Entitled Parents Let Their Kids Run Around A Restaurant Until One Grabs A Stranger’s Legs And Gets Yelled At
Life with kids usually means there’s quite a lot of commotion and running around. And unsurprisingly, some children wander off to places they shouldn’t be, which can lead to some unpleasant situations.
Redditor u/buizel123 told the AITA community about the encounter he had with a parent whose child crawled under his table in a restaurant. The OP’s reaction to the kid angered the parent, who came to scold the man about it and called him a jerk. The situation split the online community into two camps, the majority siding with the redditor nevertheless.
It’s a parent’s responsibility to stop their child from wandering off to places they shouldn’t be in
Image credits: ASphotostudio (not the actual photo)
Someone else’s kid was crawling under this man’s table while he was having dinner at a restaurant
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia (not the actual photo)
Image credits: buizel123
Being in a public place doesn’t mean the parent can count on the public to take responsibility for their child
Being in a bustling public place with kids might not be easy for the parents nor for the strangers around them. The little explorers are fueled by curiosity and the abundance of distractions in the environment, which is one of the reasons they tend to run off. When they do, it’s a parent’s responsibility to make sure they’re safe and, preferably, not interfering in someone else’s activities.
While some bystanders don’t mind someone’s four-year-old catching up with what they’ve been up to, others might not be equally as excited about it. The OP wasn’t too happy about someone else’s kid crawling under his table while he was trying to enjoy a dinner with his friend. When the situation escalated, the parent felt the guy was in the wrong for yelling at the kid, turning a blind eye to the fact that the kid shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
Some people feel entitled to others watching over their children. They might expect that because their offspring is little, others will try to make sure they’re safe and sound everywhere they go. However, parents and guardians should be the ones bearing responsibility for their kids unless they’re staying with someone who has agreed to watch over them. Agreeing to look after a child, which entails taking the responsibility, is way different from having to deal with a tiny human that presented themselves in front of you out of nowhere.
Image credits: Gültac Əşrəfli (not the actual photo)
There are some steps parents can take that help teach children proper behavior in public
Teaching a child to behave in public is a difficult task. That is why Boys Town Pediatrics suggested that it’s worth practicing at home before going out in public. Starting with a familiar place can make it easier to apply the same rules elsewhere, where the number of all sorts of distractions is typically way higher.
Boys Town Pediatrics also pointed out that one of the ways to encourage proper behavior is setting clear expectations and praising the child for following them. It’s beneficial to let the child know what’s expected of them in a certain environment (going to a restaurant, for instance, might have slightly different expectations from going grocery shopping), and letting them know that they’re doing a good job when they are.
In an article for Psychology Today, developmental psychologist and expert in children’s behavior and parenting, Nancy S. Buck, PhD, also emphasized the importance of setting clear-cut expectations to young children; it is one of her seven success strategies for taking your kids out in public. The other ones include planning for the outing and including something fun or enjoyable in the plan, as well as reviewing the pre-discussed rules before entering the premises of the public place.
The parenting expert also suggested asking the child if they think they can follow the rules that day before entering the place. She pointed out that it’s likely the most important step, as if the kid says they’re not in the mood to behave, it’s best to cancel the mission and put a raincheck on the activity. Other strategies involve asking if the offspring remembers the plan if they start misbehaving all of a sudden, and self-evaluating the way both sides stuck to the plan.
These rules apply to taking the kids to a restaurant as well, as they can help manage the little ones easier and avoid them wandering off or disturbing others. And that would allow people to avoid situations similar to the one the OP shared in his story.
Image credits: Francesca Cinel (not the actual photo)
The majority of the redditors in the comments were on the OP’s side
Some thought both sides were at fault in the situation
Small kids running around in a restaurant is super dangerous, not only can they run into tables, chairs etc, but the risk of running into staff carrying plates with hot food and dropping it. I’m a server and I’ve almost run into more kids then I can count while carrying plates of really hot food.
I think you've raised a really important point in your last sentence and I have no doubt that if a server dropped scolding hot food on a child who ran into them, the parents would be very quick to blame the server. I think it would it be perfectly reasonable to insist children stay seated while in a restaurant.
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Against popular belief a restaurant is NOT a daycare. Parents are responsible for their kids - and if you know you have small, very energetic children, then a restaurant is not the place to go.
That is absolutely not against popular belief in my experience. I'm a parent, and I agree with you. If my kid misbehaved or wound up other clientele, I would take him outside to calm down, or home.
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These ppl answering ESH can suck it. If someone is enjoying a meal in a restaurant and unexpectedly has someone or thing grab their leg under the table, whatever unpremeditated response is forgiven. In my case, I probably would have had a literal knee-jerk reaction, which would hopefully end up not connecting with the kid or my partner, but I'm very touch-sensitive and if caught by surprise it would take a second for me to control my response. F**k these people and their uncontrolled spawn
Guy's better than me I would have kicked the kid, not on purpose, just because something touched my leg and I have no idea what it was. NTA all the way.
Yeah I have an instant "knee jerk" reaction to unexpected touches, be it adults, kids, animals or insects. 100% would have kicked this kid in fright, though I'd probably feel bad about it later.
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There is no ESH. It is entirely NTA. If a parent can't control their demon spawn, they will suffer the consequences. Stay at home if you can't properly control your kids. I wish upscale restaurants would kick those families out or not allow any children below a certain age.
There are some restaurants that have established "brat bans" where no one under six years old is allowed.
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I was in the fitting room at a TJ Max not long ago and this wretched child (boy about 9) was running through the fitting rooms trying to "see naked ladies" well he found one when he stuck his head under the door and the lady instinctively kicked him in the face. Probably broke the kids nose and he SCREAMED and ran through the store bleeding everywhere looking for his mother. That kid deserved to get kicked in the face and I think we all (people in the store) cheered a little as the dead beat mom carried her revolting little beast out of the store. I have no clue what happened next. Children and their parents can be utterly vile.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. It sucks he go his nose broke. I would never want to actively harm any child. That said, there are consequences to actions. As the kids today say, "he effed around an found out". I'll bet he won't be trying to peep on ladies changing rooms for a while.
Load More Replies... NTA. I dont let my kids run around in restaurants - partly because of other diners comfort but mostly because its a health and safety risk for the serving staff. Tripping over kids with arms full of food and drinks would be hell. I would be mortified if my child climbed under someone elses table and while yelling might have been an overreaction it's also appropriate for my kids to learn that if they encroach on someone elses space they are likely to get yelled at.
Good for you! My grandmother and I once had an otherwise nice dinner out ruined by some little s--ts who were running amok.
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If a feral child is bothering you, simply give them an espresso, and then tell them, "I heard your parents say they're going to get you a new puppy."
Lol. I would absolutely do this (the puppy part) and laugh myself into an asthma attack watching the kid run back to their parents asking about the puppy.
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Absolutely NTA, not even in the slightest. As others already mentioned, kicking whatever touches you from below the table is a normal reaction, so shouting is absolutely okay. The kid will remember this and won't do it again. There is a million things that can go wrong and can end with somebody getting hurt badly. I really don't get how someone can say ESH.
Yes, there are better ways to communicate but the shock of yelling is sometimes necessary -- like if the kid is in danger or you need an immediate reaction. Yelling seemed to work here. However, I would not have waited 20 minutes to say something. As others have mentioned, this is a health and safety issue; I would have taken it to the manager to handle. If the customers can't behave, they get kicked out.
Yes, the ones voting ESH seem to believe everyone is an emotional-less robot capable of behaving in a calm, rational manner at all times, processing situations in nanoseconds and working out the best possible reaction at all times. Those other "adults" are the AH.
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NTA. Better the kid got yelled at than caused an accident and got scalding-hot tea or something all over them. EDIT: I just realised, there's something I should add. My cousin, who is in his fifties now, has scars all down his left arm. He was badly scalded at the age of six when he noticed his mum had left a pot of milk on the stove with the handle out and, knowing that was dangerous, he tried to push it back so his little sister wouldn't touch it. To be fair to my aunt, the little sister had spina binfida and needed a lot of care, so she had probably stepped away to do something for her. But my point is: hot food can scar a kid for life, even when the kid is trying their best to be sensible
I like how all the ESH statements offered no solutions or examples of how to have handled the situation.
