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Being a woman in 2023 can be both empowering and challenging. That's why we still need sources of laughter and inspiration, and @laughing.chicks on Instagram provides exactly that.
This account is a space to come together and look at the shared experiences of womanhood with a bit of levity. From navigating the dating world to dealing with sexist bosses, it has us covered with their funny and relatable memes.
So let's join the account's 454K followers and take a look at what content it has to offer.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
Which would you rather watch? Joyous Kitchen or The Hell Of Painting?
RELATED:
#2
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
I mean, you should get yearly maintenance on your cat, as well... XD
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Mark Fuller 2 years ago
My meek, mild SIL is a purchaser for Jaguar Land Rover. A trip to the garage or car show room with her is always hysterical. She just gives them the rope and lets the male mechanics and salesmen hang themselves, before going in for the kill!
Arwen 2 years ago
The standard test of whether a car is roadworthy in the UK.
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Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
Oh my god, I would do this at every opportunity! I would even go with my friends for their MOTs too!
We managed to get in touch with the person behind @laughing.chicks and they agreed to tell us more about running the account.
"Initially, the page began as me creating memes that I thought were funny," they told Bored Panda. "I was working and my work is very boring and I wanted to do something more expressive. So I started creating the page and memes."
"Over time, as the page grew, I realized that there are people much funnier than me. So I started curating more and giving them credit. Along the way, I have not only supported creators but have made friends such as Nina Marie (@ninamariedaniele) and Vinny Fasline(@vinnyfasline). Over time, I got an understanding of what my followers like and more importantly, do not like, and selecting memes is now second nature."
#3
juice 2 years ago
i found this visual a while ago and i think it helps: https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/120555776_1243565625996157_7291754763861219842_n.jpg?stp=cp0_dst-jpg_e15_fr_q65&_nc_cat=110&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=BdyeMvt3n8IAX93OXlP&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=00_AfANf9CD8gmfg-5UwKoKBfQAm7v8CwgBwRrMXT3subhghw&oe=646A644F
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Ellison Kendall (they/them) 2 years ago
This is actually why some autistic people are picky eaters, and there safe foods might be prepackaged stuff
David 2 years ago
If they dunked every piece of fruit in that much salty fake cheese dust they would taste the same as well.
tuzdayschild 2 years ago (edited)
Let me tell you something David. There is nothing you could ever say to make me love Doritos less. It’s true love David.
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Seamus Crumley 2 years ago
Here's the real problem with fruit. Painting - what is the difference between pear white and apple white. Lime or watermelon green? There are many more examples. My wife can see the difference. I can't, so just pick white or green and eat the fruit at home.
Red PANda (she/they) 2 years ago
Females actually have more color receptors in their eyes so they can distinguish colors better :P
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Mike_The_Nike 2 years ago
if you roll a blueberry and make it squishy it tastes SOO GOOD (or at least better than sour)
#4
Peppy 2 years ago
I’m so glad I just read this , was just about to deal with the same thing the same way. Think I’ll leave it alone now,
Nikole 2 years ago
Leave it alone! Besides an actual scar, you could irreparably burst a blood vessel and have to deal with that right in the middle of your face until the day you die.
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#5
Id row 2 years ago
A perfect example of a Time Burglar™. God, I couldn't stand them. What they should do is separate the introverts from the extroverts. Introverts get to wfh since they thrive when in their element and extroverts should go back in and spend half the day wasting time socializing. Guess whose numbers will be more productive?
Krzystofersson 2 years ago
@july36686422 you should get yourself a friend, your colleagues are not really your friends even if they're nice to you
ChickyChicky 2 years ago
100%. Whenever I go into the office I just plan on not getting any work done because people will just talk and talk and talk. At home it's quiet and I can bust through my tasks.
"I found relatable memes are the ones that resonate the most. [Universal topics,] such as complaining about work, or bonding with your coworkers tend to do the best."
However, the account owner added that the platform also indirectly dictates what to post. "It really depends on Instagram, they keep innovating and changing the algorithm, and as creators and curators, we have to adapt. For example, Instagram went very heavy about a year ago on videos, but now they have come back to photos and added more value to them. So hoping to keep staying ahead of the algorithm and making new partnerships with comedians to keep the page engaged and growing."
#6
Annik Perrot 2 years ago
Basically telling you the doctor's time is precious, but yours isn't.
Emerald Joanna 2 years ago
I hate to be all serious but I am a GP & the reason I run behind is because I'm giving the time to patients who need it. I also prefer people to be 2 minutes early, not 15, cos they will likely not be seen on time!!
Bobby 2 years ago (edited)
Honestly I just hate the places that say you being 30-60 min is a missed appointment and there is a$50 missed appointment fee. These are always the ones that are super strict about that fee, but think I'm out of my mind to ask for 50 off the bill when the doc made me wait in the exam room before coming in for that same 30 to 60 minutes
Load More Replies... Jared Robinson 2 years ago
I hate doctors they make you feel like you are wasting their time. It's why most people don't ask questions at the doctor even when they should or need to. Doctors don't want to hear what your problems are. And if they do they need to do a better job of showing it. So many people suffer cause doctors just don't seem like they can be bothered.
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
that's why my GI is one of my favorite doctors. She talks everything out about her plan, and what certain medical terms mean. She normally ends up spending around the same amount of time as we waited with us. Mind you we come to doctor appointments early. And she's so sweet, she takes the time to get to know her patients
Load More Replies... Seamus Crumley 2 years ago
had to wait 1 hour for bloods. It was a bloody donation
Load More Replies... Chintan Shah 2 years ago (edited)
As a doctor with a schedule of patients, I don't know why hospitals and clinics advise coming early. I'm unfortunately never early to see any of my patients. This is because insurance companies dictate how much time we get to see a patient and I don't like to kick people out when their time is up better it's a f*****g medical appointment - patients should get as much time as they need.
