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“AITA For Telling My Wife We Can Adopt Her Nephews But Not Her Niece?”: Family Chaos Erupts Over Troubled Kids
Couple in a tense discussion on a couch, illustrating family chaos over adoption of troubled kids.

“AITA For Telling My Wife We Can Adopt Her Nephews But Not Her Niece?”: Family Chaos Erupts Over Troubled Kids

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Having kids can be tough. It’s a full-time job that parents never get a break from. So, regardless of how rewarding it may be, it’s crucial for adults to weigh all the pros and cons before deciding to start a family.

This couple, however, didn’t have much time to think when they were suddenly asked if they could take in two of their nephews and their niece. Below, you’ll find the full story that the husband shared on Reddit in search of advice, as well as some of the replies that invested readers left him.

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    Being a parent is hard enough when you feel completely prepared for it

    Woman in an orange prison jumpsuit sitting on a bed, holding her head, illustrating family chaos over troubled kids.

    Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

    But it can be much more complicated when this responsibility appears out of nowhere

    Text excerpt about family adoption debate involving nephews and niece amid family chaos and troubled kids situation.

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    Text excerpt discussing conditions for adopting nephews but not niece, focusing on family adoption responsibilities and decisions.

    Text explaining family chaos over adopting nephews but not niece due to troubled kids and behavioral issues.

    Text excerpt about family conflict involving troubled kids and adoption disputes between nephews and niece.

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    Couple having a serious conversation on couch, illustrating family chaos over adopting nephews but not niece.

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    Image credits: jm_video (not the actual photo)

    Text excerpt about family chaos and arguments over adopting nephews but not niece, highlighting troubled kids and adoption issues.

    Text excerpt discussing hesitation to adopt niece over nephews due to lifestyle concerns in family adoption debate.

    The author shared a few more details in an effort to help people understand where he is coming from

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    Text update about family situation involving adoption of nephews but not niece, highlighting family chaos over troubled kids.

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    Text passage about discussing adoption of troubled kids and family chaos over nephews and niece.

    Text excerpt about family chaos involving adoption decisions for troubled kids, focusing on nephews and niece conflict.

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    Two children tugging a teddy bear, illustrating family chaos and adoption issues involving nephews and niece.

    Image credits: 100 files (not the actual photo)

    Text about family chaos over adopting nephews but not niece, highlighting disagreements on adoption choices in troubled kids situation.

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    Text excerpt discussing challenges and family chaos over adopting troubled kids including nephews and niece.

    Image credits: Own_Antelope3340

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    A family in a serious discussion around a table, reflecting tension over adopting nephews versus niece.

    Image credits: Monstera Production (not the actual photo)

    The fact of the matter is that taking care of a teenager is hard even when you have had parenting experience. They can be a lot because they are going through a lot at that age. Pair that with a troubled childhood and you know you’ll have quite a few things to deal with.

    The circumstances in this situation make it even worse. The potential parents have no prior experience, the teen has already picked up bad habits, and, on top of it all, there would be two minors there to care for as well. That is a lot of responsibility to take on, especially when it’s thrust upon you and you seem to have no choice.

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    Dealing with something like that will require a lot of love and understanding. Having that much space in your heart for someone is very demanding.

    Two women smiling and preparing dough together in a kitchen, illustrating family chaos involving troubled kids adoption debates.

    Image credits: Elina Fairytale (not the actual photo)

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    Of course, parenting a troubled teen is not impossible. It is not like they are evil or will try to ruin your life on purpose. They too can be kind and understanding and even helpful around the house. Their bad behavior is usually rooted in the fact that they crave love and try to get it wherever they can. If you are ready to give it to them, you might be rewarded with many joyful moments together.

    Still, building that trust will require a lot of grace and patience, and not everyone is capable of giving away so much. The author of this story seems to already be doubtful about taking on a teen, so that doesn’t bode well for their future together.

