Employee Struggles With Infertility, Gets Upset When Manager Ignores Her Demand To Make Another Coworker Put Away Her Mother’s Day Flowers
Say whatever you want, motherhood is sexy.
Sure, it is a challenge to grow a human being from practically nothing, making sure they don’t make intellectually questionable decisions in life all while sacrificing every bit of your own existence as a free person. But when your kid’s daycare teacher tells you that he or she prefers a book over a toy, or you find a toy car lodged in your shoe one morning, you understand you’ve done well in life.
Sadly, it is never without nuance.
More Info: Reddit
There is a fine line between asking coworkers to be respectful and straight up demanding that the world revolves around you
Image credits: yosoynuts (not the actual photo)
A bakery manager approached netizens with a dilemma of having to make a decision that would in any case hurt someone
Image credits: maydaymothersday
The manager ultimately decided to say no to the woman who demanded another employee get rid of her flowers
Image credits: Inga Munsinger Cotton (not the actual photo)
This one Redditor, a manager of a bakery with several employees in their team, recently approached the r/AITA community for some perspective.
The story goes that one employee recently placed some flowers on her desk. She got them for Mother’s Day.
However, there is another employee who has been having great difficulty in conceiving. And the display of motherly sentimentalism wasn’t all that pleasant for her.
So, she in turn asked OP if they could do something about it, i.e. make the mother chuck the flowers into a volcano so that they wouldn’t trigger her.
The manager was sympathetic, but otherwise didn’t comply. The mother employee enjoyed the flowers quite a bit, and there was no legal or hygienic reason for them to ask to dispose of the flowers. Also, it kinda sorta is a whose liberty is more important kind of situation, and those are never easy.
OP did nothing, the employee got upset, and so the manager is now asking netizens if she’s really the bad guy.
Image credits: Dmitry Zvolskiy (not the actual photo)
And, no, people online ruled NTA on this one. While many sympathized with the woman—infertility is a very hard thing to get over on many levels—it would also not be right to expect all mothers to now suddenly start changing their own very normal ways and habits to compensate for someone else. The world does not revolve around one individual’s fertility problems.
That pretty much set the tone for the entire community. The manager did nothing wrong here, and the employee just has to learn to deal with it. If anything, for her own mental well being.
And speaking of dealing with it, there are a number of ways to do so, both with treatment and with personal coping mechanisms. The National Health Service (NHS) in the United Kingdom explains that treatment depends on the situation concerning infertility. Sometimes it can be as easy as taking some medicine, while in other cases, it might require surgery. In any case, there is always assisted conception.
Image credits: George Dolgikh (not the actual photo)
On the other end of the spectrum, there’s the mental side of things. Resolve: The National Infertility Association stresses the need for learning and understanding about normal reactions to infertility first, and then moving on to other options. These include not isolating yourself but finding “your tribe”, allowing yourself to cry or be angry, communicating this with your partner, and, last but not least, learning more about what it is that you’re dealing with. Because knowing is half the battle.
According to the CDC, almost 1 in 5 women in the United States, ages 15 to 49, with no prior births, fail to get pregnant within a year. And about a quarter of these women have difficulty getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term.
So, consider yourself informed and consider yourself also done with this article, meaning that you should also consider leaving a considerate comment in the comment section below! Oh, and here’s the original post if you need the source.
Folks online backed the manager, explaining that the world doesn’t revolve around the woman who was upset, though they did empathize with her
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Do pregnant women have to hide their pregnancy bumps, too? And hide their babies in public? Geez, some people.
Read other stories on Reddit and here. Some women do demand that. I lost my only chance at motherhood in a traumatic miscarriage. It was awful. For the first few little while afterward, I was such a traumatized mess that the world revolved only around me. But I put on my big-girl pants and got into therapy and I learned coping skills and reasonable expectations. My cousins and friends invite me to baby showers; they understand if I choose not to go. I usually make and send a gift. I pray for safe deliveries and send messages of congratulations upon the birth. Sometimes I can handle cuddling the baby, sometimes (usually around my own due date... in a few days I should have a four-year-old) I can't. But I deal with it myself and I don't ever step on anyone else's joy.
