Racist Parents Secretly Test Their Grandkid’s DNA Because They Don’t Like Their Son’s Wife, Drama Ensues
This story posted on AITA makes us wonder whether parental approval is sometimes even worth it. “I met my wife Sonya at a restaurant where she worked as a waitress. It took me a while to finally be her boyfriend,” the Redditor u/PaperBackWriter00 recounted. However, his parents immediately showed their disapproval of Sonya and even said that she “is only using me to achieve her American dream.”
You may suspect that a child would change the situation and make the parents accept and respect their daughter-in-law, but the opposite happened. Not only did they not trust Sonya, they suspected the baby was not their son’s.
Family drama ensued when the author found out his parents secretly had a DNA test run on his child. As you may suspect, this was the last drop of his patience.
One dad has recently shared how his parents ran a DNA test on his child because they “did not trust his wife” and wanted to see if the baby was really his
Image credits: piqsels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Polina Zimmerman (not the actual photo)
Many people expressed their support for the author in the comments
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Living well is the best revenge. Surround your family with love, and wish the haters well -- in your head, from a distance.
Secretly getting a DNA test without either parent's consent (or even knowledge) because they automatically assumed she was an unfaithful piece of trash is definitely the straw that broke the camel's back here. If those no-good grandparents were willing to cross that many boundries just to fuel their prejudices NOW, who knows what things they might do LATER?
Wait a minute: they also tested their son's DNA without his consent! The lab had to have a sample to match the grandson's DNA to... They broke the law twice, and two sets of legal documents were falsified!
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Def NTA, they don’t deserve to be in your family's life acting like that. Shame shame knows their name. You definitely did the right thing shutting that s**t down now before they fester their racism into your son’s world. If they want to be racist, fine their choice but they can do it all by themselves in a corner far far away.
Reading this almost made my blood boil. I cannot understand how people can still be this racist in the 21st century. I thought that we were past all of that, but these last few years have shown me that I was very wrong. He is not the a-hole and those parents were way out of line. I would love someone to explain why non white are so hated in this world. What did we do to get this kind of treatment? Before anyone says so in the comments: If you have had an incident of reverse racism, I am sorry, but the racism I am talking about is the racism I have experienced.
Nope, nta and this is what I wish every partner would do! If the grandchild wants to reach out to them when he grow older he should have the possibility to but this is the best solution now. What the grandparents did was very disrespectful.
NTA. The grandparents are awful people. But I don't understand the racist part. Is Sonya of a different skin color, than OP and his family? Because that wasn't specified, also Sonya is a slavic name originally, what leads to think me, she may be eastern-european. But of course, names are nowadays quite international.
It's probably a made-up name to protect her privacy. He wasn't about to identify her on Reddit.
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I'm 90% sure my MIL did the same with me and my husband. My husband couldn't have children with his first wife. I could and did. MIL actually believed I had slept with one of the brothers. I didn't and they were fairly insulted. The last child resembled all the brothers one month after the other. Then my husband. That same child, around 4, looked at a photo album and says "Hey! That's me, older" Yes. That was the youngest brother... Today you look at my children and there's no doubt in anyone's mind where they are from. The brothers are very different in appearance. It's a shame but it doesn't really matter since she likes to put her children against each other so we don't visit anymore; it's been years. No apologies were given.
This is so so sad, surely what they did testing the babies DNA was ilegal? I don't think I would ever forgive them for doing that if those were my parents :(
This story is sad and I am glad he is smart to choose wife and child over racist idiots.....now that being said I am getting sick of reading these AITA when they are ridiculous one sided. They are becoming stories were someone's like " hey so I was robbed, stabbed, shot, cheated on, murdered, brought back to life, and insulted by someone whom I gave money, shelter, car, food, kidneys, everything....should I keep them in my life or AITA". I mean of course you aren't the Arsehole to cut out racist parents, why ask?
I'm half-Japanese so dont look very similar to either of my parents. That's literally the result of being mixed. F**k those boomers. Glad they cut them out of their lives.
Yeah, I think this is made up. I mean, come on. Who says 'I am so glad to confirm you are indeed my grandson?' It sounds like something from a soapie.
Sadly this is extremely common type of behavior with toxic in-laws and most of them are pretty open about it.
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You did the absolute right and best thing! Now, your child/ children, will grow up happy, adjusted, with w rainbow of love and family members to share! Your wife is a gem! And I bet her family is also! Hence the rainbow, because you have chosen and so choose, your family in life! But the one poster was correct. Your parents have no trouble crossing boundaries, and with their own family members! Performing a medical test without your express permission, is so very illegal! So, if they ever tried to pull the grandparent law thing where as their grandparents, and entitled to spend time with your children, whip the illegal testing out and that should shut them up. They lost all access and rightly so, to being part of your life, for that act alone. Besides, shows their extreme lack of trust and respect for you, and your wife. Make sure your wills state very clearly, if you two were to die, they go to mom's side of the family. Not fun to think about, but needed.
Abso-f*****g-lutely NTA. Parents are racist assholes. Great that they got kicked to the curb.
