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17
“He Was Upset”: Stepmother Takes Heat Online For Making 17 Y.O. Share The Candy He Bought For Himself With Little Half-Sister
It just so happens that nothing in this world is perfect, and very often marriages break up and new families are formed on their basis. True, the relationship between stepparents and children is not always so cloudless – and most often it depends on the adults.
Since the time of the fairy tale about Cinderella, we are all well-acquainted with this quite traditional story, and from year to year it is repeated in a variety of circumstances. For example, like in this tale from the user u/Street-Rise-2663.
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The author of the post has two kids with her husband and a 17 Y.O. stepson from the man’s former relationship
Image credits: Iam Elago (not the actual photo)
The teen recently got a part-time job at Starbucks so he usually spends money on gaming equipment, clothes and snacks
Image credits: Street-Rise-2663
The boy recently brought some snacks home and didn’t want to give any candy to his 8 Y.O. half-sister despite her begging
Image credits: slgckgc (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Street-Rise-2663
The woman ended up threatening to ground the stepson if he didn’t share, and both the boy and his dad were upset with this
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she has been married for many years, and she and her husband have an eight-year-old daughter as well as a seven-month-old baby. In addition, the OP’s husband also has a 17-year-old son from his previous relationship. Around Christmas, the teen got a part-time job at Starbucks, and since then he has been trying to spend the money he earns on gaming equipment, games and clothes, and also on buying snacks.
One beautiful day, the teenager came home from work with a big pack of snacks, and the author’s daughter, seeing some candy there, asked for one for herself. The boy refused, saying that he bought them for himself with his own money, but the girl continued begging him. As a result, a quarrel broke out, and the OP’s daughter ran in tears to complain to her mom.
She had just put a teething baby to bed (those who have encountered this period in the kids’ life will understand easily…), so she wanted nothing but silence. The woman demanded that her stepson share some candy with his half-sister, and when he repeated his arguments, she replied that, for example, she and his dad also buy groceries with their own money and, following the teen’s logic, then they should not share with him either.
The fight continued until finally the OP threatened to ground the stepson unless he shared the candy with the girl. He eventually obeyed, however, apparently, he complained to his dad, because in the evening the author of the post happened to have an unpleasant conversation with her spouse, who was indignant that his son was treated like a small child, and that the money he earns belongs to him and only him. However, the original poster is not that sure that she is wrong in this situation.
Image credits: Bradley Gordon (not the actual photo)
The situation here is, by the way, very ambiguous. On the one hand, our entire culture and history encourages teenagers to make money from an early age by telling various inspiring stories about John D. Rockefeller, Thomas Edison and Steve Jobs. On the other hand, there are directly opposite stories – for example, about Macaulay Culkin and his father, who actually ruined his son’s career after running his son’s money.
“[Teens] need that power, that statement of being an individual,” US News quote Pegi Burdick, an LA-based financial coach. “Parents need to have boundaries and know when to keep silent.” Moreover, according to experts, if you want your teenager to learn how to properly manage their money in the future, you should close your eyes (and mouth as well) if these expenses seem stupid to you. In the end, the experience gained by personal example is assimilated much better than someone else’s.
Admittedly, most people in the comments also fully share the idea that the teen’s money is his choice, and that if parents are obliged to provide food for their children, then a teenager should absolutely not share with his half-sister if he does not want to. The general message of most commenters is: “Don’t be the Evil Stepmother.” Although some folks in the comments say sadly: “Too late…” So what do you think of this tale’s characters?
However most folks in the comments sided with the author’s stepson, urging her not to be the ‘evil stepmother’
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What do you think ?
PeepPeep the duck 2 years ago
Without even mentioning who’s who, She couldn’t of made it more obvious who’s the step kid in the situation and which ones her precious cherub who deserves everything 😆
CatLady 2 years ago
My parents loved to pull the "we provide you food and shelter" card pretty much my entire life. So I was constantly anxious and guilty and learned how to fawn to keep them from yelling at me (which generally meant letting my younger sister take whatever she wanted from my room, including cash I'd earned if she happened to find it). They now claim they don't understand why I have PTSD from my childhood and they don't understand why my sister has no boundaries and takes whatever she wants from anyone.
