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Man Deposits Money He Won At Casino, Fiancée Trashes Entire Room Trying To Find It So She Can Pay Off Her Debts
InterviewYou probably have thought about winning a large sum of money in the lottery. That sweet thought of all the things you’d do with that cash is something than can keep you awake at night.
For this 31-year-old guy, this became a reality after “winning a large jackpot.” The thing is since he’s now engaged, his 34-year-old fiancée who “is not good with money,” in the OP’s words, expects his money will be hers.
The problem is that the author’s soon-to-be-wife has been struggling with debt since she graduated from college. “My fiancée kept begging me to use all of the money on her debt,” the author explained, but he’s concerned that will only make matters worse.
RELATED:
A man won a large jackpot in the casino, so his fiancee expects him to put all that money into paying off her debts
Image credits: shotsstudio (not the actual photo)
He refused to do so for fear that it will only make her more financially irresponsible 
Image credits: nebojsa_ki (not the actual photo)
The OP was going to use the money for bills, mortgage, and his car loan, which maddened his fiancee
Image credits: Fragrant-Leading-616
With limited financial resources, lower wages and shorter credit histories, young adults are struggling to manage high-interest debt more than any other age group, according to a new report by Urban Institute. Nearly one in five adults between the ages 18 and 24 with a credit record in the U.S. currently have debt in collections.
Recent data from the New York Fed Consumer Credit Panel and Equifax shows that Americans 18-29 years old owe a whopping $1.05 trillion in debt. While the debts are mostly student loans, they also include auto loans, credit card debt, mortgage debt and other forms of consumer credit.
Image credits: duallogic (not the actual photo)
According to Forbes, the last time this age group owed more than $1 trillion in debt was the fourth quarter of 2007, near the time of the 2008 financial crisis.
Zack Friedman, the Founder & CEO of Mentor Money, argues that proactive measures are very important for anyone considering paying off their debt. They include: refinancing student loans, consolidating credit card debt, improving your credit score and getting access to lower interest rates. Another important measure to think of is increasing your income, which will reduce your debt-income ratio.
Image credits: Netfalls (not the actual photo)
“The debts that matter most are the ones that have more than just monetary consequences,” a finance expert warns
Bored Panda reached out to James Andrews, a personal finance expert at Money.co.uk, who said that the big thing to remember is that not all debts are equal.
“The debts that matter most, though, are the ones that have more than just monetary consequences,” he said. “You can be jailed for non-payment of council tax, for example, while not keeping up with rent or a mortgage could see you evicted.”
Andrews said that any money you have spare needs to go to making sure you’re up to date with these first. “After that, put spare cash towards whatever’s charging you the most interest. This pays off in the long run – because each extra pound you pay off your expensive debts means less interest is charged overall and more cash for you.” That makes each debt you tackle after that easier and easier to clear.
“But ignoring ever-rising bills just makes things worse as interest builds, charges mount and the fallout becomes bigger and bigger,” the finance expert warns.
If you find yourself struggling to find the money to cover your debts, you need to get help straight away
If you find yourself struggling to find the money to cover your debts, Andrews’ advice is to get help. “Straight away.” If you live in the UK, there are free, independent debt charities that won’t judge you and can help you. “Stepchange and National Debtline are good places to start.”
Moreover, “if you live in England or Wales, debt advisers can even get you up to 60 days’ breathing space from interest, fees and court action related to debts to help reduce stress and give you time to sort out your payments,” Andrews said.
Many people expressed their support for the author
What do you think ?
MiriPanda 3 years ago
"my current fiance", "we are in no hurry to get married" - I think it's dawning on him that this might not be such a good idea after all :)
ThisisEngland 3 years ago
They can't afford to get married. She's lumbered with a heap of debt.
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rob 3 years ago
Normally i hate the "break up immediately" advise you see in almost every post but this time, after reading she trashed the room looking for the money i definitely hope he breaks up with this woman. Maybe she has many otger good qualities but this is insane.