Brenda 2 years ago
I always try to schedule Dr's appointments early in the day for just this reason
Sue User 2 years ago
I once scheduked the first appointment of the day. Doctor was stil 20 minutes late.
Load More Replies... Tim Nicebutdim 2 years ago
Not my doctor, oh no, telephone triage now, the doctor will phone you between 3pm and 6pm. Fine. 8:45pm, is that Tim? It's the doctor.
#7
Ilia Bauer 2 years ago
Cop: You see a mountain lion. What do you do? Me: "Pspspspspsps! Cop: ... okay, bad test question....
Luna Crow 2 years ago
Honestly this sounds far more accurate than the "recite the alphabet backwards" one. Who can even do that sober?
Ann Coffman 2 years ago
Me. Truth be told, I practiced and practiced until it almost comes naturally, just in case I get asked to do that if I get pulled over. Side note: I can also read upside down and backwards.
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Krzystofersson 2 years ago
Taco Bell is the sh#$ that you will only eat if you're A) a starving college student, or B) heavily drunk on all-night bender
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#8
Arunika R. 2 years ago
So you're a fish? Because you definitely aren't trash
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Gillian Burnett 2 years ago
I remember when I was little one of my older brothers got dumped and it was being spoken about while we were all eating dinner, and someone said “plenty more fish in the sea” and 8 or 9 year old me said “yeah, but you’re a frog” - our other brothers thought that was hilarious! 😂
Zoey Rayne 2 years ago
Also, who cares how many other fish there are if you only want one particular fish?
ROSESARERED 2 years ago
Small town, women outnumber the men. ' the odds are good, but the goods are odd'..... that's how it feels in my 'ocean'....or maybe it's just the drip in the tap
#9
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Everyone knows dinosaurs are massive! I'm practically a giant next to my chick's toy cars
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Cyber Returns 2 years ago
You don't think all those chicken nuggets come from a small chicken do you?
Watery cereal 2 years ago
One is a snack, one is not. Don't worry, I'm not in the mood for chicken
#10
D. Pitbull 2 years ago
I get this. I understand this completely. How long do you expect me to hold 99% of the conversation? The only response ever given is either one syllable or says 'nothing'. "So I just saw this movie, here's what I thought [brief overview] - what'd you think?" - response: "Yeah. Was good." .... "So I'm having this issue with (a game, an appliance, a situation, a crossword puzzle, whatever), any ideas?" - response: "Dunno, don't do that stuff" - Imagine that for **EVERYTHING** that is said. EVERYTHING. Even when you ask about **THEIR** thing (like you know they are an artist, so you ask about their artwork).. they give these say-nothing responses like "Yeah, did lots of stuff". C'mon. Seriously. This person isnt' being an a$$, they were asked a question and they answered it honestly and with reasons to back it up.
Joy JoyJoy 2 years ago
The person even just replied "wow" for that wall of text. Explains a lot.
Load More Replies... crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago
'How was your day' is the only way I know how to communicate tho
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
with my best friend that often turns into a story of something that happened to either of us. Honestly there's only a few other ways I can think of to start a conversation
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BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
honestly great question. I can hold conversations with my best friend over text, and a few of my other friends, but with my ex it was never an interesting conversation. He gave those one word answers so I started giving one word answers and all of a sudden we weren't talking as much. Who would have thought!
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Speedgoat 2 years ago
Hold up. So asking "how was your day" is a bad thing? Not stimulating? Someone help me out here because that's my line!
Linouchka 2 years ago
It's not a bad thing to ask AS AN OPENING. If it's all you have to say and then not following through with anything interesting to nourish the conversation, it's bad, because it's lazy. Conversation is a game between two players, not one player against a silent wall.
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timothythefrog (he/they) 2 years ago
that's mean though? they ghosted them for saying "How was your day"" too much? i dont understand how this is a funny got'em meme when there have been articles on this website where the other person's side of the interaction would fit right in
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
with some people that's all they'll ask and then never talk about anything else if that makes sense
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Wide Awake at 3am 2 years ago
Does this look right....it took one minute for them to think about the question, type up that long reply, get the grammar perfect, and hit send? It would have taken me much longer to craft that beauty.
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
I'm a wicked fast thinker and typer. BP often tells me I'm posting comments to fast lol
Load More Replies... #11
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
Unless you are wishing for your engine to seize.
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#12
HogHedge 2 years ago
It is! Especially on your own. A 3-day hike in remote back country in NZ. Can't beat it.
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Lakota Wolf 2 years ago (edited)
Some people have way less of a choice about drugs than they do hiking. That's not even a remotely sensical or fair comparison/analogy. Addiction is a disease and it's not easy to "just quit". Hiking isn't remotely comparable to addiction, friend.
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It's ame Mario 2 years ago
My ancetors hiked to find food....I evolved and now drive to Taco Bell it's evolution
Krzystofersson 2 years ago
Anyone who thinks that is seriously misguided and has no idea what they are missing!