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    All in all, the situation is very complicated and should probably be handled with some help from professionals, such as social workers and therapists. They will be able to give the couple sound advice that will take into consideration all the nuances of the situation.

    Many saw the man’s point of view and showed understanding, even offering their personal experiences to prove that he might be right

    Comment from social worker explains challenges and legal realities of adopting troubled kids in family chaos situations.

    Text discussing family chaos and challenges involved in adopting troubled kids, focusing on adoption of nephews versus niece.

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    Text advice about adoption boundaries, trauma-informed parenting, and challenges of adopting troubled kids in family chaos.

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    Reddit comment discussing family chaos and challenges of adopting troubled kids, focusing on nephews and niece.

    Comment on family chaos over adopting troubled kids, expressing concerns about caring for a gang-affiliated teenager.

    Reddit discussion about family chaos over adopting nephews but not niece with troubled kids and adoption challenges.

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    Reddit user shares opinion on adopting nephews but not niece, highlighting family chaos over troubled kids and personal boundaries.

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    Commenter explains challenges of adopting troubled kids and the family chaos over choosing which nephews or niece to adopt.

    Reddit comment explaining challenges in adopting troubled kids sparks family chaos over niece and nephews adoption debate.

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    Reddit comment discussing challenges of adopting nephews but not niece amid family chaos over troubled kids.

    Reddit user sharing a personal story about family chaos and adoption challenges involving troubled kids and nieces versus nephews.

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    Others were convinced that he is behaving like a jerk

    Screenshot of a Reddit discussion about adopting nephews but not niece amid family chaos involving troubled kids.

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    Reddit comment criticizing adoption plan, highlighting family chaos over adopting troubled kids and favoring nephews over niece.

    Reddit comment discussing family chaos over adopting nephews but not niece amid troubled kids debate.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment in a family chaos thread discussing adoption of nephews but not niece.

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    Comment discussing adoption challenges of wife’s nephews and niece amid family chaos over troubled kids.

    Reddit comment discussing family chaos over adopting troubled nephews but not the niece, highlighting concerns about environment influence.

    Comment discussing family chaos over adopting troubled kids, focusing on support and challenges with nephews and niece.

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    Reddit comment about family chaos over adopting troubled kids, expressing strong disapproval of harsh words toward a child.

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    Adelaide May Ross

    Adelaide May Ross

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about three years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

    Read less »
    Adelaide May Ross

    Adelaide May Ross

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about three years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

    What do you think ?
    Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The yta folks are once again welcome to take on the responsibility and cost then

    Papa
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The first one was especially delusional. Saying that OP was willing to take in the younger ones because they're boys but not the older because she's a girl was a big assumption, and I didn't see anything in what OP said to make me think it has any validity.

    Load More Replies...
    moggiemoo
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No way I'd take these kids. Under any circumstances. If my wife brought them in against my wishes she'd become a single parent.

    LongFang
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly. His wife volunteered without consulting him AND forcing ALL 3, vetoing his decision. Time for a divorce !

    Load More Replies...
    Doodles1983
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He left and signed the house over to now ex. Last he heard the 14yo had cleared the house of anything valuable and her family threaten him with violence. Bullet dodged.

    Load More Comments
    Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The yta folks are once again welcome to take on the responsibility and cost then

    Papa
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The first one was especially delusional. Saying that OP was willing to take in the younger ones because they're boys but not the older because she's a girl was a big assumption, and I didn't see anything in what OP said to make me think it has any validity.

    Load More Replies...
    moggiemoo
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No way I'd take these kids. Under any circumstances. If my wife brought them in against my wishes she'd become a single parent.

    LongFang
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly. His wife volunteered without consulting him AND forcing ALL 3, vetoing his decision. Time for a divorce !

    Load More Replies...
    Doodles1983
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He left and signed the house over to now ex. Last he heard the 14yo had cleared the house of anything valuable and her family threaten him with violence. Bullet dodged.

    Load More Comments
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