Brocken Blue 3 years ago
It’s never a great idea to marry someone who you can’t trust financially. Better to figure that out early, instead of learning through a divorce and bankruptcy like myself 🤦
Load More Replies...
Weasel Wise 3 years ago
Speaking as a person who has worked professionally with situations that sound pretty similar, I would be willing to wager that she has an addiction to some sorta drug...my bet is pills.
MiriPanda 3 years ago
Or perhaps a shopaholic? He said she spends money on useless things.
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Susie Elle 3 years ago
The parents were so relieved because they know their daughter isn't ever going to pay them back.
Deborah B 3 years ago
If OP loves her, he should tell her he will use some of the money for debt counselling and therapy to break her shopping addiction. He absolutely should not marry her, combine finances with her, or pay off her debt until she has overcome her addiction and paid down her debt.
William Foels 3 years ago
Been there, done that. Not to this extreme, but I let my heart overrule my head. Run like hell brother
Lisa H 3 years ago
She trashed their room trying to steal his money with the intent of paying off her debt, but, realistically, she would most likely go on a spending spree, leaving him with little to none of HIS money. He also said outright that he doesn't trust her with money. He needs to go back and read his own words VERY carefully. And then break up with her. She CAN'T be trusted. If they get married with her spending habits then it's just a matter of time before HER debt becomes HIS debt as well, regardless how responsible he is with money. They could very possibly end up destitute because of her and while she may feel remorseful for her actions, she won't change unless a drastic intervention takes place, and even then there's 0 guarantee. She needs to lay in the bed that she made (if she can even afford it).
Will Cable 3 years ago (edited)
Take a leaf from Forrest Gump and RUN. Get her out of your life ASAP.
Mad McQueen 3 years ago
She needs therapy. And if she won't go then you need to walk away. Her debt is not yours. My husband and I have sep bank accounts. I shared one once with an ex and won't again. He was burned by his ex too. We don't care who has how much as long as our bills get paid. But she is looking for more to p**s away than fix what's wrong now. Honestly you need to run.
Janice Turner 3 years ago
NTA. Your fiance's money problems can't be solved with money. She may need help with a shopping addiction, impulse control.in fact you should encourage her to get financial counseling to help her.She's a grown woman that needs to confront her own issues. She'd isn't ready for marriage until she takes responsibility for her own issues.
Michael Largey 3 years ago
Notice that even her parents campaigned for you to pay her deficiencies. Run!
T Ri 3 years ago (edited)
The fact that she tried to steal it and told her parents about his windfall so that they could guilt him into paying off her debts, as though his finances are their business, is enough to get the ring back and tell her to kick rocks. Enough will never be enough for this woman and her family. And starting a family with this woman would be the nail in the coffin. Peace out and make sure all avenues to your money are secure before doing so.
abbie allbee 3 years ago
A relationship is built on trust, unconditional love, and respect. It doesn't sound like she has any of those qualities and her parents are just trying to do her onto you. Huge red flags. Think twice about the marriage.
Parriah 3 years ago
What if she HAD found the money and rushed off to pay off her debt before you could force her to return any? Would you want to marry her then? Her gleefully crowing debt free not giving even a teeeeeeny little s**t how that loss changed your hopeful plans and great improvement to your own life and life together as a couple. She absolutely would have immediately spent all your money and felt completely justified. Why would you marry someone who loves herself literally a billion times more than she will ever love you. Enjoy your money, fun being rich and SINGLE!
amy hipps 3 years ago
He says he is worried NOW. What the hell does he think will happen when they marry and she is entitled to half of what he owns? Hope he likes the idea of being in debt because that is where his near future wife will put him at. I mean does he not understand that if she does go back to debt when they are married that it will be hus debt as well?
Jen 3 years ago
It sounds like that is his worry and why he is putting off actually getting married. He wants her to get her act together first.
Load More Replies...