They're likely more classiest than racist, since they think she's after him for monetary reasons and are perfectly fine with the mixed race baby after the test confirmation. But that's quibbling.
I have a racist, insane mother as well. We cut her out of my life entirely 5 years ago and wish I had done it sooner. She hated the fact that my wife was Hispanic and told us to never have kids. When we did she wanted to see the kids all the time and even wanted to bring them to Disney world by themselves (mother and stepfather). If course we declined and later found out he was a sex offender for soliciting children under 15. If parents don't accept your significant other fully, cut them out of your life right away.
I wish my mom had kept me from my step grandmother. She used to call a dirty little Mexican and I better not steal her stuff. I was five.
Listen to Kim. Living with relatives that do not care about one of your parents is life altering. Being told you are just like that parent and not in a good way is painful. Words once spoken can never be taken back. I am now in my 50's and words spoken to me before I was 10 still come back to haunt me!
My dad was a POS with some good bits sprinkled in. My mom's parents and family justifiably hated how he treated her. They never once said a word to my sister or I until we were adults. I don't think these grandparents would keep their racist mouths shut
Amazes me that parents always cal, us selfish and cruel when we stand up to them. My parents are the same. If ud never met me you’d think I was the most selfish person in the world. Im fat lazy money grabbing loose u name it. I still did everything for them trying to shine in their eyes I have give up now and I feel better now I have cut them off. My absence means nothing to them.
Okay those grandparents are FUBAR in their heads. Being that level of racists, I am inclined to agree that severing contact is the only way to keep the family in peace and prevent that child from growing up into a bigoted pinheads like those folks.
OP, your parents are turds and your wife is a saint. Your poor kid's DNA is now going to be in some government vault for who knows what purposes. DNA should only be taken when legal consent is given. I wish you all everything good.
While it is not the *best* reason for him to cut all ties with them, it is in the top 3. Complete No Contact. If they have Social Media, block them. Inform all other family members *why* it was done, and ask that they NOT relay messages, or actively keep them informed as to what is happening in their or their children's lives. Until they can PROVE they have shed their bigoted ways.
Can I ask WHY, James? Why wouldn't it be "the best reason for him to cut all ties with them"? Having a half minority child around people who are openly hostile toward the non-White part of him seems like one of THE "best reasons" to cut ties...
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You might be able to get along with people who hate you, your family of origin, and your ancestors. I would find that enormously difficult. I'd also be worried that, one day, the child will hear horrible put downs of his mother. Quantity of sins is not my only criteria for cutting people off. For example, if your parents hired a detective and did a DNA test on your kids, that would count as two incidents - it might be fine for you, but it would be egregious for me. Love is an emotion, respect is an action. Love that comes with disrespect can be rejected for the sake of one's mental health.
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No its not awesome if you find that ad on chill places like Bored Panda. Your life will not be awesome if you waste your time with advertising. You could have walked from Barcelona, ES to Slubice, PL at granny speed in the time you enter ads.
Load More Replies... Living well is the best revenge. Surround your family with love, and wish the haters well -- in your head, from a distance.
Secretly getting a DNA test without either parent's consent (or even knowledge) because they automatically assumed she was an unfaithful piece of trash is definitely the straw that broke the camel's back here. If those no-good grandparents were willing to cross that many boundries just to fuel their prejudices NOW, who knows what things they might do LATER?
Wait a minute: they also tested their son's DNA without his consent! The lab had to have a sample to match the grandson's DNA to... They broke the law twice, and two sets of legal documents were falsified!
Load More Replies... Def NTA, they don’t deserve to be in your family's life acting like that. Shame shame knows their name. You definitely did the right thing shutting that s**t down now before they fester their racism into your son’s world. If they want to be racist, fine their choice but they can do it all by themselves in a corner far far away.
Reading this almost made my blood boil. I cannot understand how people can still be this racist in the 21st century. I thought that we were past all of that, but these last few years have shown me that I was very wrong. He is not the a-hole and those parents were way out of line. I would love someone to explain why non white are so hated in this world. What did we do to get this kind of treatment? Before anyone says so in the comments: If you have had an incident of reverse racism, I am sorry, but the racism I am talking about is the racism I have experienced.
Nope, nta and this is what I wish every partner would do! If the grandchild wants to reach out to them when he grow older he should have the possibility to but this is the best solution now. What the grandparents did was very disrespectful.
NTA. The grandparents are awful people. But I don't understand the racist part. Is Sonya of a different skin color, than OP and his family? Because that wasn't specified, also Sonya is a slavic name originally, what leads to think me, she may be eastern-european. But of course, names are nowadays quite international.
It's probably a made-up name to protect her privacy. He wasn't about to identify her on Reddit.
Load More Replies... I'm 90% sure my MIL did the same with me and my husband. My husband couldn't have children with his first wife. I could and did. MIL actually believed I had slept with one of the brothers. I didn't and they were fairly insulted. The last child resembled all the brothers one month after the other. Then my husband. That same child, around 4, looked at a photo album and says "Hey! That's me, older" Yes. That was the youngest brother... Today you look at my children and there's no doubt in anyone's mind where they are from. The brothers are very different in appearance. It's a shame but it doesn't really matter since she likes to put her children against each other so we don't visit anymore; it's been years. No apologies were given.
