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Marriage Hits A Breaking Point As Man’s Weaponized Incompetence Backfires On Him, Wife Is Fed Up
Marriage Hits A Breaking Point As Man’s Weaponized Incompetence Backfires On Him, Wife Is Fed Up

Marriage Hits A Breaking Point As Man’s Weaponized Incompetence Backfires On Him, Wife Is Fed Up

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You know those people who suddenly become hopelessly bad at something just when it’s their turn to do it? It’s like watching someone “forget” how a dishwasher works or act like boiling some pasta requires a master’s degree. Convenient, right? It’s a clever little trick to dodge responsibility and make sure someone else picks up the slack.

One mom took to Reddit to spill some piping hot tea about her husband’s creative approach to avoid responsibility. And let’s just say, if weaponized incompetence were an Olympic sport, this guy might be going for gold.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    If weaponized incompetence were an Olympic sport, some folks would get a gold medal without even trying

    Man lounging on sofa with a vacuum cleaner, demonstrating weaponized incompetence in a living room setting.

    Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    One woman considers divorcing her husband after he pretends to be very sick just so he doesn’t have to take the kids to daycare

    Text expressing frustration over husband's weaponized incompetence, wife considering divorce.

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    Text discussing a son's audiology appointment, linked to husband's weaponized incompetence.

    Text discussing husband taking children to daycare, highlighting issues of weaponized incompetence in relationships.

    Man lying in bed, appearing frustrated, illustrating weaponized incompetence in relationships.

    Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    The woman wakes up early for work and asks her husband to take the kids to the doctor and daycare, but he says he is very sick and can’t get out of bed

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    Text exchange discussing morning routine and frustration over husband's alleged incompetence.

    Text discussing a husband's refusal to take kids to daycare due to feeling sick, showcasing weaponized incompetence.

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    Text about husband’s incompetence causing missed appointments and issues with childcare and work.

    Doctor examining young girl's ear with otoscope in a medical setting.

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    Image credits: uprevich / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    When she returns from work, the woman finds the house spotless and freshly-cleaned, but her husband is not sick in bed, he is out shopping

    Text message exchange highlighting husband's weaponized incompetence.

    Text conversation showing an example of weaponized incompetence in a relationship.

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    Text expressing frustration over weaponized incompetence in relationships.

    Text image discussing thoughts on a husband's behavior, mentioning unfairness and considering major life changes.

    Image credits: Electrical_Cat_131

    Fed up with her husband’s weaponized incompetence, which is actually a repetitive pattern, the woman considers leaving him because of it

    The OP (original poster) started her day at 6 a.m., as most moms do, waking up ready to tackle her shift at work. With her toddler’s audiology appointment scheduled for 8 a.m., she’d passed the baton to her husband to handle the drop-off duties. Easy, right? Wrong.

    The husband claimed he was too sick to function, complete with sweating, a sore ear, and what sounded like a PhD-level case of “man flu.” Our supermom suggested he handle the morning duties anyway and then spend the rest of the day recovering in bed.

    But nope, this dude flat-out refused, leaving her scrambling to take the kids to daycare and to the doctor, then get to work, running late because of his sudden, but very convenient “illness.”

    At the end of the day, our mom went home, expecting to find her husband pitifully bedridden. But instead, he was casually at the grocery store, having miraculously recovered enough to go shopping and clean the house until it was spotless. I don’t know which miracle pill he took, but I sure would love to know the name of it.

    The OP confesses that this behavior is part of a pattern, leaving her feeling more like a solo parent than an equal partner. And honestly, it’s no wonder she’s contemplating pulling the plug on the relationship. After all, there’s only so much weaponized incompetence a wife can take.

    Upset woman with hand on forehead, symbolizing frustration over husband’s weaponized incompetence at home.

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    So, what is weaponized incompetence? It’s when someone deliberately performs a task poorly, or pretends they can’t do it at all, to avoid responsibility. Think: “Oops, I can’t fold the laundry right!” or “I burnt the meat last time, are you sure you want me to cook dinner?”

    The pros say that this manipulation technique is especially harmful for the kids, as it teaches them toxic behavior by showing them that one parent has no responsibility. The result? The other partner picks up the slack, creating an unequal dynamic that just breeds resentment.