Stannous Flouride 3 years ago
My first thought upon reading the headline was, "sounds like a junkie."
LayDiva in the Zone 3 years ago
YTA if you marry someone you can't trust financially. Money is a deal breaker because I can't eat love, sleep in it, or drive it.
Mori Avila 3 years ago
She has SOMETHING more serious going on than just student loans and maxed out credit cards, especially for her to be a RN and still having to use a huge chunk of her pay to pay off these debts. To me, from seeing friends being indebted to "loan sharks", she ransacked the whole place to steal YOUR money and then had the audacity to get her parents to tell you that YOUR money is hers once you two are married, meaning none of this relationship really seemed to have any real value other than monetary, especially since you won that money. She's indebted to far worse than student loans and credit cards, friend, and your best bet is to RUN before she gets you roped into it and claims to her "loaners" that your winnings are the money they're owed, it will seriously put you in danger.
Dre Mosley 3 years ago
NTA. I've been in this situation (dating someone who lives beyond their means and spends money they don't have). It never ends with people like that. My ex had collections agencies calling her on a weekly basis and she still wouldn't stop racking up debts because she just had to have whatever shiny new toy caught her eye.
CAMD 3 years ago
NTA I would end the engagement and you should stick to what you want the money for. What got me really heated was when her family assumed it was for their daughters debt, plus the gall to say it's when he's her husband the money should be hers. What planet are they from? As for you I wouldn't walk I'd RUN,!
Melvin Polanco 3 years ago
Whats missing here is what happened next..did he have a talk with her..what about the parents were they mad at him as well .. what was the total outcome ?? These questions shldve been asked & maybe answered with a part two the continuation cause this would help other people & face it it sounded like a good real life situation drama
TheReader19 3 years ago
"My ex-fiance" is more appropriate in this instance. 100% addict behaviour
phantom ski 3 years ago
It's crazy.... she's crazy, her family just wants you to clear her debt, red flags 10000000000
Joe Hurd 3 years ago
I wouldn't pay off her debts either. It's not as if she's homeless and starving. Poor financial skills is something that affects a lot of people and they never learn when someone is always bailing them out. Especially if about to get married, I don't want someone else's poor money management to turn into a lien on my house or car
Jessica Avery 3 years ago
I'm not the greatest with money myself, but I'm self aware so I let my husband be in charge of the finances (I'm still involved with knowing how much and such, I just use him as a buffer between me and buying something essentially). It's worked well for us and helped me learn some control as I get older (I was 18 when we first got together, only a few years from 40 now). But that was my decision from the start because I knew my weakness. If I was this guy, I'd run far and fast from all these red flags from her AND her family
Princess Jade 3 years ago
People's attitude towards money is imo one of the basic core values that you should be on the same page.
Jeremy Crocker 3 years ago
It goes both ways, his debt will be hers so if he's being responsible and using the money on bills, a car loan and mortgage then everyone should be satisfied with that.
Christine RN 3 years ago
Decidedly NTA, but fiancé and her family are. She is an RN. I am an RN. She makes a good and maybe even great salary. The money is OPs. He is right not to trust her. Her money problems are of her own making. She is used to being bailed out by her parents. Trashing the room - ridiculously entitled, juvenile and selfish behavior. Big red flag. This behavior will only get worse if you married her. Please end this relationship. She’s done you a favor by showing you who she really is. You deserve better.
Matt Mosher 3 years ago
So she was willing to take the money against his will? Pull the eject handle and gtfo. If you can't even keep cash around that is a major issue. She's doing what addicts do. Eject.
