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Wife’s Ridiculously-Detailed Shopping List For Husband Goes Viral, Starts A Discussion On Male Incompetence
Recently, husband & wife TikTok account Adam x Melinda uploaded a few videos that have sparked a heated debate on the internet.
The clips show Melinda writing out a grocery list that not only named the items she wanted her husband to pick up at the store, but included the prices and a picture of what each item looks like so that Adam wouldn’t get confused. She also hand-drew a map of the store itself, marking the products’ exact locations.
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The original video has racked up over 21.2 million views and 2.4 million likes
@adamxmelindaWho found us from this video? 🤣 #marriedlife#couplecomedy#couples#marriedlifehumor#husbandandwife#couple#tutorials#foryou♬ Oh No – Kreepa
Image credits: adamxmelinda
These videos perfectly illustrate what many of us already intuitively know. While more than half of married couples in the United States claim that sharing household chores is “very important” for a successful marriage, when it comes to grocery shopping and cooking, women say they’re the ones usually doing the work.
For instance, in U.S. households consisting of married or cohabiting parents and one or more children under the age of 18, 80% of mothers say they are the ones who usually prepare the meals – the same as the share who say they are the primary grocery shopper, according to a Pew Research Center analysis. Some 71% of moms say they primarily handle both chores.
A few days later, Adam x Melinda released a follow-up
Image credits: adamxmelinda
Around two-in-ten fathers in the same type of household say they are the person who usually prepares the meals (19%) or grocery shops (20%). About one-in-ten (11%) say they normally do both tasks.
However, dads are about twice as likely as moms to say these chores are split equally: 20% of dads say they cook as much as their partner, compared with 10% of moms. The pattern for grocery shopping is very similar: 23% vs. 11%.
Even though Melinda reassured people that the whole thing was a joke
Image credits: adamxmelinda
It’s worth mentioning that over the last 50 years, American women (particularly mothers) have increased the amount of time they spend in paid work, and men (especially fathers) have taken on more obligations at home.
Still, on average, U.S. women spend fewer hours in paid work than men, which might partially explain the gender imbalance in time spent on food prep and grocery shopping.
It has resulted in a discussion on “performative incompetence”
@notwildlin#stitch with @adamxmelinda this is kind of a ramble but hold it♬ original sound – NotWildlin
With the most notable contribution coming from user NotWildlin
Image credits: notwildlin
Here’s what other people said
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Hufflepuff 3 years ago
Needing to list the aisle numbers and stuff is a bit excessive, however, for certain things, I will send pictures of what I want to whoever is doing the shopping because many things come in different brands, sizes, types, etc. It can be confusing and it's hard to memorize everyone's personal preferences, especially if it's not a weekly purchase.
Beans 3 years ago
That's a good point, especially if its something they're not used to buying
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Unwelcomed Guest 3 years ago
Why all the hate on men? Women do this too! My sisters used to purposely burn food so they would never be asked to cook again. In my marriage I do most of the cooking and if I sent my wife out to shop I would guarantee she would come back with none of the ingredients I put on the list because she couldn’t find them however if I was to do this I would be controlling and demeaning her. No one gives a s**t that I have to go back out to the shops to buy all the thing that were on the list in the first place.
13 3 years ago
So it's shitty and manipulative people in general. That's fine.
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Cynthia Bonville 3 years ago
So what I understood 30 years ago was this is not called performative incompetence but CREATIVE INCOMPETENCE and I have had co-workers, all men, who do this to avoid work they don't want at a paying job. I understand they used it elsewhere as well. None of those who employed this technique were invested in the work, everyone was proud of the avoidance of work even though it still had to be done and it was important work. It is usually men because boys incidentally figure this out as they are assigned chores and tired parents realize gosh, it is so much easier to do this myself - he does everything else he's supposed to. Girls are not usually allowed to do this, or they simply hide it and don't brag (same way women typically get away with crimes because they don't talk).
Katchen 3 years ago
Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Rodrick Rules. Rule Number 1: Don't be good at something that you don't want to do.
Load More Replies... Hufflepuff 3 years ago
Needing to list the aisle numbers and stuff is a bit excessive, however, for certain things, I will send pictures of what I want to whoever is doing the shopping because many things come in different brands, sizes, types, etc. It can be confusing and it's hard to memorize everyone's personal preferences, especially if it's not a weekly purchase.
Beans 3 years ago
That's a good point, especially if its something they're not used to buying
Load More Replies... Unwelcomed Guest 3 years ago
Why all the hate on men? Women do this too! My sisters used to purposely burn food so they would never be asked to cook again. In my marriage I do most of the cooking and if I sent my wife out to shop I would guarantee she would come back with none of the ingredients I put on the list because she couldn’t find them however if I was to do this I would be controlling and demeaning her. No one gives a s**t that I have to go back out to the shops to buy all the thing that were on the list in the first place.
13 3 years ago
So it's shitty and manipulative people in general. That's fine.
Load More Replies... Cynthia Bonville 3 years ago
So what I understood 30 years ago was this is not called performative incompetence but CREATIVE INCOMPETENCE and I have had co-workers, all men, who do this to avoid work they don't want at a paying job. I understand they used it elsewhere as well. None of those who employed this technique were invested in the work, everyone was proud of the avoidance of work even though it still had to be done and it was important work. It is usually men because boys incidentally figure this out as they are assigned chores and tired parents realize gosh, it is so much easier to do this myself - he does everything else he's supposed to. Girls are not usually allowed to do this, or they simply hide it and don't brag (same way women typically get away with crimes because they don't talk).
Katchen 3 years ago
Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Rodrick Rules. Rule Number 1: Don't be good at something that you don't want to do.
Load More Replies...
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