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“They Call Me Evil And Rude”: Couple Asks Neighbor To Take Kids At 3am, Are Shocked To Be Told ‘No’
Going into labor can be a chaotic experience for many parents. Especially when it’s unexpected, it causes a million thoughts to suddenly flood the mom’s and dad’s minds. Where is the hospital bag? Do we have a babysitter to watch our older ones? Did I remember to put on shoes?
Even though parents don’t know the exact moment when labor will begin, it’s important to have a plan in place for when it does. But according to one mom, her neighbors didn’t thoroughly consider where their children would go while they were at the hospital until it was too late. Below, you’ll find the full story that this mother recently posted on Reddit, as well as some of the replies readers have shared.
RELATED:
It’s important for expecting couples to have a detailed plan in place for when labor finally strikes
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Because when this mom awoke to neighbors banging on her door at 3am, she was not interested in watching their kids
Image credits: Polesie Toys / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: No-Pumpkin5167
Most people know some of their neighbors, but that doesn’t mean they’re actually close
How well you know your neighbors depends on many factors. If you live in a suburban neighborhood where everyone walks their dogs each day and waves hello while driving by, you might be able to name every single resident. If you live in a tall apartment building in a crowded city, however, you might not even acknowledge a single other person who you encounter in the stairwell.
According to a Pew Research Center survey, 57% of Americans say they know some of their neighbors, while only about a third say they know most of them. But about two thirds of those who do know their neighbors say they would be comfortable asking to leave a spare set of keys with them in case of an emergency. Being friends with those who live around you can be greatly beneficial in moments when you need another cup of sugar or a ride to a doctor’s appointment.
But just knowing your neighbors does not mean you’re entitled to demand assistance from them at all hours of the day (or night). Problem Neighbors reports that the most common conflicts that arise between residents are over noise, boundary disputes, maintaining shared facilities, trees and gardens and issues with children. For example, kids may vandalize property, trespass, make too much noise, etc. And of course, they require proper supervision at all times.
Image credits: Askar Abayev / pexels (not the actual photo)
Childcare for older siblings is an important factor for parents to consider before giving birth
Being a parent requires constant planning, especially when you’re expecting another addition to your family some time soon. Prior to going into labor, Northwestern Medicine says couples must have their gear ready (usually a hospital bag packed full of essentials), know the first signs of labor, know when it’s time to go to the hospital, recognize red flags, and have a plan but be flexible.
And if you’re a parent already, it’s crucial to consider where your older ones will be while you’re at the hospital. NCT explains on their site that it would be unusual for moms and dads to bring their little ones along while going to the hospital for labor. They recommend instead finding a close friend or family member to act as a babysitter while you’re giving birth.
And it’s always wise to have a plan B and C just in case the labor happens unexpectedly. Unfortunately, most hospitals do not offer on-site childcare to patients, so parents must consider the best options for their children before the big birthday arrives.
Image credits: Lina Kivaka / pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s wise to have several babysitters lined up in case labor occurs unexpectedly
Lamaze also notes that there are many factors to consider before choosing who will be watching your new baby’s siblings while you’re in the hospital. For example, will the babysitter(s) be available for several days? In case there are complications with the birth or the labor lasts an incredibly long time, it’s important to make sure your kids won’t be left alone.
If your little ones have any allergies, dietary restrictions, etc. it’s important for the babysitter to know and understand how to take care of your children appropriately. This time can be stressful for kids, as they might have to be away from their parents for a few days, so it’s crucial that they feel comfortable with their guardian. If they won’t be staying at home, make sure they have their favorite books, toys, etc. to allow them to be as relaxed as possible.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this story in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this mom was right to refuse to babysit on a whim for her neighbors? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing entitled neighbors, look no further than right here.
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Some readers took the mother’s side, and she joined in on the conversation
Others continued assuring the mom that she had done nothing wrong
However, some called her out for not taking in the kids, and she responded to several comments
Other readers continued calling out the mom for refusing to babysit
Later, the mother shared her thoughts on comments she received and provided an update on the situation
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: No-Pumpkin5167
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What do you think ?
Stckynote 1 year ago
the person who doesn't participate in the mom group chats and such would not be the person i would randomly ask to watch my kids. at 3am.
Astro 1 year ago
My thoughts exactly! Although I agree with OP for saying no (I personally would have done it for an hour but I would have been seething that the mom didn’t plan ahead and I’d make it clear that I only did this because of the emergency and would definitely never be available again)
Load More Replies...
Elio 1 year ago
Internet is full of entitled parents. This woman has other friends in her babysitting group in the building so why not ask them?
Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
NOPE. If you don't have a support plan set in place for medical emergencies, you are not entitled to start demanding strangers take your kids just because you happen to be in the same apartment complex. Being in the same chat group isn't even enough. If you have never invited a fellow chat group/neighbour mom over for coffee so the kids can play, then you've got no reason to think you can make them plan B for emergency babysitting; ESPECIALLY at 3am. That's nuts. What if OP is a secret drunk? What if OP is a mom who had kids and then realized she hates kids? What if OP doesn't believe in food allergies or keeping kids away from each other when they're sick? Her neighbour would have no idea, because she doesn't know OP.
Mike F 1 year ago
Gotta love the rationale of most of the YTAs, "it's only 1 hour", how do these people know that what the couple said is true? This woman could have been the next poster of "sending someone's kids to CPS because their parents abandoned them saying it was only for an hour, but it's been X days". Make a plan.
Hey! 1 year ago
And apparently the sister didn't show up before 8am. So there you go. And crashed the lady's place too.
Load More Replies...
Deborah B 1 year ago
NTA. Why didn't just take the kids to the hospital with them? Have Dad stay with the kids in the waiting room until the sister gets there, or a friend. It's not ideal, but neither is dumping them on a stranger with zero notice at 3am. The couple knew that she would be going into labour, and that the sister would take an hour + to reach them, so why hadn't they made plans for that hour? And I question whether this even qualifies as an emergency rather than entitlement. It's an expected event they neglected to prepare for, resulting in the inconvenience of dad having to deal with his own children for an hour while mum is in labour. If it was "Mum is in distress, ambulance is on it's way, Dad has to ride in with her to be on hand incase they need consent for surgery." Then that would be an emergency that justified imposing on a neighbour at 3am. Dad being in the waiting room with the kids for 1 hour is more "Poor planning on your part does not cause an emergancy on mine".
Inglourioustmnt 1 year ago
Yta ppl are nonsensical, bad parents. Leaving kids with a total stranger? Yeah ok. Just take the kids to the hospital and have bf sit with them until the sister arrives. Or have someone come stay with you a couple weeks before your due date. Your poor planning/emergencies are not my problem. As a pilot, if i had a flight the next day and needed sleep, id snap on you for waking me at 3 for anything less than my house being on fire.
Michael MacKinnon 1 year ago
This probably wouldn't have happened in the small town that I grew up in...but that's the point -- people don't have that small-town experience where they know all their neighbours (and pry into their personal lives -- it's a two-edged sword). In today's society, living in a city, having a neighbour do this is no longer expected.
Ron Baza 1 year ago
Even if I had close neighbours I could rely on, I’d probably give them a heads up if there was a chance I might need them to look after my two young children whilst I went to hospital. I’d definitely give them a heads up if they had never looked after my children before. And if I had other neighbours who *had* looked after my children before, I’d probably ask them first.
Load More Replies... Pandaodboredem22 1 year ago
Before I read the final comment, my thoughts were if I were in that scenario- what if sister doesn't come right away? What if the kids are misbehaved? Easy to scream YTA. My wife and I once were going to watch her distant friends two kids for the day so mom could meet new boyfriend for a concert on a Saturday. This morphed into kids being dropped off Friday night with money for one meal, and picked up Sunday. Don't trust a strangers "solid plan."
Hey! 1 year ago
My ex-husband had put my name to babysit a couple's 3 children while he would be doing counseling with them somewhere else. I told him no. He said it was too late. I said I wasn't doing it and you need to tell them right away before they come. He didn't want to because I was the one saying no. After some back and forth I tried calling and they were already on their way (cell phones didn’t exist). So, I just told them when they arrived. Apparently, I made the sinnest of sins because I was the pastor's wife and that was on my task description. I already had 2 young children of my own and I wasn't interested in taking care of 3 monsters. Apart from that, I was making bread and it needed all my attention.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
I am furious for you. Do you sign a contract stating babysitting duties as part of your roles as a pastor's wife? No? Then they can't decide that for you. Even if you WERE somehow contractually bound, you are still entitled to be asked AHEAD of time. I sincerely hope you and your husband managed to sort that out in a fair way after the fact. Just know, that no matter what church you're part of? If your husband continues to abuse his authority as a pastor by disrespecting your boundaries like this, divorce is NOT a sin, and kids are better off in a split home than a home full of pent up resentment, hurt, and anger. My partner has had coworkers who have asked if I could babysit, but neither they nor him would ever think it ok to make plans together without me to have me babysit. They ALSO deeply respect when I say I can't or even don't want to.
Load More Replies...
Stckynote 1 year ago
the person who doesn't participate in the mom group chats and such would not be the person i would randomly ask to watch my kids. at 3am.