#13
And the like 2 years ago
So we're not even women now, we are vagina owners... talk to me about objectification
Liu Woods 2 years ago
No one’s stopping you from calling yourself a woman though? This particular woman just used a different term for her funny tweet, she has every right you do to choose what terms to use in a joke about periods
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Fabian Bernard 2 years ago
Let's talk also about the forties: a pain in the rib ? That's it, cancer, heart attack ! Irradiation in the fingers ? Huuu , I'm probably having a seizure...That pillow was one inch on the bad side, now I'll end up in a wheelchair
starsailor (they/he) 2 years ago
i'm not even in college and i already feel this. my back hurts in such a way that i half expect giant angel wings to pop out of it
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Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
Loll mood. Currently laying here suffering with a hot water bottle
Holly Stevens 2 years ago
In my case, one time it was my appendix rupturing, but someone had told me your appendix was "the worst pain you've ever felt" and as a period haver, it wasn't so I didn't know
Doodles1983 2 years ago
What makes me a woman? The packaging. What makes me a female? Who TAF knows. *shrugs* I don’t give a monkeys uncle what ANYONE looks like and I don’t understand some people’s need to change outer to match inner. Because the inner is who, not what, makes you, you. I think it is essential to recognise sex (for physical health) and gender (for mental health) as an entirety. I also think generalised conversations and speculations should be encouraged for freedom and learning purposes. True equity would be to respect and acknowledge everyone EITHER down to genetic levels. (Who has the resources to know 8 billion lots of genetic code, anyone?) OR to say we are (mostly) all sentient beings with a conscience and to stop effing people over because they think or act not “your” way? I am so sick of being scared to be “me” out of fear of UNINTENTIONALLY treading on toes. In trying to gain freedom, freedom is being seriously curbed in other ways and it stinks.
Three_mental_illnesses 2 years ago
as a trans man, I agree, but changing the outside keeps me from wanting to rip off my skin, to put it bluntly. (respectfully though :)
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#14
honeyk 2 years ago
i do it! i do it more often than not & go back to sleep bc i don't want to deal with it and have nobody to do the helping part.
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Yvette Desmarais 2 years ago
It's not the waking up I have an issue with. It's the requirement of getting out of bed and doing things.
Red PANda (she/they) 2 years ago
When I was 2, I cried every time I woke up, which basically means the same thing.
LazyKitten 2 years ago
Petition for there to be three days of weekend and four days of work? Type aye if you agree <3
#15
Nosirrow 2 years ago
Mothers are potentially the worst enemy. They have absolute control over a child, can teach them negative things and when the child complains, he's called ungrateful. Everyone defends mothers, no matter how abusive or neglectful they are bc they raised the child.
Sarel Seerower 2 years ago
As a relatively new mom, this is sad and scary. No one is perfect. No mom either. Hope I'm not the star of my kids' therapy show.
Doodles1983 2 years ago
I think the best pieces of advice are: Listen to your child, Let them make mistakes, Be there if they fall. Let them know you love them.
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Edward Dwyer 2 years ago
Accidentally? Ever hear of a door? A lock? Has she heard of knocking? WTF?
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
I don’t think a generic comment that basically says “some of my trauma and problems were caused by my parent” is exactly a sign of “more problems to solve”. Literally like 99% of us on Bored Panda have issues that were caused by one or both of our parents. And we share that fact with each other. It’s too generalized to shove it into the spotlight as “girrrrl you got BIGGER problems than what your mom did to you as a child… you tell THINGS to PEOPLE on the INTERNET!!!! Omg!!”
Load More Replies... #16
LuckyL 2 years ago
I have NO, absolutly NO problem with taking an apple really quickly and slice it up. For my three year old. Do I do it for myself?....... Take a guess.
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A Wild Bean 2 years ago
Heck yeah! Peanut butter (or cookie butter!) on apples is amazing
Load More Replies... Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
I do this too! I like it so I can check for maggots as well, not that I’ve ever found one, but it’s so much easier to eat like that.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
Oh god, ONCE I found a worm in a segment of a Cuties tangerine. I peel them into segments and hold each segment up to a light before I eat them now XD
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Trophy Husband 2 years ago
Sometimes I chop one up and add it to a salad. There was a time that I would have laughed at that, but I was a fool then!
Id row 2 years ago
I prefer it soaked in butter, cinnamon and sugar and baked inside two flakey crusts.
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
I wanted to add here that it's pretty simple and easy to just make the pie filling! Takes like 20 minutes, after that time it's totally worth it if you're craving it. I've done it before and I will do it again
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Stymied Egan 2 years ago
I like juicy apples. I do not like apple juices flowing down my face. I cut up my apples, like an adult.
#17
Jihana 2 years ago
Wait, you guys in the US get paid? All I got was money for public transport. But I loved doing it, it was a super interesting case.
Magpie 2 years ago
Australian here, the work place gets subsidized then they have to pay you your normal pay. *might* get travel allowance, *might* get food allowance if needed.
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Ilana Pogodin 2 years ago
Jury duty is really so stupid to me. Like there are judges who studied for years for this profession, but no, lets take 12 rendos and let them decide. Where I'm from for serious cases there just are several judges (always an odd number).
Janos Schumacher 2 years ago
"A jury of your peers" Not, "A jury of rich, old, white guys who haven't studied law since the Nixon administration and live so far out of normal society that they may as well be alien overlords."
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Stephenie Zoé Vee 2 years ago
So ppo without any degree in law are chosen to judge in a court? THAT would NEVER happen in switzerland, where i live. What a wild idea! ANd whats next? A President that was once a star in reality TV? Wait.. Doh!
Zoey Rayne 2 years ago
It's so stupid that we draft random citizens for this. People should be tried by a panel of experts who are knowledgeable in fields relevant to the case. "But the experts would have to be paid more; that's too expensive!" Use the excess of money we spend on the US's ridiculously high incarceration rate to pay qualified jurors to have more fair trials, and stop jailing so many poor people for committing minor offenses while being poor.
LizzieR1985 2 years ago
I got paid for 3 days JD.. with paid lunches.. I sat on my butt in a waiting room reading and playing games.
