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Daughter Turns 18 And Mom No Longer Gets Child Benefits, Decides To Charge Rent Over $500
Remember when you were a kid and being an adult seemed like the dream? You’d be living your best life, no curfews, doing whatever you wanted. Then, bam, adulthood hits, and suddenly you’re buried under a mountain of bills and responsibilities, daydreaming about nap times and snack breaks. Oh, the irony.
For one 18-year-old, the harsh reality of “adulting” is about to hit her like a ton of bricks. Her mom is asking her to cough up £400 a month in rent while she’s taking a gap year. Let’s just say this daughter isn’t exactly thrilled about this unexpected crash course in adulthood.
More info: Mumsnet
RELATED:
The transition to adulthood often comes with unexpected lessons, and sometimes those lessons come with a price tag
Image credits: lookstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One 18-year-old is learning this the hard way, as her mom asks her to pay £400 a month in rent during her gap year
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Despite contributing to household chores, the daughter argues the rent is too steep, making it hard for her to save enough to move out
Image credits: Colin Watts / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: mangomel
Mom asks if she’s being unreasonable to ask her 18-year-old daughter to pay £400 in rent while she lives at home in her gap year
This mom’s 18-year-old daughter, freshly graduated and in that classic gap year limbo, is trying to figure out life, like most of us, while scoping out a job. But mom’s got other plans. With the child benefits drying up fast, she’s decided it’s high time her daughter “contributed” to the household, by charging her £400 in rent. Unsurprisingly, the daughter is not jumping for joy at the idea.
We can imagine the dramatic sighs and eye-rolls, paired with some classic “but moooom!” whining. But this daughter’s got her defense lined up, too. Apparently, she’s already doing “all” the cooking and cleaning so, in her mind, that should count toward the rent.
On top of that, she’s convinced that with this extra dent in her wallet, she’ll never be able to save up and get out of the house. Mom, on the other hand, is sticking to her guns, saying this is a necessary step in teaching financial responsibility. Bills don’t pay themselves, after all. We’ve already checked.
Now, while this little rent spat might seem like your standard family drama, maybe toss in a slammed door or two, it raises a bigger question: Should parents be charging their adult kids rent? And if so, what’s a fair price before they start googling “cheap cardboard boxes to live in”?
Experts in the world of adulting, aka financial advisors, say charging rent can be a solid strategy to teach young adults some much-needed money management skills. You know, the stuff we all could’ve used back when we thought balancing a checkbook was some sort of circus trick.
But they also stress the importance of setting a reasonable rent. Some experts even suggest researching the cost of renting a room in a shared house, with bills and food included, just to show your kid how good they’ve got it.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Of course, every family situation is different, so it’s important to have a sit-down chat that doesn’t end in a door slam. Set some ground rules about why the rent is necessary and where the money’s going—hopefully not all toward avocado toast.
Parents should make sure they’re not putting unnecessary pressure on their kids, especially if they’re still trying to get their financial footing or save up for their own place. And that’s exactly the 18-year-old’s concern here.
The daughter’s made it crystal clear: she thinks her mom is being unreasonable for asking her to fork over £400 a month. Her big argument? She’s already pulling her weight around the house, slaving away over the stove, doing dishes, and probably folding the never-ending pile of laundry.
So, should all those chores count as rent? Well, not exactly. Let’s be honest—if we could pay rent with vacuuming hours, we’d all be living in beachfront mansions by now.
But the daughter’s point about saving is legit. Financial experts suggest finding a happy medium by charging a lower rent while encouraging them to save. A portion of that rent money could even go straight into a savings account, so they’re learning both how to contribute and how to stash some cash away. Win-win, right?
What do you think of this story? Is the mom being unreasonable to charge her daughter £400 for rent, or does the daughter need to step up and pay her fair share? Let us know in the comment section.
People who commented on this post say that, while it’s okay to want to teach kids about financial responsibility by charging rent, £400 is too steep for an 18-year-old
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What do you think ?
Natasha Clark 1 year ago
With that said, she'd be better off just leaving since it clearly sounds like you want her to cover the majority of the expenses so you can save money to move & she'll have nearly nothing for when time for her to go to college. She maybe young/naive, I'm older/wiser to see what you're doing. Your the type that like to play the system & she eventually is the newest target. YTA... hands down!!