All the ESH statements come from parents that allow their children to run wild like in this story
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There used to be smoking and non smoking sections, now there should be kids, and no kids sections, they say it takes a village, well I'm the hermit on the edge of town who hates your children
That would be soooo nice. A local grocery has sensory-friendly hours where the lights are dimmed, the music goes off, the registers don't beep, etc. I always shop then. Small children are not permitted into the store for those two hours once a week. And some parents still complain, but the store holds their ground. People with sensory issues deserve to be in public too. I've had to leave more than one restaurant because shrieking children make it unbearable for me. I wish there were also no-kid sections on airplanes. Noise-cancelling headphones only do so much. I don't hate children, I don't dispute their right to exist, but young children's natural behaviour exacerbates my medical issues. The world needs to make space for everyone.
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A kid getting yelled at for doing something wrong is not going to scar them for life. It might actually teach them that they did something wrong and they need to modify their behaviour. The op could have yelled something more like "You kids need to GO SIT DOWN, EAT YOUR DINNER AND BEHAVE!" Show these parents the correct way to parent. Out parent the parent!
When I was a kid growing up we wouldn't dare misbehave in a restaurant. And all of us have raised our kids the same way.
Yeah there was something called stranger danger when I was growing up, no way I'm gonna crawl under a strangers table.
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I work at a dine in pizza place. Here are a few things I have witnessed people letting their kids do. Hang off a light fixture above the table. Stand on a table and pretend to be surfing. Empty the entire soap dispenser and flood the bathroom with bubbles. Sit in the middle of the dining room and yell cuss words at the top of their lungs. What kind of parents permit this destructive and antisocial behavior?
Trash that should've been neutered before they reached puberty.
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Sometimes yelling at kids is a way of teaching and keeping them safe. We all get tired and frustrated with a desire to relax but with such young kids you can't do that in an enclosed public place. Just because you think you can see your kid doesn't mean someone else won't take advantage of the situation and take off with your screaming brat. "oh lookie here, we have a free child. I bet we could make some big bucks selling it on the darkweb." When I'm tired I can be worse then that. I am known to yell at a kid on my street for playing an odd game with cars. I yelled at the kid if he wanted to die and make his mother cry for the rest of her life, I would be happy to oblige and hit him with my car the next time. He would be on a tricycle, waiting to coming down a short driveway just as unsuspecting cars drove up the street, on purpose. NTA IMO.
I yelled at a kid one time for intentionally running in front of our car while we were looking at mobile homes. I knew it was intentional because she waited until we got close.The speed limit is low in those parks, but it was still dangerous. No, it isn't always inappropriate to yell.
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There's a restaurant in the Chicago area that has a sign on the front door that says we'll behaved children who know how to use inside voices are welcome. They initially received a lot of criticism, but that was outnumbered by letters of support posted in the windows.
I went into a public restroom once where a mom was changing her baby. She also had a 4 or 5 year old boy with her (it was a women's room). He stuck his head under the door while I was going. I instinctively shouted "No!" and kicked out. I missed him, thank goodness, but the little creep shouldn't have done it in the first place.
I was working at a women's clothing store where we had a seating area with children's books to make things easier for mothers to shop. This kid (10-ish) was, rather than sitting where he'd been told to, was going around, grabbing all the mannequins' breasts whilst his mum was trying on clothes. I guess it was technically harmless, but still kind of creepy. Then his mother saw him. She hauled him into the bathroom for a blistering lecture the whole store heard, and then he had to apologize to the manager for being "rude and disrespectful and inappropriate." I gave her the employee discount for her clothes.
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We were sitting in a kind of window alcove with juuuuuuust enough room that the small kids figured they could run around our table. As one came running up, I stuck my leg out, bracing it against the wall and said in a very quiet steely voice learned from my mother, "Do. Not." Kid paused, tried a step forward... I snapped my fingers like I would to a puppy and repeated quietly with firm eye contact (again - like with a puppy), "Do not...." And we were left along for the rest of the meal.
To this day I remember being in a similar situation almost 40 years ago, with my parents at a pizza place. My father, who was generally soft spoken ROARED"Control. Your. Children!" At least then the parents had the Decency to be embarrassed.
I have two kids. I would never and have never let them run around in a restaurant. Even when they were tiny and in high chairs if they made noise I took them outside until they quietened down. I mostly ate just a few mouthfuls of my own food because my main job was seeing to the kids and making sure they didn't disturb other people and create a mess. When we left the restaurant I would tidy up dropped food so it wasn't left to the staff. I just cannot understand the gall and audacity of "parents" who have no regard for other people in this way. These parents are the reason so many child free people are hostile to kids being in public and they make me burn with rage.
Exactly! You do your job properly. But OP's kids are why people are actually calling for child-free restaurants, which just punishes other parents - and children. EDIT: clarification.
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I'm neurodivergent and do NOT like being touched by people I don't know. So, I would have likely flailed and probably screamed like a five year old girl. Not only would that hurt that kid, as I am very strong when in fight or flight mode, and being startled like that will trigger it. I try to stay as aware of my surroundings at all times to avoid this, but sometimes, you're exhausted from a long day/week/month, etc, and you can't devote that much energy to curb that reaction. And there are a lot of people with this reaction out there, not just a 47 year old woman with ASD. It's people with other sensory issues, dermal conditions, PTSD...it doesn't matter. Teach your children some damned respect and boundaries. I would have been given THE LOOK, ONCE, as a courtesy of I even left my seat before I was taken to the car. Even my sister, who is "severely" Autistic doesn't behave like that in a restaurant, much to people's chagrin.
Children should sit at parents table not running around the servers could get hurt or hurt child they are carrying hot items. Child could have been snatched and never seen again except dead. Not kidding this is a dangerous world we live in now so keep your kids close.
To be fair, it has always been a dangerous world, although according to the actual data, we are currently living in the safest time in human history.
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Sorry, but definitely NTA. We made it a point to teach her public etiquette as reasonably early as possible to make sure our daughter didn't even pull a fraction of what these children were doing while in a restaurant. Sure she would hop between booth seats to either mommy's side or daddy's side to color or play a tablet game, but you best believe she didn't dare leave past the table unless to the potty or to leave. She's 5 now and we're still able to go to dine in without being "that" family. Why is it so difficult for a lot of these parents with out of control kids to try and even make the effort, but then become crooked when someone does it for them?
I think it's because they romanticized having children, but when it actually happened, and they found out the hard work and sacrificed involved, they take the laziest way out, which is tolerating the behavior, and allowing others to cope.
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oh my god I would've actually screamed so loud if this happened to me. not only have I been sexually assaulted in a very similar way (being grabbed and groped by someone I couldn't see and was never able to identify) but I also have severe chronic pain in my legs. how hard is it for a parent to teach "keep your hands to yourself"? I'd already gotten that rule down by the time I was in kindergarten
Bring kids to restaurant, bring QUIET things to entertain them. Too much energy, have a picnic at a playground!!
And don't bring noisy tablets or video games that are going to irritate other customers.
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While I agree with the comments saying there is not need to yell at the kid, sometimes, it can't be helped. It's a knee jerk reaction when suddenly you are being touched by someone and you weren't expecting it. NTA for the OP but definitely the table of adults are AHs for letting their kids run around. My answer to her "he was only playing" would be "this is not a playground.
I am now 78. Decades ago when my parents were alive, I would take them to brunch on Sundays. Unfortunately in some instances a place where we might go had families. It seems there always have been those PRIVILEDGED parents that would unlock there zoo and bring their children with them. Once there was a booth near us where a couple had two under 6 kids running around. Everyone seemed a little upset by this but the parents said and did nothing . At one point one of the kids came up to our table and started being obnoxious.. I stared at the parents and said, "This is how you raise your children?" The tables around us applauded. Needless to say, the parents were embarrassed, but I don't think it changed them. One made a comment that that's what happens when you dine with OLD PEOPLE !