This is so so sad, surely what they did testing the babies DNA was ilegal? I don't think I would ever forgive them for doing that if those were my parents :(
This story is sad and I am glad he is smart to choose wife and child over racist idiots.....now that being said I am getting sick of reading these AITA when they are ridiculous one sided. They are becoming stories were someone's like " hey so I was robbed, stabbed, shot, cheated on, murdered, brought back to life, and insulted by someone whom I gave money, shelter, car, food, kidneys, everything....should I keep them in my life or AITA". I mean of course you aren't the Arsehole to cut out racist parents, why ask?
I'm half-Japanese so dont look very similar to either of my parents. That's literally the result of being mixed. F**k those boomers. Glad they cut them out of their lives.
Yeah, I think this is made up. I mean, come on. Who says 'I am so glad to confirm you are indeed my grandson?' It sounds like something from a soapie.
Sadly this is extremely common type of behavior with toxic in-laws and most of them are pretty open about it.
Load More Replies... You did the absolute right and best thing! Now, your child/ children, will grow up happy, adjusted, with w rainbow of love and family members to share! Your wife is a gem! And I bet her family is also! Hence the rainbow, because you have chosen and so choose, your family in life! But the one poster was correct. Your parents have no trouble crossing boundaries, and with their own family members! Performing a medical test without your express permission, is so very illegal! So, if they ever tried to pull the grandparent law thing where as their grandparents, and entitled to spend time with your children, whip the illegal testing out and that should shut them up. They lost all access and rightly so, to being part of your life, for that act alone. Besides, shows their extreme lack of trust and respect for you, and your wife. Make sure your wills state very clearly, if you two were to die, they go to mom's side of the family. Not fun to think about, but needed.
Abso-f*****g-lutely NTA. Parents are racist assholes. Great that they got kicked to the curb.
They're likely more classiest than racist, since they think she's after him for monetary reasons and are perfectly fine with the mixed race baby after the test confirmation. But that's quibbling.
I have a racist, insane mother as well. We cut her out of my life entirely 5 years ago and wish I had done it sooner. She hated the fact that my wife was Hispanic and told us to never have kids. When we did she wanted to see the kids all the time and even wanted to bring them to Disney world by themselves (mother and stepfather). If course we declined and later found out he was a sex offender for soliciting children under 15. If parents don't accept your significant other fully, cut them out of your life right away.
I wish my mom had kept me from my step grandmother. She used to call a dirty little Mexican and I better not steal her stuff. I was five.
Listen to Kim. Living with relatives that do not care about one of your parents is life altering. Being told you are just like that parent and not in a good way is painful. Words once spoken can never be taken back. I am now in my 50's and words spoken to me before I was 10 still come back to haunt me!
My dad was a POS with some good bits sprinkled in. My mom's parents and family justifiably hated how he treated her. They never once said a word to my sister or I until we were adults. I don't think these grandparents would keep their racist mouths shut
Amazes me that parents always cal, us selfish and cruel when we stand up to them. My parents are the same. If ud never met me you’d think I was the most selfish person in the world. Im fat lazy money grabbing loose u name it. I still did everything for them trying to shine in their eyes I have give up now and I feel better now I have cut them off. My absence means nothing to them.
Okay those grandparents are FUBAR in their heads. Being that level of racists, I am inclined to agree that severing contact is the only way to keep the family in peace and prevent that child from growing up into a bigoted pinheads like those folks.
OP, your parents are turds and your wife is a saint. Your poor kid's DNA is now going to be in some government vault for who knows what purposes. DNA should only be taken when legal consent is given. I wish you all everything good.
While it is not the *best* reason for him to cut all ties with them, it is in the top 3. Complete No Contact. If they have Social Media, block them. Inform all other family members *why* it was done, and ask that they NOT relay messages, or actively keep them informed as to what is happening in their or their children's lives. Until they can PROVE they have shed their bigoted ways.
Can I ask WHY, James? Why wouldn't it be "the best reason for him to cut all ties with them"? Having a half minority child around people who are openly hostile toward the non-White part of him seems like one of THE "best reasons" to cut ties...
Load More Replies... You might be able to get along with people who hate you, your family of origin, and your ancestors. I would find that enormously difficult. I'd also be worried that, one day, the child will hear horrible put downs of his mother. Quantity of sins is not my only criteria for cutting people off. For example, if your parents hired a detective and did a DNA test on your kids, that would count as two incidents - it might be fine for you, but it would be egregious for me. Love is an emotion, respect is an action. Love that comes with disrespect can be rejected for the sake of one's mental health.
Load More Replies... No its not awesome if you find that ad on chill places like Bored Panda. Your life will not be awesome if you waste your time with advertising. You could have walked from Barcelona, ES to Slubice, PL at granny speed in the time you enter ads.
Load More Replies...
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