    But that’s not how a marriage works, now is it? Marriage should be a team effort, not a solo act. In other words, Supermom isn’t a nag—she’s just burned out, and understandably so. After all, when you start to feel like you’re parenting your partner, it might be time to reconsider things. And our OP did too, considering leaving her husband for his attitude.

    When it’s time to end a marriage, there are a few signs that are hard to ignore. If every conversation turns into a fight, you feel more like roommates than partners, or your mental health is taking a hit, it might be time to reassess.

    Sure, all relationships take work, but they shouldn’t feel like a full-time job with overtime. If your partner consistently makes you feel undervalued, unsupported, or downright miserable, it’s worth considering whether staying together is doing more harm than good. After all, life’s too short to spend it picking up someone else’s slack.

    What’s your take on this story? Share your comments below!

    Netizens say the man is a jerk for pretending to be sick to get out of parenting duties, encouraging the woman to stop enabling him

    Reddit comment discussing handling children's daycare responsibilities with a man-child husband.

    Reddit comment discussing weaponized incompetence in marriage dynamics.

    Text comment about partner's lack of basic responsibility and its impact on family dynamics.

    Screenshot of a comment discussing weaponized incompetence in a relationship.

    Text screenshot about husband using weaponized incompetence in a relationship discussion.

    Comment discussing free time gained from leaving a man-child husband.

    Text on image discussing humor in a child's quick recovery, referencing weaponized incompetence in relationships.

    Reddit comment discussing husband's weaponized incompetence and lack of improvement.

    Text exchange discussing divorce due to weaponized incompetence, highlighting marital struggles.

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    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

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    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

    What do you think ?
    LonelyLittleLeafSheep
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Help" with the kids?! It's called PARENTING and he's responsible for taking care of his own children, sick or not. Since he's incapable of behaving like an adult, kick his a*s to the curb; it'll be less work!

    Lyoness
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's exactly that kind of subconscious mindset that needs to change. Partners are equally responsible for the little people they create.

    Load More Replies...
    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's already living like a single mother, she'd might as well become one. Because this wasn't weaponized incompetence, this was an a$$hat who doesn't care about his wife or kids.

    Bi.Felicia
    Community Member
    Premium
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately I can relate, a little too much, to this story. My ex husband sounds a lot like this tool here. He never wanted to do things with his 2 boys, unless I went with them. We were both full-time college students, at one point and we had planned to take turns getting everyone out of the house for a few to several hours, so the other can study/schoolwork. Every time I needed to study and he was to take the kids out, he would be blowing up my phone, the entire time asking questions or just aggravating me, only for him to be back in an hour or two. Unless he went to his mom's or out with his parents, bc they would help him take care of the kids, but I would be out all day, with them by myself. He also never gave the youngest, a bath, until our son was 10 months old! and this is only because his mother made him do it. My ex was/is useless, in every damn component of life and I was doing everything by myself, anyway, he was like having a third child, sometimes. I filed for divorce.

    Load More Comments
    LonelyLittleLeafSheep
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Help" with the kids?! It's called PARENTING and he's responsible for taking care of his own children, sick or not. Since he's incapable of behaving like an adult, kick his a*s to the curb; it'll be less work!

    Lyoness
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's exactly that kind of subconscious mindset that needs to change. Partners are equally responsible for the little people they create.

    Load More Replies...
    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's already living like a single mother, she'd might as well become one. Because this wasn't weaponized incompetence, this was an a$$hat who doesn't care about his wife or kids.

    Bi.Felicia
    Community Member
    Premium
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately I can relate, a little too much, to this story. My ex husband sounds a lot like this tool here. He never wanted to do things with his 2 boys, unless I went with them. We were both full-time college students, at one point and we had planned to take turns getting everyone out of the house for a few to several hours, so the other can study/schoolwork. Every time I needed to study and he was to take the kids out, he would be blowing up my phone, the entire time asking questions or just aggravating me, only for him to be back in an hour or two. Unless he went to his mom's or out with his parents, bc they would help him take care of the kids, but I would be out all day, with them by myself. He also never gave the youngest, a bath, until our son was 10 months old! and this is only because his mother made him do it. My ex was/is useless, in every damn component of life and I was doing everything by myself, anyway, he was like having a third child, sometimes. I filed for divorce.

    Load More Comments
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