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Uninvited Friends Ruin Romantic Trip, Man Demands They Pay Their Share Of Hotel Costs
Uninvited Friends Ruin Romantic Trip, Man Demands They Pay Their Share Of Hotel Costs
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Uninvited Friends Ruin Romantic Trip, Man Demands They Pay Their Share Of Hotel Costs

Interview With Expert

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Imagine your perfect romantic getaway. You plan a weekend alone with your partner in a picturesque location, with nothing in mind but enjoying each other’s company. 

All of a sudden, their friends show up. You thought they were just dropping by, but as it turns out, they’re tagging along the entire time. They’re even sleeping in the same hotel room. 

A Reddit user dealt with this exact situation with his girlfriend, who invited friends over during a beach trip he planned for just the two of them. With his plans ruined, he asked his significant other and her two pals to split the hotel costs with him. He now asks the AITAH subreddit if his actions were uncalled for.

You will also find our interview with California-based relationship coach Amie Leadingham, who shared her insights about setting boundaries.

RELATED:

    Romantic getaways are important in a relationship

    Image credits: Luis Zambrano (not the actual image)

    A man planned a weekend beach trip alone with his girlfriend when she decided to invite two of her friends

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    Image credits: Wavebreakmedia (not the actual image)

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    The three women agreed to split the costs but also criticized the author 

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    Image credits: experiment_ad_4

    Boundaries are bridges to understanding

    The couple in the story seems to lack understanding between each other. As Leadingham reminds us, communication and mutual respect are the foundation of any strong relationship. 

    In this example, the supposed romantic getaway turned into a group trip. According to Leadingham, it also highlights the need for an open dialogue about setting expectations and personal space. 

    “It’s not about right or wrong but about aligning visions and honoring each other’s needs,” she told Bored Panda.

    Achieving growth in a relationship can take a lot of work, and as Leadingham told us, it stems from clearly expressing desires, actively listening, and finding a compromise that respects both parties.

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    Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual image)

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    Setting boundaries requires baby steps to begin 

    If you’re not used to setting boundaries for yourself, making the change may require a slow approach. In an interview with the Cleveland Clinic, licensed psychologistKaren Salerno recommends starting with small changes until you’ve built enough confidence to establish this behavior. 

    However, taking that first step must also involve following through. Salerno stresses this point more than anything. 

    “If you don’t act on them, it may make it harder for other people to trust your boundary setting.”

    Credit goes to the author for putting his foot down and asking for a split, which was understandable for him. We can only hope that it sent a strong message to his girlfriend and, at the very least, makes her think twice about doing the same thing again. 

    What do you think, dear readers? Was he out of line with the way he acted?

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    Image credits: Monstera Production (not the actual image)

    Most people in the comments sided with him and criticized his girlfriend

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

    What do you think ?
    Pollywog
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The minute she changed their romantic weekend into a girl's trip he should've left. Cancelled his reservation, explain that she'd be taking over the room and let them enjoy the room! She doesn't respect him and seems to be using him.

    Zedrapazia
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's nicer than me, I'd have told the reception about the two and demanded they leave asap. And in follow up to that probably not spent any time of the romantic getaway with my partner because the situation would've become awkward. I'm glad my fiance isn't like that every time I see one of these posts

    Load More Replies...
    Melissa anderson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She invited her friends telling them that her bf would pay for everything. The thing is, she never asked him about it. She’s trying to show off for her friends. She will burn through his money faster than a fire at a paper mill. Dump her.

    Nils Skirnir
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    GF didn’t want a romantic getaway and looked for an out. Simple.

    Ouss Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think melissa anderson's analysis is more fitting. She wanted to show him off and there is truth to what you said. There is no romance. It seems like the guy to her is not a lover but an accessory to show off to friends.

