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Wife Apologizes To Husband For Giving Wine To Their Teen Daughter But He Cannot Let Go Of It
Teen drinking is always an important topic. And it’s no smaller when it comes up within the family. Sometimes it can even cause major trouble for family dynamics.
Recently, a Reddit user turned to the r/AITA community to ask if she was wrong for giving her teen daughter a glass of wine after she got into a fight over it with her husband, who has a tragic past related to alcohol.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Teen drinking is no joke and should always be dealt with carefully, especially when it comes to talking about it with teens themselves
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
While watching a movie together, this woman’s daughter asked to have a glass of wine and she allowed it just this once
Image credits: Dazzling_Noise_8886
Dad saw the daughter drinking the wine and got into a fight over it with the mom, who allowed it
The story started when a woman, the OP, was having a glass of wine while watching a movie with her daughter. Suddenly, the daughter asked if she could try some wine. And even though the OP is strict when it comes to alcohol and children, she didn’t think that one glass of wine could hurt a 16-year-old.
When the husband and father came into the room and saw his daughter drinking wine, he lost his mind. He shouted at his wife about why she let her daughter have wine and that she could easily get addicted to it.
The woman apologized to her husband, but it seemed to her that he hadn’t forgiven her. This made her become the OP for a post about this situation, where she asked who was a jerk here.
Some statistics show that the father might be at least partially right in this situation. For example, back in 2021, it was reported that people aged 12-20 drank 3.4% of all alcohol consumed in the United States. And while the number might seem insignificant at first glance, when you understand that these are children, it sounds more scary.
Image credits: JESHOOTS.com (not the actual photo)
And alcohol consumption causes a lot of deaths for people younger than 21. It includes not only overdoses on the beverages but also deaths from things caused by drinking: car crashes, homicides, falls, and so on. Not only that, but also, starting to drink alcohol at a young age can increase the possibility of having alcohol-related problems later in life.
So, maybe there was some weight to the father’s reluctance to give alcohol to his teen daughter. And some folks online agreed. These people agreed that the OP should have consulted the father before making such an important decision related to their child.
But there were some others who were of a whole different opinion. They said that the OP didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, she kind of did a good service to her daughter because not denying alcohol will make her relationship with it better.
Summing it up, let’s say that if the OP came to Reddit looking for a definitive answer to who was the jerk in the situation, she did not find that, as the commenters had as divided opinions as the couple did.
Folks online did not provide the OP with a definitive answer – every commenter had their own take on teen drinking
Image credits: Tim Douglas (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Jill Burrow (not the actual photo)
What do you think ?
Trillian 2 years ago
As a German I can only laugh about this. She's 16. It's a glass of wine. Get a grip.
Multa Nocte 2 years ago
I'm laughing as well in France, living next to a vineyard or 10,000.
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Zedrapazia 2 years ago
European here. In Germany and Switzerland, you can get soft alcohol (such as beer) with 16 and strong alcohol (such as shots and vodka) at 18. It won't do you anything, it's fine, and a good way to introduce her to the concept in a safe place. The biggest temptation is trying something that is forbidden, so it's a good way against her drinking with her friends in secret instead.
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
(I meant the wine doesn't do anything to her, not vodka for example. That's still a bad idea I believe.)
Load More Replies...
ginshun 2 years ago
Your husband needs to lighten up. A 16yo with a glass of wine, sitting at home, with her mother? Pffffft. Give me a break.
CatLady 2 years ago
Daughter was far more damaged by seeing her dad in a rage than having a bit of wine. I'm studying the effects of childhood trauma on brain development. Losing your s**t in front of your kids is harmful to them. And if the dad yells about that, what else does he freak over? The way the mum is worrying "he doesn't trust me anymore" makes me think that hubby is temperamental and controlling.
Load More Replies...
Karen Startz Richardson 2 years ago
When I was a teenager in the mid-1980's, (in USA, not countries where wines are culturally accepted ) we drank illegally & irresponsibly. Upon surviving that, I decided that I'd never take the stance that my parents had , that alcohol was forbidden. Husband & I decided that IF/WHEN an underage curiosity appeared, we, as parents, would offer a SMALL taste of beer/ wine under direct HOME supervision. --Never had a problem with it with any of our kids. I don't regret that parenting decision...if that supervised exposure to alcohol hadn't happened, they would've drank somewhere else...without that safety net in place.
Jesha 2 years ago
Though I understand that it's very tricky given the husband has some trauma, it is far, far healthier that the daughter felt comfortable enough asking mom to try it in her presence than for her to go experimenting with no limitations and supervision and making uninformed decisions. Also most people who drink wine properly don't just fill a giant glass to the top.
SonicAlchemy 2 years ago
A glass of wine and pouring her shots all night are two different things and the father needs to lighten up. Like many have said, I'd rather my son have a firsr beer with me under my supervision than him out with other underage friends partying and getting into trouble, not knowing what to do with himself if he gets too drunk. As many have also said, there's plenty of cultures and countries with different traditions and drinking ages. I went to college in Arkansas. Every friend I had from the south, their parents allowed the older teenagers in the family to drink at family functions and holidays because they were supervised and it's just a part of their culture and lifestyle.
CatLady 2 years ago
My nephew came of age during Covid. His parents offered him alcohol younger, but he wanted to wait till 18. We had a "pub night" for his birthday where I made steak and Guinness pies and Scotch eggs and other traditional British pub foods. And he had a few beers with his parents and aunties and grandparents and siblings with him, lovingly giving him gifts (each kid gets $1800 on their 18th from my folks) and just making it a nice night celebrating him. He's 20 now; likes a beer or two once in a while, that's it. You take the mystery and forbidden out, kids are much more mature about it.
Load More Replies... 
