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A therapy session should be a safe space where you can say anything without fear of being judged. It goes without saying that whatever is discussed must be treated as confidential.
Often, the therapist will make notes during the session so that they can track a patient’s progress, remember key details or plan future treatment. Parts of these notes might also serve as a record for insurance purposes.
Imagine one woman’s horror when she found out that her mother had gained access to her therapy session notes, and had been secretly reading them for the past three years. The 25-year-old feels “physically sick.” Her mother says she’s overreacting.
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People often go to therapy to process their childhood trauma in a safe, confidential space
Image credits: Andrej Lišakov / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But this woman’s mother violated her trust by secretly spying on her sessions for three years
Image credits: Sarah Dietz / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Karola G / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: No_Community_2163
She later said that she’d been advised to go ‘no contact’ but feels guilty
Image credits: Alex Green / Pexels (not the actual photo)
How safe are your secrets with your therapist? Here’s what the experts say…
For many people to feel comfortable enough to truly be vulnerable and honest during therapy sessions, they’d need to know that whatever they say is treated with confidentiality. They need to be able to trust their therapist and know that their deepest secrets are not going to be leaked to a third party.
There are actually laws to protect the privacy of therapy patients. In the United States, there’s the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996, while in Europe, therapists must adhere to the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR).
Yes, therapists do take notes during sessions but these are so that they can keep track of a patient’s progress, remember any important points and plan future sessions or treatment. The notes might also be used for insurance purposes. But experts say that many therapists won’t include everything when they write up their official session notes.
Australian psychotherapist Genevieve David has more than 20 years experience and believes that sometimes less is more. David told Psychology Today that a therapist might decide not to include certain things in a client’s notes if they were likely to be misunderstood and cause the client unnecessary harm if exposed.
“Under the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act’s (HIPAA’s) Privacy Rule, psychotherapy
notes are held to a higher level of confidentiality than the rest of the patient’s medical record,” reads the American Psychiatric Association’s Quick Practice Guide. “While the rest of a patient’s medical record may be released for review to the patient’s insurer for payment audits or other insurance reviews, psychotherapy notes may not.”
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When is a therapist allowed to break confidentiality?
There are some circumstances where a therapist can break confidentiality. For example, if the client poses a danger to themselves or others, if the therapist suspects a child, elderly person or another dependent adult is being harmed by the client, or if the therapist is legally forced by court order to disclose certain information.
“Even when a therapist is compelled to break confidentiality, they are generally careful about only disclosing what is necessary to protect their client or others, and they only tell third parties who urgently need to have that information,” notes Psychology Today.
If you were ever wondering whether your therapist talks about you to their family at home, they just might.
“We’d all be lying if we tried to say that we never talk about our patients,” David reveals. “It’s just attending very carefully to whether we’re showing off about them, what we are doing with it. Are we just needing some comfort? Are we getting a different perspective? I find that my husband’s view, a male perspective for my male patients, can be incredibly helpful.”
“This is why you’re in therapy”: netizens showered the woman with support
Quite a few people shared their own similar experiences
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What do you think ?
Livingwithcfs 1 month ago
I have two issues with this. 1. Therapy notes should not be available to anyone outside the session unless the therapist has concerns about the OP safety to herself or others. The insurance company should never have access to those notes let alone her mother. Second is I think OP has probably got a good civil case against the therapist, insurance company and her mother, I hope she does because they all a****d her safety and trust
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
I was hoping someone would mention this, because after I got over my horror (I literally dropped my iPad as if I’d been electrocuted, I was so astonished), I thought this can’t happen because there are (at least) two HUGE HIPAA violations here: the therapist’s office releasing the notes to the insurance company, and the insurance company’s software making all family members’ records readable by the accountholder! Unless … is OP outside the US? (I know; this is the first time I’ve not read beyond what OP wrote because I just couldn’t. 😰) Maybe where she is they don’t have something comparable to HIPAA? (And if that’s the case, did she mention her country? I don’t wanna move there accidentally.) While I don’t/didn’t have narcissistic parents, just imagining my аsshole dad reading my therapy notes about him is making me think I’m gonna have some awful intestinal discomfort in a half hour. 😞 That poor girl! I wish I could hug the horror out out of her.