Momica98 1 year ago
The first time I got called, my son was only two months old. On the paperwork I had to return, I wrote that I'd need to be able to pump since I was breastfeeding. Got no response, so I called a few days before I was supposed to report to ask if they'd be able to accommodate me. "Of course you're excused! Didn't anyone call you?" Uh no that's why I'm calling. Second summons: I wrote on the form that I might not make a good juror, as I had worked in local news for about 15 years at that point and knew all of the judges and many local attorneys and law enforcement. (Plus my husband's boss works for the public defender's office). Still had to report. As I'm listening to the questioning of potential jurors for a rape trial, I realized that I had written an article about the defendant; that included going through very detailed court documents that the average person doesn't see. They seated the jury before questioning me, but that's exactly the situation where I would have been excused.
Momica98 1 year ago
Waste of my time with no lunch or pay. Now we're waiting to hear if my aunt with intellectual disabilities will be excused from jury duty. She has the mind of an adolescent.
Load More Replies... #18
Sandy D 2 years ago
I care far more about what dogs think of me than what people think, so this one I can really relate to
Laugh or not 2 years ago
I kind of like that he is anxious about meeting the dog, dogs are important part of the family.
MrsFettesVette 2 years ago
My husband knew it was important to make a good impression on my dog. He ended up being a wonderful dad to her, and to the dog we live with now
#19
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I can't believe no one showed her how to hike before dragging her along.
#20
Anxiety Artist 2 years ago
So he has to plan the dates? Like are you guys incapable of sharing the burden?
Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
Even male family members do this! I am going to ask my brother to plan Christmas dinner this year, or Mother’s Day, then text him the inane questions he texts me beforehand!
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
In fairness, the entire fun of fantasy football is deciding who wins by using a ton of stats. No-one really wants dates to go like that, do they?
#21
Sapna Sarfare 2 years ago
No kids here... Single... I can differentiate between genuine kids issue and utter nonsense parenting.. I sympathise with the former parents... We were all there as kids... What i do not understand is bad behaviour and the reason we need to adjust. Seen parents bring kids to movies which are meant for adults to understand... Why? of course, the kid is going to cry.. or throw tantrums.. babysitting can be an issue... But we are not part of your deal
Bobby 2 years ago (edited)
The fact is, unless you are observing actual abuse, you can (almost) never tell the difference between "genuine kid issue" and "nonsense parenting", with strangers at least. They will act out in ways you never expected, when you least expect it, in the most embarrassing to you way possible. Parents aren't perfect and make mistakes, and a lot of those mistakes are when we are frustrated because are kids are being irritating for what ever reason(and usual not their fault either)
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Me 2 years ago
I apologized to friends with kids after getting children... I understand so much better now
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Omg I was so judgmental as a non-parent. And I was mostly completely wrong. I have a very headstrong chick now and you gotta choose your battles
Load More Replies... KWilly 2 years ago
I only have one, so maybe it was easier for me. But you know what teaches kids not to be a-holes in public? Follow through with your threats of "if you don't straighten up and act right, we will leave RIGHT NOW." I did this maybe 3 times with my daughter and we left if she didn't get it together. After that, she knew I was serious and started to behave. Again, maybe I just got lucky cause she's a pretty awesome kid but if you give in to them and let them run all over you, they will continue to do it forever and then you are one of those parents that no one likes!
David 2 years ago
AFTER you have kids you think, "Thank God that isn't me!" My friend and I complimented a family in a Greek restaurant a few weeks ago because they were seated next to us and the kids were amazingly well behaved. And it seemed happy -not like a "behave or I'll beat you" kind of vibe.
Stymied Egan 2 years ago
I am a parent of adults now. When they were little if they acted up, we took them out of the building (restaurant, store, theater etc.) I was lucky to have a husband that felt the way I did and if we were together, one of us would take the unruly one out. In most cases when they were acting up they were either tired or ill, in which case it was our fault for having them out in the first place. If I was alone, it was more of an ordeal but, we would leave. We also took drawing supplies (simple paper and pencil) or a some small no-sound toy every time we went out.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
If it weren't for judging parents, I wouldn't have gotten my tubes tied before I became one of them.
#22
Someone_from_the_Netherlands 2 years ago
There are a lot of coffeeshops in Amsterdam and none of them sell coffee ;)
nancy 2 years ago
I'll never forget the first time I went out in public in London, England (many years ago) with my 6 year old. We bought drinks from Starbucks, then she needs to use the washroom. They don't have public washrooms at Starbucks... they suggested we take a quick ten minute walk to the subway station to find a public washroom. Um, Ya... and had to buy her some new underwear on the way. When kids have to go, they have to go.
Francesco Cimmaruta 2 years ago
It is illegal in most countries in Europe, the civilised world
#23
Immortal Jellyfish 2 years ago
Maybe if you stop mixing your alcohol in your Fanta they would. /j
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
uhh.. I know this is a set up joke but I shall not say it so I can avoid the downvotes
Load More Replies... #24
Catastrophisticate 2 years ago
Right?! Every GD month, and yet we still don't click about what's going on until after the fact
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Magpie 2 years ago
Friend had a deal with herself: No suicide until after bleeding. Every damn month she had to deal with that. -- i just had physical stuff....like fainting and cramps.
Hello_my_name_is_Genevieve 2 years ago
Oh. My. God. I'm 46 and I still get tricked by this. Like Ooooh no one was out to get me, I was just irritable.
Catastrophisticate 2 years ago
Same! And then menopause... yay? Why can't it just be like "Yo, girl, you been doin' this for about 35 years now... good job, you're done, byeeeee"
Load More Replies... Ilia Bauer 2 years ago
I also started crying two hours ago and I STILL can't stop. I also want to scream, laugh, and throw vehicles at people like the Hulk, but for some reason, Chocolate is the only thing that will save the world. Then comes Satan's Sacrifical Waterfall and an uptick in laundry due to leakage.
