"No, we can’t name her that because there was a girl in middle school by that name who bullied me. No, no, that’s my cousin’s name. That rhymes with a bad word, and kids will definitely figure it out by second grade. No, I don’t like that name. That’s too common. That’s too long and difficult to spell. I give up! Let’s just make up a name!"

If you’re a parent, there is a good chance you’re familiar with the experience of spending months searching high and low for the perfect name for your little one. Choosing a name can be extremely daunting at first, when you’re unsure of what will be common or popular 5, 10, or 50 years from now, and if you had to deal with name-based bullying as a child, you want to protect your kids from the same fate. But when in doubt, I always like to say “better safe than sorry”. Because if you get too creative with your child’s name, you might end up paying the price by being mocked online…

Below, we’ve gathered some of our favorite posts from the Name Nerds Jerks subreddit that is dedicated to name-shaming, as well as an interview with the group's moderator team to gain some insight about the community. As its description states, “No name is safe.” So be sure to upvote all of the posts featuring names that you can’t believe are actually on birth certificates somewhere out there, and then let us know in the comments what the most ridiculous baby names you’ve ever heard are.

Keep reading to also find an interview with Sherri Suzanne, professional baby name consultant and founder of My Name For Life. Enjoy this list of names that we can only hope are satire, and then if you are looking for suggestions to send your arch-enemy when they are naming their next child, check out Bored Panda’s last article on this same subreddit right here.

#1

Louder For The R/Namenerds At The Back

Louder For The R/Namenerds At The Back

Express_Roof_2385 Report

Ember
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so true. What may seem cute for a baby is much less so when being bullied at school or wanting to be taken seriously as an adult.

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To learn more about how the Name Nerds Jerks group began, we reached out to the moderator team on Reddit. "This sub started as a joke - there was a post on the main Name Nerds sub that inspired me to comment about how we needed [another] sub," one of the moderators, Kydashian, told Bored Panda. "Meg (another moderator) responded that she made it, and then my exact comment was 'mod me, daddy'. Boom, new sub."

"I don’t think either of us ever thought there were going to be this many like-minded jerks, but it has been so much fun! I think our community has taken off because it’s a place where you can truly be honest and have other people chime in," Kydashian explained. "If you ask your cousin what they named their baby and they respond with something ridiculous, you’re probably going to smile and say something kind. However, you bring that name to our subreddit, and we’re all going to laugh with you. Like any subreddit, there are some 'go-to comments' that show up on the main, that we will comment as a joke and it’s just a fun place to laugh at the absurdity of it all. I dare you to post 'I’m thinking of Juniper' and let the sub tell you what they think. I think we’re a good outlet for some people to be able to joke around and let off steam over some petty things."

#2

Son Of A Ditch

Son Of A Ditch

ClearBrightLight Report

LuckyL
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love and hate everything about this!

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We also asked if they had any advice for people considering making up a name for their children. "Thinking of naming your kid something unique that you made up? [We] have one piece of advice: Don’t."

"But seriously - children grow up to have their own full adult lives and will have to sign their mortgage, apply for jobs, and have professional relationships for the majority of their lives," Kydashian shared. "Keep that in mind!"

The group is lighthearted and fun, but the moderators raise some valid points. Please don't make your children's lives easier the second you name them.

#3

~*literaleigh*~

~*literaleigh*~

giglbox06 Report

Lea Panthera
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm honestleigh realleigh sick of people giving their children extremeleigh stupid names. This includes adding "-leigh" unnecessarileigh to the end of female names. I find it incredibleigh stupid and lacking sense.

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To gain some insight from a baby naming expert, we reached out to professional baby name consultant and founder of My Name For Life, Sherri Suzanne. First, we wanted to hear what inspired Sherri to get into this field. "I’ve had a lifelong passion for onomastics (study of names) and started my name database at age 7 and still use it today!" Sherri told Bored Panda. "Names are like art—they represent different styles and cultures and sounds and looks. I collect names like some people collect sculpture or painting."

"I’ve been naming since elementary school—family members, dolls, pets—for anyone I could pester to let me help," Sherri says. "I was managing editor of magazine in New York when I first assisted a pregnant co-worker name her child. She mentioned it to another mom-to-be who mentioned it to another until I was helping parents by word of mouth quietly throughout the Nineties. I began to formalize my procedures in the 2000s and brought my services to the web about 12 years ago."

#4

Or There’s Always Natalawn

Or There’s Always Natalawn

trottinghobbit Report

We also asked Sherri why she thinks there is a trend of naming children strange names. "To be honest, many of the most peculiar names people cite to me are the stuff of urban legends," she told Bored Panda. "I think they enjoy seeing my reaction. Having said that, there have always been parents who stretch the envelope when it comes to naming. But I think more parents are being adventurous namers nowadays as a result of being exposed to a variety of tastes and styles via the internet. Add in the fact that many pop-culture figures have names 'outside the box', and you can see the temptation for many parents to join in."

"In truth, while originality and individuality are part of 21st-century culture, the overwhelming majority of parents want their child to stand out but also to fit in," Sherri explained.

We also asked if she thinks parents should have complete free range when it comes to naming their kids. "In general, I’m not in favor of imposing regulations," she shared. "But I absolutely think common sense must prevail! The Golden Rule is to name selflessly, putting the child first."

#5

SpeedyakaLeah Report

Lea Panthera
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lemme guess: the next one's going to be Simba Charming if it's a boy, and Tiana Snow if it's a girl.

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We also wanted to hear from the expert how parents can strike the perfect balance of picking a unique name that will stand the test of time without going too far out of the box. "As I mentioned, it’s a challenge for modern parents to help their child stand out while fitting in," Sherri said. "One of the most requested name types in my practice nowadays are familiar names that have fallen out of use. These names give just the right touch of originality while remaining comfortable. However, I use lots of techniques to help parents bring individuality to a child’s name—from picking names in ancestral languages to finding names in literature, history and art."

#6

Hureigh!

Hureigh!

notgonnatakethison Report

So what are the most important factors parents must keep in mind when naming their children? According to Sherri, "Our future success depends on our ability to introduce ourselves with confidence. So parents can be creative if they wish but also be practical and sensitive. No names that form jokes, rhymes, puns or phrases. Express individuality in 'I’m Sofia with an ‘f’--not Sophia.' I’m cautioning against creating a spelling like Sofeeyuh just to be different. If you want to be original, better to just pick an uncommon name. A name that seems nice on paper may not work well in daily life. Lift name candidates off the page and test them out loud to make sure they can be said easily and with confidence. Pick a name you like to say. You’ll be saying it a LOT."

Lastly, Sherri added, "To older children and adults with ‘adventurous’ names: If your parents gifted you with an attention-grabbing name that you love, then go ahead and embrace it! However, if your name is a source of pain and insecurity, remember that we each have power over what we are called. Short of name-changing, remember that nicknames, middle names and initials are all ways to tame a wild first name."

If you'd like more naming words of wisdom from Sherri or to learn about what the most popular names are right now, be sure to check out My Name For Life right here.

#7

This Sub Has Ruined Me. I Saw This And Immediately Started Thinking Up Nicknames

This Sub Has Ruined Me. I Saw This And Immediately Started Thinking Up Nicknames

SuedeBlade Report

#8

✨Pia✨

✨Pia✨

celiab3delia Report

Lea Panthera
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Hi, my name is Pakistan International Airlines. Pleasure to meet you." "Are you Pakistani?" "No, I'm American and my parents are idiots."

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#9

Someone’s A Superfan

Someone’s A Superfan

Mapper9 Report

It’s amazing that some of the baby names on this list were actually signed off on for multiple reasons, one of which being that both parents agreed on the name. Of course, not every child has two parents around at birth. But every parent should have a few family members or close friends that they discussed their baby names with as well. Yet somehow, there are children out there named Abcde and Imunique. According to one survey though, Kinzleighanne probably did not get her name overnight. Apparently, 75% of first-time parents argue over what to name their child. In fact, baby names are the number one thing expecting parents argue over, beating out whether or not the mother should return to work and whether or not to have a second child by a longshot. 

And when it comes to why baby names have become so loose over recent years, Laura Wattenberg, creator of BabyNameWizard.com told Today, “I liken baby names to the dress code. We’ve thrown away the office dress code when it comes to naming. We’ve seen a revolution in naming where there is no such thing as a ‘normal’ name. And, while there is still a number one name, it’s only a fraction as popular as the number one name was years ago.”

#10

Grandma Jr

Grandma Jr

catnatomy Report

Ember
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m guessing (and hoping) that this is sarcasm

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#11

Rock, Middle Name Bob

Rock, Middle Name Bob

Catalyst138 Report

Laura Ketteridge
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For goodness sake, call the child 'Robert', and shorten it to 'Bob'. If you really want a 'rock' name, add in 'Petros' as a middle name.

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After the initial excitement of finding out you’re expecting a child wears off, it’s time to start discussing names. And while most parents like to wait until they know the gender to start narrowing down names, it can still become a very heated topic. So if your partner starts suggesting names like Tryxtynn or Drittney, Carrie Felton of Stuck On You recommends a few ways you can shoot down their suggestions without causing a fight. She suggests creating a no-go list from the beginning and agreeing on a set number of ‘vetoes’ that you and your partner both get, so nobody starts getting their hopes up about a name that the other person truly hates. But when you’ve narrowed down the list a bit and there are still names you would like to discard, here are a few ways to turn your partner off to those names. One suggestion that might be questionable but should certainly do the trick is telling your partner about a past lover who had that name. “Allow your eyes to glaze over while you coo dreamily about that magical night you spent with a hot surfer named Humphrey,” Carrie explains.