Melvin Polanco 3 years ago
What they need is a small break if this continues to be an issue.. see if she took a "loan" from her parents then he's not responsible for that loan nor any debt she might have owed.. for her to trash the apartment was a sad thing to hear.. she didn't even care it was where she lived with the person who was taking care of the house.. & she wasn't talking to him what he's suppose to do give her that money.. she was still owing 3 cards her parents & whatever else she owed..& if her spending was out of control..she has thoes issues to work on.. they need some time apart..not break up ut they need to just get some type of breather..cause he never knew she'd at like this.. and she tght she hit the jackpot already.. if he had won the lottery imagine her spending habits then.. put of control.. she still has to pay her parents herself not her fiancé unless takes her debt to be his, which wldnt happen, she needs to reevaluate her sunny disposition and work on herself first.
Jesse Jade 3 years ago
Your earnings are not the help she needs, it's about self control and she wants you to cover her self control or do it for you. It's like asking you to go pee for her because she's too cold to get up.
Alex Mosby 3 years ago
Trashing the room was reason enough to end the relationship. That's not ok. She was willing to steal and she'd be willing to hide future debt. Move on.
D. Nicole Hiljus 3 years ago
Please know that her money problems will become your money when you get married. Do you want to be having some variation of this argument every day for the rest of your life? Do you want to be responsible for her future debt? Do you want to see your ability to save drained by frivolous spending. Not to mention if she is bold enough to trash your room to find your money when you refused to give it up what do you think she'll be like when she is your wife? BTW yes throwing more money at a money problem just makes a bigger money problem. A budget needs to be created that works within the current means.
Chasen Crooks 3 years ago
This guy is an idiot is he marries her. Bad with money and a thief? Hard pass
Joyce Monty 3 years ago
You need to put a lot of distance between yourself, this woman and her parents. NOW. She is a mess.
Stay Off My Lawn 3 years ago
If he had married her, her debts would likely have become his. If he knew she was so bad with money, why did he let the relationship go so far??? Did he think he could fix her???
Jen 3 years ago
He did say that he hadnt known she had 3 maxed out cards, they probably didnt talk money until after they were engaged so he had no idea whrn he proposed, but he isnt setting a date for a reason.
Load More Replies... Bobbi McGough Robert 3 years ago
Do not marry that woman. Get out of the relationship before she bleeds you dry! She's looking for an endless bank account, not a husband!
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
She sounds like a gold digger to me. So, her parents bailed her out once, but she's right back in debt? And she trashed the room in an obvious effort to steal YOUR money. What if she had? Would you still even consider staying with her? You seriously need to rethink marrying this woman.
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
I ran a credit report on my ex before we got married. He had an amazing job (he was a chemist, yes a LEGAL chemist) and over $70k in debt (in 1989!). Um, your car is paid for and your rent is dirt cheap. We ate out quite a lot and went dancing several nights a week - BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE COULD AFFORD IT. His Mom finally talked him into filing bankruptcy (no way was I going to have that much debt associated with me. I had "just a job" but had worked really hard to live within my means). Turns out he had a really serious gambling problem. When we split up & I needed a new apartment I learned that he had never ONCE paid our rent on time, there was always a 3 day pay or vacate notice on the door, but he got home first so I never saw them. Same with the phone and the utilities, nothing was ever paid until we got a 24 hour shut off notice. He tried to convince the judge not to direct debit his paycheck for child support. How he managed not to laugh in his face I'll never know.
Dawnieangel76 3 years ago
I hope he dumped her. My mom has similar issues with money. When her current husband told me & my siblings he wanted to marry her, I told him it was a bad idea. He was shocked & I said "I love her, but she's gonna wreck your life financially & potentially emotionally as well." He didn't listen, and she did exactly that, but he loves her unconditionally & won't leave her. He's one of the good ones, for sure.
Bone Dome Martin 3 years ago
Dude! She TRAAAAASHED your roooooooooom trying to find the money!!!! You're marrying what sounds like a psychopath. Proceed at your own risk
Jonathan Allen 3 years ago
I'd be afraid to be with this woman because if she's like this now and her parents blindly support her imagine if they had a kid together. She would try to take him for everything he has and use that kid as an excuse
Myxomatosis 3 years ago
Marriage is purely a financial transaction. You are literally marrying the other's debt. Assuming 50% responsibility. *Love does not require marriage.*
Marques Marqs 3 years ago
Now if she were reasonable and normal, and maybe asked for just a small PORTION to help with her debt, that would be different. But to demand his money like that is a problem. Her family is bad too. Better to call off the engagement.