Anne 2 years ago
"we give you food and shelter" ... Because you birthed her against her will.
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Zach Bigalke 2 years ago
Love that nobody comes back to the fact that the daughter had to actively snoop to find the candy, so mom is not only rewarding the tantrum but also the prior invasion of privacy that initiated the little Karenette's tantrum...
Casey McAlister 2 years ago
It's time to teach your child that she A) is not entitled to other people's stuff and while she can ask they have every right to say no b) can't tantrum her way out of any unpleasant situation.
Sam Landon 2 years ago
I was thinking that seemed it- I might think differently if the brother was deliberately taunting the sister but it seems like he was discrete with his junk food he wanted for himself. I had multiple siblings of varied age and that kinda situation was taken case by case- a taunt is like an offer but bought with own money and set aside carefully with your name or a note even was treated as -yours- She could get healthier snacks her daughter likes give them an assigned spot with her name so her daughter feels she has that sorta option as well if this is about feeling 'left out'
Load More Replies... HolyDiver 2 years ago
This is a perfect example of why blended families can be so difficult. My ex used to target my sons just like this and favor her own kids. She is an ex for that exact reason.
Ela 2 years ago
Now, the younger child believes she is entitled to things her brother buys. She will be going through his things and demanding stuff all the time under threat of you'll get in trouble if you don't give it to me. The boy also believes those are the terms, this his upset, not just over a little candy but over being allowed no personal property. To fix it she will need to tell both children she f'd up and hold a firm line with the girl for a while. If she doesn't, he will be out of her house and out of her life as soon as possible and the relationship is toast. Might seem small to her but these things matter.
PeepPeep the duck 2 years ago
Without even mentioning who’s who, She couldn’t of made it more obvious who’s the step kid in the situation and which ones her precious cherub who deserves everything 😆
CatLady 2 years ago
My parents loved to pull the "we provide you food and shelter" card pretty much my entire life. So I was constantly anxious and guilty and learned how to fawn to keep them from yelling at me (which generally meant letting my younger sister take whatever she wanted from my room, including cash I'd earned if she happened to find it). They now claim they don't understand why I have PTSD from my childhood and they don't understand why my sister has no boundaries and takes whatever she wants from anyone.
Anne 2 years ago
"we give you food and shelter" ... Because you birthed her against her will.
Load More Replies... Zach Bigalke 2 years ago
Love that nobody comes back to the fact that the daughter had to actively snoop to find the candy, so mom is not only rewarding the tantrum but also the prior invasion of privacy that initiated the little Karenette's tantrum...
Casey McAlister 2 years ago
It's time to teach your child that she A) is not entitled to other people's stuff and while she can ask they have every right to say no b) can't tantrum her way out of any unpleasant situation.
Sam Landon 2 years ago
I was thinking that seemed it- I might think differently if the brother was deliberately taunting the sister but it seems like he was discrete with his junk food he wanted for himself. I had multiple siblings of varied age and that kinda situation was taken case by case- a taunt is like an offer but bought with own money and set aside carefully with your name or a note even was treated as -yours- She could get healthier snacks her daughter likes give them an assigned spot with her name so her daughter feels she has that sorta option as well if this is about feeling 'left out'
Load More Replies... HolyDiver 2 years ago
This is a perfect example of why blended families can be so difficult. My ex used to target my sons just like this and favor her own kids. She is an ex for that exact reason.
Ela 2 years ago
Now, the younger child believes she is entitled to things her brother buys. She will be going through his things and demanding stuff all the time under threat of you'll get in trouble if you don't give it to me. The boy also believes those are the terms, this his upset, not just over a little candy but over being allowed no personal property. To fix it she will need to tell both children she f'd up and hold a firm line with the girl for a while. If she doesn't, he will be out of her house and out of her life as soon as possible and the relationship is toast. Might seem small to her but these things matter.
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