In these days of modernity and gender equality, going Dutch on a date and splitting the bill is nothing new. It’s no big deal: we’ve seen it before and (odds are) we’ve done it countless times. However, something that you probably haven’t done is asking for equal payment after a few dates when you realize that you won’t be seeing that person again.
That’s exactly the weird situation that Alex Colboth from Milwaukee in Wisconsin found herself in. The guy she was seeing messaged her and asked her to reimburse him for the three dates that they’d been on when he was rejected by her. “It’s only fair to ask for equal payment from you,” he wrote.
This unusual request sparked quite a debate on Twitter. While social media users came out in support of the guy for having the guts to be so upfront, others thought that he was completely out of line. Have a read through the man’s message to Alex and let us know who you think is in the right here, dear Pandas. How would you respond if you were Alex?
More info: Twitter | Instagram
Alex shared how a guy asked her for a refund when she said she didn’t want to see him anymore after 3 dates
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Alex later gave all of us an update that she didn’t reimburse her Tinder match after his request.
Some Twitter users pointed out that the man was being unreasonable because he refused to accept the fact that dating is a risk. You might find yourself falling in love or you might realize that you wasted your time. But you move on. And, if you’re lucky, you learn a little something for the next date.
Meanwhile, other Twitter users noted that, in their opinion, there’s nothing wrong with asking for your money back. We’re living in 2021 after all.
The Harvard Business Review points out that what’s truly important during those first few dates is honesty and openness about your views on money. “Rather than letting outdated assumptions lurk in the background, be open about money right from the get-go, and come to a decision you’re both comfortable with,” Kiara Taylor writes on HBR.
Because everyone’s financial situation is different, it’s vital that you set out very clear boundaries for budgets, gifts, and expectations for who will foot the bill as soon as possible. Avoiding the question because you feel uncomfortable will only create more trouble down the line, especially if you feel that the relationship is getting serious.
On the flip side, if the romance doesn’t work out, then what do you have to lose by being candid about your financial expectations. According to HBR, this honesty about your views on money can deepen your relationship and increase your empathy for one another. And if we follow this advice, it’s clear that we should bite the bullet and ask to split the bill during the date and not after. Though some would still disagree.
Twitter users had various reactions to the situation, with some criticizing the guy for having the audacity to ask for his money back and others showing their support
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If you want to split the bill, that’s perfectly fine. But treating someone to dinner and THEN demanding money is just petty.
Exactly. I always prefer to split if i dont know a lot a person because i feel guilty if the other one pays. But asking for a "refund" is ridiculous. What did he think that she is? A prostitute? He puts money and gets a woman?
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So he means he was paying to get laid? Also: that's exactly why when I was dating I've always wanted to split the bill. No way you're making me feel like I owe you anything. That said, I would reimburse him with 40 dollars. Go get a coffee hun, it's on me.
I don't like either of these two. Why go on three dates with someone you clearly don't like and make him pay everything? And post it all on Twitter to get approval from strangers? And if this man decided to pay for dates, why request the money back? It's not big amount, have dignity, suck it up and go on. Requesting money back from dates is rude, it sounds like you were "investing" into her, which is awful.
It can take a lot more than 3 dates to realise you don't like someone or that they aren't right for you. We actually don't know if she made him pay, he could have insisted on paying expecting to get something out of it. which sounds like his plan all along, since he is asking for the money back coz he didn't get what he "paid" for. We are not objects to return for a bloody refund. We are not obligated to date someone just because they paid for something.
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If you want to split the bill, that’s perfectly fine. But treating someone to dinner and THEN demanding money is just petty.
Exactly. I always prefer to split if i dont know a lot a person because i feel guilty if the other one pays. But asking for a "refund" is ridiculous. What did he think that she is? A prostitute? He puts money and gets a woman?
Load More Replies... So he means he was paying to get laid? Also: that's exactly why when I was dating I've always wanted to split the bill. No way you're making me feel like I owe you anything. That said, I would reimburse him with 40 dollars. Go get a coffee hun, it's on me.
I don't like either of these two. Why go on three dates with someone you clearly don't like and make him pay everything? And post it all on Twitter to get approval from strangers? And if this man decided to pay for dates, why request the money back? It's not big amount, have dignity, suck it up and go on. Requesting money back from dates is rude, it sounds like you were "investing" into her, which is awful.
It can take a lot more than 3 dates to realise you don't like someone or that they aren't right for you. We actually don't know if she made him pay, he could have insisted on paying expecting to get something out of it. which sounds like his plan all along, since he is asking for the money back coz he didn't get what he "paid" for. We are not objects to return for a bloody refund. We are not obligated to date someone just because they paid for something.
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