Another tactic Carrie suggests for deterring your partner from fighting for a name you despise is to do your research about famous disgraced athletes, murderers, drug smugglers, etc. with that name. If you can convince them that many people will have a negative association with that name, you might be able to persuade them to start looking for other options. Finally, she says that good old-fashioned guilt can usually do the trick too. Both partners should love and be excited about the child’s name, so there is no point in settling on a name that one person won’t be thrilled to share with their friends and family. And as Carrie adds, “Depending on where you live, you will have about two months to finalize your baby’s name after birth so there’s no huge rush.” If, for some reason, the two of you still can’t decide upon meeting your baby, you can live with them for a month or two before picking a name that perfectly suits them.   

#13

Ooof. The 9 Of Them Also Live In A 200 Square Foot Bus

Ooof. The 9 Of Them Also Live In A 200 Square Foot Bus

catkarpet Report

Peppy Piplup
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Isn't Audie a normal name though? It's the least worst

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#14

Planning Ahead

Planning Ahead

jenbosen Report

#15

Mom Sent Me This Text Today. Possibly The Worst Name I’ve Seen

Mom Sent Me This Text Today. Possibly The Worst Name I’ve Seen

CallDownTheHawk Report

Depending on where you live, you might have time after the baby is born to finalize a name, but you also might have strict laws in relation to what your baby can be called. Certain countries have approved baby name lists, which can frustrate some parents, but can also protect children from being named Anuhsteezia. In New Zealand, for example, there is a list of banned baby names, including Christ, Messiah, Lucifer and Justice. One would hope that parents would never dream of calling their children many of the names featured on this list, but unfortunately, the list does exist for a reason. Without restrictions in place, New Zealand would have at least 31 ‘King’s, 28 ‘Princess’es, 7 ‘Majesty’s and 25 ‘Royal’s. Apparently, some names still slip through the cracks though. According to CNN, New Zealand has at least one person named Violence and another named Number 16 Bus Shelter. 

#16

Song Is Forever Changed In My Head Now

Song Is Forever Changed In My Head Now

Desperate-Trust-875 Report

#17

Username Checks Out

Username Checks Out

ebba_and_flow Report

#18

From Hp Sub

From Hp Sub

Budgiejen Report

Nathan Pogorzala
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You would think the land of Mormons would want names a tad more biblical. But then you see the names of the chapters of the Book of Mormon and then you understand completely.

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According to The Washington Post, at least 12 countries currently have legislation in place regarding baby naming, including Germany, Spain, Portugal, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Japan and Malaysia. Some nations, such as the Scandinavian democracies, have these rules in place to look out for the well-being of children and their future reputations. On the other hand, some countries, like Morocco, have banned names of certain ethnic groups. But there can also be logistical reasons for restricting certain names. Some states in the US, for example, don’t allow for diacritics to be in registered names. This means that if you would like to name your child José, he will be legally registered as Jose. 

#19

This Post On Facebook Got Me. This Is (Some Of) The Future

This Post On Facebook Got Me. This Is (Some Of) The Future

ravioli-garlicbread Report

Dutchman Callypso
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I was named something like that, I'd change my name the day I reached adulthood...

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#20

“Simple” They Want To A Name A Child “Simple.”

“Simple” They Want To A Name A Child “Simple.”

mechele2024 Report

#21

Some On-The-Nose Landlord Names From The 11th C

Some On-The-Nose Landlord Names From The 11th C

WeirdMedieval Report

See Also on Bored Panda

But aside from the attempted use of foreign characters or names that are just too long for government databases to handle, governments in some of these countries have rejected other names just because they are absurd (or offensive). Sweden has stopped children from being named Metallica, Superman, Veranda, Ikea, and Elvis, while Germany has rejected Matti, Osama bin Laden and Adolf Hitler as baby names. In Japan, someone tried to name their child Akuma, or devil, and in China someone simply wanted to name their baby @. New Zealand has also turned down Anal, 5th, V8 and *. Yes, someone wanted to name their child just an asterisk.

#22

I Know Nick Cannon Gets Posted A Lot, But Baby #9 Is Confirmed On The Way… Here Are Is Other 8 Kids Names

I Know Nick Cannon Gets Posted A Lot, But Baby #9 Is Confirmed On The Way… Here Are Is Other 8 Kids Names

DoofusTinyRick Report

Lea Panthera
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*throws up hands in surrender* I'm done, I can't take anymore. Goodbye, world.