"with old people" whatever absolves them of their repugnant behavior. I'm not even thirty and my mom would have bent me over in front of everyone if I dared act like that.
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This is an example of “it takes a village to raise a kid.” The parents are lacking so OP has to make up for it
Except when the village steps in the harpy screeches "don't parent my kid"
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At what point did it become okay for children to run amok in a business? If they can't sit and eat with you, then leave them at home. ONLY exceptions are places FOR children to run around.
My mother's father passed down a parenting philosophy, which she passed to me, and I to my daughters: I love my children and I want others to love them but that's not likely to happen if they're brats (paraphrasing the second half). Bringing up individuals who are enjoyable to be around is better for everyone and eliminates this kind of aggravating , unnecessary, dangerous, inconsiderate nuisance. OP NTA. All slack a*s parents in that group totally AH. Group's kids, probably future AH
Sounds like the brat's egg donor was too busy getting wine-drunk to keep him under control.
Why do you only blame the mother? The father is just as much to blame for letting the kid run amok instead of correcting the behavior.
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Definitely NTA. If people can't or don't want to control their hellspawn, they should stay at home.
NTA. Mommy Dearest needs to act like a PARENT and supervise her kids. That's a public restaurant, not an activity center. The staff are paid to prepare and serve food, not babysit. That goes triple for the other guests. No one deserves to be tortured by undisciplined children running around. All it takes is for one kid to interfere with a server, and several people can get injured by broken glasses and extremely hot food. (The parent would most likely sue the restaurant and collect a small fortune, effectively closing the establishment.) Also, with very little effort, some pedophile or trafficker disguised as a customer could easily lure a child out of his parent's view, clap a hand over his mouth, and leave without a trace. There are also adults with anger issues who cannot stand children. Not. At. All. Parents: WATCH YOUR KIDS!!
I would have said much more. Whoever you think you are and you are not good at it try being a parent and get control of your little brats before they get hurt or continue being a moron without the skills of being a parent and shut the &@#$ up. entitlement my a*s.
Definitely NTA. If I'm being annoyed by some kid playing under my table in a restaurant and their parent is ignoring it I going to yell also!
I would have guven the kid the seath stare and a low go back to your table growl. So how is that different. I would have gone to the patents table and gave them the shout maybe even a deminstration of what their kods look like running around. Hey young at heart and all that.
Soooooo nooooot TA, parents need to get a grip. I would have kicked all of them out. And if they went at me on SM I would.have ripped them to pieces. Just dont for all the reasons of common sense.
NTA. Honestly loud running around kids like that unsupervised like that are very annoying to me. Especially the noise. It's a big reason why when I go out to eat I try to find a table not near any screaming children. But then I don't like kids at all so that's also part of it.
I worked in restaurants for years and we would get after parents who let their kids behave like this. It is super dangerous. If the parents wouldn't comply and control the kids we would throw them out. Better to lose a couple of customers than to have an injury or insurance claim. And I have scolded children and parents running around in a restaurant myself since leaving the business. I don't care what others think of me and the restaurant staff always backs me up so those of you thinking the OP was in the wrong for snapping at the child I think you suck. They have every right to react to having their space invaded and people need to learn how to be parents or not have children. If you can't control your kids in public spaces leave them at home with a sitter!
People who let their kids run around the restaurant like wild animals should be tossed out on their keisters by the owner/manager. That's just not cool. A restaurant is not a playground.
She's lucky it wasn't my leg her kid grabbed. I likely would have automatically kicked at the thing grabbing my leg.
Been in a restaurant when the kid came up and grabbed my steak off the plate and walked off chewing it... The parent didn't see a problem with that, and told me to shut up and stop swearing when i went whiskey tango foxtrot for quite obvious reasons. I got a new steak, and they got thrown out, but not after police was called to remove them.... Some parents has absolutely no limits or inhibitions...
NTA, My husband and I were at a local restaurant where a large party was sitting nearby and had small kids that were running around making our dinner out quite unenjoyable. I'd had enough and snapped. I stood up and loudly asked "who belongs to this?" pointing at a child that had been running by our table all night. One woman looks up and I continued "keep it under control, we did not come out tonight to spend our hard earned money on a dinner to have it ruined because you can't keep control of this" once again pointing to the child. The mother told her kid to come back to the table and the rest of them finally got there kids under control. I received many thank you's from the staff and other customers. We don't have kids but if we did you can bet they would know how to behave in a restaurant or they would be at home with a sitter, not annoying the other customers because they are brats.
For those who think ESH, especially the diner who yelled at the child, try this exercise: Go to a restaurant, preferably a fine dining one, and act normal (sitting down, ordering and enjoying a meal). Then, wait when a group of adults and small kids comes in, sits down and orders their food, then all chaos breaks out as the kids start running around. You're enjoying your meal quietly when, suddenly, you feel a small hand on you, or a bump on your legs, and you look down and see a child looking up at you. How would YOU have reacted IN THAT MOMENT??? Most likely, you would've reacted the same way in the shock of the moment, and mom should be ashamed of herself for using profanity in front of her kid and within others' hearing!
I was at a buffet this past weekend and a child was self serving (no adult) from the dessert bar. He licked one serving spoon, the proceeded to another dessert and cleaned off the serving spoon with his fingers. My friend announced in a loud voice “Who is with this child?” , he left the bar, face crumpling in tears. His minders said “Never mind about those old women, you’re a good boy.” Why I seldom go in public. If I,d heard that, I’d offer to spit in their food to return the favor.
Though I don't normally advocate yelling at kids, I understand this one. With overly permissive parents, children often need something shocking to happen for them to learn appropriate behaviour. The child learned a lesson they sorely needed to learn. Running round in restaurants is a safety hazard. What if a server trips on you? And touching strangers is a really, really bad idea. That stranger could be a pervert. I'm sure the kid felt like c**p in the moment, but it's the parents' fault for not teaching their children manners and boundaries. The OP has every right to defend their personal space, even from a child.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves - parents who don't know how to handle their kids (and by the time the kid is age 4, you should know how to handle your kid and make them behave in public, whether it's your 1st kid or your 10th). I have a relative whose kids were allowed to do *exactly* what is described in this post: run around in restaurants, shrieking like banshees, even taking food from other diners' plates. After the first time, I spoke to my relative about it & suggested the kids should be made to behave, or stay home with a sitter. Relative agreed, was embarrassed about their behavior, and said it wouldn't happen again. Second outing with them, same thing - kids running wild, parents not controlling them. That was our last outing with them & their kids. I was conveniently "busy" after that whenever I was invited.
It's such lazy parenting. This mother should take a moment and observe that not all children behave that way and then ask herself why that is.
They are lucky the kid only got yelled at, have problems and I'm unable to stop myself when I'm upset at kids like this, I have to be watched closely because I can strike at them, I love the kid but if I don't know them and they touch me without asking or start screaming, I will end up hurting them if my partner or family doest hold me, {some mental problem, I'm sorry, I don't want to abuse kids or hurt them, I like blackout and just attack and need to be grabbed with they scream or touch me, so I don't go near them mostly}
I hope you getting help for that problem. It does sound like keeping away from them is a good strategy but it isn't always possible.
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Keep your little shits out of restaurants. It's not a good place for them to be.
His initital reaction was quite harsh, but the parents are total a******s for letting their kids run around like that. A restaurant is not a daycare and they made it unpleasant for the restaurant staff and other guests. If i was the restaurant owner, i‘d let them know the kids can run around at home.
And so what if it was harsh, he's not their parent. If you don't want your child to get yelled at by a random stranger then watch your kid. There are all kinds of ppl out there, there's such a thing as stranger danger! That kid will probably think twice about doing that again and maybe avoid some pervert since the parents obviously aren't paying attention....what if that kid crawled under the table of some freak?!
