable; she doesn’t see me as her mother and never will because I’m not,” the author explained.

“But he still expects her to respect me the same as any other family member and will absolutely pull her up if her behavior lapses, as it is our job as adults to guide and educate,” she continued. “The cost was mostly because I am a spender. And I still would have happily paid for both of the kids’ rooms. Paying for half of my stepdaughter’s was more than he wanted to contribute, that was the compromise. He’s not actually cheap.”

Young boy gently kissing baby wrapped in blanket while sitting on rustic white wooden bench in front of red door.

Image credits: Pixabay / Pexels (not the actual photo)

It’s common for jealousy to creep in when a younger sibling joins the family

Preparing a child for life with a younger sibling isn’t always easy. They might be thrilled about Mommy and Daddy bringing home a new baby, or they might be terrified of getting less attention and having to share their parents’ time with someone new. It’s a huge change for the entire family, so Child Mind Institute recommends bringing up this topic delicately with older siblings.

It’s important not to oversell the new baby, as having one around will be a lot of work and, quite frankly, might be annoying at times for their sibling. It can be helpful for parents to set aside special time to spend with their older children, and involving them in the process might keep them from feeling left out.

However, it’s perfectly normal for older kids to experience some regression when there’s a new baby around. They might not need constant attention, but they’ll want to remind Mom and Dad that they certainly still need them. And if jealousy starts to bubble up in older siblings, Utah State University has some advice for how to ease the tension. 

First, it’s important to make an effort to understand the child’s feelings. Make it clear that you see where they’re coming from, and you hear their concerns. If they want to be more involved, let them be. And make sure there’s always time for them to be with mom and dad one-on-one. 

It can be helpful to keep your older children’s routines as stable as possible as well, so they don’t feel like their life has been flipped upside down overnight. And providing them with a space of their own can work wonders. If they want to be alone, away from the baby and all of his or her toys, they should have a safe space to play, relax or read.

Unhappy step-daughter sitting at the kitchen table with a woman’s hand on her head, showing family tension.

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Favoritism within families can take a huge toll on relationships

If possible, it’s best to celebrate the bond between siblings, as it may help your children grow closer together. Because when they begin to feel like Mom and Dad are playing favorites, their relationship can quickly go south.

According to a survey from the Institute for Family Studies, forty percent of Americans who grew up with siblings believe that their parents had a favorite child. And apparently, women are 10% more likely to perceive favoritism among siblings than men are.

But this favoritism can take a huge toll on the family. In fact, less than half of Americans who believe that their mom and dad had a favorite say that they’re satisfied with the relationship they have with their parents.

So what can parents do to prevent their little ones from feeling like they’re playing favorites? Fatherly notes that it’s usually not possible to spend the exact same amount of time with each child, so it’s better to focus on quality time rather than quantity. As long as each child feels loved, supported and close to both parents, it’s unlikely that they’ll feel like anyone is being shown favoritism.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar family drama right here. 

Later, the mom responded to several comments and provided more details about the situation

Screenshot of an online discussion about a mom putting more effort into her son's room than her step-daughter's room.

Screenshot of a Reddit discussion about a mom putting more effort into her son's room than her step-daughter’s room.

Reddit user conversation discussing a mom putting more effort into her son's room than her step-daughter's room.

Many readers thought that she was innocent, instead calling out her husband for the part he played

Screenshot of a comment discussing a mom putting more effort into her son's room than her step-daughter’s room.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing responsibility in a family conflict about effort put into a son’s versus step-daughter’s room.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment advising a mom to follow her stepdaughter’s vision for her room, unlike her effort for her son’s.

Text post discussing a mom investing more effort into her son's room than her step-daughter’s, highlighting family dynamics.

Text post discussing stepdaughter feeling upset about room effort, highlighting mom’s effort focus on son versus stepdaughter.

Comment discussing family boundaries and effort in relation to a mom putting more effort into her son's room than her step-daughter's.

Comment discussing mom putting more effort into her son's room than step-daughter’s, addressing step-daughter’s insecurities.

Comment discussing stepdaughter's feelings about her room and parenting responsibility from her dad in a family context.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a husband’s role in addressing a mom’s effort in her son’s room versus step-daughter’s room.

Reddit comment discussing mom putting more effort into her son’s room than her step-daughter’s, highlighting family role tension.

Text comment discussing advocating for a step-daughter’s room and balancing parental efforts in blended families.

Screenshot of Reddit comment discussing a mom putting more effort into her son’s room than her step-daughter’s room.

Reddit comment discussing mom putting more effort into her son's room than her step-daughter's in a parenting dispute.

Comment discussing a mom putting more effort into her son's room than her step-daughter’s and parenting challenges.

Text excerpt from online discussion about a mom putting more effort into her son’s room than her step-daughter’s.

Alt text: Online discussion about mom putting more effort into her son's room than her step-daughter’s in a blended family debate.

Alt text: Text post discussing differences in effort put into decorating a son's room versus a step-daughter’s room and communication advice.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a mom putting more effort into her son’s room than her step-daughter’s.

Text from Reddit discussion about a mom putting more effort into her son's room than her step-daughter’s room and family dynamics.

However, some readers thought that both parents had made poor choices

Alt text: Mom puts more effort into her son’s room than her step-daughter’s causing family tension and feelings of insecurity during transitions

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a mom putting more effort into her son’s room than her step-daughter’s.

Comment discussing the effort put into decorating a son's room versus a step-daughter’s room and family dynamics.

Mom puts more effort into decorating her son's room compared to her step-daughter’s, highlighting parental favoritism.

Reddit comment discussing a mom putting more effort into her son's room than her step-daughter’s, highlighting parenting issues.

Finally, the mom shared an update revealing that she had created a new plan with her stepdaughter

Mother and daughter in a cozy kitchen setting, highlighting family dynamics and relationship effort differences.

Image credits: karlyukav / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Text showing a woman explaining she put more effort into her son's room than her step-daughter's due to clear vision.

Text about a mom putting more effort into her son's room than her step-daughter’s showing parenting and family dynamics.

Text excerpt from a stepdaughter feeling jealous about her brother’s room receiving more effort and better daycare than hers.

Alt text: Mom putting more effort into her son's room with pastel mural, dance corner, and cozy lighting, unlike her step-daughter’s space.

Image credits: ImpossibleScallion12

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