    Load More Replies...
    Parriah
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really doubt his girlfriend would have been okay with him inviting a couple of his bros on a trip like this AND expect her to sleep, use bathroom a few feet away and try to communicate with him with them there the whole time. She would have lost her mind. She’s not a keeper

    AMaureen Dance
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or she would have loved having two more guys to try to get money from.

    Load More Replies...
    Argle Bargle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Get rid of her. She has zero respect for you, and until people understand that this type of trash behaviour will keep them single, they will continue the entitlement.

    Schmebulock
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Should have told them it was fine, but your going to be naked as soon as you get back to the room and will be putting on a show in bed

    Alyssa Phillips
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was what I came to say! Go to the nearest "shop", come back with a sexy banana hammock and come in "ready to party" 😉

    Load More Replies...
    Alexandra
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This kind of thing seems to become a trend: a woman goes on a date with a man and, unknown to her date, takes her friends with her and they all expect the man to pay because he's 'the man'. OP's girlfriend is not someone he should look to spend the rest of his life with if she goes behind his back like this.

    Royal Stray
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It probably came from the "have a friend at the bar" safety tip. Which in my opinion is completely fair, since it's just about having someone keeping an eye on you, and that's it. But some people will always try to exploit stuff like that. I've seen way too many stories where girls try to guilt the guy into paying for a friend since "you might be a creep so she needs to be here". But the entire point if for the date to not know if the friend is there.

    Load More Replies...
    Pablo Ramos
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your girl didn't want to be alone with you. I'll see myself out.

    Load More Comments
    Pollywog
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The minute she changed their romantic weekend into a girl's trip he should've left. Cancelled his reservation, explain that she'd be taking over the room and let them enjoy the room! She doesn't respect him and seems to be using him.

    Zedrapazia
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's nicer than me, I'd have told the reception about the two and demanded they leave asap. And in follow up to that probably not spent any time of the romantic getaway with my partner because the situation would've become awkward. I'm glad my fiance isn't like that every time I see one of these posts

    Load More Replies...
    Melissa anderson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She invited her friends telling them that her bf would pay for everything. The thing is, she never asked him about it. She’s trying to show off for her friends. She will burn through his money faster than a fire at a paper mill. Dump her.

    Nils Skirnir
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    GF didn’t want a romantic getaway and looked for an out. Simple.

    Ouss Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think melissa anderson's analysis is more fitting. She wanted to show him off and there is truth to what you said. There is no romance. It seems like the guy to her is not a lover but an accessory to show off to friends.

    Load More Replies...
    Parriah
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really doubt his girlfriend would have been okay with him inviting a couple of his bros on a trip like this AND expect her to sleep, use bathroom a few feet away and try to communicate with him with them there the whole time. She would have lost her mind. She’s not a keeper

    AMaureen Dance
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or she would have loved having two more guys to try to get money from.

    Load More Replies...
    Argle Bargle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Get rid of her. She has zero respect for you, and until people understand that this type of trash behaviour will keep them single, they will continue the entitlement.

    Schmebulock
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Should have told them it was fine, but your going to be naked as soon as you get back to the room and will be putting on a show in bed

    Alyssa Phillips
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was what I came to say! Go to the nearest "shop", come back with a sexy banana hammock and come in "ready to party" 😉

    Load More Replies...
    Alexandra
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This kind of thing seems to become a trend: a woman goes on a date with a man and, unknown to her date, takes her friends with her and they all expect the man to pay because he's 'the man'. OP's girlfriend is not someone he should look to spend the rest of his life with if she goes behind his back like this.

    Royal Stray
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It probably came from the "have a friend at the bar" safety tip. Which in my opinion is completely fair, since it's just about having someone keeping an eye on you, and that's it. But some people will always try to exploit stuff like that. I've seen way too many stories where girls try to guilt the guy into paying for a friend since "you might be a creep so she needs to be here". But the entire point if for the date to not know if the friend is there.

    Load More Replies...
    Pablo Ramos
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your girl didn't want to be alone with you. I'll see myself out.

    Load More Comments
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