Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Maid Of Honor Finds Out Why Her Boyfriend Broke Up With Her, Walks Out Of Best Friend’s Wedding
It’s an honor to be picked as someone’s best man, maid of honor or even just to be selected as a bridesmaid or groomsman. After all, these are roles reserved for the happy couple’s closest folks. But sometimes people discover that they don’t know their friends as well as they think they do.
A woman bailed on being a maid of honor when she learned that her ex cheated on her with the bride. In the fallout of this revelation, parts of the entire wedding fell apart, as OP was highly involved in the planning. So settle in to read through how the drama unfolded and stay tuned for the comments, where some readers gave the maid of honor some advice.
RELATED:
Finding out that your friends are not as loyal as you thought they were is a painful revelation
Image credits: nd3000 (not the actual photo)
A woman learned the very uncomfortable truth from her ex on the eve of her friend’s wedding
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia (not the actual photo)
Image credits: That_Technician_9244
Cheating has always been and still is a major violation of trust in any relationship
Infidelity is by and large one of the more unforgivable “sins” one can commit in a relationship. The fact that Tom is willing to overlook it is quite surprising, as he is marrying a known cheater while OP is willing to break a friendship over it. There are very few reasons society might accept cheating, as even a person in an abusive relationship would be better advised to simply leave instead of trying something on the side.
Research shows that cheating normally requires two components, a collection of feelings and environmental circumstances. A combination of anger, self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, and physical desire might cause the person to consider cheating, while opportunity and the ability to “get away with it” might actually lead the person to commit the deed. While the aforementioned emotions are not really positive, it’s still not an excuse, as one should first fix their existing relationship or simply leave it before trying anything different.
As hard as that might seem, cheating is not a victimless “crime.” It’s better to break up than subject a person to infidelity. Being cheated on often leaves a person with long-lasting trust issues and self-doubt that tends to “bleed into” many of their subsequent relationships. Someone who has been betrayed once will likely fear it for a long time. While OP’s ex didn’t explicitly tell her why he was leaving her, just this uncertainty can be traumatizing. While we don’t know the details, it’s easy to imagine a lot of questioning, low self-esteem, and other issues.
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
OP made the best choice for her own mental health
OP doesn’t detail her own mental state, but studies suggest that her “taking charge” and refusing to participate in the wedding is ultimately healthy for her. In marriages where one partner cheats, the victim of infidelity tends to recover more quickly if they are the ones initiating a divorce. By taking back some amount of control over their own relationships, people can help stave off the loss of self-confidence. While OP was not actually divorcing anyone, skipping this wedding is a good way to build a boundary with a woman who betrayed her.
To pick OP as a MOH is particularly cynical after what Stacy did to her. Perhaps it was some outpouring of guilt, though this would only make the truth worse. In general, while no longer quite as important, the position of MOH and bridesmaids existed to protect the bride during the wedding itself. Just wearing similar clothing to the bride comes from pre-modern China, bridesmaids would act as a sort of decoy in case of bandits attacking.
Commenters supported OP’s decision, as she really did not owe Stacy anything at this point, particularly after the bride “allowed” her to do so much of the planning. While we truly do not know what was going through Stacy’s head, using your “friend” to help plan your wedding after you slept with her boyfriend is unhinged at best and downright evil at worst. The silver lining, if there is any for OP, is that it’s better to get rid of these sorts of friends early, not years down the line when you might need them for help.
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
Readers overwhelmingly sided with OP
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Janelle Collard 2 months ago
OP should have asked Tom if he wanted a quickie to even the score. 😁
Trillian 2 months ago
She's lucky her ex-MOH didn't tell everyone WHY she dropped out of the wedding.
Janelle Collard 2 months ago
Right? Like the above comment that said, do a MOH speech + out the bride fo cheating on her groom.
Load More Replies...
Captive 2 months ago
The audacity of Stacey sleeping with her ex bf and making her MOH. Btw John sucks here too for breaking up without giving a reason. If you screw up, stand and admit it
Binky Melnik 2 months ago (edited)
In my experience, women who catch “their” men talking to/dancing with/having a drink with/going out with/etc blame the woman. It’s not my fault your guy was is talking/whatever with me, yet EVERY SINGLE TIME I’m the one who is yelled at, slapped, or (in one instance, thank cow!) kicked in the forehead. I’m sure there are smarter girls out there who don’t misplace their anger, but I’ve yet to meet one. What the hell are they doing attacking the girl who had NO clue the guy’s in a relationship? And of course these stories in which an attendant is blamed for something the bride herself did are all too common. What are they even doing misplacing their anger? It oughtta be so obvious to EVERYONE what she’s doing, shouldn’t it? And yet we keep seeing versions of this story repeatedly! Sigh.
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 2 months ago
OP should have asked Tom if he wanted a quickie to even the score. 😁
Trillian 2 months ago
She's lucky her ex-MOH didn't tell everyone WHY she dropped out of the wedding.
Janelle Collard 2 months ago
Right? Like the above comment that said, do a MOH speech + out the bride fo cheating on her groom.
Load More Replies... Captive 2 months ago
The audacity of Stacey sleeping with her ex bf and making her MOH. Btw John sucks here too for breaking up without giving a reason. If you screw up, stand and admit it
Binky Melnik 2 months ago (edited)
In my experience, women who catch “their” men talking to/dancing with/having a drink with/going out with/etc blame the woman. It’s not my fault your guy was is talking/whatever with me, yet EVERY SINGLE TIME I’m the one who is yelled at, slapped, or (in one instance, thank cow!) kicked in the forehead. I’m sure there are smarter girls out there who don’t misplace their anger, but I’ve yet to meet one. What the hell are they doing attacking the girl who had NO clue the guy’s in a relationship? And of course these stories in which an attendant is blamed for something the bride herself did are all too common. What are they even doing misplacing their anger? It oughtta be so obvious to EVERYONE what she’s doing, shouldn’t it? And yet we keep seeing versions of this story repeatedly! Sigh.
Load More Replies... You May Like Jealous Mom Demands To Bring Kids On Girls Trip, Friend Says "Absolutely Not" “Spiritual Awakening”: 49 People Who Canceled Their Wedding Last Minute Explain What Happened "Just Walking Away From 16 Years, 4 Kids And Our Life Together": Woman's World Crumbles Over 1 Letter
Ilona Baliūnaitė
Gabija Palšytė
Gabija Palšytė
Related on Bored Panda
7
27