Mom Looks For Sympathy After Revealing Her Toddler Gets Hours Of iPad Daily, Gets None Online
Whether you are responsible for raising a healthy, morally strong human being in this world or not, you’re likely aware of the never-ending screen time debate that’s been splitting parents into two camps – those who don’t see a big deal about their toddler indulging in countless hours of “Baby Shark” and those who do.
What’s a better way, then, to see if you’re too relaxed about the whole thing than putting yourself in front of a jury of mothers? A couple of days ago, a mommy by the username MelroseGrainger did just that when she asked the Mumsnet community if an excessive amount of screen time is “rotting her toddler’s brains”. Alas, as if knowing the verdict before pressing that “publish” button, the mother humorously finished off with “runs and ducks for cover.”
Recently, a mother asked other parents if being relaxed about a toddler’s screen time makes her a bad parent
Image credits: Aliaksei Smalenski (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MelroseGrainger
Image credits: Jessica Lewis Creative (not the actual photo)
If you’re one of those parents who find guesstimating and regulating your kids’ screen time a bit baffling, rest assured you’re not alone. This gets particularly complicated as headlines such as NPR‘s “How Smartphones are Making Kids Unhappy” and The Huffington Post’s “How Technology Has Made Our Kids Smarter Than Ever” run parallel to each other.
The somewhat good news is that parents are as divided about the whole screen time issue as the experts’ findings. According to a 2020 Pew Research report, 71% of parents with a child under the age of 12 say they are at least somewhat concerned that their child might spend too much time in front of screens, with 31% expressing a high level of concern. However, to the dismay of other parents, the rest of childrearers don’t think it’s such a big deal.
You might not be too surprised to hear that bribing your kids with extra screen time is akin to “giving a kid a little bit of cocaine.” Of course, that is a wild exaggeration most parents have heard in their own formative years about TV or Nintendo 64. To paraphrase Vicki Broadbent, the founder of HonestMum.com: parents must do what’s necessary to survive and flourish, managing the immense mental and physical toll that comes with juggling parenthood. And if that means a few extra hours on the iPad now and then, who are we to judge?
Most parents didn’t shy away from giving the mom their honest two cents about kids’ screen time
All things in moderation. If the literal WHO is saying only <1 hrs/ day, why do you think you know better? Please take your infant child off the gadgets, it's really not great for their development. And there is always the chance that they could be exposed to things that are not appropriate or safe.
Advanced in numeracy ? My three daughters could count up to 20 in french (parents language) spanish (country language) and english (courtesy of the lovely american student from daycare) by two YO. And it is not me humble bragging. Actually, all the other kids at daycare could as well (removing the french maybe). You just can´t be a lazy parent and expect an happy outcome.
Quite. I go to push my kids on the swing? We count down from 5 in English/French/German/Spanish and together, progressively letting them take more control of the counting. They get exercise, fresh air, and language skills.
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Books? Socialization? Sunshine? Her attention span not attached to the tablet is probably non-existent.
All of the things their 'advanced' child learned from the iPad could also be taught by the parents if they weren't lazy and without all of the lasting effects of staring at a screen hours for hours every day.
Also Sesame Street. my daughter could count to 30 at age 2 and knew how to count to 10 in multiple languages. I taught her a lot also and those things she didn't forget. Now she shows me a YouTube video and doesn't even remember it's the same one she watched the week before and already showed me. Kids need real socialization- ESPECIALLY with their parents
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I think hours on an iPad isn't great, but I am wondering what the circumstances are? I have to say that I have a very clingy 3mo that often will scream for me and only me. To combat this, I put him in his swing for a bit and let him watch Pocoyo or Backyardigans. Believe it or not, he will watch intently and be quiet long enough for me to eat or go to the bathroom. I think sometimes as parents we overlook that you just need a break once in a while, or things pile up. If there is a healthy balance, we should be careful of judging. After all, there are things in every home that would be considered absolutely bonkers to other families. I imagine if someone came to my house they would be astounded at the number of Nerf guns stashed in drawers, under beds, and in random places. It's normal for my house to break out in random Nerf gun fights, but I am sure that would be disapproved of by some.
I think it's perfectly normal for babies to watch those kinds of shows. They learn a lot and are stimulated and it calms them down but when they are on YouTube flipping through videos at that age they are overstimulated and won't be able to focus on anything longer than five minutes or get much sleep. Toddler shows usually make them chill out and go to sleep especially when they watch the same show every day.
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It is not good, have a friend who is a child psychologist and the stuff he would say, broadly so not specific, about how it effects kids is crazy. My nieces and nephews are only know getting video games and kid friendly tablets and they are all 7 yr old+
When kids are little they are like little sponges and they will absorb everything the good and the bad. I didn't know it at the time, but I have had chronic fatigue since 17 years old. I didn't really have a lot of energy, so while I did do as many active things with my daughter as I could, we also watched documentaries on TV: mostly Animal Planet. This was before iPads/tablets and smartphones. She went to preschool playgroup twice a week and we used almost to go to the library and do bike rides and go to the beach. I think you need to be very much aware of what your children are watching and if they're going to her screen time you need to be there. Engage with your child, ask them relevant questions, and be there to answer their questions. We had a big open plan living room so while I was busy in the kitchen I could see what she was watching. Everything in moderation.
