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Guy Shares His Reasoning Behind Refusing To Give A Pregnant Lady His Bus Seat, People Are Not Convinced

Guy Shares His Reasoning Behind Refusing To Give A Pregnant Lady His Bus Seat, People Are Not Convinced

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There are some things that most of us do without thinking because they seem like common sense. If you see someone struggling to carry their groceries or having a hard time crossing a busy street, you help them out. Someone falls down? You give them a helping hand and get them back on their feet.

So it only seems natural that when you see a pregnant woman on public transportation that you get up and offer her your seat. It’s the polite thing to do after all. Especially if she asks. Unfortunately, it seems like proper manners weren’t drilled into everyone.

One man took to the r/AITA subreddit to find out whether or not he was a jerk for refusing to give his seat to a “heavily pregnant lady” because he was exhausted from work. He didn’t get up even when she directly asked to have his seat. Check out the full story below.

A redditor shocked the internet with their story about why they refused to give up their bus seat to a pregnant woman

Image credits: Sharkshock (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: myfeetf**kinghurt

The Reddit community was almost unanimous: this guy was a huge jerk and he was clearly in the wrong. I mean, there’s no real way around it, the guy was so wrong, it actually hurt our inner moral compasses a bit. And as a guy with three siblings, I’m appalled.

But as much fun as it is to judge someone, don’t forget that being exhausted day-in and day-out shifts our judgment. What seems immoral to someone who’s well-rested might seem like no big deal for someone else who’s so tired, they can’t think straight. It’s not an excuse to act like a big [whoops, can’t use those words here] to other members of your local community, however.

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Being tired is no excuse to let your morals go

“I was tired and had a long day, and I don’t know why we need to keep perpetuating the idea that breeding somehow means your entitled to people’s seats. I’m tired, too, we’re all tired in this pandemic,” the redditor wrote in their story, showing his contempt for people who choose to have families.

What’s more, the redditor suggested that everyone’s exhausted during the pandemic and everyone deserves a break. True, but that’s what separates good people from the rest: the former go the extra mile to help others in need, the latter are content to be bystanders.

You might not get a gold medal, a standing ovation from the public, or a superhero’s cape for lending someone a hand, but you’ll be an actual everyday hero.

The situation was perfect for the redditor to help a person in need, as well as learn a lesson about how they can do the right thing even after a 10-hour shift at work on their feet. But they wasted the opportunity to prove that they’re better than they thought they were. Nobody’s forced to give up their seat for a pregnant woman, but it’s a sign that something’s probably off with your values if you choose not to.

So instead of leaving a good impression for everyone on the bus, the redditor drew their ire. What’s more, they got a good talking-to from their family members once they got back home.

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Giving up your seat isn’t just about being ‘nice’

There are plenty of reasons to give up your seat to a pregnant woman besides being an upright member of society who thinks about more than just themselves, however. The Alpha Parent writes that pregnant women can experience back pain, especially as they’re getting closer to delivery. The pain can reach the legs, so having a place to sit down is a godsend.

What’s more, standing still for longer periods of time (like during a ride on public transportation) can be dangerous. “When standing, a pregnant woman’s heart rate increases, cardiac output decreases, and blood pressure falls. When the woman then takes a sitting position, her heart rate, cardiac output, and blood pressure returned to normal.”

Furthermore, nausea, fatigue, weak joints, and the need to urinate frequently (an urge that increases while standing because gravity pulls the baby into the mother’s bladder) are all reasons why grabbing a seat on the bus is vital. And, in our humble opinions, these reasons trump someone’s physical exhaustion from 10-hour shifts.

It’s rare to see the internet so united. Like you could’ve expected, people were roiling with anger

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What do you think of the situation, dear Pandas? Do you think that the redditor was definitely in the wrong like most internet users did or would you give him a pass because he was tired from work? When’s the last time you gave up your seat to someone in need or helped a complete stranger? Let us know in the comments below.