Load More Replies...
Lee Gilliland 1 month ago
And people will say this is fiction. Nope, my father did pretty much the same thing, violated my trust. There are reasons narc parents die alone.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Yep. My mom still opens my mail (I have a PO box, but some still ends up at my house) and has pretended to be me on the phone multiple times to doctors/etc. and has never been caught, since she knows my social security number, date of birth, etc. When I was younger I was stupid and never got her removed from my childhood banking account. Eventually got a new account that only has me on it XD But there have seriously been times when I've thought I've needed to tell doctor's office staff that there needs to be a "secret code word" that only I would know, before they assume they're talking to me on the phone.
Load More Replies...
Laura Lawson 1 month ago
Having a similar mother, there is a VERY strong possibility that she got OP to sign a former granting her access to the notes without OP knowing what she signed. Probably just said, these are a bunch of insurance papers, just sign at the bottom. I'm 56 & I'm still unravelling the s**t my self-centred, narcissistic, hypochondriac mother did to me. They will gaslight you into thinking they are perfect & you are wrong. It's VERY hard to break through this & I'm super proud of anyone who does. I am very LC with my mother & she still doesn't understand why neither my sister & I won't visit her. She is yet again in hospital & I couldn't give a fùck. My last straw? My niece, her granddaughter, is being treated for a super aggressive breast cancer at 31yo & that woman can't handle someone else getting attention. My mother's response to this news? Oh, that's too bad. And then talked about her bed sores that she got because she's too fùcking lazy to get her a*s out of bed!
Livingwithcfs 1 month ago
I have two issues with this. 1. Therapy notes should not be available to anyone outside the session unless the therapist has concerns about the OP safety to herself or others. The insurance company should never have access to those notes let alone her mother. Second is I think OP has probably got a good civil case against the therapist, insurance company and her mother, I hope she does because they all a****d her safety and trust
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
I was hoping someone would mention this, because after I got over my horror (I literally dropped my iPad as if I’d been electrocuted, I was so astonished), I thought this can’t happen because there are (at least) two HUGE HIPAA violations here: the therapist’s office releasing the notes to the insurance company, and the insurance company’s software making all family members’ records readable by the accountholder! Unless … is OP outside the US? (I know; this is the first time I’ve not read beyond what OP wrote because I just couldn’t. 😰) Maybe where she is they don’t have something comparable to HIPAA? (And if that’s the case, did she mention her country? I don’t wanna move there accidentally.) While I don’t/didn’t have narcissistic parents, just imagining my аsshole dad reading my therapy notes about him is making me think I’m gonna have some awful intestinal discomfort in a half hour. 😞 That poor girl! I wish I could hug the horror out out of her.
Load More Replies... Lee Gilliland 1 month ago
And people will say this is fiction. Nope, my father did pretty much the same thing, violated my trust. There are reasons narc parents die alone.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Yep. My mom still opens my mail (I have a PO box, but some still ends up at my house) and has pretended to be me on the phone multiple times to doctors/etc. and has never been caught, since she knows my social security number, date of birth, etc. When I was younger I was stupid and never got her removed from my childhood banking account. Eventually got a new account that only has me on it XD But there have seriously been times when I've thought I've needed to tell doctor's office staff that there needs to be a "secret code word" that only I would know, before they assume they're talking to me on the phone.
Load More Replies... Laura Lawson 1 month ago
Having a similar mother, there is a VERY strong possibility that she got OP to sign a former granting her access to the notes without OP knowing what she signed. Probably just said, these are a bunch of insurance papers, just sign at the bottom. I'm 56 & I'm still unravelling the s**t my self-centred, narcissistic, hypochondriac mother did to me. They will gaslight you into thinking they are perfect & you are wrong. It's VERY hard to break through this & I'm super proud of anyone who does. I am very LC with my mother & she still doesn't understand why neither my sister & I won't visit her. She is yet again in hospital & I couldn't give a fùck. My last straw? My niece, her granddaughter, is being treated for a super aggressive breast cancer at 31yo & that woman can't handle someone else getting attention. My mother's response to this news? Oh, that's too bad. And then talked about her bed sores that she got because she's too fùcking lazy to get her a*s out of bed!
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