“A Kid Isn’t A Freeloading Roommate”: Mom Goes Viral For Explaining How Kids “Don’t Owe Their Parents Anything”
Kids don’t owe their parents anything. That’s the idea that full-time mom Lisa Pontius believes everyone ought to hear. In a viral TikTok video, she explains exactly why she believes that it’s wrong to guilt children into thinking that they owe their parents a certain type of relationship and respect because of everything they’ve done for them. Once they grow up, it’s for them to decide what the relationship should be like. And providing for your child’s physical and financial needs is a parent’s responsibility; it’s not done to make your child blindly obey you in the future.
At the time of writing, the video already had 4.1 million views, 642k likes, and 70.8k shares which just goes to show just how much the topic about setting boundaries with loved ones resonated with TikTok viewers.
Lisa pointed out that she’s perfectly aware that her views are controversial and likely to make quite a few people angry. Check out her video below and let us know what you think of her parenting philosophy, dear Pandas.
Do you agree with her? Do you think that kids really do owe their parents a lot for everything they’ve done? Or do you think the situation is much more nuanced and not as clear-cut as it seems? Share your thoughts and insights in the comment section.
More info: TikTok | Instagram | ItsMeLisaP.com
Full-time mom Lisa gave her honest opinion about why she thinks kids don’t owe their parents anything
Image credits: itsme_lisap
Her video went viral and has over 4.1 million views. You can watch the full version right over here
@itsme_lisapAlready anticipating the Karen’s in the comments ##parenting ##parentsoftiktok ##parentchildrelationship ##respect ##boundaries♬ original sound – Lisa P
In her video, Lisa points out that all the things that parents do for their kids should be considered, well, parenting. You’re supposed to take care of your kid, provide a roof over their head, feed them, and do all the hundreds of things, small and large, that help them grow up into a fully-functioning adult. It’s a responsibility that you signed up for.
“You don’t get a participation trophy for housing your child or keeping your child clean. The whole ‘roof over your head’ argument is manipulative, because in theory, wouldn’t you have had a place to live for yourself regardless of if you had children? A kid isn’t a freeloading roommate, they’re your dependent and your responsibility,” Lisa told BuzzFeed in an interview.
According to Lisa, providing for your kids is a responsibility, not a way to force them into having the relationship you want with them once they grow up
Image credits: itsme.lisap
Image credits: itsme.lisap
According to the mom, even though not everyone “rises to the occasion” when it comes to parenting, they’re still supposed to do the bare minimum. Taking care of your children’s physical and financial needs is expected of you. Lisa added that a level above that is taking care of their emotional needs as well and that’s what separates good parents from average ones.
Providing for your child isn’t done so that your kid will blindly obey everything that you will say once they grow up. What’s more, Lisa pointed out that no matter how good of a job you think you’ve done, there’s always a chance that your kids won’t want to spend time with you in the future.
That’s because, in her words, you don’t get to pick your kids or the struggles that they go through. At the end of the day, you should aim to be the best parent you can be and you might get the relationship with your child that you want in the future. But it’s not a guarantee because your kids are people, too.
In her blog, Lisa shares that she’s an ex-private chef from New York who moved to Charleston and became a housewife. Lisa lives with her husband, two kids (firstborn Lyla and son Miles), and a dog that she feeds too much.
“After having kids, and turning 30 I found myself in a crisis of style and situation. I took myself out of the food and beverage world to be a full-time mom and wife. Struggling to find my new identity and figure out who I was, I found myself creating this new me through style,” she writes.
“It took me a few years to figure out this whole fashion thing, but here I am, with a fully curated and ever-evolving sense of personal style that has made me a more vibrant version of myself.”
Here’s how people have been reacting to Lisa’s controversial-yet-honest video
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Life is hard. Very hard, in fact. Children are had because parents wanted them (sometimes pressured to) either because they want to see mini versions of themselves, want the feeling of being parents, want to salvage relationships, want an heir..whatever - that's where it all starts. Parents wanted them - the kids didn't ask to be here, didn't ask parents to give up their jobs, etc. When you decide to bring a human being into this world, you have responsibilities - to raise them until they are able to take care of themselves. That is your responsibility as someone who decided to create a human into this life where they'll have to live for 70+ years and go through a massive amount of events, many unpleasant/upsetting. So I agree with the lady.
So, all children are planned and wanted? Interesting.
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I have no idea why some people think we owe some kind of groveling adulation to our parents. My dad beat us. He didn't earn my love or my respect as a parent. I wouldn't leave him to die, but I wouldn't do that to a total stranger... b/c my MOM raised me, and encouraged me to be an individual, make choices, be adult, and if I wanted to move far away, hey, she'll be happy to see my when she can. She earned my respect as an adult, she gave enough love to me as a child that I could never be in doubt of her love, and she has never once demanded anything in return once I became an adult but the same courtesy she taught me to give to strangers. Ergo: How is it ungrateful to live your life when that life is what your parent(s) raised you to live to the best of your (not their) ability?
Damnnnnnn. As someone who has no relationship with the person who raised me, and little relationship with my father, I really needed to hear this. I have been guilted by so many family members into believing that I owe my parents something for providing for me. Even though it's healthier for me to not have a relationship with them. Damn. This message means a lot to me.
Life is hard. Very hard, in fact. Children are had because parents wanted them (sometimes pressured to) either because they want to see mini versions of themselves, want the feeling of being parents, want to salvage relationships, want an heir..whatever - that's where it all starts. Parents wanted them - the kids didn't ask to be here, didn't ask parents to give up their jobs, etc. When you decide to bring a human being into this world, you have responsibilities - to raise them until they are able to take care of themselves. That is your responsibility as someone who decided to create a human into this life where they'll have to live for 70+ years and go through a massive amount of events, many unpleasant/upsetting. So I agree with the lady.
So, all children are planned and wanted? Interesting.
Load More Replies... I have no idea why some people think we owe some kind of groveling adulation to our parents. My dad beat us. He didn't earn my love or my respect as a parent. I wouldn't leave him to die, but I wouldn't do that to a total stranger... b/c my MOM raised me, and encouraged me to be an individual, make choices, be adult, and if I wanted to move far away, hey, she'll be happy to see my when she can. She earned my respect as an adult, she gave enough love to me as a child that I could never be in doubt of her love, and she has never once demanded anything in return once I became an adult but the same courtesy she taught me to give to strangers. Ergo: How is it ungrateful to live your life when that life is what your parent(s) raised you to live to the best of your (not their) ability?
Damnnnnnn. As someone who has no relationship with the person who raised me, and little relationship with my father, I really needed to hear this. I have been guilted by so many family members into believing that I owe my parents something for providing for me. Even though it's healthier for me to not have a relationship with them. Damn. This message means a lot to me.
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