Betty Vanderhooven-SchmaaSchmaa 2 years ago
I'd rather have my daughter know what a slight buzz wine gives while I'm with her than for her to experience it somewhere she's not safe.
CatLady 2 years ago
Good bloody grief. She's sixteen! Any kid in Europe would be drinking full-strength wine by then. A small portion in a safe environment is exactly how you introduce kids to alcohol. Freaking out that a few sips will get her addicted is just American Reefer Madness c**p. Wanna know how to NOT raise alcoholics? Don't make it a big deal or a forbidden fruit they feel they must sneak. And don't expose them to ridiculous arguments like "Dad is enraged Mum gave me a bit of wine." Children with temperamental parents have a higher likelihood of substance abuse issues. And if hubby freaks over that, I wonder what else he yells about.
Paul C. 2 years ago (edited)
I grew up in my Grandfathers restaurant with alcohol all around me. I was aloud a small amount during meals or family gatherings from about the age of ten. Once tried, most of the time I preferred a soft drink. But as I grew I enjoyed and appreciated the different tastes of wine or when sixteen or seventeen...shock horror, spirits. It truly gave me a better view on drinking than most of my age, who were desperate to drink behind their parents backs. Most of my mates parents were ok with them having a drink at our restaurant/house gatherings because it was all in a safe environment. Edit, this was in the UK.
Trillian 2 years ago
As a German I can only laugh about this. She's 16. It's a glass of wine. Get a grip.
Multa Nocte 2 years ago
I'm laughing as well in France, living next to a vineyard or 10,000.
Load More Replies... Zedrapazia 2 years ago
European here. In Germany and Switzerland, you can get soft alcohol (such as beer) with 16 and strong alcohol (such as shots and vodka) at 18. It won't do you anything, it's fine, and a good way to introduce her to the concept in a safe place. The biggest temptation is trying something that is forbidden, so it's a good way against her drinking with her friends in secret instead.
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
(I meant the wine doesn't do anything to her, not vodka for example. That's still a bad idea I believe.)
Load More Replies... ginshun 2 years ago
Your husband needs to lighten up. A 16yo with a glass of wine, sitting at home, with her mother? Pffffft. Give me a break.
CatLady 2 years ago
Daughter was far more damaged by seeing her dad in a rage than having a bit of wine. I'm studying the effects of childhood trauma on brain development. Losing your s**t in front of your kids is harmful to them. And if the dad yells about that, what else does he freak over? The way the mum is worrying "he doesn't trust me anymore" makes me think that hubby is temperamental and controlling.
Load More Replies... Karen Startz Richardson 2 years ago
When I was a teenager in the mid-1980's, (in USA, not countries where wines are culturally accepted ) we drank illegally & irresponsibly. Upon surviving that, I decided that I'd never take the stance that my parents had , that alcohol was forbidden. Husband & I decided that IF/WHEN an underage curiosity appeared, we, as parents, would offer a SMALL taste of beer/ wine under direct HOME supervision. --Never had a problem with it with any of our kids. I don't regret that parenting decision...if that supervised exposure to alcohol hadn't happened, they would've drank somewhere else...without that safety net in place.
Jesha 2 years ago
Though I understand that it's very tricky given the husband has some trauma, it is far, far healthier that the daughter felt comfortable enough asking mom to try it in her presence than for her to go experimenting with no limitations and supervision and making uninformed decisions. Also most people who drink wine properly don't just fill a giant glass to the top.
SonicAlchemy 2 years ago
A glass of wine and pouring her shots all night are two different things and the father needs to lighten up. Like many have said, I'd rather my son have a firsr beer with me under my supervision than him out with other underage friends partying and getting into trouble, not knowing what to do with himself if he gets too drunk. As many have also said, there's plenty of cultures and countries with different traditions and drinking ages. I went to college in Arkansas. Every friend I had from the south, their parents allowed the older teenagers in the family to drink at family functions and holidays because they were supervised and it's just a part of their culture and lifestyle.
CatLady 2 years ago
My nephew came of age during Covid. His parents offered him alcohol younger, but he wanted to wait till 18. We had a "pub night" for his birthday where I made steak and Guinness pies and Scotch eggs and other traditional British pub foods. And he had a few beers with his parents and aunties and grandparents and siblings with him, lovingly giving him gifts (each kid gets $1800 on their 18th from my folks) and just making it a nice night celebrating him. He's 20 now; likes a beer or two once in a while, that's it. You take the mystery and forbidden out, kids are much more mature about it.
Load More Replies... Betty Vanderhooven-SchmaaSchmaa 2 years ago
I'd rather have my daughter know what a slight buzz wine gives while I'm with her than for her to experience it somewhere she's not safe.
CatLady 2 years ago
Good bloody grief. She's sixteen! Any kid in Europe would be drinking full-strength wine by then. A small portion in a safe environment is exactly how you introduce kids to alcohol. Freaking out that a few sips will get her addicted is just American Reefer Madness c**p. Wanna know how to NOT raise alcoholics? Don't make it a big deal or a forbidden fruit they feel they must sneak. And don't expose them to ridiculous arguments like "Dad is enraged Mum gave me a bit of wine." Children with temperamental parents have a higher likelihood of substance abuse issues. And if hubby freaks over that, I wonder what else he yells about.
Paul C. 2 years ago (edited)
I grew up in my Grandfathers restaurant with alcohol all around me. I was aloud a small amount during meals or family gatherings from about the age of ten. Once tried, most of the time I preferred a soft drink. But as I grew I enjoyed and appreciated the different tastes of wine or when sixteen or seventeen...shock horror, spirits. It truly gave me a better view on drinking than most of my age, who were desperate to drink behind their parents backs. Most of my mates parents were ok with them having a drink at our restaurant/house gatherings because it was all in a safe environment. Edit, this was in the UK.
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