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1. Thank goodness she's not a mother. She doesn't even sound like an adult. This level of reactivity and selfishness is not compatible with being a good parent. 2. Fertility issues arent a barrier to having a child, they are just a barrier to passing on your DNA. If you'd love a child more or less based on DNA, you're unfit to be a parent. I'm fine with people leaving it up to chance, but then you'v 3. If it's going to be a hard day emotionally, don't go to work. Mental health is health and it's ok to not go in. It isn't ok to make a scene and sabotage other people's presents.
you present some very important points! to be a good parent, you have to sacrifice a lot about who you used to be. you can't be selfish if you're providing care for someone that can't thrive without your support. you have to understand that your child isn't an extension of yourself, that they're their own individual person. I can't help but wonder if this woman would insist that others hide their children's athletic achievements if her own hypothetical child was disabled
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I've had a really hard time getting rich. Amazingly all these a-holes are running around flaunting their wealth everywhere I look and no one will make them hide it, so i am triggered and will now call in sick to work because my boss makes more money than me. I'm sorry, I truly know the pain some people go through to conceive, and how many failed attempts, miscarriages, and still births can absolutely destroy a person's very soul. But at the end of the day you can't hide away every parent because it makes you feel sad. This is the sh*tshow we call life, and no, it's not fair, but it's what it is and you can either choose to be offended/triggered by everything and everyone, or you can learn how to healthily cope with your emotions. Too many people take the easy route to blame everyone else for their hurting. I have massive depression, anxiety, panic attacks (living the dream!) but I'd never want someone else hide their happiness to make me feel better.
This is why mental health help needs to be more accessible. I'm glad you're fighting onward.
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My mother was an abusive jackass. Until I had a kid I hated Mother's Day. I hated all the talk of Mother's Day. I hated when people said we should all appreciate our mothers. But never, did I demand other people not celebrate their mothers bc I didn't have that. I just totally avoided church on that day.
Same. My own mother is a terrible person who I'm no contact with. My MIL, whom I adored, passed several years ago. Up until two years ago, I celebrated my Grandma every mother's day. Then she passed. I feel sad not having anyone to celebrate on mothers day, but I don't begrudge anyone else doing so. I didn't have a kind, loving, nurturing mom, but it makes me happy to see that other people do.
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This year was the first year my mother wasn't around for mother's day, she passed 2 months ago. I didn't demand no on mention mother's day, I even bought a card for my bfs mom from both of us. The day of mother's day, I got to ignore the fact that it was mother's day and my mom wasn't with us. It's about being a respectable adult, not a entitled adult.
I think it's time to let Iris go as she is using her own issues to create a toxic environment and attempting to manipulate the rest of the staff through emotional blackmail
I generally advocate for trying to be nice to everyone, but you can't tiptoe around the whole world either. I understand Iris, but she has to understand that not everyone can accommodate to her
I suspect Iris has other issues with Maria, actually. I mean, how does she deal with it when a customer brings their kids in with them? If she's so sensitive that a bouquet on a coworker's desk sets her off, what does she do when confronted with actual children? She's using that as an excuse to bully Maria.
It's called covert narcissism. Using your vulnerability to manipulate other people.
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To be honest, I never understood why some people who desperately want to have kids but can't conceive try to make it everybody else's problem instead of maybe considering adoption .Like, you can fulfill your own dream and give a child home and family, but you prefer to be bitter about your fertility issues. Very sad.
like there are so many children out there that need a home and someone to call "mom" or "dad" but so many people just want to see what their scramble of genetics will pop out and I can't understand why
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I can’t have kids and though I’m mostly glad I don’t have any, being confronted with not having had the choice can really sting. Last week I came into work and two colleagues were there showing off their brand new shiny babies. It honestly made me want to crawl in a hole and die, but I just joined in the congratulations and the ooh’s and awh’s for a bit and went back to work.
