They say the first impression is the one that counts. But how difficult it is to find a good conversation starter to break the ice with that pretty girl you’ve been eyeing all night or with your new co-worker who looks super friendly! That doesn’t mean that you should let the opportunity slip away, though.
If you’re really interested, you want to make sure your first impression is as good as possible, but we also know that some of us are just naturally shy and a bit of a wallflower. So how do you do it? Do you start with a funny joke? Or with one of those insightful questions to get the conversation going?
We’ve got you covered, so there is no reason to hide in a corner. We’ve pulled together an arsenal of icebreaker jokes and puns that work wonders! We also included some more serious yet interesting questions that can help you fill the awkward silences when you find yourself stuck for something to say. Good luck!
I just heard the man who invented autocorrect just died. May he restaurant in peace.
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Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions?
I do.
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Excuse me? Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice.
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Anxiety is just a conspiracy about yourself and others.
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Are you a keyboard?
Because you're just my type.
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What’s a horrible icebreaker?
The Titanic.
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Tobacco companies kill their best customers.
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If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
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Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn's cocktail party?
He pulled a mussel.
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People used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, nobody's laughing now.
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Are you a 45-degree angle?
Because you're acute-y.
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If shorts are called shorts, why aren't pants called longs?
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My girlfriend told me she needed to take a break from me.
So I gave her a Kit Kat.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?
A conversation.
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What do superheroes put in their drinks?
Just ice!
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Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?
She could not control her pupils.
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You don’t own money, it’s just your turn with it.
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What's the worst thing you ever did as a kid and got away with?
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What did Delaware? Her New Jersey.
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What did the rug say to the floor? Do not move! I have got you covered!
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Stopwatch.
Stopwatch who?
Stopwatch you're doing and talk to me.
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At the very start, let me say that we both have something in common. You don't know what I'm going to say, and neither do I.
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What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a cat on ice? One cool cat!
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Why do Eskimos build so many igloos?
Because they love to ice-o-late themselves.
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Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
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If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
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People who are larger have more skin. Making them skinnier.
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Being scared to check your bank account is the adult version of being scared to check your grades.
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I've only been fired from a job once. It was a calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
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How do you prevent a summer cold?
Catch it in the winter!
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What is a tree’s favorite drink?
Root beer.
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What do you get when you cross a dog with a telephone?
A Golden Receiver!
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How does a farmer count a herd of cows? With a cow-culator.
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Do you ever lay looking up at the stars and think of all the messed up things in the world? Like why is there a D in fridge, but not in refrigerator?
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What are two truths and a lie about you?
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If you had to use a fake name, what name would you make up?
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, 'Is this some kind of joke?'
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When I meet people, I immediately start talking about global warming. It’s a real ice breaker.
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Mirrors don’t break, they multiply.
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Fire trucks are actually water trucks.
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What clothes does a house wear? Address.
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My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename my cat.
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I cooked dinner for my family last night and it was going to be a surprise, but the fire trucks ruined it.
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The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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I recently started speed reading. So far, I can read “War and Peace” in ten seconds. It’s only three words, but it’s a start.
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Why are penguins socially awkward?
They find it difficult to break the ice.
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What kind of bird can lift the most?
A crane.
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Where do fortunetellers dance?
At the crystal ball.
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Why did the tomato blush?
It is because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
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What’s at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.
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Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.
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What did the right eye say to the left eye?
Just between you and me, something smells!
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Where do you learn to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
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What country makes you shiver?
Chile.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It is time to go to sweep.
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATHE!! BREATHEEEEE!!!
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What is round and bad-tempered?
A vicious circle.
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What’s a comedian’s least favorite drink? Booze!
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My sister once froze a dollar in a block of ice. It was cold hard cash.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo? Big holes all over Australia!
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What has six eyes but cannot see? Three blind mice.
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Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions.
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If your shirt isn’t tucked into your pants. Then your pants are tucked into your shirt.
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If everyone blinked in sync nobody would know that other people blinked.
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You know what can really ruin a Friday? Remembering it’s only Thursday.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in 10 different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did.
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Life without you would be like a broken pencil… pointless.
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When I meet new people, I immediately start talking about global warming. It's a real ice breaker.
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Catch a man a fish and he can eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.
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The gym is like a church. Everyone thinks they can go for an hour and erase their sins from the week.
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My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.
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A man has died after falling in a vat of coffee; it was instant.
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Do you know what really bugs me?
Discreetly placed microphones.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
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What kind of cat likes to go bowling?
Alley cats.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
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What is gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?
The Presidential seal.
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What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on a head!
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What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
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How do you make a hot dog stand? Steal its chair.
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What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a huge plus.
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What did the duck say to the woman who bought lipstick? Put it on my bill!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook? Wet feet.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile? A cartoon.
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I moved into a bungalow recently.
I was going to move into a house, but that’s another storey!
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What washes up on very small beaches? Microwaves.
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What travels around the world but stays in one corner? A stamp.
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Do you know what a clean desk is a sign of? A cluttered desk drawer.
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Do you know who taught the first teacher?
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How do you get an ice cube to melt faster? Talk to it and get into a heated argument!
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What if dogs lick us because they know we have bones inside?
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What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bi-son.
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I flirted with disaster last night. Now disaster won't stop texting me.
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If you had to be a candy bar, what kind of candy would you be?
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What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I am coming down with something!
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My girlfriend asked me to buy something that makes her look sexy again, so I got a crate of lager in.
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Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?
Silverware.
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What has many keys but cannot open any doors?
A piano.
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What did the man say when he slipped and fell on ice?
Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.
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You can’t stand backwards on stairs!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm? A goat.
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You're so beautiful that you made me forget the rest of my pick-up line.
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So, do you believe in love at first sight, or do you want to walk by me again?
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Other than my sparkling wit, what's the one thing you would want to have if you were stuck on a desert island?
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Everyone is gifted, it’s just that some people never open the package.
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Did you hear about the pilot who always had work?
He was great at landing a job.
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Why was the math book sad? Because it has many problems.
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Does it annoy you too that 24-hour clocks never actually show the time 24:00? Like it gets to 23:59 and then goes straight to 00:00. What are your thoughts on this issue?
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If a liar tells you they are lying, are they lying or telling the truth?
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What did the dog say when he sat on the sandpaper? Rough! Rough!
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What country makes you shiver?
Chile.
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Did you hear about the magic tractor? It was driving down the road and suddenly turned into a field!
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How does a pig go to the hospital? In a hambulance.
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