Nikole 2 years ago
Aye, I’m about to start mine. I think I enjoy the trips to the toilet and, yeah, getting super emotional the best. Omg how did I forget cramps?!
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Arunika R. 2 years ago (edited)
Wait, periods can cause breakdowns? Older and experienced people please explain, was my random crying fit because of it?
Crazy Cookie 2 years ago
I’m not an expert, but I am a woman. Hormones can cause you to be more emotional around the time if your period. However, it probably didn’t create those feelings, just exaggerate them . Hope this helps :)
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An Argonaut 2 years ago
Yesterday I was having a bad day and said: if I get my period now I’ll have all my problems at once, that evening guess who showed up!
MrsFettesVette 2 years ago
My medication management therapist: "have you been more irritable or anxious, never, sometimes, most of the time, or most days?" Me: "maybe, but it could also be pms"
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
i see it coming now. I know when i have anxiety attacks two days in a row, its PMS -_-
LadyManx 2 years ago
Mine had a magic trick. Whenever I had to be alert, it would go off to frolic in the fire swamp of the Princess Bride. It's unerring accuracy was frightening. Thanks to First Day, the library tours for entering students for both college AND grad school were like being in the staircases at Hogwarts. It took me weeks after that to again find those darn "magical entrances" to the stacks.
#25
Old Roadie 2 years ago
Don't let their desires take precedence over your needs. Problem solved. Now all you have to do is replace that Windows95 era keyboard and life's good.
#26
E Menendez 2 years ago
Ugh, I will have full on conversations with my husband about what the plan is for tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, he will ask me what we are doing like we never spoke about it. I even do the "look at me when we are talking" thing if I want to make sure he is paying attention, but even that is hit or miss.
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
if i notice he isnt listening i always say "by the way im pregnant" :-D it basically means "listen to me dude" (before the downvotes come because you dont make jokes about that: he usually replies with "from who" because it cant be his)
Must Be Bored Again 2 years ago
I love to switch to completely weird random subjects such as purple martians, dinosaurs, etc. right in the middle of talking when I know he is no longer listening. Then after a few completely off subjects sentences, ask him his thoughts on it or ask if what I just said was correct or not. Then ask him to repeat ANYTHING I had just finished telling him. Busted!
Seamus Crumley 2 years ago
Nothing worse a husband can hear than, "I told you at least 10 times this week." My wife does this, and I'm convinced she didn't, but then I sit for a while and question myself, ending up thinking, "Maybe she did tell me" But normally forget again straight away. I'm a man, but I must admit ' We are pretty useless'
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I know why I'm divorced, and this is one reason. I'd tell my spouse something important, something that required his attention verbally. Then I'd send an email with bullet points. No more "I didn't hear you" excuses.
Susan Widomski 2 years ago
I have a solution: Text it to them so it is in writing. Learned this from an a#####e who told me I was a liar. Kept the text, showed him the text, moved out of town. He was silent after that.
#27
E Menendez 2 years ago
If state law allows (some u.S. states do have regulations around burials) most mortuaries will bury you in a cardboard box. And for cremation that is always an option. If you are worried about a service, you can rent a coffin. Much cheaper. It's wild what you start looking into when you turn 40.
Muff_Fluff 2 years ago
Rent a coffin? So like, after they bury me, then dig me back up and take my box, then toss me back in the hole?
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Brenda 2 years ago (edited)
They make coffins that are only $200 or so. But they don't tell you about them. And people think the fancier it is, the better people will think of you and the deceased. Me? Take my usable parts and burn the rest. No fancy stuff. I want a traditional Irish Wake where people eat, drink and tell stories about me. Make it a happy experience for everyone, not sad
Sans Serif 2 years ago
I like how you think, Brenda! Getting to be that time in my life where those are necessary things to consider - wish I was Irish! 8-(
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Benita Valdez 2 years ago
If noone claims your corpse then they'll dispose of you for free. I told my family to save the money and just pretend they never knew me; they weren't fond of the idea
Krzystofersson 2 years ago
WTH ? I'm picturing a birth Korean style end where your body becomes dog food?
Load More Replies... BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
it's not like you'll be able to feel it lmao
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Tiny Dancer 2 years ago
Yup. Just found out the hard way it costs about 2000 bucks to cremate someone (here in Toronto, up in Canada) when I lost my guy last month. And that's on the cheap end. One place wanted $4500 and that was before the $200 urn, fer Pete's sake. Criminals.
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
seriously. Profiting that much off of death shouldn't be allowed
Load More Replies... #28
Nicola Roberts 2 years ago
It think it's the equivalent of IT telling you to switch off and on again. Professionals know if you do this you will be better. We just want another answer.
Moosy Girl 2 years ago
I sometimes feel like my job is 85% figuring out new excuses to make users actually reboot their system when you ask.
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Louisa Spoke 2 years ago
My Dr told me I had athletes foot and to use the medication she had given me. I said it didn’t work. She called me a hypochondriac. I challenged her to send me off for an allergy test. She did and was very angry with me when I came back to her and showed her I was allergic to nickel, chromium and cobalt. My leather shoes had been burning me. I had blisters all over my feet. I didn’t see her again and changed doctors.
#29
Francesco Cimmaruta 2 years ago
Car engines run on GASOLINE which is a liquid, not a GAS. I swear US English is dumb
#30
Sponge Blob 2 years ago
If only there were cheaper alternatives that would leave about $2000-3000 difference on her account. But hey, brand!
Squidward 2 years ago
These items may be furnished by her job, they may have been purchased when times were better? If she did not have the laptop, do you think the $2000 would have just ‘sat’ there?
