Rich Man Doesn’t Realize His GF Can’t Afford His Lavish Lifestyle And Skipped Meals On Vacation, Asks If He’s Wrong
Dear Pandas, it sometimes physically hurts reading some of the stories posted on the AITA subreddit. While plenty of people wondering whether or not they did the right thing end up being exonerated by their fellow redditors, sometimes we get stories like the one you’re about to read. Stories that make you lose your faith in humanity and wonder how thick, ignorant, and lacking in empathy some people can be.
Case in point, a very well-off redditor, who has since deleted their account after the massive backlash he received, shared a tale about how he and his girlfriend went on an expensive vacation abroad with his family. The thing to keep in mind is that the guy earns more than three times what his partner does and comes from a very well-off family. Meanwhile, his girlfriend had to get a second job for several months to even afford to go on the expensive vacation. And even then she couldn’t afford to go on all the outings or to even eat three square meals a day.
Let us know what you think of the situation, dear Pandas, and be sure to check out Bored Panda’s interview about the proper way to react to situations that make you defensive in a relationship. Spoiler warning: the answer definitely isn’t to avoid taking responsibility for the role you played in what happened.
A very defensive guy from an affluent family enraged the internet with his tale about how his girlfriend went hungry while on vacation
Image credits: David Vives (not the actual photo)
Image credits: reddit
The backlash against the redditor was immense. So much so that they ended up deleting their account and nearly everyone on the AITA community was against the man. In short, at the core of everything lies the fact that the rich dude had all the information available to him—how much his girlfriend makes, what the activities were going to be—and he still managed to remain oblivious to his partner’s struggles.
It’s pretty safe to say that the relationship is on the edge of a knife, teetering on the brink, and it all comes down to the man’s stubbornly defensive approach that he supposedly didn’t do anything wrong because they “agreed” to split the costs 50/50. This sort of defensiveness, among other things, is toxic to a relationship.
Relationship coach Alex Scot highlighted to Bored Panda that the solution to being overly defensive is acknowledging the role that you played in everything. “The antidote for defensiveness is to take responsibility for your part,” she said.
“We’ve all heard the saying, ‘It takes two to tango,’ and when it comes to conflict arising within a relationship, that phrase still rings true. When we can take ownership of the part we contributed to a problem, our partner feels heard and understood which allows the discussion for a solution to take place. Without it, tensions rise, talking becomes yelling, and conflicts are left unresolved only to reappear once again,” the relationship expert told Bored Panda.
Here’s what some redditors had to say about the entire situation. There wasn’t much sympathy for the guy
I’m speechless, what a d**k. He could hear her stomach rumbling and yet he let her to be hungry.
Left her to be hungry and left her alone while they were out having a great time. What a literal twat he is.
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Him and his whole bloody family rubbed their money in her face without considering that she simply doesn't have the money to spend like that. I would be so ashamed of my family if I was him (and of myself). Either you plan for the lower budget or you pay the gap when you insist on luxurious trips.
I bet he and his family are the kind of well-off where they have been living this way for so long that they've genuinely forgotten that most people can't afford this kind of lifestyle. I'm not saying that excuses their behavior, though. I just think they weren't trying to rub anything in her face; I think they just genuinely were that privileged and ignorant that it never even occurred to them that someone who only made $45k a year and had to take on a second job to even be able to go was someone who was not going to be able to afford what they could. I just think of Lucille Bluth in Arrested Development, "It's one banana, Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars?" And the son is the worst of all because they were together for TWO YEARS, and it never occurred to him that it is wildly unfair to split things 50/50 when his girlfriend makes a third of what he does. In the whole two years. They're privileged to the point of being stupid.
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What a complete bell end! The poor woman needs to find a better boyfriend. 50-50 works if both earn the same. If one partner earns considerably less, proportion might work better.
Exactly. Its not about equality its about equity. If one of them makes much more the balance should be 80-20 or 60-40 or whatever needs to be. I always felt terrible for not being able to pay 50-50 but I needed to learn that this is not how a good relation works. If I am doing minimum wage jobs (or I cant work due to illness like now) and my partner has a well paid job he needs to pay more. Its just the fair thing to do. It would be the same if the roles were reversed
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I’m speechless, what a d**k. He could hear her stomach rumbling and yet he let her to be hungry.
Left her to be hungry and left her alone while they were out having a great time. What a literal twat he is.
Load More Replies... Him and his whole bloody family rubbed their money in her face without considering that she simply doesn't have the money to spend like that. I would be so ashamed of my family if I was him (and of myself). Either you plan for the lower budget or you pay the gap when you insist on luxurious trips.
I bet he and his family are the kind of well-off where they have been living this way for so long that they've genuinely forgotten that most people can't afford this kind of lifestyle. I'm not saying that excuses their behavior, though. I just think they weren't trying to rub anything in her face; I think they just genuinely were that privileged and ignorant that it never even occurred to them that someone who only made $45k a year and had to take on a second job to even be able to go was someone who was not going to be able to afford what they could. I just think of Lucille Bluth in Arrested Development, "It's one banana, Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars?" And the son is the worst of all because they were together for TWO YEARS, and it never occurred to him that it is wildly unfair to split things 50/50 when his girlfriend makes a third of what he does. In the whole two years. They're privileged to the point of being stupid.
Load More Replies... What a complete bell end! The poor woman needs to find a better boyfriend. 50-50 works if both earn the same. If one partner earns considerably less, proportion might work better.
Exactly. Its not about equality its about equity. If one of them makes much more the balance should be 80-20 or 60-40 or whatever needs to be. I always felt terrible for not being able to pay 50-50 but I needed to learn that this is not how a good relation works. If I am doing minimum wage jobs (or I cant work due to illness like now) and my partner has a well paid job he needs to pay more. Its just the fair thing to do. It would be the same if the roles were reversed
Load More Replies...
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