Abbelius 3 years ago
He hasn't. And hopefully he won't. Not without her getting some financial counseling, at least.
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tim devlin 3 years ago
Not saying you can't marry her. Everyone has their flaws and you can accept that. However, it doesn't mean she can't acknowledge the issue or that you have to be careless. Simple fix .. prenuptial agreement. Clearly, she has problems and enabling her doesn't solve them. It's a problem only she can fix. The last thing both of you should want is for her problem to take you both down. As her and her family's mindset is what's yours is hers this doesn't just include winnings. It also includes ending up in the poorhouse or even worse, the big house.
KC Greenlawn 3 years ago
Hmm.... Can you give her a portion of your winnings to pay off debt? Who pays for the trip? Day to day expenses? Utilities etc? Maybe if you are so attached to money....you are both in the wrong relationship....
Abbelius 3 years ago
Are they, though? She seems to be attached to money, too. His. And her own, too, as she evidently has a spending problem. Her money first, now his.
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Dean Bernales 3 years ago
I guess the entire content of the post just went over your head. She didn't work for it , either. She's obviously not doing anything to fix her financial straits. She hasn't paid her parents back, in fact, she got herself in equal or greater debt than before. She will never change until people quit helping her out. She has used up all the good will that most people would give her. How about next time you win some, you give it to her? You didn't work for it, either, right?
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John Dough 3 years ago
.... as you sit here caring judgements on the situation. Hypocrite much?
Load More Replies... MiriPanda 3 years ago
"my current fiance", "we are in no hurry to get married" - I think it's dawning on him that this might not be such a good idea after all :)
ThisisEngland 3 years ago
They can't afford to get married. She's lumbered with a heap of debt.
Load More Replies... rob 3 years ago
Normally i hate the "break up immediately" advise you see in almost every post but this time, after reading she trashed the room looking for the money i definitely hope he breaks up with this woman. Maybe she has many otger good qualities but this is insane.
Brocken Blue 3 years ago
It’s never a great idea to marry someone who you can’t trust financially. Better to figure that out early, instead of learning through a divorce and bankruptcy like myself 🤦
Load More Replies... Weasel Wise 3 years ago
Speaking as a person who has worked professionally with situations that sound pretty similar, I would be willing to wager that she has an addiction to some sorta drug...my bet is pills.
MiriPanda 3 years ago
Or perhaps a shopaholic? He said she spends money on useless things.
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 3 years ago
The parents were so relieved because they know their daughter isn't ever going to pay them back.
Deborah B 3 years ago
If OP loves her, he should tell her he will use some of the money for debt counselling and therapy to break her shopping addiction. He absolutely should not marry her, combine finances with her, or pay off her debt until she has overcome her addiction and paid down her debt.
William Foels 3 years ago
Been there, done that. Not to this extreme, but I let my heart overrule my head. Run like hell brother
Lisa H 3 years ago
She trashed their room trying to steal his money with the intent of paying off her debt, but, realistically, she would most likely go on a spending spree, leaving him with little to none of HIS money. He also said outright that he doesn't trust her with money. He needs to go back and read his own words VERY carefully. And then break up with her. She CAN'T be trusted. If they get married with her spending habits then it's just a matter of time before HER debt becomes HIS debt as well, regardless how responsible he is with money. They could very possibly end up destitute because of her and while she may feel remorseful for her actions, she won't change unless a drastic intervention takes place, and even then there's 0 guarantee. She needs to lay in the bed that she made (if she can even afford it).
Will Cable 3 years ago (edited)
Take a leaf from Forrest Gump and RUN. Get her out of your life ASAP.