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#31
Mary Tierney 2 years ago
Me too. Hey if it's legit, they'll leave a message (they never do)
Load More Replies... White Sauce Hot Sauce 2 years ago (edited)
If it's important, they'll leave a voicemail. If it's someone I actually want to talk to, they'd send a text, instead.
honeyk 2 years ago
i don't even set up voice mail on my phone... if you know me or i'm expecting you to call, then you should know to text.
Load More Replies... Zoey Rayne 2 years ago
I once answered the an unknown number in May and was told it was the IRS and that I owed a bunch of money on taxes and would go to jail if I didn't pay. Immediately suspicious, I Googled the number and proceeded to tell the caller that they were listed as well known scammers; they hung up. Always Google the number (and tell your older relatives to do the same).
Sans Serif 2 years ago
"Older relative here" and just had my number unexpectedly added to a scammer list. Let the fight begin!!
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frederick clause 2 years ago
If I don't recognize the number I always answer in Vietnamese. If it's someone I don't want to talk to I ask if they speak German in Vietnamese. That usually ends the call. FYI, I'm not Vietnamese but I know enough to do this.
Seamus Crumley 2 years ago
E.T. with a wig, trying to phone home, searching for the area code on the computer.
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
I definitely don't. Too much anxiety for me
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Chewie Baron 2 years ago (edited)
Hey it’s Gail (insert whatever surname she is this week) from Corrie!
What Do I Do With This Kitty Litter Now 2 years ago
Today I missed my package delivery cus I got scared when the delivery driver called to let me know he's arrived and I didn't recognize the number so I never answered :/
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Depends on the area code. If it's from a local code, but I don't recognize the number, I Google it, then decide whether or not I'll be calling back.
#32
Tim Gearing 2 years ago
Yes, if they get divorced they’ll be un-hinged. …. Sorry.
Load More Replies... SuperChicken 2 years ago
Ours on weekend mornings: "coffee?" "coffee." "now?" "now." Then we don't talk until after our first cup, because that's when our brain starts to function. 🤣
#33
Trophy Husband 2 years ago (edited)
Sometimes saying things out loud is enough. Or writing them down. I recommend people rant to themselves if they need to, rather then bottling it up
Jude Laskowski 2 years ago
This happens to me in stores all the time. I'll ask someone if I can move their grocery cart, and we're still standing in the aisle talking for the next 30 minutes.
#34
SuperChicken 2 years ago
When you think you're ahead of the game, then life kicks you on your butt.🤦♀️
Susan Widomski 2 years ago
And someone worse off than you asks if you have any extra cash and you can't refuse.
RandomPersonOnline 2 years ago
Adulthood is like looking both ways before crossing the street, and the getting hit by an airplane - Dr Taylor Alison Swift
Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
"Yay we've caught up on bills!" And then a crackhead doing 80 on a one-way nods out and totals your Jeep while it's parked in front of your house.
jdtimid123 2 years ago
We had plenty in savings in December to cover having our deck rebuilt this summer (thanks to my amazing husband working all available over time). Then proceeded to have back to back major emergencies that almost completely wiped the whole account over the last 6 months. But at least we didn't have all those emergencies and no savings to pay for them with. So could have been worse.
#35
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
Or because you have no children, you can pay them to life with you and help take care of you!! Just make sure your siblings have more than one child!! Gotta share those kids!!
Marek Čtrnáct 2 years ago
I try to always have something interesting for them. Right now, my 5yo nephew tries to learn to play the original Sonic the Hedgehog game and wants me to read him my collectionnof Calvin and Hobbes comics :)
Load More Replies... Cerise Hood 2 years ago
Reminds me of the lady who snuck a dog into the hospital where her grandmother was staying
Jude Laskowski 2 years ago
My friend was a late baby; his siblings were 15 years older than he was. When mom was in an assisted living facility, he was the one who smuggled in the wine and ice cream. He also took her out for lunch every Sunday, and did the grocery run after eating. Some idiot doctor tells an 88 year old lady she can't have a glass of wine, as it's not good for her. Sheesh!
#36
Tim Nicebutdim 2 years ago (edited)
I try to get the boys together every 6 months, all of us go out, drink and vent about our life, good mental health and all that. Honestly though, trying to organise 8 guys is worse than herding cats.
Antonia 1 year ago
I have a few friends, we haven’t really met since the pandemic, and scheduling a meeting just out for a small lunch is IMPOSSIBLE.
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Upstaged75 2 years ago
Someone has been going through my text messages!! Stop spying on me. :)
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
Easiest way to make friends at a bar is to bring plastic straws and hand them out
Seamus Crumley 2 years ago
Just don't make new friends and be content with the ones you have. They are too tired to make the effort as well.
Michael Largey 2 years ago (edited)
With many people my dominant thought is "You should hang" instead of "We should hang". So pronouns are just as important as people are saying they are
#37
Bron 2 years ago
My boy picks up his two pieces of kibble, runs into another room to eat it. Comes back again to pick up 2 more, into the other room, over and over. Add the little click clacking of his nails on the floor, so funny
Rick 2 years ago
My dog always goes to the exact same spot to eat her biscuit. It is the only time she ever goes there. Her predetermined biscuit eating spot.
willitbe 2 years ago
Nooo that’s so cute she picked a place with good food mood
Load More Replies... Seamus Crumley 2 years ago
Thank God I'm hearing this from other dog owners. My dog takes a mouthful of food, takes it to his bed to eat, and repeats unitl bowl is empty. I was searching google for dog therapists
Immortal Jellyfish 2 years ago
My dog is not that polite. He's more like "Gimme it!" Then just points his a$$ at me as he prances off into the other room without so much as a hint of gratitude.
