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“AITJ For Going Through My 36-Year-Old Sister’s Luggage Before She Leaves To Go Back Home?”
Sibling rivalry is quite normal among kids. Of course, it’s something parents have to manage, but sometimes, it even goes on well into adulthood. According to the National Organization for Women, one in two adults still argue and compete with their siblings.
For these two sisters, the tensions reached a boiling point during NYE. One sister tried to wind the other up by wearing her five-year-old daughter’s clothes without permission. Later, the mother found her daughter’s skirt in her sister’s luggage, prompting a huge fight over text. She felt a bit guilty about going through her things, but protecting her daughter was more important.
Bored Panda reached out to the mother, u/IsEveryoneOkorNo, and she kindly agreed to have a chat with us. Read on to find out why her relationship with her sister has been so strained and more about her extended family dynamics.
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A woman went through her sister’s suitcase to find her daughter’s skirt
Image credits: EyeEm (not the actual image)
The sister teased the child the day before by wearing it, angering both her and the mom
Image credits: Dom J (not the actual image)
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual image)
After receiving some comments, she clarified how her sister was able to fit into the skirt and why she and her daughter were living with her mom
Image credits: Ambreen (not the actual image)
Image credits: EyeEm (not the actual image)
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro (not the actual image)
Image credits: IsEveryoneOkorNo
The Redditor tells Bored Panda that her sister is battling many demons, making interactions with her especially difficult
When we reached out to the mother who posted this story, u/IsEveryoneOkorNo, she kindly agreed to tell us more about what her relationship with her sister has been like before this incident.
According to the Redditor, they have always had an on-and-off relationship. The trouble started, as the user recalls, in high school. “Her eating disorder started in high school and that’s when she started being really cruel to me,” u/IsEveryoneOkorNo tells Bored Panda.
“She also had a lot of false memories that she will go on rants about, and it’s difficult to listen to because I know for a fact these things didn’t happen, but then she just attacks and blames, which is very triggering.”
According to the Redditor, her sister also struggles with mental health issues and dependence on substances. “She’s just a very difficult person now,” the single mother explains. “She lives with her sugar daddy, and they have a very toxic relationship as well. It’s very violent on both ends.”
Image credits: eugeneshemyakin9 (not the actual image)
Her current living situation allows the mother to take care of her daughter better
The comments under her post varied: some people showed support, urging the mother to stay strong and lower contact with her sister. Others, however, didn’t understand how she could live like this and allow her daughter to be around such toxic people.
But such is life; we sometimes have to experience the bad to get to the good. The Redditor clarifies why, at 38, she still lives with her mother. “A lot of people still live at home, this isn’t a choice for me, it’s this or be homeless, I guess. Or live in a very unsafe, violent neighborhood.”
“I’d rather live in an ‘unsafe’ environment that I can predict rather than one with strangers [who] could do much worse than my mother’s lack of empathy and accountability,” u/IsEveryoneOkorNo admits.
Although the living conditions are less than ideal for her daughter, the mother tries to look at them as educational. “[I’m] teaching her what type of behavior is safe and unsafe, right and wrong, etc. My daughter communicates with me very well [about] what she needs, what upsets her, and what makes her happy.”
The mother talks about her daughter with much pride. “She’s a very kind and happy kid, she does well at school despite having severe ADHD. She goes out of her way to be kind to other kids, especially younger kids, and she’s always sharing whether it’s her toys or snacks.”
“Parents will compliment how kind she is and thank her for being kind to their kids, and that makes me feel like I’m doing something right despite the dysfunction that our home goes through from time to time,” the mom tells us.
She feels blessed to be able to spend a lot of time with her daughter. Living with her mother allows her to do that, not having to constantly work paycheck to paycheck. “I keep my daughter safe and I don’t have to worry if she’s safe in a stranger’s care. She was going to an afterschool program for a while so I could work longer, but then they lost her, found her after searching for 45 minutes, but that was enough for me to say never again.”
Image credits: shurkin_son (not the actual image)
The Redditor hopes to give her daughter the emotionally stable childhood that she never had
u/IsEveryoneOkorNo admits that she doesn’t want her daughter to have no contact with family members, but will always prioritize the girl’s safety. “I have been through a lot as a child and as an adult, and these experiences help me keep my daughter physically, mentally, and emotionally safe, no matter who is trying to wreak havoc,” she says. “My daughter loves her aunt, which is conflicting for me because although I’m sure it’s there somewhere, I just don’t love my sister the way I used to.”
“I have a huge wall up with her, I can’t trust her with anything because anything said to her is always used against me. I don’t want my daughter to not have any family but having no one is better than unsafe family.”
The Redditor is also trying to break generational patterns. She wants her daughter to have the emotional stability she herself never experienced with her own parents. “I’m not perfect but I always mend and repair with my daughter if we have a tough day. That’s something I never got as a kid with either of my parents and I still don’t,” the mom admits.
“Both my parents are narcissists with mental illness. I see a therapist regularly. I am doing my best with what I have. And my daughter is a happy kid, that’s all that matters to me, is that she’s happy, fed, safe, and thriving. And she’s all those things. Even with selfish family members.”
Image credits: milanmarkovic (not the actual image)
In the comments, the woman shared more about how their mother keeps enabling her sister
Commenters urged her to cut contact with the toxic sister, both for her and her daughter’s sake
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What do you think ?
Michael MacKinnon 2 months ago
You know, there are those rare times when I think, "Hmm, it may actually be socially and ethically appropriate just to clock someone." Sister seems to be well in that space.
Sally Moen 2 months ago
This is a sad story that reads real. OP needs therapy, the mom needs therapy, the child needs therapy, the sister needs inpatient treatment
Robin Roper 2 months ago
On the housing issue - where I live the wait list for "Section 8" housing is at least 8 years. Where I live an "affordable" house runs $215k - $280k+. The US needs far more and better subsidized housing .
Michael MacKinnon 2 months ago
You know, there are those rare times when I think, "Hmm, it may actually be socially and ethically appropriate just to clock someone." Sister seems to be well in that space.
Sally Moen 2 months ago
This is a sad story that reads real. OP needs therapy, the mom needs therapy, the child needs therapy, the sister needs inpatient treatment
Robin Roper 2 months ago
On the housing issue - where I live the wait list for "Section 8" housing is at least 8 years. Where I live an "affordable" house runs $215k - $280k+. The US needs far more and better subsidized housing .
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