Mad McQueen 3 years ago
She needs therapy. And if she won't go then you need to walk away. Her debt is not yours. My husband and I have sep bank accounts. I shared one once with an ex and won't again. He was burned by his ex too. We don't care who has how much as long as our bills get paid. But she is looking for more to p**s away than fix what's wrong now. Honestly you need to run.
Janice Turner 3 years ago
NTA. Your fiance's money problems can't be solved with money. She may need help with a shopping addiction, impulse control.in fact you should encourage her to get financial counseling to help her.She's a grown woman that needs to confront her own issues. She'd isn't ready for marriage until she takes responsibility for her own issues.
Michael Largey 3 years ago
Notice that even her parents campaigned for you to pay her deficiencies. Run!
T Ri 3 years ago (edited)
The fact that she tried to steal it and told her parents about his windfall so that they could guilt him into paying off her debts, as though his finances are their business, is enough to get the ring back and tell her to kick rocks. Enough will never be enough for this woman and her family. And starting a family with this woman would be the nail in the coffin. Peace out and make sure all avenues to your money are secure before doing so.
abbie allbee 3 years ago
A relationship is built on trust, unconditional love, and respect. It doesn't sound like she has any of those qualities and her parents are just trying to do her onto you. Huge red flags. Think twice about the marriage.
Parriah 3 years ago
What if she HAD found the money and rushed off to pay off her debt before you could force her to return any? Would you want to marry her then? Her gleefully crowing debt free not giving even a teeeeeeny little s**t how that loss changed your hopeful plans and great improvement to your own life and life together as a couple. She absolutely would have immediately spent all your money and felt completely justified. Why would you marry someone who loves herself literally a billion times more than she will ever love you. Enjoy your money, fun being rich and SINGLE!
amy hipps 3 years ago
He says he is worried NOW. What the hell does he think will happen when they marry and she is entitled to half of what he owns? Hope he likes the idea of being in debt because that is where his near future wife will put him at. I mean does he not understand that if she does go back to debt when they are married that it will be hus debt as well?
Jen 3 years ago
It sounds like that is his worry and why he is putting off actually getting married. He wants her to get her act together first.
Load More Replies... Stannous Flouride 3 years ago
My first thought upon reading the headline was, "sounds like a junkie."
LayDiva in the Zone 3 years ago
YTA if you marry someone you can't trust financially. Money is a deal breaker because I can't eat love, sleep in it, or drive it.
Mori Avila 3 years ago
She has SOMETHING more serious going on than just student loans and maxed out credit cards, especially for her to be a RN and still having to use a huge chunk of her pay to pay off these debts. To me, from seeing friends being indebted to "loan sharks", she ransacked the whole place to steal YOUR money and then had the audacity to get her parents to tell you that YOUR money is hers once you two are married, meaning none of this relationship really seemed to have any real value other than monetary, especially since you won that money. She's indebted to far worse than student loans and credit cards, friend, and your best bet is to RUN before she gets you roped into it and claims to her "loaners" that your winnings are the money they're owed, it will seriously put you in danger.
Dre Mosley 3 years ago
NTA. I've been in this situation (dating someone who lives beyond their means and spends money they don't have). It never ends with people like that. My ex had collections agencies calling her on a weekly basis and she still wouldn't stop racking up debts because she just had to have whatever shiny new toy caught her eye.
CAMD 3 years ago
NTA I would end the engagement and you should stick to what you want the money for. What got me really heated was when her family assumed it was for their daughters debt, plus the gall to say it's when he's her husband the money should be hers. What planet are they from? As for you I wouldn't walk I'd RUN,!