Kudos for not knocking someone else's joy. I'm also sorry you didn't get to make the choice for yourself.
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I think it's nice Maria got flowers for mothers day. Iris needs to get her head out her a*s and be happy that Maria's family cared enough to give her a present.
When or if she manages to conceive will she celebrate that fact or will she enjoy Mothers Day because of what she has been lucky enough to be blessed with? Of course she will. It’s a rough ride living through these things but we have to enjoy each others victories and see the joy that’s out there. Yes it’s a difficult thing to do, yes it’s heart breaking but we have to work out our weaknesses and beat them. When the tide comes in we can lift all the boats in the harbour or we can chain them all down and sink ‘em, if you choose to sink them then you can expect others to sink yours too when the time comes……
I lost my one chance at motherhood in a traumatic miscarriage near five years ago. It was the worst experience of my life. For a while, I avoided babies and baby showers quietly. I still have panic attacks and puke at those graphic fetus pictures some activists put up. Mother's Day is always painful for me. However, my mum still got a mother's day card and gift that year, as she always had before and has since. I still celebrate with her because she's my mum. Yes, it's painful. But life is full of disappointments, and at some point you have to accept that. I could see drawing the line at someone having a sonogram picture at their desk. But flowers? That's ridiculous. Someone (perhaps a mental health professional) needs to sit down with Iris and explain that she must live in the world regardless of her own circumstances and teach her some tools to deal with her grief and sensitivities.
You probably already know, and maybe you feel you are too old for mother hood now, but adoption and fostering is still an option, there are plenty of kids in need of a home that you could take care of.
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Wonder if she would have done the same thing if it was an adopted or step-child sending the flowers?
She sounds unhinged enough that she may have. Flowers could not have been the actual trigger; they're everywhere, all the time. A bakery would have cakes and all sorts of reminders. This was about Iris pulling a power move, demanding someone validate her grief in the way she wanted and then having a tantrum when they didn't. She needs mental health intervention NOW. Signed - someone who has been in similar circumstance.
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If OP knew how sencetive Iris was to this she might have said not just Maria can display her flowers but something along the lines of "if Mother's day is such a triggering issue for you, why don't you take hte day off" which might have pre-empted her stress sick leaving early and passive agressive sick day the next day
unfortunately, there's a 99.9% chance that's not her name. in these posts, the names nearly always are changed to an alias
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Iris's behaviour was an act of covert narcissism. Basically, using one's vulnerability as a tool of manipulation. I'll confess I've done it myself in my less self-aware and more toxic days (I've spent years working on ridding myself of that toxicity and becoming a functional, healthy adult with appropriate boundaries). I understand why the OP is confused; good people don't want to increase the pain of a vulnerable person, and Iris appeared to be pretty convincing to the OP that she'd done that. It's easier for us to see because we're outside the situation and didn't have to look at a crying, infertile woman on Mother's Day. The OP also appears to truly care about her employees.
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I've read a few of these "I'm infertile, put away all reminders of my lack of motherhood!" stories, but this one feels a little different. Not that I think OP is wrong, or that Iris is being over-entitled, I do. But in a "middle-aged ladies" environment, that infertility can hit much harder. Most of the other stories have been women in their late 20s to late 30s; a period in which, even if full biological birth is off the table, you would still be of prime age to become an adoptive parent (that's still parenting!). But "middle-aged"? Once you get past a certain point, even fostering and adoption is removed as an option. And your chance at motherhood really hits zero. Iris might need to consider therapy in the near future.
Yeah she's definitely going to need to get help because she cannot expect others to hide kid related events/moments for her feelings. Other people should be able to enjoy what makes them happy without her unhappiness trying to stop them.
