Man Wonders If He’s A Bad Guy For Telling His Wife That Wants To Be Appreciated To Stop Expecting It, As It’s Her Job To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom
Being a mother is a tremendously tough job. You carry the child for what seems like forever, going through all sorts of complications, while also knowing that you’ll eventually have to push out a watermelon-sized baby for god knows how many hours. Many don’t realize how challenging the process is because society views it as a completely ordinary thing that doesn’t require women to even lift a finger.
Most folks believe that being a stay-at-home mother is such an effortless activity that they don’t even compare it to a standard 9 to 5 job. Of course, why should they – you’re only doing everything to keep a human alive, cooking, cleaning the house and trying to keep up with a bunch of different chores.
A husband of a stay-at-home mother wondered if he was a number one jerk for not being so enthusiastic about appreciating his burned-out wife who takes care of their 2-year-old twins. The post received over 7k upvotes and 2K comments discussing his rather interesting perception of parenting.
More info: Reddit
Being a parent is a job and a half, especially when you’re looking after your 2-year-old twins
Image credits: Chris Ford (not the actual photo)
Some folks don’t realize that even if they’re not so affectionate themselves, other people might need those basic human emotions in order to feel like their best selves. It won’t hurt to occasionally remind your significant other that they’re loved and appreciated – especially when they’re a stay-at-home parent.
This man told his wife that she should stop expecting signs of appreciation, as it was her choice to become a stay-at-home mother
Image credits: Particular-Willow-17
This husband began his story by explaining that his beloved wife is a full-time mother that takes care of their 2-year-old twins. He then revealed that when they got married, it was decided that once they had children, his wife would become a stay-at-home mother, since they don’t have any relatives nearby.
Image credits: Particular-Willow-17
Moreover, his wife supported the idea as she wanted to be with her kids, enjoy the true beauty of motherhood and be there with the twins when they start to achieve their milestones.
The OP then reveals their financial status and says that he earns enough for his family to be comfortable. He makes sure that his wife has everything she needs and lets her spend the money freely, without setting any kinds of limits.
Image credits: Particular-Willow-17
The husband proceeds to share that his job is also fairly comfortable, as he works from home on a 7 to 5 schedule. He doesn’t have to leave the house, so as soon as he finishes, he goes to spend some time with the children, while his partner continues with the chores.
The author also mentions how his wife does an extremely great job at keeping the house together, and that he was absolutely convinced that she is fully satisfied with the arrangements, until she began to voice her concerns.
Image credits: Particular-Willow-17
The mother of the twins revealed that lately she’s been feeling like she’s being taken for granted, as the OP never shows any signs of appreciation. The woman told her husband that all she wants is for her partner to do something once in a while that will let her know that she is, in fact, loved. She even gave him an example and said that a simple chocolate bar will do.
Things led to an argument and the woman said that she works from 5 a.m to 9 p.m, 7 days a week and frankly feels like a servant due to her husband’s lack of emotional support. The man revealed that he understands that it’s a tough job, however, he never asks her to thank him for making money.
Image credits: Particular-Willow-17
Sadly, the OP doesn’t realize that his and his wife’s “schedules” are on opposite ends of the toughness scale, so he really just tells her to suck it up and continue doing her job.
Of course, working from your own home, having your wife dealing with every possible chore for 7 days straight while also taking care of 2 toddlers is an easy job compared to your busy timetable.
Image credits: Particular-Willow-17
The fellow online users had the pleasure of humbling the clueless author and explaining the very obvious. Parenthood will never be easy, especially if someone has to take a role of being a stay-at-home partner. This job is tougher than anything else, it burns you out emotionally and physically, which is why it’s crucial to have a very understanding partner right by your side.
Fellow Redditors unanimously agreed that the OP is in fact an a-hole
173Kviews
Share on Facebook
B/c I do not receive a paycheck, I am told I have no value to society. I cook, clean, caretake, and that's *aside* from the vlunteer medical work.... But since it's not paid, all that is "nothing". No social security value to everything done for years, b/c there isn't a taxable income. Yeah. Value and money are not the same thing.
We all get up and maintain something someway shape or form just existing. Not one of us can get out of maintaining ourselves, others, our home, or whatever. Even the laziest of people still get up and do something. This idea that we are not productive enough or just existing is bad if we don't get paid is just wrong. Existing is hard enough as it is yet folks seem to think it isn't that hard. We shouldn't have to prove anything to exist and eat and live in this world. We all have been made to believe enjoying ourselves and our time just being, is wrong. It isn't and I'm tired of the brainwashing and constant ridicule of just wanting to exist, relax, and enjoy myself with what time I do have left to live.
Load More Replies...
Try to look at the positive, she told you what her love language is, some people will keep you guessing. Set yourself up a little reminder on the phone until it becomes a habit. Would also suggest if you have things she could do in your love language, let her know.
It seems like the lesson has been received. It remains to be seen if it's been understood.
Load More Replies...
It also sounds like the wife is having to handle most of the day-to-day discipline in the household, while the husband just gets to come home and be the good guy. That alone can be exhausting. Some white collar guys like this have no clue how morale works.
B/c I do not receive a paycheck, I am told I have no value to society. I cook, clean, caretake, and that's *aside* from the vlunteer medical work.... But since it's not paid, all that is "nothing". No social security value to everything done for years, b/c there isn't a taxable income. Yeah. Value and money are not the same thing.
We all get up and maintain something someway shape or form just existing. Not one of us can get out of maintaining ourselves, others, our home, or whatever. Even the laziest of people still get up and do something. This idea that we are not productive enough or just existing is bad if we don't get paid is just wrong. Existing is hard enough as it is yet folks seem to think it isn't that hard. We shouldn't have to prove anything to exist and eat and live in this world. We all have been made to believe enjoying ourselves and our time just being, is wrong. It isn't and I'm tired of the brainwashing and constant ridicule of just wanting to exist, relax, and enjoy myself with what time I do have left to live.
Load More Replies... Try to look at the positive, she told you what her love language is, some people will keep you guessing. Set yourself up a little reminder on the phone until it becomes a habit. Would also suggest if you have things she could do in your love language, let her know.
It seems like the lesson has been received. It remains to be seen if it's been understood.
Load More Replies... It also sounds like the wife is having to handle most of the day-to-day discipline in the household, while the husband just gets to come home and be the good guy. That alone can be exhausting. Some white collar guys like this have no clue how morale works.
81
114