Melvin Polanco 3 years ago
Whats missing here is what happened next..did he have a talk with her..what about the parents were they mad at him as well .. what was the total outcome ?? These questions shldve been asked & maybe answered with a part two the continuation cause this would help other people & face it it sounded like a good real life situation drama
TheReader19 3 years ago
"My ex-fiance" is more appropriate in this instance. 100% addict behaviour
phantom ski 3 years ago
It's crazy.... she's crazy, her family just wants you to clear her debt, red flags 10000000000
Joe Hurd 3 years ago
I wouldn't pay off her debts either. It's not as if she's homeless and starving. Poor financial skills is something that affects a lot of people and they never learn when someone is always bailing them out. Especially if about to get married, I don't want someone else's poor money management to turn into a lien on my house or car
Jessica Avery 3 years ago
I'm not the greatest with money myself, but I'm self aware so I let my husband be in charge of the finances (I'm still involved with knowing how much and such, I just use him as a buffer between me and buying something essentially). It's worked well for us and helped me learn some control as I get older (I was 18 when we first got together, only a few years from 40 now). But that was my decision from the start because I knew my weakness. If I was this guy, I'd run far and fast from all these red flags from her AND her family
Princess Jade 3 years ago
People's attitude towards money is imo one of the basic core values that you should be on the same page.
Jeremy Crocker 3 years ago
It goes both ways, his debt will be hers so if he's being responsible and using the money on bills, a car loan and mortgage then everyone should be satisfied with that.
Christine RN 3 years ago
Decidedly NTA, but fiancé and her family are. She is an RN. I am an RN. She makes a good and maybe even great salary. The money is OPs. He is right not to trust her. Her money problems are of her own making. She is used to being bailed out by her parents. Trashing the room - ridiculously entitled, juvenile and selfish behavior. Big red flag. This behavior will only get worse if you married her. Please end this relationship. She’s done you a favor by showing you who she really is. You deserve better.
Matt Mosher 3 years ago
So she was willing to take the money against his will? Pull the eject handle and gtfo. If you can't even keep cash around that is a major issue. She's doing what addicts do. Eject.
Melvin Polanco 3 years ago
What they need is a small break if this continues to be an issue.. see if she took a "loan" from her parents then he's not responsible for that loan nor any debt she might have owed.. for her to trash the apartment was a sad thing to hear.. she didn't even care it was where she lived with the person who was taking care of the house.. & she wasn't talking to him what he's suppose to do give her that money.. she was still owing 3 cards her parents & whatever else she owed..& if her spending was out of control..she has thoes issues to work on.. they need some time apart..not break up ut they need to just get some type of breather..cause he never knew she'd at like this.. and she tght she hit the jackpot already.. if he had won the lottery imagine her spending habits then.. put of control.. she still has to pay her parents herself not her fiancé unless takes her debt to be his, which wldnt happen, she needs to reevaluate her sunny disposition and work on herself first.
Jesse Jade 3 years ago
Your earnings are not the help she needs, it's about self control and she wants you to cover her self control or do it for you. It's like asking you to go pee for her because she's too cold to get up.
Alex Mosby 3 years ago
Trashing the room was reason enough to end the relationship. That's not ok. She was willing to steal and she'd be willing to hide future debt. Move on.
D. Nicole Hiljus 3 years ago
Please know that her money problems will become your money when you get married. Do you want to be having some variation of this argument every day for the rest of your life? Do you want to be responsible for her future debt? Do you want to see your ability to save drained by frivolous spending. Not to mention if she is bold enough to trash your room to find your money when you refused to give it up what do you think she'll be like when she is your wife? BTW yes throwing more money at a money problem just makes a bigger money problem. A budget needs to be created that works within the current means.
Chasen Crooks 3 years ago
This guy is an idiot is he marries her. Bad with money and a thief? Hard pass
Joyce Monty 3 years ago
You need to put a lot of distance between yourself, this woman and her parents. NOW. She is a mess.
Stay Off My Lawn 3 years ago
If he had married her, her debts would likely have become his. If he knew she was so bad with money, why did he let the relationship go so far??? Did he think he could fix her???
Jen 3 years ago
He did say that he hadnt known she had 3 maxed out cards, they probably didnt talk money until after they were engaged so he had no idea whrn he proposed, but he isnt setting a date for a reason.
