Dad Raises Three Kids Alone, Rejects Ex-Wife’s Pleas To Help Raise Her Affair Child

Many people imagine their wedding day to be the beginning of their “happily ever after.” But the reality is that tying the knot doesn’t mean that a couple will truly stay together for the rest of their days. Life is complicated; relationships take work. And if one partner refuses to stay faithful, that’s a great way to tank a marriage.

One father recently reached out on Reddit seeking advice after his ex-wife began pressuring him to have a relationship with her youngest kid. The only problem is that the child was born out of an affair that she had while married. Below, you’ll find all of the details, as well as some of the replies concerned readers shared.

This man’s marriage ended years ago after he found out his wife was cheating

Couple arguing in a kitchen, focusing on issues of parental support and infidelity.

Image credits: DC_Studio / envato (not the actual photo)

But now, she’s pressuring him to have a relationship with the child that was born out of her affair

Text about a dad questioning refusal to support a child born from ex-wife's affair, not his biological child.

Text discussing shared custody, children's discovery of an affair, and the impact on family relationships.

Text block discussing a dad's refusal to support the child from his ex-wife's affair.

Text discussing a dad's refusal to support his ex's child from an affair, despite her bad decisions and financial struggles.

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Image credits: annann_9 / envato (not the actual photo)

Text describing a dad's dilemma about supporting a child from an affair.

Text from a dad discussing his refusal to support his ex's child from an affair in a written excerpt.

Text conversation showing ex's anger about the child from an affair and court threat.

Text discussing a dad's struggle with supporting an ex's affair child.

Image credits: Direct-Function6202

About one in ten married women will be unfaithful at some point

Nobody wants to imagine that their marriage will end in divorce. But unfortunately, that becomes a reality for about half of all marriages. And if it has to end, many of us would like to believe that it will be a mutual decision that both parties come to after realizing that it would be better for their relationship as friends or co-parents to be separated. But sadly, many marriages end up falling apart due to infidelity.

According to a report from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, between 10% to 15% of all married women and 20% to 25% of all married men will cheat at some point. 

As far as why this happens, unfaithful partners cite a variety of reasons. Sometimes it’s simply because an opportunity presented itself, while others are bored with their love life and are looking to spice things up. 

Some people find themselves involved in an emotional affair, and others may feel underappreciated in their marriage. It’s also common for people who had poor role models to imitate the behaviors they saw growing up.   

There’s no secret that infidelity comes with risks, as it can destroy relationships, cause people to contract diseases and/or infections and can sometimes even result in pregnancy. And while it’s not always impossible to repair a marriage after an affair, it becomes a lot more challenging when there’s a living, breathing reminder of the cheating present in the household.

“If finding out about your partner’s affair is one of the most devastating events in your life, discovering a child was or will be born of the affair comes a close second,” one woman who has found herself in that exact situation told Stuff. 

Infidelity can take a huge toll on a marriage, as well as any children that are involved

Man and woman having a serious conversation about supporting a child from her affair.

Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

But the mother understands that it’s not the child’s fault that they’re here. “They’re a little person with the same right as all of us to feel safe, loved and secure in the world they’ve innocently been brought into,” she continued.

The father who made this post doesn’t want to take out his frustration on an innocent child either. But he wants to protect himself and his children, who have also been affected by this affair.

In fact, The Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen notes on their site that being exposed to marital infidelity can significantly impact a child’s life. Seeing a parent have an affair can cause emotional trauma, create trust issues with others or with their parents, cause behavioral problems, create academic struggles, create relationship problems, cause self-esteem issues and sometimes even cause health problems.

Kids are young and impressionable, and being exposed to an affair can be confusing and extremely upsetting, especially if they always believed that their parents were in love. It’s understandable for the father who created this post to prioritize his children and their desires to distance themselves from their mother and her youngest child. 

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this father is doing the right thing by refusing to have a relationship with his ex-wife’s child? Feel free to weigh in. Then, you can find another Bored Panda article tackling similar issues right here.   

Many readers assured the father that he didn’t do anything wrong, and he chimed in to share more background information

Comment exchange about a dad's dilemma over supporting a child born from an affair, with legal and emotional advice shared.

Reddit comments discussing a dad's decision about supporting his ex's child from her affair.

Reddit discussion on a father's dilemma about supporting a child from his ex’s affair.

Reddit discussion about a dad refusing support for a child from his ex's affair.

Discussion about responsibility for child from partner's affair on Reddit thread.

The majority agreed that he has no obligations towards his ex-wife’s child

Reddit comment discussing responsibility of child support from affair.

A comment advising a dad on child support issues related to his ex-wife's affair.

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Comment discussing a dad's refusal to support child from ex's affair, noting implications of adopting the child.

Reddit comment discussing support for a child from an ex's affair, emphasizing responsibility for one's own kids.

Reddit comment discussing refusal to support child from ex's affair, emphasizing empathy for half sibling.

Comment discussing empathy for a child born from an affair, questioning parental responsibilities.

Reddit comment discussing a father's decision not to support a child from his ex's affair.

Comment supports dad's feelings on supporting ex's affair child.

Comment on dad not supporting child from ex's affair, suggesting actual father should be responsible.

Comment reads, "Not your circus, not your monkeys," related to dad's refusal on child support for affair child.

Text image discussing a dad refusing to support a child his ex had through an affair, emphasizing setting boundaries.

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However, others thought that the father could be a bit more empathetic

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