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I disagree with the idea that you need to handle them with white gloves to avoid upsetting them. If that encounter makes them afraid of invading the personal space of strangers, the GOOD; they should be afraid of crawling around a stranger's legs. There are much worse consequences for being so trusting of people you don't know. If the mom doesn't like it, fine: she can try actually being a parent and enforce reasonable boundaries on her kids' behavior so strangers aren't forced to parent them for her.
People like this is the reason why some restaurants don't allow children at all and many others as well as patrons frown when you walk in with a child regardless how well behaved. Mine knew when we ate it was time to be quiet and sit still, whether out or at home. They knew when it was playtime and when it wasn't.
My parents taught us acceptable behavior and etiquette in a given context. We could listen to music or play video games on long car rides, but the electronics went away when we arrived and we're expected to engage on a social setting. We were taught table manners, and were not allowed to leave the table until we finished our meals and politely asked if we could be excused. And, no, this training started at age 2 with how to behave in places like grocery stores and by age 4 we were expected to know how to speak in a respectable fashion when we were addressed. If we misbehaved in public, whatever we were doing, be it going to Disneyland or the grocery store, was instantly cancelled. And it was made clear to us that our inability to control our behavior was why there was no food in the kitchen. Such consequences are no fun for the parent either, and this is why so many parents just try to ignore the kid's meltdown and get on with the day, making it everyone else's problem instead.
One commenter wrote "ESH. Adults losing their temper, yelling. And everyone is surprised kids aren't behaving?" I'd say that's asśbackward thinking. That child got yelled at by a stranger, which for a child can be shocking, because the parents did nothing. There is now an excellent chance that child will think twice before bothering strangers in public. If you calmly talk to a child about a serious "no no" they may decide the consequences are not harsh enough to not do it again. I would never condone violence but go ahead and yell if the parents don't know how to control THEIR children.
If the parents aren't watching their kids and keeping them from disturbing other patrons, they are setting up the kids to be yelled at. Restaurants are not parks. Time to teach your kids how to behave in public places. It's not hard and not cruel.
It's the same with any shop or Cafe. Your kids your responsibility. I will tell off kids who are jumping on furniture, running around, crawling under racks. If the parent or care giver doesn't like it then teach your kids that it is wrong to run amuck in a shop or eatery, leave your kids in the car or with someone. They should try and make it to the shop while the child is at daycare or school if possible. We have elderly people moving around our shop and we're sometimes moving furniture or heavy bags around, so we don't want to trip over a child or have one run into us. Keep your kids under control. Please.
Nta. Children should not under any circumstances be running around a restaurant. It's not a jungle gym so don't act surprised when someone yells at your children for not respecting another persons bounders. Not everyone is going to tolerate their demon spawn.
And then there's me. I pick up the kid, carry it to the front counter and report a lost child, then let the staff handle it.
And then there's me. I don't speak to the kid. I pick up the kid and carry it to the front counter and tell them it's lost and letting the staff handle it from there.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I drop my glass of water on your head when you startled me?" More than one unsupervised toddler has "accidently" tripped over my foot when running past my dinner table. I had a Mom come over and start yelling at me when her kid fell down (he was totally NOT hurt). So I started yelling back that "maybe if you got your fat a*s off your phone for 5 minutes, you could actually SUPERVISE your unruly little brat and act like a f*cking parent". I can seem really big and scary when I want to, so she backed right down. Judging from the looks on other people's faces (including waitstaff) they totally wanted to applaud. She took the kid and left.
IMPRETTYI: NTA- Did anyone ever think about the times we are living in when children are abducted? The parents clearly wasn't watching the child and there are predators waiting to make a move at any point in time. Children are kidnapped from there moms in grocery stores and parks all the time. The parents were too busy having a good time of their own drinking wine to not notice a missing child from the table. They are the a**ho**s.
I think most of the people saying he is wrong for yelling at the kid are probably parents who allow their kids to run around in restaurants. I hate to say it but one of my daughters was like that, my husband and I would be mortified to go out to eat with them and if we said anything we would get our heads bit off. We would suggest getting take out to eat st home to try to avoid that.
Typical entitled parents. They don't give a s**t as long as their kids are not annoying them. These people think the restaurant is a kindergarten / playground. I've often spoken loudly to kids making a pest of themselves just to aggravate the parents and to see what action they will take, if any.
NTA Why on earth would parents let their kids run around in stores/restaurants? Do they not understand it is not safe? These idiots do not know who is sitting a couple of tables over. I always remember a classic phrase from parents when their child turns up missing or worse, "I had just saw her/him. He/she was playing right over there..." Yeah, sure...you're keeping track of your kid(s). Children should not only be kept an actual eye on, but teach them not to touch others. Kids are messy & may even have "the sniffles" to pass on to others. NO THANK YOU!! My hubby & I never had kids. 1 big reason? We saw parents NOT RAISING & TEACHING their offspring. Just let them run round like wild animals. No thank you! Our kids would have behaved & had consequences for acting up. And a 4 year old is definitely old enough to know to stay with her family/group IF PARENT(S) would've taught her!!!
That should teach that kid a lesson his mother apparently don't teach
NTA. Parents who allow their kids to misbehave in public have no right to indignation when someone else corrects them. If you don't want a stranger talking to your kid, don't let the kid near him. It AMAZES me how many lazy parents allow their offspring to do whatever they want, ruining everyone else's time. If you can't control them, hire a flipping babysitter!
First off for you ESH people the op said she lashed out without thinking AFTER Putting up with bad behavior leading to unwanted touching you folks have screwed up priorities. As for the parents of the kids were they paying for everyone in the restaurants meals? If not they had no right to invade any of the other tables and the staff at the pizza parlor were not paid to babysit. I wonder how the group would have reacted if someone got up and joined them at their table and interrupted their meal? Parents that let their children run wild in any public place are AH and have no respect for other people's rights but expect everyone else to respect theirs.
NTA. But the situation might have been handled better. I would have asked the kid to get out from under the table. Maybe "tenderly escorted" (bwahahaha) the kid back to his parents. Then found a manager. But this is not a new problem. I'm almost 70 and I've seen this all my life. This is why I hate family restaurants and public buffets. I've seen far too many wild kids run around a buffet station, grab something with their hands, from a pan, and throw it back. OR grab it, take a taste and throw it back. Then run around tripping up adults. And where are the parents? No where to be seen. Nope, not for me.
The question I ask is what if OP had reached under the the table and touched a child? The whole conversation would be different. We teach our kids to never talk to strangers, or go with a stranger but we're affronted when s child whose parent allows them to wrong amok all over strangers! Yes yelling was a no no but maybe the child learned never touch grown ups they don't know!
Nta. If only the kids parents had the common sense to do what a complete stranger knew to do.
Honest to god, if you're a parent and say you're stressed out ..having a hard time being empathetic. Parents need to teach their kids how to behave in public spaces. If not, you're going to have incidents where the kid gets hurt, taken, or killed. She should be thankful yelling is the only thing he did instead of kick him in the fact. Teach your kids before someone elses do the job for you. Learn how to deal woth your stress or don't go out. You made the choice to have kids, research what that entails before having them! It is on no one, BUT YOU, to handle. Kids can be and usually are stressful. This shouldn't be rocket science.
If parents want there kids to run around take them to a place that has a play stop for the young ones. Why should someone else's kids ruin my time out with the shouting and screaming
One time I had to take my 2 year old to a mandatory work meeting. It was common to do this and other employees would allow their children to run around the room. I didn't and work make sure that I was with my child and didn't expect her to be watched by my coworkers. I was later informed that I was a distraction and children were banned from the meetings.
Edit: Just saw much of what I wrote has already been noted. The child getting scolded by anyone could help keep them safe! Restaurants have very hot foods and beverages being brought by fast moving servers. One kid darting underfoot could be badly burned. Shards of broken dishes and glasses, dropped knives are under tables even after careful cleaning. Kids need to stay seated or be taken outside to let off steam or be left with a caregiver.
