Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

GF Says That BF’s Baking Doesn’t Make Her Feel Special, Takes Break And Ends Up With Someone Else
Man wearing apron in kitchen with freshly baked pastries, showcasing boyfriend's passion for pastries and baking.

GF Says That BF’s Baking Doesn’t Make Her Feel Special, Takes Break And Ends Up With Someone Else

36

ADVERTISEMENT

We’ve all heard “the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach,” but what happens when dessert causes heartbreak instead of delight? Sometimes, the way we show love just doesn’t land the way we hope.

What feels like a thoughtful gesture to one person can be misunderstood or overlooked by another, leaving even the most caring partner feeling frustrated or confused. Today’s Original Poster (OP) found himself in this situation, but he couldn’t have known that it would lead to the end of the relationship.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Love isn’t just about grand gestures or sweeping declarations; it’s also about understanding how your partner feels loved and appreciated

    Image credits: Renato Leal / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    The author and his girlfriend have been dating for six months, and he enjoys baking desserts to show his love for her

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: david-silverfield

    Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    She expressed that she doesn’t feel special when he bakes, believing he does it more for the hobby than for her

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: david-silverfield

    Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    She became increasingly distant, and this left him worried about the future of their relationship

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: david-silverfield

    Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Before he could address it, the girlfriend requested a break due to being busy with work and life, creating mixed signals as they sometimes became intimate again

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: david-silverfield

    Image credits: david-silverfield/ Imgur

    ADVERTISEMENT

    During this last break, with little contact, she eventually told him she had met someone else, leading to the end of the relationship

    The OP shared that he had been dating his girlfriend for six months. He also shared that he loved baking and often made treats for her as a way to show love. For him, baking was both a hobby and a gesture of affection, but the girlfriend didn’t see it that way. In fact, she felt that his love of baking overshadowed her and didn’t make her feel special.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Things took a turn when the OP noticed that she started distancing herself. At this point, he started worrying about their relationship because he truly valued her and even envisioned a future together. He also noted potential misunderstandings due to his thick accent and English not being his first language. Still, he needed to know what was wrong.

    Before he could even fully address anything, the girlfriend initiated a break, saying that she was stressed from work and also had life commitments. This wasn’t the first time she had requested space, apparently, as the OP explained that her demanding career in advertising meant overtime and fluctuating schedules.

    Eventually, during this break, the girlfriend revealed she had met someone else, which left the OP heartbroken, grappling with the abrupt end to a relationship he deeply cherished.

    Image credits: david-silverfield / Imgur

    Understanding love languages can shed light on why the OP’s thoughtful gestures didn’t have the intended effect in his relationship with his girlfriend. According to Healthline Media, people express and receive love in five main ways, including words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    They explain that misunderstandings can occur when partners express affection in ways that don’t align with what the other person values most. In this case, baking, which falls under “acts of service,” was the OP’s way of showing love, but the girlfriend may have prioritized a different form of affection, like verbal praise or quality time, making her feel less appreciated.

    BetterHelp further explains that conflicts can arise when acts of service are misinterpreted. If the intent behind these actions isn’t clear, the partner might think the gestures reflect personal hobbies or obligations rather than genuine affection.

    Bayview Therapy highlights that openly discussing love languages is crucial for ensuring partners feel valued and understood. When couples talk about how they give and receive love, they can tailor their gestures to each other’s emotional needs, creating a stronger connection.

    Netizens felt the girlfriend’s behavior was a red flag from the start, calling her reactions controlling and unreasonable. They were also of the belief that she had already checked out of the relationship.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    What’s your take on taking “breaks” in relationships? Are they a healthy reset or just a slow-motion breakup? We would love to know your thoughts!

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Netizens insisted that the girlfriend’s complaints had nothing to do with baking and that she had already been looking for an exit

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Poll Question

    Total votes ·

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Total votes ·
    Share on Facebook

    Explore more of these tags

    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a writer and bookworm (eyes glued to an e-book, more accurately) who happens to have a suspiciously deep knowledge about pop culture. When I'm not writing, I can most likely be found taking yet another online quiz to find out which soda matches my personality.

    Read less »
    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a writer and bookworm (eyes glued to an e-book, more accurately) who happens to have a suspiciously deep knowledge about pop culture. When I'm not writing, I can most likely be found taking yet another online quiz to find out which soda matches my personality.

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi! Here at Panda's I'm responsible for Photo Editing and all of the things surrounding it. I love finding great, moody or even dramatic photos to fit the story. Besides that, I'm a proud owner of 3 cats with the silliest names and a bazillion plants<3You can find me at a makeup counter with headphones swatching all of the sparkly eyeshadows

    Read less »

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! Here at Panda's I'm responsible for Photo Editing and all of the things surrounding it. I love finding great, moody or even dramatic photos to fit the story. Besides that, I'm a proud owner of 3 cats with the silliest names and a bazillion plants<3You can find me at a makeup counter with headphones swatching all of the sparkly eyeshadows

    What do you think ?
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was never about his baking. She was too immature for him. Too bad we can't reach thru the computer/phone screen to grab those yummy pastries!

    Mike F
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Amen to that! My mouth is watering.

    Load More Replies...
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    3 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my husband is cooking, we talk. When I’m cooking, my husband and I talk. When both of us are cooking, we talk, when neither of us are cooking, we talk. You can spend time with each other, talking and just enjoying being together, while doing other things too, ffs. IF you’re interested enough in the relationship to do that, of course. OP was, Tara wasn’t. Chalk it up to experience, OP, and enjoy baking. Believe me, there are a lot of fish in the sea, and there’s one who loves that you bake as a hobby. She the one who’s meant to be with you. Just be patient, nd she’ll pass your way soon enough—-if she hasn’t already and you weren’t paying attention because Tara was distracting you with all her juvenile b******t.

    Load More Comments
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was never about his baking. She was too immature for him. Too bad we can't reach thru the computer/phone screen to grab those yummy pastries!

    Mike F
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Amen to that! My mouth is watering.

    Load More Replies...
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    3 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my husband is cooking, we talk. When I’m cooking, my husband and I talk. When both of us are cooking, we talk, when neither of us are cooking, we talk. You can spend time with each other, talking and just enjoying being together, while doing other things too, ffs. IF you’re interested enough in the relationship to do that, of course. OP was, Tara wasn’t. Chalk it up to experience, OP, and enjoy baking. Believe me, there are a lot of fish in the sea, and there’s one who loves that you bake as a hobby. She the one who’s meant to be with you. Just be patient, nd she’ll pass your way soon enough—-if she hasn’t already and you weren’t paying attention because Tara was distracting you with all her juvenile b******t.

    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Popular on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT