Woman Ruins Relationship With Her BF By “Testing” Him, Doesn’t Think She’s Done Anything Wrong

If there is no trust, there is no relationship, and Reddit user GrowingGames45 feels like his girlfriend has just shattered his.

In a candid post on r/Relationship_Advice, the guy said that the coworker he had been interacting with on Instagram turned out to be his partner, testing his loyalty.

Disappointed and hurt by such a move, he asked the internet if he should follow his gut feeling and break up with her, or give her another chance.

When this man received a follow request from his coworker, he started to wonder if it was really her behind the account

Man sitting on a porch, focused on his phone, surrounded by plants, wearing a denim shirt and silver watch.

Image credits: Jeferson Santu / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

And his suspicion was right: it was actually his girlfriend testing him

Text discussing GF catfishing BF as a prank, affecting their relationship.

Text screenshot about attending a work event and meeting a co-worker from a different branch.

Text message discussing GF testing BF's loyalty, mentions "work wife" and questions about a coworker.

Text about testing a boyfriend's loyalty using a fake Instagram account for reassurance.

Hand holding phone browsing Instagram with coffee, testing BF's loyalty online.

Image credits: Kerde Severin / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text detailing a girlfriend's test of her boyfriend's loyalty using a fake Instagram account.

Text from story about girlfriend testing boyfriend's loyalty with a fake Instagram account.

Text discussing a non-private, normal IG account with swimsuit photos among other pictures.

Text from a story about testing a boyfriend's loyalty using a fake Instagram account.

Girlfriend holding phone, tests boyfriend's loyalty; couple in a serious conversation by a window.

Image credits: Rawpixel / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)

Text about a girlfriend testing her boyfriend's loyalty through a fake Instagram account.

Text of a relationship argument about trust and loyalty, discussing a fake IG test.

Text message discussion about testing BF's loyalty with a fake IG account, leading to conflict over manipulation.

Text about testing boyfriend's loyalty using fake Instagram account.

Image credits: GrowingGames45

Image credits: EmilyStock / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Experts advise against loyalty tests

So-called “loyalty tests” have been blowing up on social media, where people offer to “evaluate” your partner by flirting with them, sometimes over the internet and sometimes in person. If your significant other flirts back − or worse, makes plans to meet up − they fail, and you supposedly have every justification to end the relationship. The trend has even spawned entire businesses offering to do it professionally.

However, is such a scheme the best way to promote honesty? Lisa Brateman, psychotherapist and author of What Are We Really Fighting About? How to Transform Conflicts into Conversations, doesn’t think so.

“Testing loyalty is the opposite of trust,” she told Bored Panda. “It can also show that you are untrustworthy [yourself].

“Although it is important to know the truth, how you go about learning the truth should enhance your relationship, not potentially sabotage it.”

The pain that would push a person to want to investigate their partner’s dedication can be very real, but true security in a relationship comes from both people feeling safe enough to share their genuine thoughts and emotions, even on difficult issues.

“Trust is the cornerstone and foundation that provides couples the ability to feel safe,” Brateman said. “Create a space to have an honest conversation about any concerns you have about the relationship rather than resort to tricks or tests.

“Heartfelt communication will inspire closeness and strengthen trust. Taking responsibility for past mistakes instead of covering them up, or blaming someone else and apologizing for the pain they caused will promote healing and … the loyalty you seek.”

The psychotherapist highlighted that trust is strengthened by consistency, vulnerability, honesty, and actively listening to your partner. “Trust is earned over time,” she said, “[and] white lies are still lies. Honesty isn’t always pretty, but it does inspire trust.”

Most of the people who read the guy’s story supported him and his wish to end the relationship

Comments discussing a girlfriend testing her boyfriend's loyalty with a fake Instagram account.

Reddit comments discussing testing loyalty with a fake Instagram account.

Reddit comments about testing boyfriend's loyalty with a fake IG account, discussing relationship trust issues.

Reddit comment on girlfriend testing boyfriend's loyalty with fake Instagram account.

Comment criticizing a girlfriend's loyalty test of her boyfriend using a fake Instagram account.

Reddit comment criticizing a girlfriend for testing her boyfriend's loyalty with a fake Instagram account.

Comment criticizing a girlfriend's decision to test her boyfriend’s loyalty with a fake account.

Reddit comment criticizing a girlfriend's fake Instagram account test of her boyfriend's loyalty.

Text about a fake IG account, discussing relationship issues and potential misuse of personal information.

Reddit user comments on testing boyfriend's loyalty, addressing catfishing concerns and derogatory terms about a coworker.

Text comment reacting to a girlfriend testing her boyfriend's loyalty using a fake Instagram account.

Text on a social media post discussing a girlfriend testing a boyfriend's loyalty using a fake Instagram account.

Comment on loyalty test discussion: "She's not partner material.

Reddit comment discussing consequences of girlfriend testing boyfriend's loyalty with a fake IG account.

But some thought he was overreacting

Reddit comment about relationship tests and the importance of trust and forgiveness.

Text discussing trust issues in relationships and testing loyalty with a fake Instagram account.

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