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I was cured___________Sure Treatment for herpes!! Please contact: Email R.buckler11 (((@gmail……com))) Thanks for reading!
No one gets a promise that they will or can have a baby. There’s much more in the world than that. Pick yourself up and get on with your life. Like kids? Become a teacher, nurse/doctor, kid charity advocate, government official in depts. dealing with children…there’s so many ways to actually help children. But instead all this one does is hate on woman who have kids. The child she doesn’t have is actually lucky they aren’t stuck with this awful woman!
After recently having had a miscarriage of my own, I can understand wanting sympathy but expecting everyone else around you to fall apart because of your own trauma will get you nothing but a rude awakening.
it's the same logic of "I'm single and lonely so I don't want to see happy couples in public" it's self-centered and immature. sometimes you have to just take a deep breath and understand that the world doesn't revolve around you. just because you're a miserable person doesn't mean that everyone else should be just to make you feel better
I, like many others, feel for Iris. But I'm curious why she doesn't adopt children, since she wants to be a mother so much? I get it's not the same thing as bearing your own child(ren), but that is a win-win for both Iris and the child(ren) she brings into her home.
Her disability does not give her the right to tell others what they can and cannot do. Seek a therapist. Also adoption is an option. Motherhood does not require the egocentricity of that child carrying your genes.
I spent 11 years dealing with infertility, all the horrible treatments, an operation, and it was hell for sure, and yeah Mother's Day could be upsetting, but good lord, you can't be demanding other people not enjoy their children. Just like, I'm vegan now, and does people eating animals around me upset me? Absolutely! But do I tell people not to? Absolutely not!
Uggg I can’t stand people like this. If they really wanted a child, they would adopt.
Depending on where you live, that can be a costly and incredibly difficult process with no guarantees. If your country's laws favour familial reunification, you run the risk of a blood relative of the child taking them back. A former friend of mine raised a little boy for three years (mother was deceased), but the adoption was invalidated when the birth father, who had never cared about the boy before then, suddenly decided he wanted to be dad. So this little boy got wrenched away from the only parents he ever knew, really good and loving people, and he had to go live with a stranger. I'm not saying adoption isn't an option, but it's not as simple as people think.
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The married raper joke from a sexual predator narcissist is exactly why he should be in jail for sexual assault and I mean that completely and 100% truthfully. This isnt a game and Im not playing it.
The problem with these AITA threads that reach my eyes, I don't go searching for them, is the answer is never ambiguous. Any reasonable person would know the answer.
Covert narcissism is a powerful weapon. Iris used her vulnerability (sorrow over infertility) to manipulate and bully Maria and OP. The answer may seem obvious to those of us outside of it, but OP is the one who had to deal with Iris's tears and taking the next day off. Nobody decent wants to harm a vulnerable person, and Iris was obviously very effective in convincing OP that she did. Narcissistic manipulation seriously messes with one's head.
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Oooh, someone learned a new word in a Women's Studies class (nothing against the field itself). Compassion for infertility is not pronatalism. We aren't sad that they haven't given birth; we're sad that they cannot fulfill a major life's wish. Being childfree is a great way to live, and all the more power to those who choose that route. Though it was not my first choice, I'm learning to embrace my own childfree existence. The key here is choice. Every person deserves to freely make that choice for themselves. They don't deserve to be degraded with improperly used feminist terminology (and doing so denigrates feminism as a whole). I don't see any comments suggesting to someone who has expressed a preference for being childfree that they ought to be popping out babies. There is only encouragement for those who already want to. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a mother. Suggesting otherwise just furthers patriarchy and limits our agency over our bodies and lives.
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Do pregnant women have to hide their pregnancy bumps, too? And hide their babies in public? Geez, some people.
