Mom Refuses To Let Daughter Get Surgery, Now She Can't Smell, Can't Breathe And Is Buried In Debt

r/GirlDinnerDiaries is a subreddit where women share what’s on their plate, both literally and figuratively. Along with their food, they post about relationship drama, heartbreak, random rants, late-night thoughts, little wins, and whatever else they need to get off their chest. And the community is there to cheer them on or help them through it.

One woman recently opened up about how her mom spent years convincing her that she had never broken her nose as a child. Now, she’s stuck dealing with serious health problems and more than $100,000 in medical debt over something that could have been fixed a long time ago. As she put it herself, her mom “ruined” her life.

One mom spent years gaslighting her daughter into believing she had never broken her nose as a child

user7003113 / magnific (not the actual photo)

Now, the woman is dealing with serious health problems and more than $100,000 in medical debt

gerain0812 / magnific (not the actual photo)

Glass-Tart7729

Gaslighting can make you question your own sanity, even when the truth is right in front of you

Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)

The woman spent her whole life being told by her mom that nothing was wrong with her, that she had never broken her nose and never needed surgery. Even though she had constant health problems and could barely breathe, her mom kept insisting she was fine. 

That’s how powerful gaslighting can be. As long as it comes from someone you trust, it can override what your own body is telling you.

Gaslighting is a form of lying where the person being lied to ends up feeling paranoid, stupid, or broken for believing something that’s actually true. The longer it goes on, the more they feel like they’re losing their grip, until they eventually start believing the lie instead of themselves.

“Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation to make you feel as if your feelings aren’t valid, or that what you think is happening isn’t really happening,” psychologist Chivonna Childs, PhD, told Cleveland Clinic. “Over time, you start to question your self-worth, self-esteem and mental capacity.”

The word itself comes from the 1938 British play Gas Light and its 1944 film version. In both, a husband lies to and manipulates his wife until she’s convinced she’s “crazy” and can’t be trusted to make her own choices.

In practice, gaslighting can take a lot of different forms. You might be told you’re too sensitive every time you bring up something that hurt you. You might describe a memory clearly and hear “that never happened” or “you’re imagining things.”

Sometimes it’s being blamed for something you didn’t do, or having an argument flipped around until somehow you’re the one saying sorry. Over time, these little moments pile up and wear down your ability to trust your own mind.

So why would a parent do this to their own child?Annie Wright, LMFT, explains that gaslighting is rarely conscious. In the parent’s eyes, they’re not a villain. Instead, it’s more of a defensive reflex.

They do it as a way to avoid accountability for a bad decision, or to protect a fragile self-image when admitting fault feels too painful. Gaslighting lets them stay in control of the family narrative and keep seeing themselves as the good parent.

The problem is, none of that justifies the harm it does to the kid. When children are constantly told that their reality is wrong, theystart to doubt themselves for years afterward. They second-guess their own memories, wondering if things really happened the way they remember. They struggle to make simple decisions because they no longer trust their gut.

Some grow up assuming they’re the problem in every conflict, since that’s the role they were handed at home. Being dismissed like this over and over is alsolinked to anxiety, depression, and long-term low self-esteem.

It’s sad to think that for the woman in this story, everything she went through was completely unnecessary and could have been fixed with basic treatment when she was young. It’s deeply unfair, and her anger makes complete sense. And yet, even now, her mom refuses to admit any of it.

Readers felt awful for the woman and the medical neglect she had to experience as a child

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!