Natasha Clark 1 year ago
LOL! Let me get this straight... OP been living off government benefits including disability but can clean, run errands & hope to one day move too while at the same time asked her daughter who I'm sure didn't put in a request to be born for nearly half a grand to help with living expenses because the "child benefits" expired??? You, OP can get a job if active like that, even if it's just sitting at a desk doing part time customer service. That's a serious a*****e move to request that amount of money from your only child as soon as she turned 18. You as a parent obviously failed to discuss this & plan for this well in advance for YOU knew that eventually the child benefits would be discontinued (17 years to be exact). The daughter could've gotten a head start finding a steady job at 16 if not much experience in the workforce yet. Didn't even mention what you'll contribute to the household bills other than food but sounds like you expect her to pay for nearly everything.
Meagan Glaser 1 year ago
don't forget mom pointed out that she didn't *need* the rent money, she just felt entitled to charge it. And the kid does *all* the cooking and cleaning. So mom doesn't work, cook, clean, or carry her groceries. But is pretty sure the child who does all those things needs to pony up for...reasons...
Load More Replies...
Meowzers! 1 year ago (edited)
In 2000, when I finished school at 16, my mum drove me to McDonald's as soon as I was past the age threshold and told me to apply as I needed to start paying board (the good old days of walking into a place to ask for an application form). I got the job and was on £3.25 an hour. I initially wanted to do part-time work and go to college to further my education. I managed that for a few months but my mum wanted £80 a week in rent and board from me, so I had to quit college and work full time so I could earn £120 a week (37hrs) before tax. I moved out when I turned 17 and private rented my first flat, though I did lie on my application and said I was 18, and I wrote and printed my own personal references. It was before all the checks they do now, so I went to view, said I'd take it, and moved in the same day. It all worked out great. Right up until i had my first psychotic breakdown, and the 3 that followed and the hospitalisation that followed those, but apart from that, it was great.
Ben Aziza 1 year ago (edited)
I am from a third world shithole and my college education was free. continuing it abroad in the EU which also cost me like 400 euros for the initial paperwork and that was it... I was lucky enough to have parents who paid for my stay abroad which i paid them back for later... You were born in a country with neo slavery...and i get the suspicion it is a first world county called the USA... Working at 16 to pay for collage in YOUR OWN COUNTRY is so god dam dystopian... I hope you are doing better now.
Load More Replies...
Lost Panda 1 year ago
That rent is too d*mn high. My children know that once they are finished with school (be it high school or college) they will pay board, but no where near that much... It will be solely to help them learn to budget (phones payments start when they have started their first part time) while allowing them not to worry about every bill. The wife and I already stated some will be saved and some will go toward the household for utilities/food/etc., but $400... good god...
Mari 1 year ago
Yes, you have to learn your kids to save money, how to pay the bills, how to do the household but to ask a rent??? I learn my kids how to be responsable, to contribute and to do favors, but I will not be their landlord, I am their mum and they are always welcome in my house.
Load More Replies...
The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
You’d really like the money her dad gives her to go to you. And for her to be unable to save so she can’t leave and continue to be your carer. You are really going to struggle once she moves out, won’t you? T Her focus during her gap year should be saving for university or other career training. Since I doubt you are contributing to her education, this is the least you can do.
Lexi 1 year ago (edited)
I think it's a bit too high, at 17 I had to pay £15 a week when I was only getting £29.50 a week on a crummy youth (slave) training scheme that the UK had in the 90's, I was forced to do and had no say in the matter. I hated it, and hated the fact I worked a 40 hour week for such a sh!tty amount while people who were directly employed of the same age got £100 a week. Add to that I was only left with £14.50 a week to buy all my own toiletries, sanitary products, and lunch. Then when it became £32 a week I had to pay £20 a week leaving me worse off. The only thing it taught me was to hate adults who thought they had the right to exploit teens.
Jenny Mason 1 year ago
I didn't last long on my YTS. I was a window dresser for a chain of shoe shops and they expected me to travel to different towns, my travel costs had to come out of my £25 per week. I was also paying £15 a week board and there was no way I could afford the travel from home daily on that pathetic "wage".
Load More Replies...
Janice 1 year ago
I paid rent when I turned 18 until I moved out at 25. What my mother didn't tell me is she put my rent money into an account and after I found an apartment, she gave me a check so I could buy things and have a small nest egg for surprise expenses. I know I was blessed to have her and now, 30 years later, I encourage others, who can afford it - and it sounds like OP can - to consider doing the same
Natasha Clark 1 year ago
With that said, she'd be better off just leaving since it clearly sounds like you want her to cover the majority of the expenses so you can save money to move & she'll have nearly nothing for when time for her to go to college. She maybe young/naive, I'm older/wiser to see what you're doing. Your the type that like to play the system & she eventually is the newest target. YTA... hands down!!