Read other stories on Reddit and here. Some women do demand that. I lost my only chance at motherhood in a traumatic miscarriage. It was awful. For the first few little while afterward, I was such a traumatized mess that the world revolved only around me. But I put on my big-girl pants and got into therapy and I learned coping skills and reasonable expectations. My cousins and friends invite me to baby showers; they understand if I choose not to go. I usually make and send a gift. I pray for safe deliveries and send messages of congratulations upon the birth. Sometimes I can handle cuddling the baby, sometimes (usually around my own due date... in a few days I should have a four-year-old) I can't. But I deal with it myself and I don't ever step on anyone else's joy.
Load More Replies... 1. Thank goodness she's not a mother. She doesn't even sound like an adult. This level of reactivity and selfishness is not compatible with being a good parent. 2. Fertility issues arent a barrier to having a child, they are just a barrier to passing on your DNA. If you'd love a child more or less based on DNA, you're unfit to be a parent. I'm fine with people leaving it up to chance, but then you'v 3. If it's going to be a hard day emotionally, don't go to work. Mental health is health and it's ok to not go in. It isn't ok to make a scene and sabotage other people's presents.
you present some very important points! to be a good parent, you have to sacrifice a lot about who you used to be. you can't be selfish if you're providing care for someone that can't thrive without your support. you have to understand that your child isn't an extension of yourself, that they're their own individual person. I can't help but wonder if this woman would insist that others hide their children's athletic achievements if her own hypothetical child was disabled
Load More Replies... I've had a really hard time getting rich. Amazingly all these a-holes are running around flaunting their wealth everywhere I look and no one will make them hide it, so i am triggered and will now call in sick to work because my boss makes more money than me. I'm sorry, I truly know the pain some people go through to conceive, and how many failed attempts, miscarriages, and still births can absolutely destroy a person's very soul. But at the end of the day you can't hide away every parent because it makes you feel sad. This is the sh*tshow we call life, and no, it's not fair, but it's what it is and you can either choose to be offended/triggered by everything and everyone, or you can learn how to healthily cope with your emotions. Too many people take the easy route to blame everyone else for their hurting. I have massive depression, anxiety, panic attacks (living the dream!) but I'd never want someone else hide their happiness to make me feel better.
This is why mental health help needs to be more accessible. I'm glad you're fighting onward.
Load More Replies... My mother was an abusive jackass. Until I had a kid I hated Mother's Day. I hated all the talk of Mother's Day. I hated when people said we should all appreciate our mothers. But never, did I demand other people not celebrate their mothers bc I didn't have that. I just totally avoided church on that day.
Same. My own mother is a terrible person who I'm no contact with. My MIL, whom I adored, passed several years ago. Up until two years ago, I celebrated my Grandma every mother's day. Then she passed. I feel sad not having anyone to celebrate on mothers day, but I don't begrudge anyone else doing so. I didn't have a kind, loving, nurturing mom, but it makes me happy to see that other people do.
Load More Replies... This year was the first year my mother wasn't around for mother's day, she passed 2 months ago. I didn't demand no on mention mother's day, I even bought a card for my bfs mom from both of us. The day of mother's day, I got to ignore the fact that it was mother's day and my mom wasn't with us. It's about being a respectable adult, not a entitled adult.
I think it's time to let Iris go as she is using her own issues to create a toxic environment and attempting to manipulate the rest of the staff through emotional blackmail
I generally advocate for trying to be nice to everyone, but you can't tiptoe around the whole world either. I understand Iris, but she has to understand that not everyone can accommodate to her
I suspect Iris has other issues with Maria, actually. I mean, how does she deal with it when a customer brings their kids in with them? If she's so sensitive that a bouquet on a coworker's desk sets her off, what does she do when confronted with actual children? She's using that as an excuse to bully Maria.
It's called covert narcissism. Using your vulnerability to manipulate other people.
