Mom Who Can’t Get Any Sleep Because Of Parenting Gets Slammed By Folks Online For “Canceling” Her Step-Daughter’s Weekend Visits
Growing up to be an adult means a lot of things. The one thing everyone megaloathes about it, though, is slowly but surely becoming a part of the Always Tired Club. Perhaps also becoming the president of it. And guess what happens when you have kids?
Needless to say, exhaustion can kick in really quickly. In fact, it can progress to such a degree that you can start prioritizing sleep over absolutely everything else in life. Like family obligations.
Well, an overly exhausted mother recently turned to the internet to talk about this very situation, and to ask who is the jerk here—her step-daughter who keeps coming in every other weekend, or the mom, who just can’t get no sleep.
More Info: Reddit
What do you do when sleep deprivation kicks in and you have kids to take care of? Well, there are many solutions…
Image credits: Dan Harrelson (not the actual image )
A mother of 3 kids—4 months, 2 years and 4 years—recently went to Reddit, specifically the Am I The A-Hole subreddit, to settle a dilemma she had. One that involves lack of sleep and an upset step-daughter.
In particular, she has her 13-year-old step-daughter come over every other week for a visit. This way, she gets to spend time with her biological dad and step-siblings.
However, there’s a bit of a problem. As you might have already guessed, the three other kids are still at an age that requires quite a bit of investment in terms of time and attention. Even more so if you have a kid that is super fussy and has rough nights on the regular: The 4-month-old.
… However, eliminating time with your step-daughter isn’t a solution as folks online have ruled for this mom of 3 and her husband
Image credits: u/National_Law_6665
Image credits: Lynda A (not the actual image)
It has become so bad that the parents are practically living on a prayer sleep-wise. They work all day, don’t get any sleep due to the baby experiencing colic pain, so the only time they can catch up on sleep is the weekend. This in turn means nearly no time for the teen daughter the dad has from another relationship.
Well, because this is seemingly happening often enough that the parents have to cancel their time with the step-daughter, she decided to get it off her shoulders and post her dissatisfaction on social media. According to OP, the daughter wrote “my dad and step mom can’t even take care of the kids they have. Yet they keep having more. So much for a reliable loving parent.”
Because they work all day, and don’t get to sleep all that much, they try to catch up on it over the weekend, but that means no time for the husband’s teen
Image credits: u/National_Law_6665
Image credits: storebukkebruse (not the actual image )
It didn’t take long for the husband’s family to start asking questions. The in-laws got involved and started blaming them for practically abandoning the 13-year-old. They also stopped helping them with the younger kids altogether.
OP’s stance is that you can only blame the circumstances—it’s not like anyone asked for a colicky baby. And so the question was passed on to the AITA community, which was of a different opinion.
Many came out to say that OP was, sadly, in the wrong. While they did understand that the colicky baby was surely not anyone’s fault, OP’s solution to the problem was unfair to the step-daughter. This effectively meant that her father is disappearing from her life, and that is not good.
The AITA community ruled that the parents are, sadly, in the wrong here, and that something has to be done
Others added that this sort of prioritizing might end up leading to an attitude that the kid is not wanted, which will lead to other, bigger issues in her development. One user even flipped the situation around and asked what if it was her 2 or 4-year-old that was in the 13-year-old’s shoes?
Yet others suggested perhaps trying to tag-team more, trying to solve the problem by one parent sleeping and the other looking after the kids, and vice versa, so there’s at least some balance in the family.
The post got some modest attention with nearly 6,000 upvotes and 2,300 comments and a handful of awards. And speaking of which, you can read the post with all of the comments in context here.
But, before you do that, tell us your thoughts on this. What solutions would you suggest to make this all work? Share your ideas in the comment section below!
It’s funny when they post/pose their question thinking most redditors or commenters are going to be their flying monkeys. And it backfires!!
Right!? Gotta love it when delusional entitled a**hats post about their bad behavior expecting to get a pat on the back.
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Wow. It sure was a mistake for Dad to crank out three more kids if he didn't have time for the child who already existed. There is no excuse for kicking his eldest to the curb, just because he met another, meaner woman. Hope that the daughter gets infinite love from the side of the family that cares about her, and that karma eats these two jackasses alive.
They're a**holes, not monsters. A monster would be my father, who flatout refused to spend time with me unless I specifically sought it out (and even then, he'd cancel or flat out forget more often than not). I remember crying myself to sleep wondering what I did to make him hate me as old as 9. At 14, I realized he didn't hate me. I just simply didn't matter to him. Here, at least the AH parents know the daughter is taken care of, and in their sleep deprived states, know that they couldn't give her the attention and care she needs. Dont get me wrong, they ARE a**holes, but at least its the better option to having her over and neglecting her.
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Here is a point that seems to be missing. This 13 yr old in theory has two homes. You don’t get invited to come home, you just go home. The father and his new wife don’t view their house as her home or this wouldn’t even be an issue. They are the assholes. She is thirteen, how much engagement does she really need? This also probably means that none of her favorite things that occupy her in her mother’s HOME exist in their house. If it did, she would be doing whatever she does in her other space there while they slept and recovered because that is how life would be if she actually lived there.
It's vitally for a girl to have a relationship with her father, especially at this age. The 13YO is NOT TA but her father and stepmother are absolutely AHs.
Load More Replies... It’s funny when they post/pose their question thinking most redditors or commenters are going to be their flying monkeys. And it backfires!!
Right!? Gotta love it when delusional entitled a**hats post about their bad behavior expecting to get a pat on the back.
Load More Replies... Wow. It sure was a mistake for Dad to crank out three more kids if he didn't have time for the child who already existed. There is no excuse for kicking his eldest to the curb, just because he met another, meaner woman. Hope that the daughter gets infinite love from the side of the family that cares about her, and that karma eats these two jackasses alive.
They're a**holes, not monsters. A monster would be my father, who flatout refused to spend time with me unless I specifically sought it out (and even then, he'd cancel or flat out forget more often than not). I remember crying myself to sleep wondering what I did to make him hate me as old as 9. At 14, I realized he didn't hate me. I just simply didn't matter to him. Here, at least the AH parents know the daughter is taken care of, and in their sleep deprived states, know that they couldn't give her the attention and care she needs. Dont get me wrong, they ARE a**holes, but at least its the better option to having her over and neglecting her.
Load More Replies... Here is a point that seems to be missing. This 13 yr old in theory has two homes. You don’t get invited to come home, you just go home. The father and his new wife don’t view their house as her home or this wouldn’t even be an issue. They are the assholes. She is thirteen, how much engagement does she really need? This also probably means that none of her favorite things that occupy her in her mother’s HOME exist in their house. If it did, she would be doing whatever she does in her other space there while they slept and recovered because that is how life would be if she actually lived there.
It's vitally for a girl to have a relationship with her father, especially at this age. The 13YO is NOT TA but her father and stepmother are absolutely AHs.
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