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emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's unfair to single this guy out as the asshole when any person could have offered their seat. Why does it fall on the guys to be chivalrous in this kind of situation. You can't tell me that there wasn't one single non-pregnant woman that could have offered her seat too? And I understand about how much pain he was in..I've been there too where your feet hurt so bad that they start cramping up on you. Is he an a-hole...for bringing up how the pregnancy is not his fault...yeah. For not giving up his seat...I'm inclined to say he wasn't the only one on that bus.

bcgrote avatar
Brandy Grote
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was the closest to the door, apparently. He clearly said "but he can deal". He was tired, not disabled or injured or AT RISK OF FALLING.

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melissasawicki_1 avatar
MRSS
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok so I am on the fence with this so please just hear me out first. While myself personally I would have given up my seat for a pregnant woman as well as a elderly person and someone who is handicapped. I do understand this Mans thought as well. I work on my feet and have a physical job of lifting heavy car and truck parts and am at work 13hrs a day. I am fried and my feet and back kill. There were others on the bus who could have moved as well. Again, I would have moved regardless but don't pin it all on this Guy.

juli_june avatar
June
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He could have begin with "please could you ask someone else?" maybe?

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jamesfloyd avatar
JamezyJamez
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a great debate topic I can use with my students. I'm a teacher in Japan and I teach jr high and high school students English debate. In Japan we have designated seats for the elderly, disabled and pregnant. Those seats are rarely occupied by others unless the train car is relatively empty and such folks aren't needing them. There isn't a culture of men giving up something for women here, but a huge reverence for the elderly. I found myself conflicted after reading this; I wasn't ready to pounce on the tired dude after his shift, though the way he described the pregnant woman was callous and undermined his argument. In any case, this would be an interesting case study to bring to my students. A learning experience is better than trading barbs online.

meghanhibicke avatar
Evil Little Thing
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the US we have those seats too, and the fact that she was asking this one dude to get up instead of anyone else suggests that he was sitting there.

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emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's unfair to single this guy out as the asshole when any person could have offered their seat. Why does it fall on the guys to be chivalrous in this kind of situation. You can't tell me that there wasn't one single non-pregnant woman that could have offered her seat too? And I understand about how much pain he was in..I've been there too where your feet hurt so bad that they start cramping up on you. Is he an a-hole...for bringing up how the pregnancy is not his fault...yeah. For not giving up his seat...I'm inclined to say he wasn't the only one on that bus.

bcgrote avatar
Brandy Grote
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was the closest to the door, apparently. He clearly said "but he can deal". He was tired, not disabled or injured or AT RISK OF FALLING.

Load More Replies...
melissasawicki_1 avatar
MRSS
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok so I am on the fence with this so please just hear me out first. While myself personally I would have given up my seat for a pregnant woman as well as a elderly person and someone who is handicapped. I do understand this Mans thought as well. I work on my feet and have a physical job of lifting heavy car and truck parts and am at work 13hrs a day. I am fried and my feet and back kill. There were others on the bus who could have moved as well. Again, I would have moved regardless but don't pin it all on this Guy.

juli_june avatar
June
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He could have begin with "please could you ask someone else?" maybe?

Load More Replies...
jamesfloyd avatar
JamezyJamez
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a great debate topic I can use with my students. I'm a teacher in Japan and I teach jr high and high school students English debate. In Japan we have designated seats for the elderly, disabled and pregnant. Those seats are rarely occupied by others unless the train car is relatively empty and such folks aren't needing them. There isn't a culture of men giving up something for women here, but a huge reverence for the elderly. I found myself conflicted after reading this; I wasn't ready to pounce on the tired dude after his shift, though the way he described the pregnant woman was callous and undermined his argument. In any case, this would be an interesting case study to bring to my students. A learning experience is better than trading barbs online.

meghanhibicke avatar
Evil Little Thing
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the US we have those seats too, and the fact that she was asking this one dude to get up instead of anyone else suggests that he was sitting there.

Load More Replies...
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