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#23

11 Babies Named Arson Last Year

11 Babies Named Arson Last Year

desbellesphotos Report

TheDivineMsM
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why on earth would you want to give your baby a name that reminds us of violence or unrest?????? That'll be the next name trending for a girl..."violence".... these names are awful.

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#24

I Think I’ve Found The Perfect Name!

I Think I’ve Found The Perfect Name!

St_Eddas_Curse Report

Plenty of  thought should go into naming our beloved children, but we have to think about the future as well. When a kid is given a name that is extremely difficult to pronounce or spell, their life is just made harder. Parents must remember not to be selfish when naming their kids. As exciting as it feels to have the power to name your little one (almost) anything you want, don’t abuse that power. Think about what it will be like when they’re 5, 10, 20, and 50. Most people will not be thinking, “Wow, your parents are so cool for giving you a unique name!” when they encounter a Juztiss. They will likely be thinking, “Wow, you should get that name changed ASAP.” There are plenty of interesting and beautiful names that will stand the test of time. If you do enough research, I promise you’ll find one you like.  

#25

This Mom Needs Her Naming Rights Taken Away

This Mom Needs Her Naming Rights Taken Away

srd425 Report

#26

Every Day On This Sub I Must Practise Restraint

Every Day On This Sub I Must Practise Restraint

delidaydreams Report

We hope you’re enjoying this list of ridiculous names people have bestowed upon their children for some reason. As funny as they may be, please remember them if you’re ever having a child, and don’t make the same mistakes these people have. I absolutely love my name, but I have still had to deal with my fair share of mispronunciations, misspellings and “Can I just call you a nickname instead?” throughout my life. I can only imagine how terrible it would be if my parents had named me Juse Bocks or Deevagurl. Keep upvoting the posts you find most atrocious, and then let us know in the comments what the worst baby name you’ve ever heard was. 

#28

I’m Sorry….truxtyn??????

I’m Sorry….truxtyn??????

theorekid Report

G M
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do you come up with names like these? Is there a tv or book series I’m not aware of?

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#29

When You Change The Spelling Of A Common Name And Get Surprised That The General Public Can’t Pronounce It

When You Change The Spelling Of A Common Name And Get Surprised That The General Public Can’t Pronounce It

desbellesphotos Report

ThatBiBookLover
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The amount of people who named their kids bad names… how do you even pronounce Gyanna???

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#30

Found In My Facebook Bumper Group

Found In My Facebook Bumper Group

brontesloan Report

#31

Medical Terms As *Pretty Girl Names*

Medical Terms As *Pretty Girl Names*

YetiYogurt Report

See Also on Bored Panda
#32

Tl;dr: We Pulled A Name Out Of Our Collective A** For Our Kid And Are Outraged That People Mispronounce It

Tl;dr: We Pulled A Name Out Of Our Collective A** For Our Kid And Are Outraged That People Mispronounce It

Karmitely Report

No Clue
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So in other words, you're b*tching about how your parents giving you a f*cked up name f*cked you up, and then you turn around and do the same thing to your own kid? Good job *sshole. 👏

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#33

List Of Names At My Lunch Lady Friends Elementary School…

List Of Names At My Lunch Lady Friends Elementary School…

quarterlifecrisisgir Report

#34

Please Tell Me This Is One Of You Trolling

Please Tell Me This Is One Of You Trolling

Chachasims93 Report

Sonja
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes I am really glad we can choose only from approved names here.

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#35

Because Who Would Hate The Name Notch?

Because Who Would Hate The Name Notch?

Albatross-Foreign Report

ThatHuskyStorm
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah…I wouldn’t leave him alone with the birth certificates. I’d even warn the nurses and doctors ahead of time about this.

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#36

This Is Literally Not What Synestesia Is. Literally Anyone Can Feel A ‘Vibe’ From A Name

This Is Literally Not What Synestesia Is. Literally Anyone Can Feel A ‘Vibe’ From A Name

MrsChess Report

brodie
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

wouldn’t synesthesia be like a taste or other sense being activated through a different sense (e.g. “tasting” words)?

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#37

How Do You Even Fix Your Mouth To Say These Words??

How Do You Even Fix Your Mouth To Say These Words??

flashlightbugs Report

Jan Rosier
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

tonguetwister name, will not take very long for the L and the R to get mixed up

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#39

My Father Will Hear About This (If You Know, You Know)

My Father Will Hear About This (If You Know, You Know)

DaisyMaeMalfoy666 Report

Ember
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

….is this a purely American thing, naming kids after guns???

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Note: this post originally had 110 images. It’s been shortened to the top 39 images based on user votes.