I travel a lot and I see this sort of thing at airports all the time. I have kids but it is not my job to entertain yours. Keep them away from me. I especially like when I look up at the parent this rug rat belongs to and I just get the "isn't he precious" smile. Maybe to you but to me he's just an irritating, disease spreading, little s&$@.
Keep ur friggin bebe'z kidz with u at ur own table. This isnt a playground!!! We don't want ur Kidz coming over touching us with their lil dirty snot ground floor trash with saliva. Let's keep it real. Major fail. We want to enjoy a nice comfortable meal and conversation from a stressful day. Now we can't even do that cuz friggin ghetto bebe'z kidz with their trashy parents think they're in a park playground? Unreal. Keep ur own kids, stop trying to get free babysitter's from all of us. It's not our kid. Do ur job. Ur own motherhood job. Watch ur own dam kids lazy azzes
NTA, but shouldn't ahve yelled at the kid like that. The parents do need to teach their kids how to behave in public.
It might just have been a shock reaction though. Would you stay calm and polite if something suddenly touched your leg under the table?!
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OP said the kids were 4 - 8 years old. That's not toddler age. They're old enough to know and do better, and if the parents won't parent, they're going to be treated harshly in the real world until they learn not to be such brats.
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I love kids, I taught kindergarten for 10 years, and I know how to communicate with them... But an unexpected touch under the table? That's a guaranteed shout moment.
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Found another entitled parent! 🚨🚨🚨 #sorrynotsorry but if kids misbehave towards total strangers because you are a bad parent and letting them run around doing as they please, they are bound to get yelled at, and the yelling is no one's fault but yours. You don't want your kids getting yelled at, control their behavior.
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I just found another entitled parent, boblawblaslawnlog.
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Small kids running around in a restaurant is super dangerous, not only can they run into tables, chairs etc, but the risk of running into staff carrying plates with hot food and dropping it. I’m a server and I’ve almost run into more kids then I can count while carrying plates of really hot food.
I think you've raised a really important point in your last sentence and I have no doubt that if a server dropped scolding hot food on a child who ran into them, the parents would be very quick to blame the server. I think it would it be perfectly reasonable to insist children stay seated while in a restaurant.
Load More Replies... Against popular belief a restaurant is NOT a daycare. Parents are responsible for their kids - and if you know you have small, very energetic children, then a restaurant is not the place to go.
That is absolutely not against popular belief in my experience. I'm a parent, and I agree with you. If my kid misbehaved or wound up other clientele, I would take him outside to calm down, or home.
Load More Replies... These ppl answering ESH can suck it. If someone is enjoying a meal in a restaurant and unexpectedly has someone or thing grab their leg under the table, whatever unpremeditated response is forgiven. In my case, I probably would have had a literal knee-jerk reaction, which would hopefully end up not connecting with the kid or my partner, but I'm very touch-sensitive and if caught by surprise it would take a second for me to control my response. F**k these people and their uncontrolled spawn
Guy's better than me I would have kicked the kid, not on purpose, just because something touched my leg and I have no idea what it was. NTA all the way.
Yeah I have an instant "knee jerk" reaction to unexpected touches, be it adults, kids, animals or insects. 100% would have kicked this kid in fright, though I'd probably feel bad about it later.
Load More Replies... There is no ESH. It is entirely NTA. If a parent can't control their demon spawn, they will suffer the consequences. Stay at home if you can't properly control your kids. I wish upscale restaurants would kick those families out or not allow any children below a certain age.
There are some restaurants that have established "brat bans" where no one under six years old is allowed.
Load More Replies... I was in the fitting room at a TJ Max not long ago and this wretched child (boy about 9) was running through the fitting rooms trying to "see naked ladies" well he found one when he stuck his head under the door and the lady instinctively kicked him in the face. Probably broke the kids nose and he SCREAMED and ran through the store bleeding everywhere looking for his mother. That kid deserved to get kicked in the face and I think we all (people in the store) cheered a little as the dead beat mom carried her revolting little beast out of the store. I have no clue what happened next. Children and their parents can be utterly vile.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. It sucks he go his nose broke. I would never want to actively harm any child. That said, there are consequences to actions. As the kids today say, "he effed around an found out". I'll bet he won't be trying to peep on ladies changing rooms for a while.
Load More Replies... NTA. I dont let my kids run around in restaurants - partly because of other diners comfort but mostly because its a health and safety risk for the serving staff. Tripping over kids with arms full of food and drinks would be hell. I would be mortified if my child climbed under someone elses table and while yelling might have been an overreaction it's also appropriate for my kids to learn that if they encroach on someone elses space they are likely to get yelled at.
Good for you! My grandmother and I once had an otherwise nice dinner out ruined by some little s--ts who were running amok.
Load More Replies... If a feral child is bothering you, simply give them an espresso, and then tell them, "I heard your parents say they're going to get you a new puppy."
Lol. I would absolutely do this (the puppy part) and laugh myself into an asthma attack watching the kid run back to their parents asking about the puppy.
Load More Replies... Absolutely NTA, not even in the slightest. As others already mentioned, kicking whatever touches you from below the table is a normal reaction, so shouting is absolutely okay. The kid will remember this and won't do it again. There is a million things that can go wrong and can end with somebody getting hurt badly. I really don't get how someone can say ESH.
Yes, there are better ways to communicate but the shock of yelling is sometimes necessary -- like if the kid is in danger or you need an immediate reaction. Yelling seemed to work here. However, I would not have waited 20 minutes to say something. As others have mentioned, this is a health and safety issue; I would have taken it to the manager to handle. If the customers can't behave, they get kicked out.
Yes, the ones voting ESH seem to believe everyone is an emotional-less robot capable of behaving in a calm, rational manner at all times, processing situations in nanoseconds and working out the best possible reaction at all times. Those other "adults" are the AH.
Load More Replies... NTA. Better the kid got yelled at than caused an accident and got scalding-hot tea or something all over them. EDIT: I just realised, there's something I should add. My cousin, who is in his fifties now, has scars all down his left arm. He was badly scalded at the age of six when he noticed his mum had left a pot of milk on the stove with the handle out and, knowing that was dangerous, he tried to push it back so his little sister wouldn't touch it. To be fair to my aunt, the little sister had spina binfida and needed a lot of care, so she had probably stepped away to do something for her. But my point is: hot food can scar a kid for life, even when the kid is trying their best to be sensible
I like how all the ESH statements offered no solutions or examples of how to have handled the situation.
All the ESH statements come from parents that allow their children to run wild like in this story
Load More Replies... There used to be smoking and non smoking sections, now there should be kids, and no kids sections, they say it takes a village, well I'm the hermit on the edge of town who hates your children
That would be soooo nice. A local grocery has sensory-friendly hours where the lights are dimmed, the music goes off, the registers don't beep, etc. I always shop then. Small children are not permitted into the store for those two hours once a week. And some parents still complain, but the store holds their ground. People with sensory issues deserve to be in public too. I've had to leave more than one restaurant because shrieking children make it unbearable for me. I wish there were also no-kid sections on airplanes. Noise-cancelling headphones only do so much. I don't hate children, I don't dispute their right to exist, but young children's natural behaviour exacerbates my medical issues. The world needs to make space for everyone.
Load More Replies... A kid getting yelled at for doing something wrong is not going to scar them for life. It might actually teach them that they did something wrong and they need to modify their behaviour. The op could have yelled something more like "You kids need to GO SIT DOWN, EAT YOUR DINNER AND BEHAVE!" Show these parents the correct way to parent. Out parent the parent!
When I was a kid growing up we wouldn't dare misbehave in a restaurant. And all of us have raised our kids the same way.
Yeah there was something called stranger danger when I was growing up, no way I'm gonna crawl under a strangers table.
Load More Replies... I work at a dine in pizza place. Here are a few things I have witnessed people letting their kids do. Hang off a light fixture above the table. Stand on a table and pretend to be surfing. Empty the entire soap dispenser and flood the bathroom with bubbles. Sit in the middle of the dining room and yell cuss words at the top of their lungs. What kind of parents permit this destructive and antisocial behavior?