We were too poor to have Internet when my daughter was a baby. We went to the library and rented movies. I am so grateful for this. We didn't get wifi or streaming even once we were able to afford it until covid happened and we were required to have it. My daughter was 8 by that time. She was obsessed with it immediately and wanted to be on it all day. She got rid of most of her toys when she was 9 and it has made her grow up very fast I feel and it's very hard to get control over it now. Fortunately she is coming back around to doing other things (she Is 10 now) and uses YouTube to get ideas for drawing and projects. She plays roblox quite a bit but also has been wanting to watch movies more lately with me instead and now that it is summer would rather be swimming all day. I don't know what kind of child she would have been if she had access to wifi enabled devices since baby hood. I am grateful she did not and if we had another child I would make the same choice.
My son has had an iPad for a few years now but it is heavily locked down. There are a load of educational apps on it (Squeebles, Tappity) plus Sketches Pro, a piano app and a synth app. He cannot watch anything on it, he has to do stuff on it. Then in the early evening it locks out until the next morning. We do restrict his time on it. Generally he plays with his toys, rather than the iPad.
Screen time give bad temper? Pretty sure it's not endorse by WHO. Sure there's bad side for too much time, but that's a stretch.
It effects emotional regulation in a child who hasn’t learned any other coping skills. Yes, bad tempers flare up when they can’t have their usual cope for boredom.
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Beats my niece's bff's first kid. Two month old and already got a iPad. Pad didn't even last a month. She is now 5 and overweight like a beach ball. Great girl but the spoiling will one day hurt her so much that she will blame her parents forever.
I’ve heard of kindergartners unable to hold crayons because using tablets constantly ruined their development of motor skills.
It’s okay with an hour or two, to get them to quiet down or something, but I think any more than that isn’t good for them. It can be a different story when they’re older (teen), but even then you shouldn’t do too much (and I say this as a screen addicted teen.) If they get used to it, it’ll be harder to stop and the screen will be the only thing they want to do.
Their 2-1/2 year-old is their designated driver? iPad or no iPad, that kid is advanced!
Every brain, every person/child is different. For this child, this may be the best thing. The bottom line, is there is no way to predict. I would say that as long as the child has other activities and isn't solely on the iPad, then it should b fine. People forget that our lives r going more to technology, and that the younger generations r starting earlier and earlier. How young were kids getting video game systems? People said the same things, but for some people, it's helped them develop in different ways and become successful
Kids learn through play same way baby animals do. All the playing strengthens muscles, exercises fine and gross motor skills, teaches logic and consequences etc etc. All stuff that doesn't happen sitting stationary and staring at a screen tapping away. My two year old know some numbers and colours also, she's never touched a tablet. She can also use cutlery, use crayons/pens, jump, climb ridiculous things etc etc. Wonder how her dear daughter is getting on with all that physical stuff, not to mention speaking and socializing with people and regulating her emotions, coping with boredom and coping when something is difficult. If you can get your tower to stay upin real life 🤷 you keep trying. You do a pretend one on a screen and not only is the physics all jacked to make it easier but they'll give you a hint after so many goes.
Load More Replies... Thanks Kevin. I think this proves our point.
Load More Replies... All things in moderation. If the literal WHO is saying only <1 hrs/ day, why do you think you know better? Please take your infant child off the gadgets, it's really not great for their development. And there is always the chance that they could be exposed to things that are not appropriate or safe.
Advanced in numeracy ? My three daughters could count up to 20 in french (parents language) spanish (country language) and english (courtesy of the lovely american student from daycare) by two YO. And it is not me humble bragging. Actually, all the other kids at daycare could as well (removing the french maybe). You just can´t be a lazy parent and expect an happy outcome.
Quite. I go to push my kids on the swing? We count down from 5 in English/French/German/Spanish and together, progressively letting them take more control of the counting. They get exercise, fresh air, and language skills.
Load More Replies... Books? Socialization? Sunshine? Her attention span not attached to the tablet is probably non-existent.
All of the things their 'advanced' child learned from the iPad could also be taught by the parents if they weren't lazy and without all of the lasting effects of staring at a screen hours for hours every day.
