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Wife Is Sick of Husband Financially Supporting Grown-Up Kids, Sparks Internet Debate On The Issue
Every parent wants what’s best for their kids and will do everything in their power to try to support them even in adulthood. Unfortunately, these good intentions can have an unintended consequence of making the children too dependent, which can then be problematic for their parents.
This is what one couple faced because even though they had entered their 60s, they still couldn’t retire as they were supporting their adult kids. The mom wanted to travel and enjoy her life, but she and her husband felt bound by responsibility.
More info: Reddit
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When people have to push their retirement age even further due to family responsibilities or money, it can put a strain on their well-being
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that even though she and her husband were in their 60s, he wanted to delay retirement as their adult kids were financially relying on them
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman and her husband were covering all of their kids’ expenses because their son was unemployed, and their daughter worked part-time
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman didn’t want to put off her dreams to keep supporting her grown children, and didn’t know what to do to convince her husband about retirement
Image credits: PsychologicalHalf888
After asking people for advice, the poster and her husband decided to slowly cut back on their financial support and let their kids eventually fend for themselves
The couple obviously wanted to do their best for their children, which is why they kept working even in their retirement. It must not have been an easy decision to put their needs aside and cover all of their kids’ finances, but the OP and her husband did what needed to be done for their sake.
Times are changing now, and studies have found that many adult children still live with their parents and depend on them financially. This could be attributed to inflation, higher housing prices, and a decline in the job market. It’s therefore difficult for young people to make it on their own and manage all their costs, which is why they need to rely on their parents more.
The poster’s son was unemployed and didn’t want to get a job outside his field of expertise, which is why he needed all of his bills to be covered. Their daughter worked part-time and couldn’t find a full-time position that matched her skillset; that’s why she also needed her parents to support her.
This situation is actually more common than you would expect, as research shows that nearly 50% of parents have sacrificed their financial security to help their kids. Around 83% of adults who support their grown children also contribute to their monthly groceries and bills, which is what the OP and her husband were doing.
Image credits: photoroyalty / Freepik (not the actual photo)
It’s clear that this financial support situation was no longer working for the OP, and she wanted to finally get a chance to live out her dreams. She hoped that she’d be able to travel with her husband and do things they enjoy in their retirement without having to worry about their kids’ finances.
That’s why, when the woman asked for help, many people told her to stop enabling her grown children and to let them fend for themselves. According to psychologists, many parents think that they are being kind by doing everything for their kids and making things easier for them, but this can actually backfire.
Just like in the poster’s case, it could make the young adults highly dependent, to the point that they don’t know how to do things on their own. That’s exactly what netizens told the poster, and she finally realized that she was doing a disservice to her children and needed to set boundaries with them slowly.
That’s why the OP and her husband planned to slowly cut back on their financial help and make sure that their kids could handle the new responsibilities. They also decided to directly communicate their expectations with their son and daughter so that they’d all be on the same page.
Do you think the parents did the right thing by finally setting boundaries with their dependent children? Let us know your honest thoughts on this topic.
People felt that the poster and her husband were coddling their kids and needed to finally stop financially supporting them
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What do you think ?
Vinnie 1 month ago (edited)
When I read that the son won't take a job outside his field, my thought was this: It's easier to explain a job outside one's field than a gap without employment. Plus there are people who get references and contacts from work. No guarantees, but I've heard of happy customers giving advice and leads to their favouirite cashier or barista.
Mike F 3 weeks ago
Sounds like they studied political science and can't find a job. If it was me, "you have a year, get off your @ss and get a meaningful job. You will either have another place to live or pay rent to live here. You are going to grow up if you have to do it kicking and screaming."
Load More Replies...
Earonn - 1 month ago
Yes, I hated it when I couldn't get a job in the field I had learned (because back then there were no mobile phone cameras and bosses felt save to tell you to your face that they wouldn't employ women). I tried for almost 2 years before accepting a job in a call centre.I will get less pension because of this. Still, better than never having a job.
Tyke 1 month ago
Love the husband's opinion of needing to upgrade the kid's cars... from a nearly 50 year old driving her parents hand-me-down 25 year old banger.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Yep, I'm driving a 25-year-old car too XD
Load More Replies... Vinnie 1 month ago (edited)
When I read that the son won't take a job outside his field, my thought was this: It's easier to explain a job outside one's field than a gap without employment. Plus there are people who get references and contacts from work. No guarantees, but I've heard of happy customers giving advice and leads to their favouirite cashier or barista.
Mike F 3 weeks ago
Sounds like they studied political science and can't find a job. If it was me, "you have a year, get off your @ss and get a meaningful job. You will either have another place to live or pay rent to live here. You are going to grow up if you have to do it kicking and screaming."
Load More Replies... Earonn - 1 month ago
Yes, I hated it when I couldn't get a job in the field I had learned (because back then there were no mobile phone cameras and bosses felt save to tell you to your face that they wouldn't employ women). I tried for almost 2 years before accepting a job in a call centre.I will get less pension because of this. Still, better than never having a job.
Tyke 1 month ago
Love the husband's opinion of needing to upgrade the kid's cars... from a nearly 50 year old driving her parents hand-me-down 25 year old banger.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Yep, I'm driving a 25-year-old car too XD
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