Trash that should've been neutered before they reached puberty.
Load More Replies... Sometimes yelling at kids is a way of teaching and keeping them safe. We all get tired and frustrated with a desire to relax but with such young kids you can't do that in an enclosed public place. Just because you think you can see your kid doesn't mean someone else won't take advantage of the situation and take off with your screaming brat. "oh lookie here, we have a free child. I bet we could make some big bucks selling it on the darkweb." When I'm tired I can be worse then that. I am known to yell at a kid on my street for playing an odd game with cars. I yelled at the kid if he wanted to die and make his mother cry for the rest of her life, I would be happy to oblige and hit him with my car the next time. He would be on a tricycle, waiting to coming down a short driveway just as unsuspecting cars drove up the street, on purpose. NTA IMO.
I yelled at a kid one time for intentionally running in front of our car while we were looking at mobile homes. I knew it was intentional because she waited until we got close.The speed limit is low in those parks, but it was still dangerous. No, it isn't always inappropriate to yell.
Load More Replies... There's a restaurant in the Chicago area that has a sign on the front door that says we'll behaved children who know how to use inside voices are welcome. They initially received a lot of criticism, but that was outnumbered by letters of support posted in the windows.
I went into a public restroom once where a mom was changing her baby. She also had a 4 or 5 year old boy with her (it was a women's room). He stuck his head under the door while I was going. I instinctively shouted "No!" and kicked out. I missed him, thank goodness, but the little creep shouldn't have done it in the first place.
I was working at a women's clothing store where we had a seating area with children's books to make things easier for mothers to shop. This kid (10-ish) was, rather than sitting where he'd been told to, was going around, grabbing all the mannequins' breasts whilst his mum was trying on clothes. I guess it was technically harmless, but still kind of creepy. Then his mother saw him. She hauled him into the bathroom for a blistering lecture the whole store heard, and then he had to apologize to the manager for being "rude and disrespectful and inappropriate." I gave her the employee discount for her clothes.
Load More Replies... We were sitting in a kind of window alcove with juuuuuuust enough room that the small kids figured they could run around our table. As one came running up, I stuck my leg out, bracing it against the wall and said in a very quiet steely voice learned from my mother, "Do. Not." Kid paused, tried a step forward... I snapped my fingers like I would to a puppy and repeated quietly with firm eye contact (again - like with a puppy), "Do not...." And we were left along for the rest of the meal.
To this day I remember being in a similar situation almost 40 years ago, with my parents at a pizza place. My father, who was generally soft spoken ROARED"Control. Your. Children!" At least then the parents had the Decency to be embarrassed.
I have two kids. I would never and have never let them run around in a restaurant. Even when they were tiny and in high chairs if they made noise I took them outside until they quietened down. I mostly ate just a few mouthfuls of my own food because my main job was seeing to the kids and making sure they didn't disturb other people and create a mess. When we left the restaurant I would tidy up dropped food so it wasn't left to the staff. I just cannot understand the gall and audacity of "parents" who have no regard for other people in this way. These parents are the reason so many child free people are hostile to kids being in public and they make me burn with rage.
Exactly! You do your job properly. But OP's kids are why people are actually calling for child-free restaurants, which just punishes other parents - and children. EDIT: clarification.
Load More Replies... I'm neurodivergent and do NOT like being touched by people I don't know. So, I would have likely flailed and probably screamed like a five year old girl. Not only would that hurt that kid, as I am very strong when in fight or flight mode, and being startled like that will trigger it. I try to stay as aware of my surroundings at all times to avoid this, but sometimes, you're exhausted from a long day/week/month, etc, and you can't devote that much energy to curb that reaction. And there are a lot of people with this reaction out there, not just a 47 year old woman with ASD. It's people with other sensory issues, dermal conditions, PTSD...it doesn't matter. Teach your children some damned respect and boundaries. I would have been given THE LOOK, ONCE, as a courtesy of I even left my seat before I was taken to the car. Even my sister, who is "severely" Autistic doesn't behave like that in a restaurant, much to people's chagrin.
Children should sit at parents table not running around the servers could get hurt or hurt child they are carrying hot items. Child could have been snatched and never seen again except dead. Not kidding this is a dangerous world we live in now so keep your kids close.
To be fair, it has always been a dangerous world, although according to the actual data, we are currently living in the safest time in human history.
Load More Replies... Sorry, but definitely NTA. We made it a point to teach her public etiquette as reasonably early as possible to make sure our daughter didn't even pull a fraction of what these children were doing while in a restaurant. Sure she would hop between booth seats to either mommy's side or daddy's side to color or play a tablet game, but you best believe she didn't dare leave past the table unless to the potty or to leave. She's 5 now and we're still able to go to dine in without being "that" family. Why is it so difficult for a lot of these parents with out of control kids to try and even make the effort, but then become crooked when someone does it for them?
I think it's because they romanticized having children, but when it actually happened, and they found out the hard work and sacrificed involved, they take the laziest way out, which is tolerating the behavior, and allowing others to cope.
Load More Replies... oh my god I would've actually screamed so loud if this happened to me. not only have I been sexually assaulted in a very similar way (being grabbed and groped by someone I couldn't see and was never able to identify) but I also have severe chronic pain in my legs. how hard is it for a parent to teach "keep your hands to yourself"? I'd already gotten that rule down by the time I was in kindergarten
Bring kids to restaurant, bring QUIET things to entertain them. Too much energy, have a picnic at a playground!!
And don't bring noisy tablets or video games that are going to irritate other customers.
Load More Replies... While I agree with the comments saying there is not need to yell at the kid, sometimes, it can't be helped. It's a knee jerk reaction when suddenly you are being touched by someone and you weren't expecting it. NTA for the OP but definitely the table of adults are AHs for letting their kids run around. My answer to her "he was only playing" would be "this is not a playground.
I am now 78. Decades ago when my parents were alive, I would take them to brunch on Sundays. Unfortunately in some instances a place where we might go had families. It seems there always have been those PRIVILEDGED parents that would unlock there zoo and bring their children with them. Once there was a booth near us where a couple had two under 6 kids running around. Everyone seemed a little upset by this but the parents said and did nothing . At one point one of the kids came up to our table and started being obnoxious.. I stared at the parents and said, "This is how you raise your children?" The tables around us applauded. Needless to say, the parents were embarrassed, but I don't think it changed them. One made a comment that that's what happens when you dine with OLD PEOPLE !
"with old people" whatever absolves them of their repugnant behavior. I'm not even thirty and my mom would have bent me over in front of everyone if I dared act like that.
Load More Replies... This is an example of “it takes a village to raise a kid.” The parents are lacking so OP has to make up for it
Except when the village steps in the harpy screeches "don't parent my kid"
Load More Replies... At what point did it become okay for children to run amok in a business? If they can't sit and eat with you, then leave them at home. ONLY exceptions are places FOR children to run around.
My mother's father passed down a parenting philosophy, which she passed to me, and I to my daughters: I love my children and I want others to love them but that's not likely to happen if they're brats (paraphrasing the second half). Bringing up individuals who are enjoyable to be around is better for everyone and eliminates this kind of aggravating , unnecessary, dangerous, inconsiderate nuisance. OP NTA. All slack a*s parents in that group totally AH. Group's kids, probably future AH
Sounds like the brat's egg donor was too busy getting wine-drunk to keep him under control.
Why do you only blame the mother? The father is just as much to blame for letting the kid run amok instead of correcting the behavior.
Load More Replies... Definitely NTA. If people can't or don't want to control their hellspawn, they should stay at home.
NTA. Mommy Dearest needs to act like a PARENT and supervise her kids. That's a public restaurant, not an activity center. The staff are paid to prepare and serve food, not babysit. That goes triple for the other guests. No one deserves to be tortured by undisciplined children running around. All it takes is for one kid to interfere with a server, and several people can get injured by broken glasses and extremely hot food. (The parent would most likely sue the restaurant and collect a small fortune, effectively closing the establishment.) Also, with very little effort, some pedophile or trafficker disguised as a customer could easily lure a child out of his parent's view, clap a hand over his mouth, and leave without a trace. There are also adults with anger issues who cannot stand children. Not. At. All. Parents: WATCH YOUR KIDS!!