Load More Replies... To be honest, I never understood why some people who desperately want to have kids but can't conceive try to make it everybody else's problem instead of maybe considering adoption .Like, you can fulfill your own dream and give a child home and family, but you prefer to be bitter about your fertility issues. Very sad.
like there are so many children out there that need a home and someone to call "mom" or "dad" but so many people just want to see what their scramble of genetics will pop out and I can't understand why
Load More Replies... I can’t have kids and though I’m mostly glad I don’t have any, being confronted with not having had the choice can really sting. Last week I came into work and two colleagues were there showing off their brand new shiny babies. It honestly made me want to crawl in a hole and die, but I just joined in the congratulations and the ooh’s and awh’s for a bit and went back to work.
Kudos for not knocking someone else's joy. I'm also sorry you didn't get to make the choice for yourself.
Load More Replies... I think it's nice Maria got flowers for mothers day. Iris needs to get her head out her a*s and be happy that Maria's family cared enough to give her a present.
When or if she manages to conceive will she celebrate that fact or will she enjoy Mothers Day because of what she has been lucky enough to be blessed with? Of course she will. It’s a rough ride living through these things but we have to enjoy each others victories and see the joy that’s out there. Yes it’s a difficult thing to do, yes it’s heart breaking but we have to work out our weaknesses and beat them. When the tide comes in we can lift all the boats in the harbour or we can chain them all down and sink ‘em, if you choose to sink them then you can expect others to sink yours too when the time comes……
I lost my one chance at motherhood in a traumatic miscarriage near five years ago. It was the worst experience of my life. For a while, I avoided babies and baby showers quietly. I still have panic attacks and puke at those graphic fetus pictures some activists put up. Mother's Day is always painful for me. However, my mum still got a mother's day card and gift that year, as she always had before and has since. I still celebrate with her because she's my mum. Yes, it's painful. But life is full of disappointments, and at some point you have to accept that. I could see drawing the line at someone having a sonogram picture at their desk. But flowers? That's ridiculous. Someone (perhaps a mental health professional) needs to sit down with Iris and explain that she must live in the world regardless of her own circumstances and teach her some tools to deal with her grief and sensitivities.
You probably already know, and maybe you feel you are too old for mother hood now, but adoption and fostering is still an option, there are plenty of kids in need of a home that you could take care of.
Load More Replies... Wonder if she would have done the same thing if it was an adopted or step-child sending the flowers?
She sounds unhinged enough that she may have. Flowers could not have been the actual trigger; they're everywhere, all the time. A bakery would have cakes and all sorts of reminders. This was about Iris pulling a power move, demanding someone validate her grief in the way she wanted and then having a tantrum when they didn't. She needs mental health intervention NOW. Signed - someone who has been in similar circumstance.
Load More Replies... If OP knew how sencetive Iris was to this she might have said not just Maria can display her flowers but something along the lines of "if Mother's day is such a triggering issue for you, why don't you take hte day off" which might have pre-empted her stress sick leaving early and passive agressive sick day the next day
unfortunately, there's a 99.9% chance that's not her name. in these posts, the names nearly always are changed to an alias
Load More Replies... Iris's behaviour was an act of covert narcissism. Basically, using one's vulnerability as a tool of manipulation. I'll confess I've done it myself in my less self-aware and more toxic days (I've spent years working on ridding myself of that toxicity and becoming a functional, healthy adult with appropriate boundaries). I understand why the OP is confused; good people don't want to increase the pain of a vulnerable person, and Iris appeared to be pretty convincing to the OP that she'd done that. It's easier for us to see because we're outside the situation and didn't have to look at a crying, infertile woman on Mother's Day. The OP also appears to truly care about her employees.
Load More Replies... I've read a few of these "I'm infertile, put away all reminders of my lack of motherhood!" stories, but this one feels a little different. Not that I think OP is wrong, or that Iris is being over-entitled, I do. But in a "middle-aged ladies" environment, that infertility can hit much harder. Most of the other stories have been women in their late 20s to late 30s; a period in which, even if full biological birth is off the table, you would still be of prime age to become an adoptive parent (that's still parenting!). But "middle-aged"? Once you get past a certain point, even fostering and adoption is removed as an option. And your chance at motherhood really hits zero. Iris might need to consider therapy in the near future.