Astro 1 year ago
My thoughts exactly! Although I agree with OP for saying no (I personally would have done it for an hour but I would have been seething that the mom didn’t plan ahead and I’d make it clear that I only did this because of the emergency and would definitely never be available again)
Load More Replies... Elio 1 year ago
Internet is full of entitled parents. This woman has other friends in her babysitting group in the building so why not ask them?
Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
NOPE. If you don't have a support plan set in place for medical emergencies, you are not entitled to start demanding strangers take your kids just because you happen to be in the same apartment complex. Being in the same chat group isn't even enough. If you have never invited a fellow chat group/neighbour mom over for coffee so the kids can play, then you've got no reason to think you can make them plan B for emergency babysitting; ESPECIALLY at 3am. That's nuts. What if OP is a secret drunk? What if OP is a mom who had kids and then realized she hates kids? What if OP doesn't believe in food allergies or keeping kids away from each other when they're sick? Her neighbour would have no idea, because she doesn't know OP.
Mike F 1 year ago
Gotta love the rationale of most of the YTAs, "it's only 1 hour", how do these people know that what the couple said is true? This woman could have been the next poster of "sending someone's kids to CPS because their parents abandoned them saying it was only for an hour, but it's been X days". Make a plan.
Hey! 1 year ago
And apparently the sister didn't show up before 8am. So there you go. And crashed the lady's place too.
Load More Replies... Deborah B 1 year ago
NTA. Why didn't just take the kids to the hospital with them? Have Dad stay with the kids in the waiting room until the sister gets there, or a friend. It's not ideal, but neither is dumping them on a stranger with zero notice at 3am. The couple knew that she would be going into labour, and that the sister would take an hour + to reach them, so why hadn't they made plans for that hour? And I question whether this even qualifies as an emergency rather than entitlement. It's an expected event they neglected to prepare for, resulting in the inconvenience of dad having to deal with his own children for an hour while mum is in labour. If it was "Mum is in distress, ambulance is on it's way, Dad has to ride in with her to be on hand incase they need consent for surgery." Then that would be an emergency that justified imposing on a neighbour at 3am. Dad being in the waiting room with the kids for 1 hour is more "Poor planning on your part does not cause an emergancy on mine".
Inglourioustmnt 1 year ago
Yta ppl are nonsensical, bad parents. Leaving kids with a total stranger? Yeah ok. Just take the kids to the hospital and have bf sit with them until the sister arrives. Or have someone come stay with you a couple weeks before your due date. Your poor planning/emergencies are not my problem. As a pilot, if i had a flight the next day and needed sleep, id snap on you for waking me at 3 for anything less than my house being on fire.
Michael MacKinnon 1 year ago
This probably wouldn't have happened in the small town that I grew up in...but that's the point -- people don't have that small-town experience where they know all their neighbours (and pry into their personal lives -- it's a two-edged sword). In today's society, living in a city, having a neighbour do this is no longer expected.
Ron Baza 1 year ago
Even if I had close neighbours I could rely on, I’d probably give them a heads up if there was a chance I might need them to look after my two young children whilst I went to hospital. I’d definitely give them a heads up if they had never looked after my children before. And if I had other neighbours who *had* looked after my children before, I’d probably ask them first.
Load More Replies... Pandaodboredem22 1 year ago
Before I read the final comment, my thoughts were if I were in that scenario- what if sister doesn't come right away? What if the kids are misbehaved? Easy to scream YTA. My wife and I once were going to watch her distant friends two kids for the day so mom could meet new boyfriend for a concert on a Saturday. This morphed into kids being dropped off Friday night with money for one meal, and picked up Sunday. Don't trust a strangers "solid plan."
Hey! 1 year ago
My ex-husband had put my name to babysit a couple's 3 children while he would be doing counseling with them somewhere else. I told him no. He said it was too late. I said I wasn't doing it and you need to tell them right away before they come. He didn't want to because I was the one saying no. After some back and forth I tried calling and they were already on their way (cell phones didn’t exist). So, I just told them when they arrived. Apparently, I made the sinnest of sins because I was the pastor's wife and that was on my task description. I already had 2 young children of my own and I wasn't interested in taking care of 3 monsters. Apart from that, I was making bread and it needed all my attention.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
I am furious for you. Do you sign a contract stating babysitting duties as part of your roles as a pastor's wife? No? Then they can't decide that for you. Even if you WERE somehow contractually bound, you are still entitled to be asked AHEAD of time. I sincerely hope you and your husband managed to sort that out in a fair way after the fact. Just know, that no matter what church you're part of? If your husband continues to abuse his authority as a pastor by disrespecting your boundaries like this, divorce is NOT a sin, and kids are better off in a split home than a home full of pent up resentment, hurt, and anger. My partner has had coworkers who have asked if I could babysit, but neither they nor him would ever think it ok to make plans together without me to have me babysit. They ALSO deeply respect when I say I can't or even don't want to.
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