I would have said much more. Whoever you think you are and you are not good at it try being a parent and get control of your little brats before they get hurt or continue being a moron without the skills of being a parent and shut the &@#$ up. entitlement my a*s.
Definitely NTA. If I'm being annoyed by some kid playing under my table in a restaurant and their parent is ignoring it I going to yell also!
I would have guven the kid the seath stare and a low go back to your table growl. So how is that different. I would have gone to the patents table and gave them the shout maybe even a deminstration of what their kods look like running around. Hey young at heart and all that.
Soooooo nooooot TA, parents need to get a grip. I would have kicked all of them out. And if they went at me on SM I would.have ripped them to pieces. Just dont for all the reasons of common sense.
NTA. Honestly loud running around kids like that unsupervised like that are very annoying to me. Especially the noise. It's a big reason why when I go out to eat I try to find a table not near any screaming children. But then I don't like kids at all so that's also part of it.
I worked in restaurants for years and we would get after parents who let their kids behave like this. It is super dangerous. If the parents wouldn't comply and control the kids we would throw them out. Better to lose a couple of customers than to have an injury or insurance claim. And I have scolded children and parents running around in a restaurant myself since leaving the business. I don't care what others think of me and the restaurant staff always backs me up so those of you thinking the OP was in the wrong for snapping at the child I think you suck. They have every right to react to having their space invaded and people need to learn how to be parents or not have children. If you can't control your kids in public spaces leave them at home with a sitter!
People who let their kids run around the restaurant like wild animals should be tossed out on their keisters by the owner/manager. That's just not cool. A restaurant is not a playground.
She's lucky it wasn't my leg her kid grabbed. I likely would have automatically kicked at the thing grabbing my leg.
Been in a restaurant when the kid came up and grabbed my steak off the plate and walked off chewing it... The parent didn't see a problem with that, and told me to shut up and stop swearing when i went whiskey tango foxtrot for quite obvious reasons. I got a new steak, and they got thrown out, but not after police was called to remove them.... Some parents has absolutely no limits or inhibitions...
NTA, My husband and I were at a local restaurant where a large party was sitting nearby and had small kids that were running around making our dinner out quite unenjoyable. I'd had enough and snapped. I stood up and loudly asked "who belongs to this?" pointing at a child that had been running by our table all night. One woman looks up and I continued "keep it under control, we did not come out tonight to spend our hard earned money on a dinner to have it ruined because you can't keep control of this" once again pointing to the child. The mother told her kid to come back to the table and the rest of them finally got there kids under control. I received many thank you's from the staff and other customers. We don't have kids but if we did you can bet they would know how to behave in a restaurant or they would be at home with a sitter, not annoying the other customers because they are brats.
For those who think ESH, especially the diner who yelled at the child, try this exercise: Go to a restaurant, preferably a fine dining one, and act normal (sitting down, ordering and enjoying a meal). Then, wait when a group of adults and small kids comes in, sits down and orders their food, then all chaos breaks out as the kids start running around. You're enjoying your meal quietly when, suddenly, you feel a small hand on you, or a bump on your legs, and you look down and see a child looking up at you. How would YOU have reacted IN THAT MOMENT??? Most likely, you would've reacted the same way in the shock of the moment, and mom should be ashamed of herself for using profanity in front of her kid and within others' hearing!
I was at a buffet this past weekend and a child was self serving (no adult) from the dessert bar. He licked one serving spoon, the proceeded to another dessert and cleaned off the serving spoon with his fingers. My friend announced in a loud voice “Who is with this child?” , he left the bar, face crumpling in tears. His minders said “Never mind about those old women, you’re a good boy.” Why I seldom go in public. If I,d heard that, I’d offer to spit in their food to return the favor.
Though I don't normally advocate yelling at kids, I understand this one. With overly permissive parents, children often need something shocking to happen for them to learn appropriate behaviour. The child learned a lesson they sorely needed to learn. Running round in restaurants is a safety hazard. What if a server trips on you? And touching strangers is a really, really bad idea. That stranger could be a pervert. I'm sure the kid felt like c**p in the moment, but it's the parents' fault for not teaching their children manners and boundaries. The OP has every right to defend their personal space, even from a child.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves - parents who don't know how to handle their kids (and by the time the kid is age 4, you should know how to handle your kid and make them behave in public, whether it's your 1st kid or your 10th). I have a relative whose kids were allowed to do *exactly* what is described in this post: run around in restaurants, shrieking like banshees, even taking food from other diners' plates. After the first time, I spoke to my relative about it & suggested the kids should be made to behave, or stay home with a sitter. Relative agreed, was embarrassed about their behavior, and said it wouldn't happen again. Second outing with them, same thing - kids running wild, parents not controlling them. That was our last outing with them & their kids. I was conveniently "busy" after that whenever I was invited.
It's such lazy parenting. This mother should take a moment and observe that not all children behave that way and then ask herself why that is.
They are lucky the kid only got yelled at, have problems and I'm unable to stop myself when I'm upset at kids like this, I have to be watched closely because I can strike at them, I love the kid but if I don't know them and they touch me without asking or start screaming, I will end up hurting them if my partner or family doest hold me, {some mental problem, I'm sorry, I don't want to abuse kids or hurt them, I like blackout and just attack and need to be grabbed with they scream or touch me, so I don't go near them mostly}
I hope you getting help for that problem. It does sound like keeping away from them is a good strategy but it isn't always possible.
Load More Replies... Keep your little shits out of restaurants. It's not a good place for them to be.
His initital reaction was quite harsh, but the parents are total a******s for letting their kids run around like that. A restaurant is not a daycare and they made it unpleasant for the restaurant staff and other guests. If i was the restaurant owner, i‘d let them know the kids can run around at home.
And so what if it was harsh, he's not their parent. If you don't want your child to get yelled at by a random stranger then watch your kid. There are all kinds of ppl out there, there's such a thing as stranger danger! That kid will probably think twice about doing that again and maybe avoid some pervert since the parents obviously aren't paying attention....what if that kid crawled under the table of some freak?!
Load More Replies... I disagree with the idea that you need to handle them with white gloves to avoid upsetting them. If that encounter makes them afraid of invading the personal space of strangers, the GOOD; they should be afraid of crawling around a stranger's legs. There are much worse consequences for being so trusting of people you don't know. If the mom doesn't like it, fine: she can try actually being a parent and enforce reasonable boundaries on her kids' behavior so strangers aren't forced to parent them for her.
People like this is the reason why some restaurants don't allow children at all and many others as well as patrons frown when you walk in with a child regardless how well behaved. Mine knew when we ate it was time to be quiet and sit still, whether out or at home. They knew when it was playtime and when it wasn't.
My parents taught us acceptable behavior and etiquette in a given context. We could listen to music or play video games on long car rides, but the electronics went away when we arrived and we're expected to engage on a social setting. We were taught table manners, and were not allowed to leave the table until we finished our meals and politely asked if we could be excused. And, no, this training started at age 2 with how to behave in places like grocery stores and by age 4 we were expected to know how to speak in a respectable fashion when we were addressed. If we misbehaved in public, whatever we were doing, be it going to Disneyland or the grocery store, was instantly cancelled. And it was made clear to us that our inability to control our behavior was why there was no food in the kitchen. Such consequences are no fun for the parent either, and this is why so many parents just try to ignore the kid's meltdown and get on with the day, making it everyone else's problem instead.
One commenter wrote "ESH. Adults losing their temper, yelling. And everyone is surprised kids aren't behaving?" I'd say that's asśbackward thinking. That child got yelled at by a stranger, which for a child can be shocking, because the parents did nothing. There is now an excellent chance that child will think twice before bothering strangers in public. If you calmly talk to a child about a serious "no no" they may decide the consequences are not harsh enough to not do it again. I would never condone violence but go ahead and yell if the parents don't know how to control THEIR children.