Also Sesame Street. my daughter could count to 30 at age 2 and knew how to count to 10 in multiple languages. I taught her a lot also and those things she didn't forget. Now she shows me a YouTube video and doesn't even remember it's the same one she watched the week before and already showed me. Kids need real socialization- ESPECIALLY with their parents
Load More Replies... I think hours on an iPad isn't great, but I am wondering what the circumstances are? I have to say that I have a very clingy 3mo that often will scream for me and only me. To combat this, I put him in his swing for a bit and let him watch Pocoyo or Backyardigans. Believe it or not, he will watch intently and be quiet long enough for me to eat or go to the bathroom. I think sometimes as parents we overlook that you just need a break once in a while, or things pile up. If there is a healthy balance, we should be careful of judging. After all, there are things in every home that would be considered absolutely bonkers to other families. I imagine if someone came to my house they would be astounded at the number of Nerf guns stashed in drawers, under beds, and in random places. It's normal for my house to break out in random Nerf gun fights, but I am sure that would be disapproved of by some.
I think it's perfectly normal for babies to watch those kinds of shows. They learn a lot and are stimulated and it calms them down but when they are on YouTube flipping through videos at that age they are overstimulated and won't be able to focus on anything longer than five minutes or get much sleep. Toddler shows usually make them chill out and go to sleep especially when they watch the same show every day.
Load More Replies... It is not good, have a friend who is a child psychologist and the stuff he would say, broadly so not specific, about how it effects kids is crazy. My nieces and nephews are only know getting video games and kid friendly tablets and they are all 7 yr old+
When kids are little they are like little sponges and they will absorb everything the good and the bad. I didn't know it at the time, but I have had chronic fatigue since 17 years old. I didn't really have a lot of energy, so while I did do as many active things with my daughter as I could, we also watched documentaries on TV: mostly Animal Planet. This was before iPads/tablets and smartphones. She went to preschool playgroup twice a week and we used almost to go to the library and do bike rides and go to the beach. I think you need to be very much aware of what your children are watching and if they're going to her screen time you need to be there. Engage with your child, ask them relevant questions, and be there to answer their questions. We had a big open plan living room so while I was busy in the kitchen I could see what she was watching. Everything in moderation.
We were too poor to have Internet when my daughter was a baby. We went to the library and rented movies. I am so grateful for this. We didn't get wifi or streaming even once we were able to afford it until covid happened and we were required to have it. My daughter was 8 by that time. She was obsessed with it immediately and wanted to be on it all day. She got rid of most of her toys when she was 9 and it has made her grow up very fast I feel and it's very hard to get control over it now. Fortunately she is coming back around to doing other things (she Is 10 now) and uses YouTube to get ideas for drawing and projects. She plays roblox quite a bit but also has been wanting to watch movies more lately with me instead and now that it is summer would rather be swimming all day. I don't know what kind of child she would have been if she had access to wifi enabled devices since baby hood. I am grateful she did not and if we had another child I would make the same choice.
My son has had an iPad for a few years now but it is heavily locked down. There are a load of educational apps on it (Squeebles, Tappity) plus Sketches Pro, a piano app and a synth app. He cannot watch anything on it, he has to do stuff on it. Then in the early evening it locks out until the next morning. We do restrict his time on it. Generally he plays with his toys, rather than the iPad.
Screen time give bad temper? Pretty sure it's not endorse by WHO. Sure there's bad side for too much time, but that's a stretch.
It effects emotional regulation in a child who hasn’t learned any other coping skills. Yes, bad tempers flare up when they can’t have their usual cope for boredom.
Load More Replies... Beats my niece's bff's first kid. Two month old and already got a iPad. Pad didn't even last a month. She is now 5 and overweight like a beach ball. Great girl but the spoiling will one day hurt her so much that she will blame her parents forever.
I’ve heard of kindergartners unable to hold crayons because using tablets constantly ruined their development of motor skills.
It’s okay with an hour or two, to get them to quiet down or something, but I think any more than that isn’t good for them. It can be a different story when they’re older (teen), but even then you shouldn’t do too much (and I say this as a screen addicted teen.) If they get used to it, it’ll be harder to stop and the screen will be the only thing they want to do.
Their 2-1/2 year-old is their designated driver? iPad or no iPad, that kid is advanced!
Every brain, every person/child is different. For this child, this may be the best thing. The bottom line, is there is no way to predict. I would say that as long as the child has other activities and isn't solely on the iPad, then it should b fine. People forget that our lives r going more to technology, and that the younger generations r starting earlier and earlier. How young were kids getting video game systems? People said the same things, but for some people, it's helped them develop in different ways and become successful
Kids learn through play same way baby animals do. All the playing strengthens muscles, exercises fine and gross motor skills, teaches logic and consequences etc etc. All stuff that doesn't happen sitting stationary and staring at a screen tapping away. My two year old know some numbers and colours also, she's never touched a tablet. She can also use cutlery, use crayons/pens, jump, climb ridiculous things etc etc. Wonder how her dear daughter is getting on with all that physical stuff, not to mention speaking and socializing with people and regulating her emotions, coping with boredom and coping when something is difficult. If you can get your tower to stay upin real life 🤷 you keep trying. You do a pretend one on a screen and not only is the physics all jacked to make it easier but they'll give you a hint after so many goes.
Load More Replies... Thanks Kevin. I think this proves our point.
Load More Replies...
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