Load More Replies... Bobbi McGough Robert 3 years ago
Do not marry that woman. Get out of the relationship before she bleeds you dry! She's looking for an endless bank account, not a husband!
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
She sounds like a gold digger to me. So, her parents bailed her out once, but she's right back in debt? And she trashed the room in an obvious effort to steal YOUR money. What if she had? Would you still even consider staying with her? You seriously need to rethink marrying this woman.
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
I ran a credit report on my ex before we got married. He had an amazing job (he was a chemist, yes a LEGAL chemist) and over $70k in debt (in 1989!). Um, your car is paid for and your rent is dirt cheap. We ate out quite a lot and went dancing several nights a week - BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE COULD AFFORD IT. His Mom finally talked him into filing bankruptcy (no way was I going to have that much debt associated with me. I had "just a job" but had worked really hard to live within my means). Turns out he had a really serious gambling problem. When we split up & I needed a new apartment I learned that he had never ONCE paid our rent on time, there was always a 3 day pay or vacate notice on the door, but he got home first so I never saw them. Same with the phone and the utilities, nothing was ever paid until we got a 24 hour shut off notice. He tried to convince the judge not to direct debit his paycheck for child support. How he managed not to laugh in his face I'll never know.
Dawnieangel76 3 years ago
I hope he dumped her. My mom has similar issues with money. When her current husband told me & my siblings he wanted to marry her, I told him it was a bad idea. He was shocked & I said "I love her, but she's gonna wreck your life financially & potentially emotionally as well." He didn't listen, and she did exactly that, but he loves her unconditionally & won't leave her. He's one of the good ones, for sure.
Bone Dome Martin 3 years ago
Dude! She TRAAAAASHED your roooooooooom trying to find the money!!!! You're marrying what sounds like a psychopath. Proceed at your own risk
Jonathan Allen 3 years ago
I'd be afraid to be with this woman because if she's like this now and her parents blindly support her imagine if they had a kid together. She would try to take him for everything he has and use that kid as an excuse
Myxomatosis 3 years ago
Marriage is purely a financial transaction. You are literally marrying the other's debt. Assuming 50% responsibility. *Love does not require marriage.*
Marques Marqs 3 years ago
Now if she were reasonable and normal, and maybe asked for just a small PORTION to help with her debt, that would be different. But to demand his money like that is a problem. Her family is bad too. Better to call off the engagement.
Abbelius 3 years ago
He hasn't. And hopefully he won't. Not without her getting some financial counseling, at least.
Load More Replies... tim devlin 3 years ago
Not saying you can't marry her. Everyone has their flaws and you can accept that. However, it doesn't mean she can't acknowledge the issue or that you have to be careless. Simple fix .. prenuptial agreement. Clearly, she has problems and enabling her doesn't solve them. It's a problem only she can fix. The last thing both of you should want is for her problem to take you both down. As her and her family's mindset is what's yours is hers this doesn't just include winnings. It also includes ending up in the poorhouse or even worse, the big house.
KC Greenlawn 3 years ago
Hmm.... Can you give her a portion of your winnings to pay off debt? Who pays for the trip? Day to day expenses? Utilities etc? Maybe if you are so attached to money....you are both in the wrong relationship....
Abbelius 3 years ago
Are they, though? She seems to be attached to money, too. His. And her own, too, as she evidently has a spending problem. Her money first, now his.
Load More Replies... Dean Bernales 3 years ago
I guess the entire content of the post just went over your head. She didn't work for it , either. She's obviously not doing anything to fix her financial straits. She hasn't paid her parents back, in fact, she got herself in equal or greater debt than before. She will never change until people quit helping her out. She has used up all the good will that most people would give her. How about next time you win some, you give it to her? You didn't work for it, either, right?
Load More Replies... John Dough 3 years ago
.... as you sit here caring judgements on the situation. Hypocrite much?
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