Yeah she's definitely going to need to get help because she cannot expect others to hide kid related events/moments for her feelings. Other people should be able to enjoy what makes them happy without her unhappiness trying to stop them.
Load More Replies... I was cured___________Sure Treatment for herpes!! Please contact: Email R.buckler11 (((@gmail……com))) Thanks for reading!
No one gets a promise that they will or can have a baby. There’s much more in the world than that. Pick yourself up and get on with your life. Like kids? Become a teacher, nurse/doctor, kid charity advocate, government official in depts. dealing with children…there’s so many ways to actually help children. But instead all this one does is hate on woman who have kids. The child she doesn’t have is actually lucky they aren’t stuck with this awful woman!
After recently having had a miscarriage of my own, I can understand wanting sympathy but expecting everyone else around you to fall apart because of your own trauma will get you nothing but a rude awakening.
it's the same logic of "I'm single and lonely so I don't want to see happy couples in public" it's self-centered and immature. sometimes you have to just take a deep breath and understand that the world doesn't revolve around you. just because you're a miserable person doesn't mean that everyone else should be just to make you feel better
I, like many others, feel for Iris. But I'm curious why she doesn't adopt children, since she wants to be a mother so much? I get it's not the same thing as bearing your own child(ren), but that is a win-win for both Iris and the child(ren) she brings into her home.
Her disability does not give her the right to tell others what they can and cannot do. Seek a therapist. Also adoption is an option. Motherhood does not require the egocentricity of that child carrying your genes.
I spent 11 years dealing with infertility, all the horrible treatments, an operation, and it was hell for sure, and yeah Mother's Day could be upsetting, but good lord, you can't be demanding other people not enjoy their children. Just like, I'm vegan now, and does people eating animals around me upset me? Absolutely! But do I tell people not to? Absolutely not!
Uggg I can’t stand people like this. If they really wanted a child, they would adopt.
Depending on where you live, that can be a costly and incredibly difficult process with no guarantees. If your country's laws favour familial reunification, you run the risk of a blood relative of the child taking them back. A former friend of mine raised a little boy for three years (mother was deceased), but the adoption was invalidated when the birth father, who had never cared about the boy before then, suddenly decided he wanted to be dad. So this little boy got wrenched away from the only parents he ever knew, really good and loving people, and he had to go live with a stranger. I'm not saying adoption isn't an option, but it's not as simple as people think.
Load More Replies... The married raper joke from a sexual predator narcissist is exactly why he should be in jail for sexual assault and I mean that completely and 100% truthfully. This isnt a game and Im not playing it.
The problem with these AITA threads that reach my eyes, I don't go searching for them, is the answer is never ambiguous. Any reasonable person would know the answer.
Covert narcissism is a powerful weapon. Iris used her vulnerability (sorrow over infertility) to manipulate and bully Maria and OP. The answer may seem obvious to those of us outside of it, but OP is the one who had to deal with Iris's tears and taking the next day off. Nobody decent wants to harm a vulnerable person, and Iris was obviously very effective in convincing OP that she did. Narcissistic manipulation seriously messes with one's head.
Load More Replies... Oooh, someone learned a new word in a Women's Studies class (nothing against the field itself). Compassion for infertility is not pronatalism. We aren't sad that they haven't given birth; we're sad that they cannot fulfill a major life's wish. Being childfree is a great way to live, and all the more power to those who choose that route. Though it was not my first choice, I'm learning to embrace my own childfree existence. The key here is choice. Every person deserves to freely make that choice for themselves. They don't deserve to be degraded with improperly used feminist terminology (and doing so denigrates feminism as a whole). I don't see any comments suggesting to someone who has expressed a preference for being childfree that they ought to be popping out babies. There is only encouragement for those who already want to. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a mother. Suggesting otherwise just furthers patriarchy and limits our agency over our bodies and lives.
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