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“Making Love Will Become An Issue”: Man Explains What He Has Learned From 20 Years Of Marriage In 10 Bullet Points
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“Making Love Will Become An Issue”: Man Explains What He Has Learned From 20 Years Of Marriage In 10 Bullet Points

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As it was already mentioned in another Bored Panda article on what happens when parents have stronger emotional bonds with their kids than their spouses: relationships are hard.

But, as it is with many things in life, it’s not impossible. Work on it, and you’re golden.

Imgur user that1guy15 recently celebrated 20 years of marriage, and decided to share the ten things he learned from living together with his wife for so long with the internet—the “tips I have learned the hard way on how to build a strong and meaningful marriage.”

More Info: Imgur

Marriage is hard, sure, but working on it—together—can do wonders

Image credits: Wendy Berry

So, Imgur user that1guy15 recently went to the social image sharing platform to share that he is now a 20-year veteran in marriage—congrats, dude!—expressing his surprise how he had lasted this long in what he called a crazy fun ride.

To celebrate this, he decided to share 10 lessons that he had learned over these two decades on marriage, namely on how to build and maintain a strong and meaningful marriage.

So, this husband celebrated his 20 years of happy marriage by sharing a list of lessons he learned over the years

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Image credits: that1guy15

In this set of rules, he covered things like effective communication, conflict resolution, trust, sex, among a number of other things, providing a certain reality check along the way.

In particular, the lessons focused on things like marriage being a team effort (emphasis on effort) and not a competition between two individuals; how communication is key and nobody’s a mind reader; and how hard work, trust, and acceptance are essential in building and maintaining a healthy marriage.

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Image credits: that1guy15

It’s been a day since the list of lessons hit the internet, and it has thus far managed to garner over 66,000 views with over 5,200 upvotes and around 520 comments.

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This prompted a number of people in the Imgur community to share some of their stories and rules. Many agreed with this list, praising that they couldn’t have said it better themselves.

Image credits: that1guy15

People who have been married for anywhere between 10 and 40 years stressed how communication is key. Some also pointed out that though teamwork is important, forgetting the individual isn’t an option either—so why not turn individual goals into a team effort?

People loved the thread and some also shared their own lessons with the Imgur community

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Others offered never forcing solutions, and to not forget to give some issues time. There was also one user who reminded people that, whenever you’re in an argument, don’t forget that you will remain together in the end.

Of course, there was the obligatory “keep your mouth shut” comment, but it was in light of being angry, so as to not say anything stupid. After all, you can’t take those words back.

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What are your thoughts on this? Do you have some advice on how to properly adult in a marriage? Let us know in the comment section below!

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drn_misc avatar
Dr Nostromo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wife and I have been together 44 years and probably the most important thing that's made us so successful, and is strangely missing from the list, is to make each other laugh every day. You can still do that after 40 years, you can get through anything.

tianarandazzo avatar
Anita Pickle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shared humor is amazing. It brings you closer together, it gets through the worst, it makes the good times even better. Yes, laughter is so important. Just thoroughly enjoying each other

Load More Replies...
rusty_4 avatar
Susan Stead
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think there's a glaring omission here: take a cold, hard, dispassionate look at your future partner before even considering marriage. I know, it's not romantic, but it has to be done. If you don't agree on life-impacting topics, such as financial goals, having kids, relations with each other's families, politics, etc., you're in for a lot of anguish. Before we got married, my husband and I discussed the terms of our divorce. I told him point-blank "no beating, no cheating." We agreed that this is a non-negotiable, once-and-done marriage killer. If either of us hits the other or cheats, then that's it--no counseling, no second chance, just divorce court. Love DOES NOT conquer all. Giving someone a pass to behave badly just because you love them is deadly. Again, it's not romantic, but I truly believe the idea that love conquers all is a myth. Love is why you're in the marriage, but it doesn't make problems go away.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely! Also talk before becoming more serious about life goals like marriage and children. If you must have kids or never want to get married (or whatever) this should be discussed before things get too serious

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beezelpalomar avatar
susan-herbert345 avatar
SoozeeQ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Marriage is one of the few things where we consider someone an expert if they've only successfully done it once". https://www.boredpanda.com/shower-thoughts-on-marriage-life/

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drn_misc avatar
Dr Nostromo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wife and I have been together 44 years and probably the most important thing that's made us so successful, and is strangely missing from the list, is to make each other laugh every day. You can still do that after 40 years, you can get through anything.

tianarandazzo avatar
Anita Pickle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shared humor is amazing. It brings you closer together, it gets through the worst, it makes the good times even better. Yes, laughter is so important. Just thoroughly enjoying each other

Load More Replies...
rusty_4 avatar
Susan Stead
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think there's a glaring omission here: take a cold, hard, dispassionate look at your future partner before even considering marriage. I know, it's not romantic, but it has to be done. If you don't agree on life-impacting topics, such as financial goals, having kids, relations with each other's families, politics, etc., you're in for a lot of anguish. Before we got married, my husband and I discussed the terms of our divorce. I told him point-blank "no beating, no cheating." We agreed that this is a non-negotiable, once-and-done marriage killer. If either of us hits the other or cheats, then that's it--no counseling, no second chance, just divorce court. Love DOES NOT conquer all. Giving someone a pass to behave badly just because you love them is deadly. Again, it's not romantic, but I truly believe the idea that love conquers all is a myth. Love is why you're in the marriage, but it doesn't make problems go away.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely! Also talk before becoming more serious about life goals like marriage and children. If you must have kids or never want to get married (or whatever) this should be discussed before things get too serious

Load More Replies...
beezelpalomar avatar
susan-herbert345 avatar
SoozeeQ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Marriage is one of the few things where we consider someone an expert if they've only successfully done it once". https://www.boredpanda.com/shower-thoughts-on-marriage-life/

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