Woman Is Blamed For “Gatekeeping Childcare” Because She Refused To Keep Doing It For Free

They say you can never have too much of a good thing because of the undesirable outcomes that typically follow. That may apply to many aspects of life, whether it’s enjoying top-notch sushi, maintaining proper water intake, or engaging in regular exercise. 

Showing kindness to others is also part of that list. Give a little too much of your time and resources, and you may find yourself getting taken advantage of by the very people you tried to help out. In some cases, it includes people you’re related to. 

A woman learned this lesson the hard way after her sister repeatedly forced her into watching her kids. Fed up with the entitlement, she sent an invoice for a babysitting fee. And as you might expect, it erupted in a full-blown drama that involved the entire family. 

Being too kind has its definite drawbacks

Frustrated mom multitasking with children at table, highlighting challenges of relying on sister as free babysitter.

Image credits: gpointstudio / Envato (not the actual photo)

A woman had been too accommodating toward her sister, who would drop off her kids unannounced for an impromptu babysiting favor

Text post about a mom invoicing her sister for babysitting after repeated unplanned childcare requests.

Mom expects sister as free babysitter 24/7 but faces a reality check with a $312 childcare bill.

Text showing a mom texting her sister a thank you while making toast and finding tiny socks before meetings start.

Text image with a quote about sibling love and setting boundaries related to babysitting expectations.

Mom tries using sister as free babysitter early morning despite requests, receives reality check with unexpected $312 bill.

Text showing a mom recounting challenges of babysitting kids including spilled yogurt, marker mishaps, and missed calls.

Text showing a mom expecting free babysitting from her sister 24/7, later receiving a reality check with a $312 bill.

Text explaining the high cost of using a sister as a free babysitter with extra food, cleaning, and lost freelance time.

Text showing a $312 itemized invoice sent to a mom as a reality check for using her sister as a free babysitter.

Woman in red blouse looking shocked at her phone, representing a mom receiving a surprising babysitting bill.

Image credits: 2designbcn / Envato (not the actual photo)

She decided to charge an inconvenience fee, which casued a major rift within the entire family

Text conversation about a mom expecting free babysitting from her sister, who responds with a $312 bill reality check.

Mom expects free babysitting 24/7 from sister but receives a $312 bill as a reality check on childcare boundaries.

Text showing a dispute where a mom uses her sister as a free babysitter 24/7 and receives a $312 babysitting bill.

Image credits: paintedfinch

People who are too agreeable may be susceptible to narcissistic family manipulation

As children, we were all taught to be kind to others. It often manifests in an agreeable personality, which, according to psychology professor Dr. Ronald Riggio, makes people more susceptible to being exploited. As he noted in an article for Psychology Today, empathy, in this case, may be detrimental.

“The desire to get along with others can lead to being taken advantage of by unscrupulous, high-pressure salespersons or even potential romantic partners,” Dr. Riggio wrote. 

In the author’s case, she became a target of narcissistic family manipulation. According to Certified Gottman Therapist David Lechnyr, LCSW, one way it happens is when a relative questions a person’s loyalty. 

In an article for his website, Lechnyr explained that these toxic family members may redefine loyalty as compliance, and any resistance is perceived as a form of “betrayal.” 

“When your family member accuses you of betraying the family for setting healthy boundaries, it can shake you to your core,” Lenchyr writes, stating that some may even resort to emotional blackmail. 

In such cases, the advice from most experts will typically focus on setting boundaries. It may be a tall ask for some people, but ultimately, it’s about learning when to say no. 

According to Taylor Counseling Group, difficult family members will likely be caught off guard upon hearing the first no, but it is an excellent and effective start. 

The author may have added an extra sting with the invoice, but it was her way of sending a strong message that she was no longer tolerating her sister’s entitled behavior. In this situation, such actions were indeed called for. 

People in the comments offered their unfiltered reactions and suggestions

Screenshot of an online comment about a mom using her sister as a free babysitter and receiving a $312 babysitting bill.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a mom expecting free babysitting and receiving a $312 bill as a reality check.

Screenshot of a text comment discussing a mom expecting her sister to be a free babysitter and a $312 babysitting bill reality check.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a mom expecting her sister as a free babysitter and the resulting $312 bill reality check.

Comment on a forum discussing family helping with babysitting and unexpected charges, highlighting a $312 babysitter bill reality check.

Comment explaining the mom was taking advantage of her sister as a free babysitter and suggesting setting boundaries or charging babysitting fees.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment advising to change locks to prevent sister from being used as a free babysitter.

Screenshot of an online comment advising about babysitting boundaries after a mom expects free childcare and faces a $312 bill.

Screenshot of an online comment suggesting a security lock to enforce babysitting boundaries after a $312 bill dispute.

Alt text: Online discussion about mom expecting sister as free babysitter and getting a reality check with a costly bill.

Alt text: Advice on setting boundaries and charging a sister for free babysitting after a $312 babysitting bill dispute

Text message warning about free babysitter misuse and a $312 bill reality check from a mom’s sister.

Comment about mom using sister as free babysitter, setting boundaries, and dealing with a $312 bill reality check.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment advising to change the locks urgently after a babysitting dispute involving a $312 bill.

Text comment about changing locks and installing cameras, related to babysitting and getting a reality check with a $312 bill.

Comment on parenting advice discussing consequences of expecting a sister to be a free babysitter 24/7.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment about family helping family and setting boundaries with free babysitting expectations.

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