Natasha Clark 1 year ago
LOL! Let me get this straight... OP been living off government benefits including disability but can clean, run errands & hope to one day move too while at the same time asked her daughter who I'm sure didn't put in a request to be born for nearly half a grand to help with living expenses because the "child benefits" expired??? You, OP can get a job if active like that, even if it's just sitting at a desk doing part time customer service. That's a serious a*****e move to request that amount of money from your only child as soon as she turned 18. You as a parent obviously failed to discuss this & plan for this well in advance for YOU knew that eventually the child benefits would be discontinued (17 years to be exact). The daughter could've gotten a head start finding a steady job at 16 if not much experience in the workforce yet. Didn't even mention what you'll contribute to the household bills other than food but sounds like you expect her to pay for nearly everything.
Meagan Glaser 1 year ago
don't forget mom pointed out that she didn't *need* the rent money, she just felt entitled to charge it. And the kid does *all* the cooking and cleaning. So mom doesn't work, cook, clean, or carry her groceries. But is pretty sure the child who does all those things needs to pony up for...reasons...
Load More Replies... Meowzers! 1 year ago (edited)
In 2000, when I finished school at 16, my mum drove me to McDonald's as soon as I was past the age threshold and told me to apply as I needed to start paying board (the good old days of walking into a place to ask for an application form). I got the job and was on £3.25 an hour. I initially wanted to do part-time work and go to college to further my education. I managed that for a few months but my mum wanted £80 a week in rent and board from me, so I had to quit college and work full time so I could earn £120 a week (37hrs) before tax. I moved out when I turned 17 and private rented my first flat, though I did lie on my application and said I was 18, and I wrote and printed my own personal references. It was before all the checks they do now, so I went to view, said I'd take it, and moved in the same day. It all worked out great. Right up until i had my first psychotic breakdown, and the 3 that followed and the hospitalisation that followed those, but apart from that, it was great.
Ben Aziza 1 year ago (edited)
I am from a third world shithole and my college education was free. continuing it abroad in the EU which also cost me like 400 euros for the initial paperwork and that was it... I was lucky enough to have parents who paid for my stay abroad which i paid them back for later... You were born in a country with neo slavery...and i get the suspicion it is a first world county called the USA... Working at 16 to pay for collage in YOUR OWN COUNTRY is so god dam dystopian... I hope you are doing better now.
Load More Replies... Lost Panda 1 year ago
That rent is too d*mn high. My children know that once they are finished with school (be it high school or college) they will pay board, but no where near that much... It will be solely to help them learn to budget (phones payments start when they have started their first part time) while allowing them not to worry about every bill. The wife and I already stated some will be saved and some will go toward the household for utilities/food/etc., but $400... good god...
Mari 1 year ago
Yes, you have to learn your kids to save money, how to pay the bills, how to do the household but to ask a rent??? I learn my kids how to be responsable, to contribute and to do favors, but I will not be their landlord, I am their mum and they are always welcome in my house.
Load More Replies... The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
You’d really like the money her dad gives her to go to you. And for her to be unable to save so she can’t leave and continue to be your carer. You are really going to struggle once she moves out, won’t you? T Her focus during her gap year should be saving for university or other career training. Since I doubt you are contributing to her education, this is the least you can do.
Lexi 1 year ago (edited)
I think it's a bit too high, at 17 I had to pay £15 a week when I was only getting £29.50 a week on a crummy youth (slave) training scheme that the UK had in the 90's, I was forced to do and had no say in the matter. I hated it, and hated the fact I worked a 40 hour week for such a sh!tty amount while people who were directly employed of the same age got £100 a week. Add to that I was only left with £14.50 a week to buy all my own toiletries, sanitary products, and lunch. Then when it became £32 a week I had to pay £20 a week leaving me worse off. The only thing it taught me was to hate adults who thought they had the right to exploit teens.
Jenny Mason 1 year ago
I didn't last long on my YTS. I was a window dresser for a chain of shoe shops and they expected me to travel to different towns, my travel costs had to come out of my £25 per week. I was also paying £15 a week board and there was no way I could afford the travel from home daily on that pathetic "wage".
Load More Replies... Janice 1 year ago
I paid rent when I turned 18 until I moved out at 25. What my mother didn't tell me is she put my rent money into an account and after I found an apartment, she gave me a check so I could buy things and have a small nest egg for surprise expenses. I know I was blessed to have her and now, 30 years later, I encourage others, who can afford it - and it sounds like OP can - to consider doing the same
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