Rebelliousslug 2 years ago
Mine prefer theirs on the patio, and they wait patiently by the door. I know it’s really because their bratty little sister literally half their size will tear their a$$es up to steal it if she gets a chance. So we just pretend to enjoy the sun.
Bron 2 years ago
He is such a lover boy! You can rub his back very lightly and he’s in heaven. Add some pressure and he nearly dies from the pleasure (he’s very sensitive, typical chihuahua that way). But even when hungry or needing his water bowl filled and he prances and jumps around like he’s getting a treat. Also the gentleman he waits until the girl gets her food and won’t eat until then. He knows he’s not the top dog.
Load More Replies... Kim Lorton 2 years ago
Or...or... they look at you snd you just k ow they are saying to you... where are the good treats!! Huh!!!!??? Don't save them!!! You live longer than me so fork it over!! NOW!! Thank you! Now was that so hard??!?!
#38
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago (edited)
Last night I dreamed that I drew a picture of a man with a unibrow and went around telling people, "Look, it's DoriBROW Gray!" I have never read "The Picture of Dorian Gray" nor seen the movie. In the same dream, I drew Will Smith's head on a cockroach body, and his feet were huge noses. What is my brain doing?! (I woke up and drew the second one IRL XD )
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
I normally draw (slightly) better than this, but this is the gist of the second drawing that I dreamed, translated into real life XD IMG-9527-6...0dd09c.jpg 
The Other Other White Meat 2 years ago
Ugh, last night I dreamt that I had to poop, but the only option was to do it in a toilet that was hovering over a public pool 😪 So I pooped while some strange man was watching.
Zoey Rayne 2 years ago
As a teen, I dreamed about being lost at school. This week, in my thirties, I dreamed I was lost in the grocery store, but also late for school.....
Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
I know other people’s dreams are boring, BUT this week I had a dream I was Pedro Pascal’s girlfriend and I’ve never been more disappointed in my life to wake up. The disappointment lasted all day and now I’m binge watching the Mandalorian having never had any interest in Star Wars before. It didn’t help that I showed my friend a photo of him, (she didn’t know who he was) and said we would look good together 😭💔
Sandy D 2 years ago
Take the teeth. The only way I'd go back to hs is knowing everything I know now, and having my old crone attitude of not caring what anyone thinks of me
Sandy D 2 years ago
I forgot the other stipulation for going back to hs- minimum of 1 million dollars, half up front
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Upstaged75 2 years ago
For me it's college. And I can never find my classes or remember what they are.
Elissa (littlebitofe) 2 years ago
I have so many dreams where I can't find my classroom. And I always have a test I didn't study for. Or realize I have forgotten to go to class for half the semester. I haven't been in school (college) since 1992, so wtf? 🤣🤣
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mountkilamontanjiro 2 years ago
Last night I dreamed I was Michael Mell and I lived in an alphabetically ordered forest
Skater Chick 2 years ago
...alpha...forest...michael mell...WHAT? Please tell me more about this alphabetically ordered forest.
Load More Replies... #39
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
I'm a lifelong nailbiter and I got acrylic nails put on a few months ago. It was AMAZING being able to scratch itches XD but I forgot I didn't have stubby nubbins and literally scratched welts onto myself a few times. My cats and puppy liked the new "automatic" itch scratchers on my fingers as well XD
SeaJaySea 1 year ago
for the first time in my life, my nails grew longer than my fingers and MY GOD it is SOO nice
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Marley Nachi 2 years ago
I'm always concerned how people wipe their bums with fakenails without getting poo in them :|
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
I have long natural nails, so toilet paper. It's only the scarily long ones that I worry about. I saw a lady with AT LEAST two inch long acrylic nails
Load More Replies... Krzystofersson 2 years ago (edited)
Watch my daughters texting like Edward Scissorhands scritching and scratching the screen in vain, with their acrylic claws
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I just cut my lethal claws. You think this is hyperbole, but there are people out there that will verify this claim.
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
It's not so much as wiping after you have been to the loo but more of a scraping
#40
willitbe 2 years ago
“Geriatric pregnancy” is the most judgy phrase created by medical science
Connie Martin 2 years ago
"Advanced maternal age" is a more common phrase used now
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pamela nichols 2 years ago
Gotpregnant at 32. Had every test known to gyno. Was told your not pregnant you have cyst on your ovary . Went for surgery and was waken up during to tell me I was pregnant what did I want to do. Is the. Baby ok , yes he's fine, did you remove the cyst, yes. Well ok then. My cyst is 35yo 6 foot 5 and big as a house.
#41
Cheryl Ramsay 2 years ago
I got gas the other day. I drive a RAV4. My bill was $17. The guy ahead of me was pumping when I got there and still pumping when I went in to get a paper. He had left by then and when I looked at his pump, his bill was $98.00! He had a large Chevy SUV but he also may have filled tanks in the back I did not see. But $98!!!!!
Headless Roach 2 years ago
You can always say, that using the gas station toilet made you lose your apetite 🙃
#42
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago (edited)
I’m 41 :( and I recently found a photo of my biological mom when she was 44. I look like I’m maybe 30. She looks like she’s a hard-used 70. Don’t do drugs and smoke and drink, kids! XD
Temporary Dork 2 years ago
I'm 50 and I'll tell y'all if you do sunscreen and skin care you're good.
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MrsFettesVette 2 years ago
Me, a 46 year old with a ponytail, leggings, Crocs, and a North of the Border sweatshirt on...no
Id row 2 years ago
It's not that far off...Steve Martin was 50 in '95 and Diane Keaton was 49.
pineapple87 2 years ago
And yet, Diane Keaton looks almost younger now than she did here
Load More Replies... The Original Bruno 2 years ago
In fairness, isn;t this from Parenthood, a story originally set in the 1950s, and about parents with 11 kids?