If the parents aren't watching their kids and keeping them from disturbing other patrons, they are setting up the kids to be yelled at. Restaurants are not parks. Time to teach your kids how to behave in public places. It's not hard and not cruel.
It's the same with any shop or Cafe. Your kids your responsibility. I will tell off kids who are jumping on furniture, running around, crawling under racks. If the parent or care giver doesn't like it then teach your kids that it is wrong to run amuck in a shop or eatery, leave your kids in the car or with someone. They should try and make it to the shop while the child is at daycare or school if possible. We have elderly people moving around our shop and we're sometimes moving furniture or heavy bags around, so we don't want to trip over a child or have one run into us. Keep your kids under control. Please.
Nta. Children should not under any circumstances be running around a restaurant. It's not a jungle gym so don't act surprised when someone yells at your children for not respecting another persons bounders. Not everyone is going to tolerate their demon spawn.
And then there's me. I pick up the kid, carry it to the front counter and report a lost child, then let the staff handle it.
And then there's me. I don't speak to the kid. I pick up the kid and carry it to the front counter and tell them it's lost and letting the staff handle it from there.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I drop my glass of water on your head when you startled me?" More than one unsupervised toddler has "accidently" tripped over my foot when running past my dinner table. I had a Mom come over and start yelling at me when her kid fell down (he was totally NOT hurt). So I started yelling back that "maybe if you got your fat a*s off your phone for 5 minutes, you could actually SUPERVISE your unruly little brat and act like a f*cking parent". I can seem really big and scary when I want to, so she backed right down. Judging from the looks on other people's faces (including waitstaff) they totally wanted to applaud. She took the kid and left.
IMPRETTYI: NTA- Did anyone ever think about the times we are living in when children are abducted? The parents clearly wasn't watching the child and there are predators waiting to make a move at any point in time. Children are kidnapped from there moms in grocery stores and parks all the time. The parents were too busy having a good time of their own drinking wine to not notice a missing child from the table. They are the a**ho**s.
I think most of the people saying he is wrong for yelling at the kid are probably parents who allow their kids to run around in restaurants. I hate to say it but one of my daughters was like that, my husband and I would be mortified to go out to eat with them and if we said anything we would get our heads bit off. We would suggest getting take out to eat st home to try to avoid that.
Typical entitled parents. They don't give a s**t as long as their kids are not annoying them. These people think the restaurant is a kindergarten / playground. I've often spoken loudly to kids making a pest of themselves just to aggravate the parents and to see what action they will take, if any.
NTA Why on earth would parents let their kids run around in stores/restaurants? Do they not understand it is not safe? These idiots do not know who is sitting a couple of tables over. I always remember a classic phrase from parents when their child turns up missing or worse, "I had just saw her/him. He/she was playing right over there..." Yeah, sure...you're keeping track of your kid(s). Children should not only be kept an actual eye on, but teach them not to touch others. Kids are messy & may even have "the sniffles" to pass on to others. NO THANK YOU!! My hubby & I never had kids. 1 big reason? We saw parents NOT RAISING & TEACHING their offspring. Just let them run round like wild animals. No thank you! Our kids would have behaved & had consequences for acting up. And a 4 year old is definitely old enough to know to stay with her family/group IF PARENT(S) would've taught her!!!
That should teach that kid a lesson his mother apparently don't teach
NTA. Parents who allow their kids to misbehave in public have no right to indignation when someone else corrects them. If you don't want a stranger talking to your kid, don't let the kid near him. It AMAZES me how many lazy parents allow their offspring to do whatever they want, ruining everyone else's time. If you can't control them, hire a flipping babysitter!
First off for you ESH people the op said she lashed out without thinking AFTER Putting up with bad behavior leading to unwanted touching you folks have screwed up priorities. As for the parents of the kids were they paying for everyone in the restaurants meals? If not they had no right to invade any of the other tables and the staff at the pizza parlor were not paid to babysit. I wonder how the group would have reacted if someone got up and joined them at their table and interrupted their meal? Parents that let their children run wild in any public place are AH and have no respect for other people's rights but expect everyone else to respect theirs.
NTA. But the situation might have been handled better. I would have asked the kid to get out from under the table. Maybe "tenderly escorted" (bwahahaha) the kid back to his parents. Then found a manager. But this is not a new problem. I'm almost 70 and I've seen this all my life. This is why I hate family restaurants and public buffets. I've seen far too many wild kids run around a buffet station, grab something with their hands, from a pan, and throw it back. OR grab it, take a taste and throw it back. Then run around tripping up adults. And where are the parents? No where to be seen. Nope, not for me.
The question I ask is what if OP had reached under the the table and touched a child? The whole conversation would be different. We teach our kids to never talk to strangers, or go with a stranger but we're affronted when s child whose parent allows them to wrong amok all over strangers! Yes yelling was a no no but maybe the child learned never touch grown ups they don't know!
Nta. If only the kids parents had the common sense to do what a complete stranger knew to do.
Honest to god, if you're a parent and say you're stressed out ..having a hard time being empathetic. Parents need to teach their kids how to behave in public spaces. If not, you're going to have incidents where the kid gets hurt, taken, or killed. She should be thankful yelling is the only thing he did instead of kick him in the fact. Teach your kids before someone elses do the job for you. Learn how to deal woth your stress or don't go out. You made the choice to have kids, research what that entails before having them! It is on no one, BUT YOU, to handle. Kids can be and usually are stressful. This shouldn't be rocket science.
If parents want there kids to run around take them to a place that has a play stop for the young ones. Why should someone else's kids ruin my time out with the shouting and screaming
One time I had to take my 2 year old to a mandatory work meeting. It was common to do this and other employees would allow their children to run around the room. I didn't and work make sure that I was with my child and didn't expect her to be watched by my coworkers. I was later informed that I was a distraction and children were banned from the meetings.
Edit: Just saw much of what I wrote has already been noted. The child getting scolded by anyone could help keep them safe! Restaurants have very hot foods and beverages being brought by fast moving servers. One kid darting underfoot could be badly burned. Shards of broken dishes and glasses, dropped knives are under tables even after careful cleaning. Kids need to stay seated or be taken outside to let off steam or be left with a caregiver.
I travel a lot and I see this sort of thing at airports all the time. I have kids but it is not my job to entertain yours. Keep them away from me. I especially like when I look up at the parent this rug rat belongs to and I just get the "isn't he precious" smile. Maybe to you but to me he's just an irritating, disease spreading, little s&$@.
Keep ur friggin bebe'z kidz with u at ur own table. This isnt a playground!!! We don't want ur Kidz coming over touching us with their lil dirty snot ground floor trash with saliva. Let's keep it real. Major fail. We want to enjoy a nice comfortable meal and conversation from a stressful day. Now we can't even do that cuz friggin ghetto bebe'z kidz with their trashy parents think they're in a park playground? Unreal. Keep ur own kids, stop trying to get free babysitter's from all of us. It's not our kid. Do ur job. Ur own motherhood job. Watch ur own dam kids lazy azzes
NTA, but shouldn't ahve yelled at the kid like that. The parents do need to teach their kids how to behave in public.
It might just have been a shock reaction though. Would you stay calm and polite if something suddenly touched your leg under the table?!
Load More Replies... OP said the kids were 4 - 8 years old. That's not toddler age. They're old enough to know and do better, and if the parents won't parent, they're going to be treated harshly in the real world until they learn not to be such brats.
Load More Replies... I love kids, I taught kindergarten for 10 years, and I know how to communicate with them... But an unexpected touch under the table? That's a guaranteed shout moment.
Load More Replies... Found another entitled parent! 🚨🚨🚨 #sorrynotsorry but if kids misbehave towards total strangers because you are a bad parent and letting them run around doing as they please, they are bound to get yelled at, and the yelling is no one's fault but yours. You don't want your kids getting yelled at, control their behavior.
Load More Replies... I just found another entitled parent, boblawblaslawnlog.
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