#43
Bill Swallow 2 years ago
Poor little chinchilla. Maybe someone took its TV away. (We had two. They were addicted to Peppa Pig and World Series of Poker.)
Michael Largey 2 years ago
I envy those people whose break downs are short enough that they can fit more than one in a day.
#44
David Martin 2 years ago
Not even going to lie, the level of smarta** that I am...I would be that husband
Rahul Pawa 2 years ago
That's funny, I was thinking, "the level of dumbass that I am....I would be that husband"
Load More Replies... fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
I think he interpreted <3 as "less than 3," so he only cooked 2.
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BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
it can be used as a heart, but context is important lol. If you're in a math class, it's probably "less than three" but if you're online it's more likely to be a heart
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BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
nah I still use the <3 on here because I like it
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#45
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
you dont have to be drunk :-D i frequently meet people at concerts, befriend them on FB and never meet again but become fun FB friends.
Susan Bosse 2 years ago
Just said this before I saw your post. I have so many friends from concerts!!!
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Susan Bosse 2 years ago
Sober people do that, too. I've made a ton of friends at concerts. We support each other from afar. I've only met one girl twice.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
The closest I can get to this is being a pen pal. The evolving relationship exists on paper only.
#46
Seamus Crumley 2 years ago
Or stick a straw in your eye and pretend you need to go to the hospital
Superb Owl 2 years ago
My social battery lasts for two hours, less if there are kids present, so I plan around that.
#47
P.A. Yearsley 2 years ago
Must of been broke :p no really I know that there are people out there who, just sleep. I guess, I've never experienced it myself. But the legends do tell of it.
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
I've found it's easy for me to not have my phone in my room at all, and just play music I like. It's a triple whammy, because it keeps me distracted enough to not have anxious night thoughts, I get to jam, and it automatically turns off after an hour. Obviously this wouldn't work for a lot of people, but I take meds that make me tired, but not sleep medication
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#48
David Martin 2 years ago
I dated a girl during high school once who insisted on paying for dinner, since she asked me to go there...which was fine, we were totally cool and on the same page, until I put some money down to leave a tip. Girl lost...her...damn...MIND! She made a scene, loudly reamed me out for trying to spend my money, and I got all the stares on our way out. And then we went to a movie following that, for bonus awkward! She had driven, so there was no backing out until the end of the date
SuperChicken 2 years ago
She reamed you out for being a gentleman for leaving a tip, since she paid for dinner? Just be happy that you're no longer with her.
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Kim Lorton 2 years ago
Dump her assp and drive that food over to her and then ask for gas money to deliver her food to her!!
vvv 2 years ago
Sounds like a Dutch guy this woman ... A friend had a date with a Ducth guy, he paid (which is already exceptional) but as she declined a second rendez-vous, he sent her a tikkie (cash-app) for the drinks he had paid.... Otherwise, on first dates with Dutch its 50/50
Amina Schroder 2 years ago
Its not standerd to pay 50/50 here on a first date. But the tikkie is always a possibility.
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Amy Burke 2 years ago
Similar I agreed to go on a date with someone I knew from the past. Anyway, no chemistry but he ended up at mine and wanted to put Harry Potter on. I'm not really into Harry Potter so it was playing in the background. A few days later, he's threatening to get me beaten up for stealing his DVD! Haha
#49
HarperTheCentaur (they/them) 2 years ago
They look like a renaissance painting!
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Karmageddon 2 years ago
I bet that's over oaked malolactic American chardonnay, and they think it's good.
Seamus Crumley 2 years ago
Someone who has had lots of wine and has blue lips is someone you do not take life advice from.
#50
#51
Brenda 2 years ago
I never made a promise to God that I wouldn't drink again. They'd know I was lying! Always drape a towel over the edge of the bowl! If you're out, brace your hands on the walls of the stall or on your knees. Toilet paper just doesn't work, too thin. Yeah, I partied a bit in my 20's (now 57).
Seamus Crumley 2 years ago
This is called, 'Speaking to Jesus through the big white telephone' "oohhh Jeeessssuusss, make it stop please. By the way, while your'e there. I haven't eaten carrots in months"
#52
Brittania Kelli 2 years ago
My mom invited some second cousin twice removed kind of relative who happened to be the VP of Procter and Gamble to my wedding. My mom now owns a very nice set of Belgian Lace tableware that I had no use for.
#53
Sponge Blob 2 years ago
Yeah, let's sit in the house for the rest of our lives, because the world is so dangerous.
Brittania Kelli 2 years ago
Parents worry, it's a prerequisite for the job.
Load More Replies... Seamus Crumley 2 years ago
What's the big deal? I went sking in the Alps and travelled through France, Spain and Portugal at 18 with a couple of friends. Americans - you watch too much TV. Go and enjoy the world when you are young.
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
you serious? doesn't sound serious
Load More Replies... Kim Lorton 2 years ago
Ha ha ha ha !!! Watch it and then ask if he will track you down like Liam Neeson!
#55
Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
Why have people who have met on Hinge and are now living together still saved as “Hinge”?
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
Make it a statement! Also, my husband will forget about his so I ask if I can have some so he will remember its there , but i pit mine in and let him know, if its ok to eat or not!
#56
Courtney Christelle 2 years ago
I was born in 1989 and I am not comfortable with your statement.
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Delta Dawn 2 years ago
Wow they had 27 Facebook friends in 2007? Took me until 2008 to even join!
#57
SuperChicken 2 years ago
It's when someone, accidentally, sits on their phone - and the phone starts calling a random person from their contact list/history (or recent) calls/etc.
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